Charisa Stories

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  • Life Is Too Short To…

    Life Is Too Short To…

    A couple of weeks ago I wrote about quitting negativity. It’s hard to stop griping cold turkey but I am doing better. Recently I have had some honest conversations that showed me the debilitating impact of a negative spirit.

    One person shared his deep hatred for people of one political persuasion. Another felt totally hopeless about the divisions in our culture.

    I shared with both that my hope was in Christ and not in Washington. I pray that I planted a seed of hope in their hearts. Those conversations generated two strong emotions. I was deeply saddened that my friends did not share my hope in Christ. And I was more convinced than ever that I want to be a positive light in this increasingly dark world.

    Last year I became aware of a very talented songwriter/singer from my hometown of Chillicothe, Ohio. Jerry Salley writes songs that inspire and give hope. One of my favorites is titled “Add More Life to My Days” and you can hear it on Jerry’s CD Bridges and Backroads. The lyric starts with a unrealistic wish for life.

    I wish we all could live at least until we’re 90
    Without any aches, or pains, or a cloudy mind
    I wish everyone could taste the kind of love they dream of finding
    And get to see their ship come sailin’ in at least one time

    Wouldn’t that be wonderful? But Jerry knows the truth of life on this fallen planet.

    I’ve been here long enough to know
    That ain’t the way it always goes

    Jesus never promised all smooth sailing as we waited for our ship to come in.

    “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew 6:34, NLT)

    Tomorrow will bring worries and troubles? Where is our hope in that? Jesus has the answer.

    “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NLT)

    Jesus tells me to not worry about future troubles. He promises peace and victory over the world. One more promise from Jesus is found in Matthew 6:33.

    Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously,
    and he will give you everything you need.

    That doesn’t mean live perfectly. It simply means to be humble, trust God, love one another, and He will provide your needs. We misunderstand that promise if we think that means getting everything you want. What a promise to hang on to in these difficult times that the God of creation will provide my daily needs.

    The chorus of Jerry Salley’s song talks about the uncertainty of our lifespan. But he does have a wonderful suggestion for the days we are given.

    So if I’m one of those travelers whose journeys gets cut short
    And leave the ones I leave behind wishin’ I had more time
    All I can say is I can’t add more days to my life
    So I’ll add more life to my days

    I love that. I can’t personally add a single minute to my life but I can choose to add more life to the time I am granted. I can definitely choose to be present and joyful each day. Every day is a gift of grace. I believe everyday has sacred moments so I can pray the Holy Spirit will give me eyes to see and savor those moments. Paul was sitting in a Roman prison as he finished his letter to the Church at Philippi. Could there be a more unlikely circumstance to coin these words to his fellow sojourners?

    Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! (Philippians 4:4, NLT)

    So if you want to add more life to your days here is a little checklist.

    • Quit worrying about tomorrow.
    • Be joyful in the Lord. Rejoice!
    • Look for sacred moments everyday.
    • Love God and one another.

    And for today’s conclusion I give Paul the final word.

    And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9)

  • Get Out Of Groundhog Day Faith

    Get Out Of Groundhog Day Faith

    Every year they rudely awaken Punxsutawney Phil long enough for the reluctant rodent to let us know if six more weeks of winter awaits. Phil always looks as happy as I do when when I am disturbed in the morning. Twenty-eight years ago a funny and underappreciated movie came on the scene. Groundhog Day told the story of a self-absorbed news reporter (redundancy alert?) that finds himself stuck in an endless repeat of the same day. Bill Murray is perfect in the role of reporter Phil Connors. Reporter Phil is less than thrilled that he has been assigned to cover Punxsutawney Phil. He feels he is “above” such an inane assignment. Connor’s looks into the camera and cynically reports:

    “This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”

    The premise of the movie is that Phil Connors is doomed to live the same day over and over and over. For Connors, Groundhog Day begins each morning at 6:00 A.M as Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You Babe” blares out from his alarm clock radio. The twist is that his (and only his) memories of the “previous” day remain intact, trapped in a seemingly endless “time loop” to repeat the same day endlessly.

    I thought of another famous Bill Murray quote…this time from Stripes.

    And then depression set in.

    So what is the point of these ramblings? Is it to impress you with my cerebral movie tastes? The point is that too many followers of Jesus are stuck in a Groundhog Day life of their own. They wake up every day and feel trapped in a repeating pattern of frustrating behavior. And then, depression sets in. Why is that? I lived a Groundhog Day kind of faith for years. The Apostle Paul wrote about this very thing (not the giant rodent part…the repeating behavior part) in his letter to the Romans.

    I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. (Romans 7, The Message)

    Wow…can I relate to that. A bit later Paul writes…I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

    That is the real question. And there is a real answer offered by Paul.

    The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

    So what can you do to get out of this sin spiral?

    Nothing.

    Wait!  Don’t let depression set in. This is good news! You and I can’t do it. I am incapable in my own efficacy to escape my spiritual Groundhog Day. Only Jesus can enable me to escape this endless loop of frustration. Further advice from Paul follows in Chapter 8 of his amazing letter to the Romans.

    But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. 

    Allow the truth of that verse to soak in.

    Want to get out of your Groundhog Day existence? Most readers of these humble ramblings realize they couldn’t deal with their sin separation from God on their own. We needed Jesus. So why do we think we can deal with our ongoing sin issues on our own? When the Father looks at me on my very worst day this is what He sees.

    Jesus.

    That is step one. I don’t have to clean up the sin to please God. He loves me already because of Jesus. Step Two. I am learning daily to recognize that the Spirit of God has taken up residence in my life. I am learning that I am the one who limits His power by restricting access and not trusting Him with my thoughts and actions. I am learning that I don’t need to wake up to the frustrating effects of repeated self-effort. I can wake up trusting God, trusting that Jesus has my sin covered and trusting that the Spirit of God will allow me to resolve that sin. Trusting God and what His Word says to be true allows me to escape the Groundhog Day syndrome.

    The moral of the movie Groundhog Day was that Phil Connor needed to learn that he was self-absorbed and dependent on his selfish efforts to get ahead. The moral of the spiritual groundhog day is to learn that we cannot depend on our self efforts to live a joyful and free Christian life. I come to Jesus by grace and total dependence. I live for Jesus by grace and total dependence. While the other groundhog is busy predicting weather I would suggest you try this for the next six weeks. When the alarm jars you awake remember this truth. Instead of the Sonny and Cher song you can sing “I Got You Lord”. The two of you can end this “Groundhog Day” of frustration. I can’t help you with the weather.

  • I’m Done!

    I’m Done!

    I have reached and exceeded my saturation point.

    I’m done.

    Done with what? I am done with negativity. Our leaders, the media, and social media platforms spend a ridiculous percentage of their energy on what is wrong with this world. Their solutions are often soul-sucking condemnation, judgement, and summary dismissal of people who simply ask questions. Perhaps the most distressing thing is that many in the church have fallen into the same dark space. Christian social media responses to cultural and doctrinal issues may be slightly less profane but not much, if any, less negative.

    Brothers and sisters, we are supposed to be light! But please don’t take my word for it. Your argument is with Jesus.

    “In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will
    praise your heavenly Father.” (Matthew 5:16, NLT)

    What I see too often is this very sad paraphrase of His words demonstrated through social media platforms.

    “Let my sharp words shame or demean you so that everyone will see how clever I am and praise me.”

    Paul addressed why we should be eager to be light in the world in Ephesians 5:8.

    “For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light!“

    My heart breaks when I see how many followers of Christ seem to have forgotten they were once full of darkness. It is only because of God’s grace that you have light.

    So I am done with negativity and it is not because I am naive about the condition of the world. I am done with negativity precisely because of the condition of the world. This hurting, fearful populace needs hope, light, and grace. They need the positive message of the Good News. That is my goal for the rest of my days. I feel quite comfortable that the negative side will be well represented by countless others.

    Everyday I need to make choices.

    I can be judgmental or I can be joyful.
    I can be pessimistic or I can be prayerful.
    I can be condemning or I can be caring.
    I can be fearful or I can be faithful.
    I can be grace-filled or I can be graceless.

    We make those choices and I know they are not easy. Making the choice to eat better is hard. Making the choice to work out is even harder for me. Those are decisions with good but temporal benefits. But making the choice to be a positive, loving light in this world has eternal impact. Warren Wiersbe is one of my favorite writers. His book Be Joyful: Philippians): Even When Things Go Wrong, You Can Have Joy is a great study to reorient your negativity.

    “When you have the single mind, you look on your circumstances as God-given opportunities for the furtherance of the gospel, and you rejoice at what God is going to do instead of complaining about what God did not do.”― Warren W. Wiersbe

    That response ain’t natural my friends. That is a mindset based on who God is. It is a choice grounded on the grace He has lavishly given to each one of His children. I’m done with negativity. I don’t know if I have two weeks or two decades left on this planet but I don’t want to spend my time wallowing in pessimism. I remember joking with my television production crew a few years ago that I was in the 4th quarter of life. One of my dear, encouraging friends said this with a smile on his face. “What if you’re in overtime?” That could well be but no matter how much time is on the life clock I want to be a positive light. I want to remember and live out the truth of John 13:35.

    “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

    The choice to love and be light is infinitely more important than winning online arguments, getting social media likes, and racking up followers. I want to be a loving light for the Good News of the gospel. Anyone want to join me?

  • The Devastating Toll of Anxiety and Worry

    The Devastating Toll of Anxiety and Worry

    I see a lot of worried people around me. Worried about the pandemic. Worried about the national division. Worried about international tensions. Worried about all kinds of things. But this old proverb rings true today.

    “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

    As I get older I experience more and more how practical Scripture is for daily living. In the teaching of my youth the Bible was a book of lofty and seemingly impossible demands to behave in a way that would please God. Now I see that the Bible is a love story where Jesus met those impossible demands on my behalf. I see now that my simple faith and trust pleases God. And I see a practical book that shows me how to find joy during this temporary journey on earth. The Designer knew when we left the factory that worry is destructive. The study above merely confirms what Jesus said a couple of millenia ago.

    “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (Matthew 6:25-27, NLT)

    Jesus continues in the same message.

    “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew, 6:31-34)

    Our Designer knew something else. Most of what we consume ourselves with never happens or is not worth getting anxious about. Modern research verifies ancient wisdom.

    A research study examined how many times an imagined calamity actually came to pass. In this study, subjects were asked to write down their worries over an extended period of time and then identify which of their imagined misfortunes did not actually happen.

    The remarkable results came back that 85 percent of what subjects worried about never happened! Slow down and digest that. Eighty-five percent of what we work ourselves into varied states of frenzy about never even happens. And here is the even more remarkable finding. For the 15 percent of the worry agenda that did happen, nearly 80 percent of the respondents reported they were able to deal with the concern better than expected or they learned a valuable lesson from the event. So 97 percent of what the majority of this study group worried about was not worth wasting the energy, faith and time.

    Worry is exactly where the Enemy wants to keep the children of God. Living in fear of the future cheats you out of today. A precious moment tugs on your heart like a child at your sleeve. Too often you miss that moment concerning yourself with something that likely won’t happen or will happen in a way that your worry can not change.

    For those of you who struggle with worry maybe it helps to remember that your Heavenly Father is always on the job. Worry is not an attribute of our God. I suspect that it grieves His heart that we are paralyzed with worry when our Father is calling us to know Him, trust Him and rest in Him.

    Trusting Jesus for tomorrow, next week, next year and forever frees us to see what this moment holds. No amount of worry will change the fact that we will face death, adversity and sadness.

    As a young believer one of my favorite artists was Andrae Crouch. His lyrics powerfully showed how God uses trials to help us mature in our faith.

    I’ve had many tears and sorrows
    I’ve had questions for tomorrow
    There’s been times I didn’t know right from wrong
    But in every situation
    God gave me blessed consolation
    That my trials come to only make me strong

    Through it all
    Through it all
    I’ve learned to trust in Jesus
    I’ve learned to trust in God

    Through it all
    Through it all
    I’ve learned to depend upon His Word

    I pray that all of us learn to trust in Jesus and depend upon His Word in this difficult season.

    Much of this article was excerpted from Waking Up Slowly. The book discusses 21 different actions or attitudes that disconnect you from God and others. Check it out here.

  • Time For A Heart Demo Day?

    Time For A Heart Demo Day?

    Fixer Upper with Chip and Joanna Gaines has made Waco, Texas a tourist destination. Who saw that coming? People come from all over the country to visit the Magnolia Silos, shops, and restaurant. One of the fun parts of every Fixer Upper episode is “Demo Day”. Joanna evaluates the home to see what needs to go. Sometimes a wall needs to be knocked down. Sometimes a kitchen island is removed. Sometimes cabinets or shelves are destroyed and more stylish and efficient units are put in place. Sometimes floors are ripped up and foundations shored up.

    Chip Gaines loves demolition day. He comes in wielding a sledge hammer and a gigantic smile as he destroys sheet rock and fixtures.

    If you didn’t know what the end goal was it would look like vandalism. Knocking down a wall and leaving an enormous mess doesn’t look like a great plan at first glance. It is only when you see how removing that wall opens up the room that you see the method to Chip’s hammering madness. It is only when you see the beautiful remake of a kitchen that you understand why the original island and cabinets were smashed into kindling. The deconstruction makes sense only when you see how much better the house looks and functions afterwards.

    More than ever it feels like we need the Holy Spirit to be the fixer-upper of our hearts. The divisions in our church and culture have made the need for heart renewal urgent. Our cry should echo the Psalmist.

    Create in me a clean heart, O God.
        Renew a loyal spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10, NLT)

    We should all desire a clean heart that allows the Holy Spirit to move unencumbered in our lives. But the truth is we probably all need a demo day now and then. Maybe you need to knock down some walls of pride that keep the Spirit of God from moving freely in our hearts. God desires to give His children grace to love and forgive others. But sometimes we have to clear some space.

    And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say,

    “God opposes the proud
        but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6. NLT)

    Demolish the walls of pride to make space for humility and your heart will become a much more friendly place for your family, friends, and community.

    Perhaps you need to rearrange some things in your heart. Clear out those cabinets that stored worthless things and rebuild it with lots of storage for God’s Word.

    I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. (Psalm 119:11, NET)

    The demo process can be messy. But if you are committed to clearing out walls and strongholds that hinder your walk with the Lord I am convinced He will meet you there to reconstruct a clean heart. Don’t be afraid of demo days. Maybe we should show up with a smile of trust on our face knowing that God’s rebuild is worth the mess.

  • The Reset Button We Need For 2022

    The Reset Button We Need For 2022

    I think we are just beginning to recognize and unpack the damage caused by the pandemic lock downs. The separation of friends and families from normal interaction has left it’s toll on the culture. I would argue the effect has been even more profound on the church. If you are/were a faithful church participant you had likely bought into the truth that we need one another on this journey. Many of us have sacrificed that gift of one another to this insidious virus. I have seen responses and behaviors from churchgoers that surprised even me and I wrote a book called When Bad Christians Happen to Good People! I think the isolation may have exposed some baggage that had been buried under busyness and routine. More on that in next week’s musing.

    I am suggesting that we need to admit this separation has had a negative effect on most of us. It feels like patience is in record short supply and it is not a supply chain issue. The actions and words of others seem to agitate us more easily. The ability to discuss difficult topics with civility has become almost impossible. I don’t think those trends were a result of the pandemic but I do think its emotional and spiritual effect exacerbated it.

    So what do we do? Today I wanted to propose a reset button we can push to help reconfigure our hearts.

    Years ago an office supply company promoted a big red button that proclaimed “That Was Easy” every time you pushed it. Certainly nothing about today’s spiritual climate is easy but I am proposing a button we can mentally push when the feelings of anger, frustration, judgment, and even hatred bubble up. Push this button in your mind and hear these words.

    “We All Need Grace“

    Paul threw down a pretty straight forward statement to the Ephesian church.

    Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
    (Ephesians 4:32, NLT)

    When my impulse is to judge someone I need to push the grace button and remember God pursued me with the gift of undeserved grace. In this rush to judgment social media culture it is so disgustingly easy to go to condemnation first. Remember when the woman caught in very obvious sin was brought before Jesus by a hyped up group of self-righteous judges. When He reminded the mob of their own heart condition they went quietly away.

    “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

    “No, Lord,” she said.

    And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

    Jesus knew her heart had changed. She didn’t need a lecture, spiritual discipline, or penance. She needed forgiveness, release from judgment, and hope. Jesus is our example. He pushed the grace button when the mob wanted condemnation.

    In 2022 I want to reset my heart from the damage done by isolation and cultural negativity. I need to push the grace button.

    If I can’t forgive then I have forgotten how much I have been forgiven. I need to push the grace button.

    When I look with disdain at another person I have forgotten how God sees them. That person is a soul that Jesus loves. I need to push the grace button.

    When I don’t accept another brother or sister I have forgotten that I was unacceptable to a Holy God and that it is only because of Jesus that I am acceptable to Him. I need to push the grace button.

    When I assume to know the motives of those who oppose me I have forgotten that only God can see the true hearts of others. I need to push the grace button.

    When I can’t serve without expectation of personal return I have forgotten that my service should come from gratitude for the amazing grace of Jesus. I need to push the grace button.

    Pastor Tullian Tchividjian wrote this about our “aversion” to the radical concept of grace.

    “We love the “if/then” proposition: “If” you do this, “then” I will do that. We love “what-goes-around-comes-around” conditionality. It makes us feel safe. It’s easy to comprehend. It makes perfect sense to our grace-shy hearts. It’s makes life formulaic. It breeds a sense of manageability. And best of all, it keeps us in control. We get to keep our ledgers and scorecards.

    The logic of grace, on the other hand, is incomprehensible to our law-locked hearts. Grace is thickly counter-intuitive. It feels risky and unfair. It wrestles control out of our hands. It is wild and unsettling. It turns everything that makes sense to us upside-down and inside-out. Law says, “Good people get good stuff; bad people get bad stuff.” Grace says, “The bad get the best; the worst inherit the wealth; the slave becomes a son.” This offends our deepest sense of justice and rightness. We are, by nature, allergic to grace.”

    We need to push the grace button and believe this wonderful truth written in Hebrews for another uncertain year ahead.

    So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. (Hebrews 4:16, NLT)

  • The Broken Road Can Be A Blessing

    The Broken Road Can Be A Blessing

    Somehow the normal promise of a new year seems muted by the ongoing negative news. The sadness, division, and fear of the past couple of years feels like it will be here forever. How can you navigate the broken roads of this world?

     A song titled Bless the Broken Road was made popular by Rascal Flatts and the lyrics describe how difficulties are often teaching moments for future blessings.

    I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
    Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road
    But I got lost a time or two, wiped my brow and kept pushing through

    It is so interesting to look back over the landscape of over four decades (yikes) of my journey with Jesus. I can see God’s hand in so many events and even heartbreak in my life. My early church experience was a broken road of legalistic and judgmental Christians who crushed the spirit of a young and fumbling Christian. That experience became the basis of my books. Sadly, many of us bear the wounds of dealing with imperfect people in the sometimes dysfunctional little gathering we call church. Still, God blessed that broken road in my life by bringing the message of grace into my journey.

    The broken road for me included the devastating death of a beloved nephew many years ago. At that point I was at a crossroads in my faith. I would either turn my back on God or get serious in my pursuit of Him. Along that broken road God brought a man named Wendel Deyo into my life. His life challenged me and he helped me stay on the narrow way. That relationship led to my association with Athletes in Action. And while on staff with AIA I met the lovely Joni Banks and we were married in 1976. And again, God blessed a broken road.

    This much I know is true
    That God blessed the broken road
    That led me straight to you
    Yes He did

    It is hard to imagine life without Joni. Her cancer forced me to realize the possibility of that. I am so grateful that she is a sixteen year survivor and that she persevered in our relationship.

    I think about the years I spent, just passin’ through
    I’d like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you

    I remember with great sadness the years I spent working too much, taking my bride for granted, telling her that the schedule would soon “ease up”. But it rarely did. I really wish I had that time back. I would give it to her in a heartbeat. 

    Another thing I stress to young couples and parents is make time for your mate and your children. It took me too long to realize the truth that our schedule reflects our priorities. But somehow Joni hung with me. She had traveled her own broken road.

    But you just smile and take my hand, you’ve been there you understand
    It’s all part of a grander plan, that is comin’ true

    The journey is not easy. Never will be. One of the big mistakes we make in sharing our faith is making it seem like all troubles are over when you embrace Christianity. That is not in the contract. We will still have problems and heartaches and even tragedies. The past year has challenged most of us and has been absolutely heartbreaking for many. King David wrote these words while escaping down a broken road.

    The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;       
    he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.  Psalm 34:18

    How can we best navigate our broken roads? We can learn from the story of Joshua who had the unenviable task of taking over for Moses to lead the people of Israel into the Promised Land. He had to feel inadequate and maybe even terrified. Moses had the wisdom of his many years to share with Joshua. 

    Then Moses called for Joshua, and as all Israel watched, he said to him, “Be strong and courageous! For you will lead these people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors he would give them. You are the one who will divide it among them as their grants of land. 8 Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:7-8, NLT)

    Moses was not saying that Joshua should be strong and courageous because of his great leadership ability or the strong army at his command. Moses did not say he should not be afraid or discouraged because he had been carefully groomed to take over. The reason for that hope was simple and profoundly true today. The Lord will be with you and He will neither fail you nor abandon you. 

    No matter how broken the road you are traveling might be you can know that your Father is with you in the struggle. Don’t be afraid to continue down the broken road. God promises to go with you. Always.