Charisa Stories

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  • How God Sees Me Is Hard To Accept

    How God Sees Me Is Hard To Accept

    Perhaps it was my early church teaching that causes me to struggle with the concept that God loves me. I believe He can love others. I believe He loves the homeless person on the street and the struggling inner-city mom trying to hold her family together. But I am less sure that He always loves me. I know me. I know what lies hidden in my heart. I know my reactions. I know my thoughts. God knows all of that too. So in the sad and difficult moments I wonder how He could possibly love me.

    Perhaps that is your struggle as well.

    Philip Yancey wrote these thoughts in What’s So Amazing About Grace. “Sociologists have a theory of the looking-glass self: you become what the most important person in your life (wife, father, boss, etc.) thinks you are. How would my life change if I truly believed the Bible’s astounding words about God’s love for me, if I looked in the mirror and saw what God sees?”

    I am learning to look into the mirror and see someone that I accept by faith and not by my feelings. I see a saint. That’s right. Many (maybe all) of Satan’s accusations about me are true. But what I now see is a man who is a saint. I found twenty-nine references to the “saints” in Paul’s writings. I am pretty sure from the content of his writings that they were not always behaving like saints. They were saints because of Christ and not by meticulously following the law.

    God sees those who trust Jesus as holy. No matter how many accusations are thrown at me God sees me as holy. Amazing.
    All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 1, NLT)

    That is my (and your) identity. Holy and without fault in His eyes. I will be accused again and probably sooner than later. But I am learning to simply say this to myself.

    “That is not who I am anymore. I am a saint who sometimes sins. I am holy because of Christ.”

    There may be no more important element to living fully in the moment with God than accepting that you are loved by Him right now just as you are. That is so counterintuitive to how “love” so often works in our experience. I will love you while you are attractive. I will love you when you make me happy. I will love you when you do what I ask you to do. Human love is almost always conditional. That is not God’s love.

    The attributes of God’s love are mind boggling. It is personal. We can relate to God the Creator of the universe as our Father. Think about that. I mean really think about that. I love this thought from Brennan Manning. “We should be astonished at the goodness of God, stunned that he should bother to call us by name, our mouths wide open at his love, bewildered that at this very moment we are standing on holy ground.”

    We are conditioned to believe that if something seems too good to be true that we are being deceived. That is what the aforementioned accuser would have us to believe. But the stunning radicality of grace is that what seems to be too good to be true is more true than we can imagine. This unconditional love from God is unrelated to the emotions, expectations and desires that taint our human love.

    • God’s love is offered to the undeserving and unworthy.
    • God’s love does not consider status, gender, color, nationality, wealth, or educational achievement.
    • God loves us first. He is the one who woos us to Him.
    • God’s love is one way. He is the patient lover who never leaves and is always there when His child finally comes home.
    • This love is ours by simple faith. We don’t have to do a single thing except bring our wounds and sin to the loving Great Physician.

    I am choosing to believe that today. I am going to allow God to love me today. I am not going to attempt to earn that love. I am not going to remind myself why I am not worthy. I am going to open my arms and my heart to His love. My feelings ebb and flow. God’s feelings for me are an eternal fountain of grace. Jump in the fountain today. Splash around. Laugh. Rejoice. You are loved. You are cherished. You are adored. You are the child of the King. Live like it today.

    Excerpts taken from Waking Up Slowly – 21 Ways to be More Connected to God and One Another. 

  • Jesus Will Meet You There

    Jesus Will Meet You There

    Being in community with others means you share in their joys and their sorrows. Sometimes the sorrows come in tsunami waves and all you can do is care, pray, and be present. Good and decent people deal with financial, emotional, and physical suffering all around us and it is easy to lose heart. The news seems to be only tragedy and heartbreaking sadness. What can be redeemed of all of this suffering?

    A song called “The Hurt and the Healer” by MercyMe resonated when I first heard it but now that same song touches my heart even more. The lyrics ask the question we all struggle with.

    Why?
    The question that is never far away
    The healing doesn’t come from the explained
    Jesus please don’t let this go in vain

    I can’t explain why things happen. Sometimes it is sin. Sometimes it is simply life. I have learned in my years of following Jesus that He does not let suffering go in vain. I have seen over and over how God redeems sadness and tragedy. He does bring beauty out of ashes. When I cannot see how any good can come out of a trial I trust my Abba Father in faith. Believe me I don’t “feel” that but I can move forward in faith. God has never let me down. And I believe He never will.

    Breathe
    Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do
    Pain so deep that I can hardly move
    Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
    Lord take hold and pull me through

    Most of us have been there at some point. If not, you will be someday. Peter talked about the inevitability of suffering in this life in a passage that we usually leave out of the brochure when we tell others about our faith. All of us who follow Jesus are going to suffer.

    Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world. (1 Peter 4, NLT)

    Count me among the brethren who tried to dance around this truth for as long as I could. Be very glad? Seriously? But when you have nowhere else to turn but to Christ you find out that you should have turned to Him first all along.

    So here I am
    What’s left of me
    Where glory meets my suffering

    I’m alive
    Even though a part of me has died
    You take my heart and breathe it back to life
    I’ve fallen into your arms open wide
    When the hurt and the healer collide

    Jesus meets you there and not in theory. He suffered. He agonized with God the Father. He knows the human condition. He has already been where you are. When the hurt and the Healer collide something amazing happens. The pain may not immediately go away but peace and hope begin to slowly heal the pain. Peter did not end his writing on suffering with the buzz kill of Chapter 4. He wrapped it in a bow of incredible hope in the next chapter.

    In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation. (1 Peter 5, NLT)

    That is a promise that we can hold on to in times of sorrow and suffering. I am trusting that promise this week for myself and my friends who are hurting.

  • One Of The Worst Days Ever

    One Of The Worst Days Ever

    There is much written about Good Friday. The sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the Cross is incomprehensible to my puny human intellect. There is much written about Easter Sunday. Christians around the world rejoice and proclaim that “He is risen!”. But there is not nearly as much written about one of the saddest and most confusing days in history. The Saturday between the Friday horror of Jesus on the Cross and the Sunday mystery of the resurrection. Some churches do observe Holy Saturday but it was never a tradition in my faith upbringing.

    I have been thinking about what that day must have been like for those who dropped everything to follow Jesus. How crushing those events had to be. I imagine the fear they felt that they would also be killed. And for what? On Saturday they feared they had given their careers and their very souls for a false hope.

    I think in particular of Peter. I identify so much with him. Like him I throw down bold statements of loyalty to the Lord and then betray them. Like him I draw attention to my own accomplishments instead of recognizing where my accomplishments come from. Like Peter I am a generally sincere but desperately needy follower of Jesus.

    You know the story about Peter before the arrest and mock trial of Jesus. Jesus tells Peter that he will deny him three times before the rooster crows at dawn. For many years I breezed by the setup to that prediction.

    “Simon (Peter),  Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat. But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.”  (Luke 22, NLT)

    Jesus had already prayerfully pleaded for Peter to be used in a powerful and redemptive way before the failure, shame and repentance that Jesus knew was about to happen. Our sin does not take Jesus by surprise. Why does His grace and forgiveness surprise us?

    Like me, Peter did not hear the tender words of encouragement from the Lord. Nope. He blustered.

    “Lord, I am ready to go to prison with you, and even to die with you.”

    After the arrest of Jesus a suddenly less bold Peter followed the crowd. He denied to a servant girl that he knew Jesus. He denied his alliance to another bystander. The crushing sorrow and shame of what happened next is hard to fathom.

    About an hour later someone else insisted, “This must be one of them, because he is a Galilean, too.”

    But Peter said, “Man, I don’t know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed.

    At that moment the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Suddenly, the Lord’s words flashed through Peter’s mind:“Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.” And Peter left the courtyard, weeping bitterly.

    I imagined what the expression might have been on the face of Jesus when He turned and looked. I suspect it was a look of sadness, compassion and longing to comfort His friend. But what Peter probably saw was only disappointment and failure. Peter’s tears likely flowed until they could no longer flow. I suspect it was hard to even breathe. His heart literally ached within his chest. His mind could not imagine any future hope. I wonder if he thought about running away or even ending it all. I wonder if he could think at all.

    That Saturday was one of the worst days in history and Peter may have felt the pain of that awful day more intensely than anyone. He did not know what would happen the next day. Peter did not yet understand what Jesus had been telling him.

    When Luke recounts that Jesus appeared to the Disciples the only one mentioned by name is Peter. What gives me hope this Easter season is the tender story of Jesus affirming and reinstating Peter to be a leader who would “feed His sheep”. That is the grace that changes a heart.

    I can betray Jesus. Ignore Him. Live selfishly. At some point I once again recognize my desperate need for Jesus to rescue me. For the one millionth time I turn to Him. And what happens? He lifts my shame bowed head and looks deeply into my eyes. He tells me how much He loves me. That is grace. That is real. That is love. Maybe I won’t have a day quite as bad as Peter on that horrible dark Saturday but his story of redemption encourages me this Easter season.

    He is risen! He is risen for me! Jesus is pleading for me that my faith will not fail. What a joyous hope for all of us this Easter.

  • Surviving the Storms of Life

    Surviving the Storms of Life

    Real growth in relationships, faith, and maturity usually doesn’t just happen. It is so simple to blame circumstances or others for our mistakes. Rationalizations for wrong behaviors are frighteningly easy. 

    “Officer, I didn’t mean to speed and break the law. I was just going with the flow of traffic.” Think about that. My defense is that everybody else is breaking the law. Therefore, I am innocent. 

    Since the Garden if Eden the automatic answer to sin and shortcomings is that it is someone else’s fault. That may be true at times. But that thinking will never result in becoming like Jesus. So I have to be intentional about confronting my own heart. Change is hard. Sharing my need to change with others is even harder. 

    Several years ago I took the risk to trust three men with everything about me. We call ourselves the Redwood Brothers based on a unique characteristic of California’s redwood trees. A redwood alone in a forest might look magnificent but the first strong wind could destroy it. You see, the coastal redwoods have shallow root systems and cannot survive a storm alone. Their roots extend over one hundred feet from the base but just broadening the root base is not what makes these beautiful trees capable of surviving the worst storms. They stand strong by intertwining their roots with the roots of other redwoods. The winds are now taking on an entire stand of trees and not a single redwood. No matter how majestic those trees might appear God designed them to need other trees to survive the storms. 

    That is exactly how we are designed. That describes the relationship I have forged with the three other men who gather every year to share weaknesses, fears, and frustrations. We are men who desire to follow Christ faithfully and love our wives and families well. Yet we, too, can have shallow root systems, and we need the strength of one another as we go through strong winds and floods together. Sharing our imperfect journeys in a safe space has resulted in remarkable breakthroughs. We have experienced what my friend John Lynch wrote about in The Cure.

    “What if there was a place so safe that the worst of me could be known, and I would discover that I would not be loved less, but more In the telling of it?” 

    Dropping the pretense and engaging in real conversation about the difficulties of this journey with other honest wayfarers is a real way to become more like Jesus.

    The need for church community is clear. But it’s even more important to look at what Jesus modeled. Jesus knew hundreds of people. He traveled with dozens. He sent out seventy. He discipled twelve. And He invested deeply in three. Jesus’ inner circle consisted of Peter, James, and John. He confided in these three men on a deeper and more profound level than any of the other disciples. I’ve found the same results in my own life. My greatest growth has taken place since I risked trusting a small group of men.

    Legendary professor Howard Hendricks of Dallas Theological Seminary says that every man needs three different types of individuals in his life: a Paul, a Barnabas, and a Timothy. Paul is the older man who will mentor you and offer you his experience. It has been hard for me to find older men these days, but I have been blessed with several over the years. Timothy is the young man whom you build into. But it’s Barnabas whom I track with the most, aptly described by Hendricks.

    A Barnabas is a soul brother, somebody who loves you but is not impressed by you. Somebody to whom you can be accountable. Somebody who’s willing to keep you honest, who’s willing to say, “Hey, man, you’re neglecting your wife, and don’t give me any guff!”

    What a great description of a true friend. Someone who loves you but is not impressed with you. Believe me these men are not impressed with me. But they love me. They want the best for me. They tell me the truth because I trust them with me and I have given them permission to speak truth with grace. I keep emphasizing the grace part. That is how God desires our community to look. I can only receive real love from you to the extent that you know the truth about who I really am.

    We all have blind spots in our hearts. I need a person who loves me enough to gently point them out. 

    I hope you will find the courage to carefully trust someone with everything that is true about you. Maybe it starts with you being that person for someone else, to begin to see how it looks in practice. Finding a friend can be daunting. Being a friend is something that all of us can do. We need each other. I hope you take the risk to be known. I give the last word(s) to Paul and his message to the church on Colossae. Marinate in these thoughts today.

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. 

    Colosssians 3:10-16, NLT

  • Hope Springs Eternal

    Hope Springs Eternal

    For thirty-seven years I spent Baseball’s Opening Day as a television director for Texas Rangers broadcasts. It still seems a bit odd to witness this day from a rocking chair at the old director’s home. I feel like I am just behind Lou Gehrig as the “luckiest man on the face of the earth” to have been able to do that for so many years.

    No matter what your vantage point might be there is no more special day in sports than Opening Day in baseball. It is an annual rite of Spring to post this article on the magic of Opening Day.

    The base lines painstakingly and perfectly defined by a grounds crew that is committed to perfection on this day. Red, white, and blue bunting give the ball park a festive World Series look. The players bounce around like little boys. They seem a little extra grateful that they are paid to play a kid’s game.

    The hot dogs taste like gourmet food. Humphrey Bogard wisely said that “a hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz”. Souvenirs a young fan begs for become treasures to be kept until adulthood. And then it becomes a challenge to explain to your wife why a twenty-five-year old bobble head needs to be in the china cabinet.

    Children skip school and parents do not care because memories are being made for both of them. There is no shot I loved more as a television director than the one of a Dad or Mom pointing to the field and explaining this wonderful game to their child.

    The atmosphere is truly magic. It is Opening Day and every team has hope. Every team is undefeated. Who will be this year’s team that surprises and surpasses all expectations? Each fan has dreams and they are hopefully, or perhaps hopelessly, optimistic. This is a new day and a new season. Old mistakes are forgotten. Past errors are no longer important. Today is the annual renewal of the incredible marathon that is big league baseball. It is a clean slate. The team has a new identity.

    I once longed for such a defining moment in my spiritual journey. It took me a long time to understand that God’s Word tells us that every day is like Opening Day (Dave’s paraphrase). I do have a clean slate because of Christ. There is hope. Yesterday’s sins are forgotten if you have accepted the gift of Jesus on the Cross. Every morning that I awake and see the magic of a new sunrise I know that I am renewed, redeemed and ready to face the day whatever pitches are thrown my way. I don’t have to wait a year to have a chance for renewal. Paul writes that every day holds the spiritual magic of renewal and victory in Christ.

    This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. (I Corinthians 5:17-18, NLT)

    I am grateful that in my spiritual journey God that has given me a chance for “Opening Day” renewal every day of my life. I have had some really bad seasons during my career as a follower of Jesus. But I am learning that every day is a gift.

    The fragile nature of our lives makes the bigger questions so much more important even as I enjoy the hope of Opening Day. Every day of my journey with Jesus can be like this special day in baseball. I can be transformed and new. Past losses (sins) can be redeemed and forgiven. There can be an exhilarating freshness in the journey. I can realize that I am a child of God and I can be grateful that I get to call Him Father. I can believe that my hope for the future is real. I can understand that I can be a better teammate to others that I encounter and not expect my team to be perfect. The magic of a fresh start happens once a year in baseball. It can happen every day for a follower of Jesus when we focus on His amazing Grace.

  • Everywhere I Go…

    Everywhere I Go…

    My book Waking Up Slowly is based on a beautiful Psalm of David. Psalm 139 is one of the most inspiring writings in Scripture. We don’t know when David wrote this stirring account of God’s indescribable attributes. Some believe he wrote it as a shepherd while gazing at the stars and the enormity of the heavens. Some feel he wrote it when he became king over Israel. As a more experienced human being myself (that is PC for old) it certainly feels like David had to have lived a little more life in order to write such a majestic dialog with God. But the truth is we just don’t know.

    David made three observations about the greatness of God.

    1. God knows everything about us.
    2. God is everywhere we are.
    3. God ordains everything about you.

    I think and do a lot of things that I would prefer to keep in Las Vegas mode. But David is saying the idea of a “secret sin” is a fool’s concept. I am known by my Creator and I am pursued by Him.

    Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
        to be out of your sight?
    If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
        If I go underground, you’re there!
    If I flew on morning’s wings
        to the far western horizon,
    You’d find me in a minute—
        you’re already there waiting!  (Psalm 139)

    There are no secrets from God. There is no hiding from God. Our desire to keep those secrets and to hide from His presence results from our lack of understanding of His redemptive love for us. We think God will love us less when we sin. The uniqueness of grace for a follower of Christ is that God already knows everything about you and He loves you exactly the same on your best or worst day.

    Don’t rush past that truth. Read it again.

    God knows everything about you and He loves you exactly the same on both your best or worst day.

    If those statements are true about God then it should change how we go about our daily business. While reflecting on that passage a song came to mind about the constant presence of God in our lives. Tim Timmons performs an upbeat and very catchy song about this wonderful truth. Check it out here and I expect you will play it over and over.

    Everywhere I go on this road, high and low
    Where I go, I go with You
    So I won’t be afraid, this my hope, come what may
    Where I go, I go with You
    Where I go, I go with You
    There’s a Spirit I cannot contain
    There’s a Spirit I cannot contain
    The same power that raised Jesus up from the grave
    The same Spirit I cannot contain

    Meditate on that for a moment. The same power that raised Jesus up from the grave is with me everywhere I go. What an encouraging message to start this week.

  • What Are My Priorities?

    What Are My Priorities?

    I have been doing this church thing for a lot of years. I have sung hundreds of songs over the five decades or so that I have been a follower of Jesus. Some songs have great meaning to me. Some lyrics moved me to deep worship of God. Some times I really meant what I was singing. Other times I was singing through the motions while thinking about lunch and when the kick off was going to happen.

    Sometimes a song would make me really squirm.  One song in that category was recorded by the legendary George Beverly Shea in 1932.  The words were from a poem written by Mrs.Rhea Miller in 1922. Shea recalled the moment.

    At the age of twenty-three, I was living at home with my parents, continuing to work at Mutual Life Insurance and studying voice. Going to the piano one Sunday morning, I found a poem waiting for me there. I recognized my mother’s handwriting. She had copied the words of a poem by Mrs. Rhea F. Miller, knowing that I would read the beautiful message, which speaks of choice. As I read these precious words:

        I’d rather have Jesus than men’s applause.
        I’d rather be faithful to His dear cause.

    I found myself singing the words in a melody that expressed the feelings of my heart.”

    Thanks to Mr.Shea I found myself going through a rather uncomfortable self-examination today.

    I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold;
    I’d rather be His than have riches untold;


    What a timely verse for times like these. As I watch my investment worth dwindle can I really say that I would rather have Jesus than silver or gold? Maybe our economy will make that decision for me.

    What would I have said if I was the young rich man described in Matthew? Here is the text from The Message.

    Another day, a man stopped Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”  Jesus said, “Why do you question me about what’s good? God is the One who is good. If you want to enter the life of God, just do what he tells you.”

     The man asked, “What in particular?”

     Jesus said, “Don’t murder, don’t commit adultery, don’t steal, don’t lie, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as you do yourself.” The young man said, “I’ve done all that. What’s left?”

    His response has always surprised me. That young man thought he was doing just fine. And then Jesus exposed his heart.

     “If you want to give it all you’ve got,” Jesus replied, “go sell your possessions; give everything to the poor. All your wealth will then be in heaven. Then come follow me.”

    That was the last thing the young man expected to hear. And so, crest-fallen, he walked away. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and he couldn’t bear to let go.

    I have held on tight to a lot of things. As I get older I wonder why.

     As he watched him go, Jesus told his disciples, “Do you have any idea how difficult it is for the rich to enter God’s kingdom? Let me tell you, it’s easier to gallop a camel through a needle’s eye than for the rich to enter God’s kingdom.”

     The disciples were staggered. “Then who has any chance at all?”

     Jesus looked hard at them and said, “No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.” 

    That I can do. I can trust God. I have no choice because I have a long and spectacular track record of not being able to live this journey on my own ability. The song continues.

    I’d rather have Jesus than men’s applause;
    I’d rather be faithful to His dear cause;
    I’d rather have Jesus than world-wide fame,
    I’d rather be true to His holy name.

    Given the sales of my books I am pretty safe from the world-wide fame snare. But I do crave men’s applause if I am not careful. 

    He’s all that my hungering spirit needs,
    I’d rather have Jesus and let Him lead. 

    Perhaps the uncertainty in the world will cause all of us to evaluate our dependence on Christ. I hope that I will continue to grow in my desire to echo Paul and his words to the Phillipians.

    “What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.”

    So can I sing the words of this classic hymn and mean it? God’s continuing faithfulness makes it possible.