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The Redwood Forest Holds a Key to Community

My home church challenged me (and I suppose the rest of the congregation) with a thought provoking theme for 2020.

Life On Purpose

Pastor Jeff Denton and the staff at Waterbrook Bible Fellowship will be emphasizing being intentional about the important things in our lives. Real growth in relationships, faith, and maturity usually doesn’t just happen. My default is to go with the flow and the rationalizations for that are frighteningly easy.

“Officer, I didn’t mean to speed and break the law. I was just going with the flow of traffic.” Think about that. My defense is that everybody else is breaking the law. Therefore, I am innocent.

Since the Garden if Eden the automatic answer to sin and shortcomings is that it is someone else’s fault. That may be true at times. But that thinking will never result in becoming like Jesus. So I have to be intentional about confronting my own heart. Change is hard. Sharing my need to change with others is even harder.

Several years ago I took the risk to trust three men with everything about me. We call ourselves the Redwood Brothers based on a unique characteristic of California’s redwood trees. A redwood alone in a forest might look magnificent but the first strong wind could destroy it. You see, the coastal redwoods have shallow root systems and cannot survive a storm alone. Their roots extend over one hundred feet from the base but just broadening the root base is not what makes these beautiful trees capable of surviving the worst storms. They stand strong by intertwining their roots with the roots of other redwoods. The winds are now taking on an entire stand of trees and not a single redwood. No matter how majestic those trees might appear God designed them to need other trees to survive the storms.

That is exactly how we are designed. That describes the relationship I have forged with the three other men who gather every year to share weaknesses, fears, and frustrations. We are men who desire to follow Christ faithfully and love our wives and families well. Yet we, too, can have shallow root systems, and we need the strength of one another as we go through strong winds and floods together. Sharing our imperfect journeys in a safe space has resulted in remarkable breakthroughs. We have experienced what my friend John Lynch wrote about in The Cure.

“What if there was a place so safe that the worst of me could be known, and I would discover that I would not be loved less, but more In the telling of it?”

Dropping the pretense and engaging in real conversation about the difficulties of this journey with other honest wayfarers is a real way to become more like Jesus.

The need for church community is clear. But it’s even more important to look at what Jesus modeled. Jesus knew hundreds of people. He traveled with dozens. He sent out seventy. He discipled twelve. And He invested deeply in three. Jesus’ inner circle consisted of Peter, James, and John. He confided in these three men on a deeper and more profound level than any of the other disciples. I’ve found the same results in my own life. My greatest growth has taken place since I risked trusting a small group of men.

Legendary professor Howard Hendricks of Dallas Theological Seminary says that every man needs three different types of individuals in his life: a Paul, a Barnabas, and a Timothy. Paul is the older man who will mentor you and offer you his experience. It has been hard for me to find older men these days, but I have been blessed with several over the years. Timothy is the young man whom you build into. But it’s Barnabas whom I track with the most, aptly described by Hendricks.

A Barnabas is a soul brother, somebody who loves you but is not impressed by you. Somebody to whom you can be accountable. Somebody who’s willing to keep you honest, who’s willing to say, “Hey, man, you’re neglecting your wife, and don’t give me any guff!”

What a great description of a true friend. Someone who loves you but is not impressed with you. Believe me these men are not impressed with me. But they love me. They want the best for me. They tell me the truth because I trust them with me and I have given them permission to speak truth with grace. I keep emphasizing the grace part. That is how God desires our community to look. I can only receive real love from you to the extent that you know the truth about who I really am.

We all have blind spots in our hearts. I need a person who loves me enough to gently point them out.

I hope you will find the courage to carefully trust someone with everything that is true about you. Maybe it starts with you being that person for someone else, to begin to see how it looks in practice. Finding a friend can be daunting and even paralyzing. Being a friend is something that all of us can do. We need each other. I hope you take the risk to be known. I give the last word(s) to Paul and his message to the church on Colossae. Marinate in these thoughts today.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives.

Colosssians 3:10-16, NLT

Portions of this article from my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace.

January 20, 2020
Don’t Confuse Busyness with Godliness
Regular consumers of the Monday Musings know that I love to use song lyrics as a springboard to spiritual meditations. A song from the country group Alabama hit home during a hectic week.

I’m in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life’s no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I’m in a hurry and don’t know why.

It seems those lyrics describe the norm for many of us. Especially the life’s no fun part when we are crazy busy. Slowing down was a big part of my motivation in writing Waking Up Slowly. Here is an excerpt about the danger of busyness from the book.

Letting our busyness get in the way of our relationship with God shows how out of balance we let our schedules become. Nowhere in Scripture will you find this command.

Be busy and know that I am God.

Our busyness does not please God. Our faith pleases Him. And we can’t have faith and trust in someone we are too busy to know. David wrote this timeless truth in Psalm 46.

Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)

Mark Buchanan puts this into great perspective. “One of the most convicting things I have recently come to realize about Jesus is that He was never, not once, in a hurry.”

Jesus didn’t hurry to the side of Lazarus when He got word that his dear friend was sick. He didn’t feel the need to drive himself to exhaustion to answer questions, teach and preach.

Then, leaving the crowds outside, Jesus went into the house. (Matthew 13:36)

It is instructive that Jesus withdrew from the crowd (and the obligation most of us would have felt) to teach His disciples. The most important thing for Jesus was to prepare His disciples and not to “friend” several hundred people on FaceScroll. Clearly it was valuable for Jesus to be teaching the crowds. But His relationship to His ministry “family” trumped the public gathering priority.

Jesus gave us another example of priorities with time.

Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and head across the lake to Bethsaida, while he sent the people home. After telling everyone good-bye, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. (Mark 6:45-46)

Jesus understood that He must say no to people who really wanted His attention in order to spend time where it mattered most. This passage follows the miraculous feeding of the 5,000. I would have hung around for hours to soak up the praise and accolades. But Jesus knew what He needed in that moment. Time with the Father.

These passages are instructive. We need to know when to say no. I don’t think that these verses are in Scripture as filler. Busyness does not define worth and being a schedule martyr does not make you more godly.

My personal belief is that one of the biggest and most damaging mistakes that the church makes with new believers is not teaching clearly and continually what happens when you put your faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. It seems that we too often get young Christians immediately into studies and activities. We subtly (or in my own experience, not so subtly) program them to believe that growth is about doing more right things. That righteousness somehow requires busyness for Jesus. We imply that change can only happen when you are trying hard and being disciplined for God. The truth is that a dramatic change has already happened when you make that faith commitment to follow Jesus. Let’s just hit the highlights.
- Scripture tells you that you now have a new identity.
- You are literally a new creation.
- You have imputed righteousness of Christ.
That is a nice theological term that simply means that God sees you as righteous because of your relationship with Jesus. That’s it. Nothing you have done or ever will do earns that righteousness. It is a gift of grace.

You are changed completely when you trust Christ. The trick is living out of that truth. I don’t have to grit my teeth, try harder, and be more busy to win favor and please Him. When I trust Him and let God love me I will please Him. My faith and trust is what pleases Him according to God’s Word.

So let’s disabuse ourselves today of the notion that busyness is somehow related to godliness. Follow the example of Jesus and prioritize your schedule for quiet time with God and quality time with the most important people in your life. Life just might become a little more fun!

Learn ways to become more connected to God and others...
January 13, 2020
After Christmas Offer!

For the rest of January you can get a personalized copy of any of my books for yourself, family, or a friend for the regular book price. Go to the online book store, order the book (or books) you are interested in and make sure you note how you want each book personalized in the text box. No need to check the box to have it personalized. Just pay regular book price and let me know how to sign the book.

Personalized books make a great and thoughtful gift for others. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Blessings and grace,

Dave

January 8, 2020
Can I Trust God’s Directions as much as my GPS?

My lovely wife returned from a luncheon engagement with an insight I was more than willing to borrow. “My GPS took me on a path that was completely counter-intuitive to me.” Joni reported. “I even wondered if I had entered the wrong destination. I learned later that there was a major slowdown on the normal route and this strange path got me there on time. The GPS could see things I could not and knew how to get me there. I began to think I do the same thing with God. I wonder about the path He has me on and if He knows how to get me to the place I want to be. But He sees things I cannot and I need to trust Him more.”

I love that metaphor. I think part of the answer is that we fail to recognize how big our God really is. I am going to borrow a bit from my book Waking Up Slowly that addressed that topic.

Psalm 139 is one of the most inspiring Psalms in Scripture. David made three observations about the greatness of God.

God knows everything about us.
God is everywhere we are.
God ordains everything about you.

If those statements are true about God then it should change how we go about our daily business.

The Psalmist writes that God knows my move and every thought. And I was concerned about the government snooping on me!

God, investigate my life;
    get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you;
    even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
    I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
    before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
    then up ahead and you’re there, too—
    your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
    I can’t take it all in!   (Psalm 139:1-6, The Message)

There are no secrets from God. There is no hiding from God. Our desire to keep those secrets and to hide from His presence results from our lack of understanding of His redemptive love for us. We think God will love us less when we sin. The uniqueness of grace for a follower of Christ is that God already knows everything about you and He loves you exactly the same on your best or worst day.

Don’t rush past that truth. Read it again.

God knows everything about you and He loves you exactly the same on both your best or worst day.

We are known by God, We are watched over by God. We are ordained by God. You are not an accident nor am I. You are here for a reason. Henri Nouwen frames it beautifully.

“We seldom realize fully that we are sent to fulfill God-given tasks. We act as if we were simply dropped down in creation and have to decide how to entertain ourselves until we die. But we were sent into the world by God, just as Jesus was. Once we start living our lives with that conviction, we will soon know what we were sent to do.”

Everyday has the potential to do something or learn something that will alter someone’s life and even eternity. What an amazing thought that God can use someone like me for His purpose. I find that a remarkable example of His grace. But I forget that. I often start the day feeling, to quote Rich Mullins, about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. That is a lie from the pit of Hell. I am known, cherished and ordained by God for His purpose. So are you. Every day matters and every moment matters.

A God this amazing that calls us by name can be trusted with a path that may seem counter-intuitive at times. I may not understand His ways but I can always trust them.

January 5, 2020
Losing This Weight Will Make a Big Difference in 2020
Most of us see New Years Day as a fresh start. We make steadfast resolutions of how we are going to do better next year. The reality is that January 1st is just another day. We could just as easily resolve on May 18th or August 3rd that we are going to change how we live. But there is something psychologically powerful about a New Year.

The most cited resolutions generally include things like exercising more, saving more money, getting out of debt, and reading the Bible all the way through without getting bogged down in Leviticus and skipping directly to the Psalms. The most popular resolution year after year is losing weight.

I thought I would be doing a real service if I gave you God’s Weight Loss Plan to take into 2020. This weight loss plan will make you healthier, reduce stress, give you more joy and cause you to grow in your relationship with the Lord. By following this no subscription, no monthly dues plan you can lose the weight of bitterness and anger caused from lack of forgiveness. If you are carrying around an unforgiving spirit it is weighing you down spiritually and emotionally.

This is from a chapter on forgiveness I wrote in “Bring’em Back Alive – A Healing Plan for those Wounded by the Church”.
- Forgiveness is not condoning or diminishing the offense. Forgiving a person who has wronged you does not mean they are “off the hook” for any consequences or judgment that may result from their actions. Forgiveness is a personal act of your will that releases the other person from your condemnation. At that point you have been obedient to what Jesus asks of you, the other person is responsible to God for their response as you trust God to see that justice is dispensed according to His Holy judgment and timing.
- Forgiveness is not forgetting. The old forgive and forget admonition was one of the biggest barriers I faced in my journey to learn how to forgive. You know the old mental challenge to not picture an elephant in the room. You can’t do it. Instantly the image pops into your mind. The more I tried to be spiritually mature and try to forgive and forget the more my offender became the “elephant in the room.” That person or event was all I could think of. Over time you will think less and less of the hurt and/or the one who administered same.Trying to achieve a state of instantaneous forgetfulness is setting yourself up for failure and frustration.
- Forgiveness does not require reconciliation. Certainly it is a worthy goal to have the gift of forgiveness lead to a restoration of a damaged relationship. But it takes two people to reconcile and you have no control over anyone’s response except your own. The other person may not respond graciously. They may not be ready to accept forgiveness or acknowledge their part or even desire to be reconciled. Reconciliation is not required to be obedient to the command of Jesus.
- Forgiveness is an act of the will and is not a response to feelings. We must choose to forgive and trust the Jesus who forgave us to eventually change our feelings. We may not “feel” like forgiveness has transpired. If you decide to wait until you “feel” like forgiving or that the other person must make the first move you will remain spiritually stuck. We have to make the choice and then wait for God to honor the choice. We make a choice to forgive and then we have faith that the Holy Spirit will reshape our feelings over the course of time.
- Forgiveness is not ignoring or excusing the offense. There is nothing to forgive if we have not been wronged. Jesus is not asking us to ignore reality. He is asking us to acknowledge how much we have been forgiven and to extend that gift of grace. It may well be undeserved. So was my forgiveness Jesus bought for me at the Cross. Forgiveness is acknowledging the offense without cover-up or excuse and still choosing to forgive.
- Forgiveness is not denial of the hurt. Pride will often cause us to “not allow the person who hurt us the satisfaction” of knowing we are wounded. That is absurd. Acknowledge the reality of the injury but make the choice to be healed.
- Forgiveness is eliminating revenge as an option. Lewis Smedes makes a brilliant point about revenge. No matter how much we try “we cannot get even; this is the inner fatality of revenge.” When you start trying to get even you have already lost. How many times must I gossip about you to get “even” for the hurt you caused me? When is the scale even? The truth proclaimed by Josh Billings is “there is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.”
- Forgiveness means understanding that hurt is part of the faith tour contract that we signed when we decided to follow Jesus. Author David Stoop notes that, “People choose the Path of Bitterness when they get caught up in trying to understand the reasons for the offense. They think, if only they could understand why the other person did what he or she did, they could get over it and let it go.” I have three words for that approach. Does not work.
The late author Lewis Smedes wrote that only forgiveness can “release us from the grip of our history.” We cannot change an abusive upbringing. We cannot alter dysfunctional theological training that denied grace. We cannot simply deny the hurts that have been visited upon us and be spiritually free. Only forgiveness can release us from the grip of these real and historical events.

Forgiveness is not the cop out of weak people. The reason you need to forgive is that our Designer knew that is the only way for you to be fully healed. You have a Savior who understands the pain of betrayal. That is why Jesus gave up His glory in Heaven to take on flesh.

Is forgiving easy? Of course not. I believe that forgiveness is the single hardest thing that Jesus asks us to do. But He knows how important forgiveness is for own growth. But why would you want to live in anger and carry the extra weight of an unforgiving spirit when Jesus has something better for you? The Apostle Paul’s wrote these words in Colossians.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Col 3, NIV)

That can lighten your load in the New Year. Do you really want to carry the weight of bitterness another day? Jesus wants to help you lose that burden this New Year.
December 30, 2019
Don’t Pack Your Christmas Hope Away

This weekend we finished one of my least favorite tasks of the year. Taking down the Christmas decorations always makes me melancholy. I love Christmas and the message of hope it brings. That God entered human form and gave us hope in a Savior who understands our struggle.

We packed up a treasured Nativity creche that has been a part of our family tradition for decades. That miracle in Bethlehem is where I place my joy as I head into a very unstable New Year. I find my joy in the Messiah, the Lord – who was born in the city of David. It is so easy to remember the reason for hope during Christmas. But now that we are past this wonderful season it is very easy to pack my hope away and unpack lots of worry. The twenty-four news cycle feeds on negativity. Hearing the message of gloom and doom over and over has it’s effect on even the most steadfast believers. Our country is going through a difficult period but you would think the sky has already fallen when you watch the cable news networks. The news reporters peddle fear and I choose not to be paralyzed by it. The angel of the Lord told the shepherds not to be afraid. Jesus talked a lot about fear.

“But don’t be afraid of those who threaten you. For the time is coming when everything that is covered will be revealed, and all that is secret will be made known to all. What I tell you now in the darkness, shout abroad when daybreak comes. What I whisper in your ear, shout from the housetops for all to hear! Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. (Matthew 10 – NLT)

And these words from Jesus could have been in response to the news reporting hysteria we hear nearly every day.

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear. For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing. Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?…Don’t worry about such things. These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.” (Luke 12, NLT)

So I have made some decisions. I don’t make vows because I know I will fall short at some point. Choosing a direction allows me to stumble off course but then get right back on track.

I have decided to direct my time a little differently this year. I want to spend less time watching and reading the news and more time reading and meditating on God’s Word. I want to Bipartisan pray for our leaders in Washington but I am going to trust God to provide my hope. I want to live joyfully in each precious moment that God gives me and not live in paralyzing fear of the future. I agree with C.S. Lewis when he wrote these words. “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.“

I have packed away the decorations for this year but I want to unpack the hope that Christ gives me for every single day in 2020. You can do that too. May you have a joyful New Year in spite of your circumstances. Our hope is in Christ. And that hope is certain.

December 28, 2019
My Christmas Wish For You
Amy Grant recorded “My Grown-up Christmas List” for her “Home For Christmas” album. The lyrics imagine an adult going back to Santa with a different perspective on what matters most in life. Instead of material things the writer now asks for good things for others. I love the sentiment of the song.

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list
“My Grown Up Christmas List”
I thought about my “grown-up” Christmas list this week. I would love for all of the things in the lyric above to come true. But I have lived enough to know they will not. Everyday lives are torn apart. Wars start too frequently. Time does not heal every heart. Some who are reading this are lonely. Right seems to lose way too often and love ends for many.

So what could I wish for that would be available for all? My grown-up Christmas list would have one simple wish. That every person would truly understand the outrageous grace gift that God offers to each one of us. All we have to do is open that gift in faith. Christmas is when the gift came to earth wrapped in swaddling clothes.

I wish that everyone who hears the Gospel message would comprehend the one way love that God demonstrated. Instead of turning His back on sinners who deserved just that God chose to reach out to His creation with a radical plan for forgiveness. A plan that is unlike any other religion in history. Man made religion always demands something to earn salvation. God’s plan for redemption requires the lost to bring nothing to the table other than their sin and the need for salvation. Nothing.

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (Ephesians 2:8-9, NLT)

Not a single requirement other than believing. A gift of grace. Grace that is so vast and inexhaustible that no sin or sinner can exceed the scope of this amazing grace to cover their sin and redeem them. I coined an acronym for grace that only partially captures the enormity of God’s love.

God’s Radical And Complete Embrace.

God initiates salvation. The plan is so radical that it feels otherworldly. Salvation is complete and God’s embrace shows His desire to know us as His beloved children.

I wish that everyone who believes the Gospel would truly believe that they are a brand new creation. Recreated as a saint with complete freedom in Christ. Adopted as a child of God. Forgiven forever. And that all of those things are completely true because of Jesus.

I wish I could give those things to everyone on my list. Life will give us sadness, loss and loneliness but trust in Jesus gives us hope in the darkest storm. It started with the baby we celebrate at Christmas.
December 24, 2019