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Rich Mullins is one of my favorite Christian songwriters. It seems impossible that it has been 19 years since he was killed in a car accident. His music is still all over my iTunes and one of his songs is the subject of the Monday Musing.

“We Are Not As Strong As We Think We Are” opens with this stanza.

Well, it took the hand of God Almighty
To part the waters of the sea
But it only took one little lie
To separate you and me
Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are.

If only we could acknowledge that we are not as strong as we think we are and then live accordingly I believe we would see an amazing difference. We need God and community to be spiritually and emotionally healthy. Yet pride tells me that I am able to handle the situation. Fear tells me that telling the truth in love will only make it worse. So one little lie or misunderstanding dealt with in my own strength negates the strength of a God who could part the waters of the seas and could no doubt heal my pain. If I let Him.

I remember when a major food company recalled thousands of chili cans that were tainted with deadly toxins. A later follow-up to that story told about cans of chili exploding as the pressure built up inside the containers.
That is a messy and disgusting metaphor for how we deal with the internal toxins of gossip, slander and hurt. We seal them up and store them away hoping it will somehow be okay. But the toxins of gossip and slander have not been killed, only compartmentalized. The pain continues to grow, slowly and inexorably. Finally the pressure builds to the point of explosion. There is a better way.

James wrote these words to the early church:

It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. (James 3:6, The Message)

James doesn’t pull any punches, does he? One good way to cling to unity is by not believing the gossip that is spread about our fellow Christians. And we certainly shouldn’t spread it any further. Gossip is a parasite that requires a host organism to survive; don’t give gossip a place to live. Think of how many times you have believed something to be true only to find out the information was mostly or even totally wrong. The threat of a libel or slander lawsuit causes some us to be cautious in our written remarks about others. But we’re not so careful about discussing our brothers and sisters in Christ. We need to give them the grace that we would hope for if the roles were reversed.

God is serious about how we communicate about others in the flock. Peter writes:

Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing. (1 Peter 3:8-9, The Message)

So there is an added bonus for your godly communication: a blessing at no extra charge. Rich Mullin’s wrote this in the chorus of the song.

We are frail
We are fearfully and wonderfully made
Forged in the fires of human passion
Choking on the fumes of selfish rage
And with these our hells and our heavens
So few inches apart
We must be awfully small
And not as strong as we think we are.

No, we are not as strong as we think we are. Rich Mullins wrote another song that you probably know.

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God.

We need to acknowledge that He is God and we are not. That He reigns with wisdom, power, and love. We need to leave our pride at the altar and depend on His grace and strength. And we need to not be deceived about this simple truth. We are not as strong as we THINK we are.

(There was no time to muse for this Monday so I am offering a gently read post from the past)

Some of the theologians I encountered did not seem like anyone I would actually want to be around on purpose. I made the crack that some theologians were to joy in Christ what nutritionists were to enjoying cheesecake. They both took something full of delight and made you feel mostly bad about it.

Yet something is changing in my life. I am really seeing the need for a solid theological basis for what I believe.

All of this came to mind when Sam Cooke’s classic Wonderful World popped up in my iTunes. You know the one where Sam builds a strong case for academic slacking actually being a strength.

Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Don’t know much about the french I took

But I do know that I love you
And I know that if you love me too
What a wonderful world this would be

I wrote an ode (cross off “Bucket List” Item Number 87 –  use Ode in a sentence) using that classic tune to describe our lack of theological depth. This classic appears in my book  When Bad Christians Happen to Good People.

For the music director. A psalm of parody sung to Sam Cooke’s Wonderful World. All rise.

Don’t know much about theology,
Don’t know much Christology.
Don’t know much about Leviticus,
Don’t know why they had the Exodus.
But I do know that God loves you,
And I’m trying hard to be good too.
What a wonderful faith this would be.

Well, I don’t claim to be a good Christian,
But I’m trying to be.
For maybe by bein’ a good person, brother,
I can gain eternity.

(Everyone now…)

Don’t know much about the Pharisees,
Can’t explain the Trinity.
Don’t know much ecclesiology
Don’t know what a good tithe should be.
But I think that God forgives my quirks,
And I figure if I do good works,
What a wonderful faith this would be.

Humorous? I hope so. But the problem is not so funny. What do we believe? And why? I think one of the fundamental problems in many churches is that we do not effectively connect the theological dots of justification, imputed righteousness, propitiation, identity in Christ, sanctification and other assorted church words. Remember the connect the dots books you had as a kid? When you connect the theological dots the picture revealed is Jesus.

Now I find myself neck deep in theology. Trying to learn more to be able to make a defense of the Gospel of Jesus. I want to understand church history and doctrine. I want to understand grace and more importantly I want to live it. I have a long, long, long way to go but someday I hope that the scouting report on me will reflect the summary of Jesus written in the first chapter of the Gospel of John. Jesus was beautifully described as being “full of grace and truth”. That would be a dramatic shift from what I have been described as being full of at other points in my journey. I am excited about continuing to refine my theological base but I want to always be mindful that truth preached without grace is not received nearly as well as the reverse approach. Connect the dots. The picture is beautiful.

Recently a song came up on the iTunes shuffle from a a group called Undisputed Truth.

Smiling Faces Sometimes was originally recorded by the Temptations but the version released by Undisputed Truth in 1971 became the number 3 song that year.

Here are the opening lyrics from that song…

Smiling faces sometimes pretend to be your friend
Smiling faces show no traces of the evil that lurks within
Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
They don’t tell the truth uh
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof

After the publication of When Bad Christians Happen to Good People  I received hundreds of letters (okay…emails and blog responses) from wounded Christians who could have started their notes with those lyrics. They have been hurt and betrayed by other churchgoers, often with smiling faces. I try to encourage them. I remind them that we are all sinners in need of His grace. I ask them to look to Jesus. I try to communicate that I have felt and do feel the pain that they are experiencing. But every time I hit send I am saddened that this happens in the body of Christ. Sometimes I am downright (ticked) off that any of us allow our agenda and self-absorption to overpower the awe inspiring gift of grace that brought us together in the first place. Not many things seemed to tick off Jesus more than hypocrites. Listen to these comments directed to the religious leaders.

“How terrible it will be for you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! You are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy–full of greed and self-indulgence! Blind Pharisees! First wash the inside of the cup, and then the outside will become clean, too.

 “How terrible it will be for you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs–beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. You try to look like upright people outwardly, but inside your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.

 “Snakes! Sons of vipers! How will you escape the judgment of hell?

Does that sound like the happy, happy Jesus that we like to portray? In a handful of verses He called the self-righteous leaders hypocrites, lawless, filthy inside, and sons of vipers. Ouch. Jesus was righteously furious. And He was furious over phony faith. Compare His tender response to repentant sinners. It is clear that Jesus wants honest hearts and maybe, just maybe, that is why He preferred to hang out with the not so self-righteous.

Tax collectors and other notorious sinners often came to listen to Jesus teach. This made the Pharisees and teachers of religious law complain that he was associating with such despicable people–even eating with them!  (Luke 15,  NLT)

Oh no!!! Eating with sinners! And yet I still see that ugly scenario playing out today. We find safety in surrounding ourselves with others just like us. The lifestyles of the lost and not so famous are uncomfortable to us. So we take the safe route. I think Jesus loved being with the “sinners” because they recognized their condition and need. They offered no excuses. They were eager to hear how this remarkable teacher would address that condition.

Just like the pharisees I can clean up the outside real purty. But God knows what lies beneath. It is scary and painful and ugly to allow the Holy Spirit to start cleaning out the dirt, the dead bones, and everything unclean. But we will never experience God the way He desires to relate to us unless we are willing to trust God and others with who we really are. Frankly I don’t see the point of being a Sunday Christian. If this is real we need to pursue it seven days a week. The hardest truth I have had to admit as a husband, father, follower of Jesus is that I make time for those things that are a priority to me. There can be short time diversions for work or circumstance. But over the weeks and months how I spend my time and how I live my life reveals my heart. That is a hard truth.

Our iTune selection goes on…

Your enemy won’t do you no harm
Cause you’ll know where he’s coming from
Don’t let the handshake and the smile fool ya
Take my advice I’m only try’ to school ya

Isn’t that what hurts us so much when someone in the church does the wounding? We don’t expect it. We are not prepared at all to get sucker punched by a family member. But it happens in the church. Smiling faces do sometimes tell lies. Smiling churchgoers sometimes do great damage. But there is another possibility.

Smiling faces that love others like Jesus and demonstrate the grace we experience can still change this world. I have seen it. And, in my heart, that is still undisputed truth.

A few years ago the lovely Mrs. Burchett and I had the joy of watching Ricky Skaggs and Kentucky Thunder in concert. I have decided that if am ever unresponsive you can check my heart status by playing a Ricky Skaggs album. If my toe doesn’t start tapping I am likely flat-lined. You just can’t help responding if you have a pulse.

Recently one of his tunes cycled up and brought back memories of something my Mom always said to me. The song that jogged that recollection was called Don’t Get Above Your Raisin’.

Now lookee here gal don’t ya’ high hat me,
I ain’t forgot what you used ta be
When you didn’t have nuthin,
That was plain ta’ see.
Don’t get above your raisin’
Stay down ta’ earth with me.

Mom was raised as a farm girl in Kentucky and she was fiercely proud of that. So anytime she perceived that I was getting a bit uppity and full of myself she would throw that line down.

“Don’t get above your raisin’.”

Sometimes it was over such important issues as abandoning Maxwell House for that fancy-schmancy gourmet brew. Usually the comment was meant to keep me grounded (no pun intended for once) and to remind me where I came from. Can’t say that I always appreciated the input.

I think we do the same thing as Christians. A big reason that we are not more joyful and victorious in this journey is that we forget where we came from and the grace given to us. We have forgotten our raisin’ and the gift of our salvation. Somehow we forget how desperate we were and start to believe that we were actually deserving. You know, God is pretty fortunate to have me on board. Paul reminds Titus to tell the believers in Crete to remember where they came from…

Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. (Titus 3, NLT)

Not too attractive. Nothing to be uppity about. Then the grace of God intervened.

But—“When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, He saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.”

So that is where I came from. That is where you came from if you are a follower of Jesus. Paul wraps ups this text with a challenge.

This is a trustworthy saying, and I want you to insist on these teachings so that all who trust in God will devote themselves to doing good. These teachings are good and beneficial for everyone.

My constant challenge is to not get above my raisin’ spiritually.

• If I can’t forgive then I have forgotten where I came from. I did not deserve to be forgiven by a Holy God. I was.
• When I look with disdain at another person I have forgotten where I came from. That person is a soul that Jesus came to this planet to die for on the Cross and offers them the opportunity to accept that act through faith.
• When I don’t accept another brother or sister I have forgotten that I was unacceptable to a Holy God. Jesus said you are acceptable because of His finished work. We must offer the same grace because of Jesus.
• When I can’t serve without expectation of personal return I have forgotten where I came from. If I remember where I came from I will serve because I am grateful for what Christ did for me.
• When I don’t give joyfully of my time and treasure I have forgotten where I came from. If you truly understand where you came from the natural response is to serve Him joyfully.

This is important stuff. I don’t want to forget where I came from both as a person and as a child of God. My small town roots are a big part of who I am. And my encounter with grace at the foot of the Cross defines who I am spiritually. I pray that I will remember every day who I am and where Jesus brought me from. Take time to remember where you came from. And then respond appropriately.

We have been outlining God’s Guaranteed Weight Loss Plan. With this plan you can begin to lose the weight of bitterness and anger caused from lack of forgiveness. If you are carrying around an unforgiving spirit it is weighing you down spiritually and emotionally. I know from sad personal experience. Part one and two set the stage and today we wrap up the list.

Fact 7: Forgiveness is not denial of the hurt.

Pride will often cause us to “not allow the person who hurt us the satisfaction” of knowing we are wounded. That is absurd. Acknowledge the reality of the injury, but make the choice to be healed.

Fact 8: Forgiveness eliminates revenge as an option.

The late author Lewis Smedes makes a brilliant point about revenge. No matter how much we try “we cannot get even; this is the inner fatality of revenge.” When we start trying to get even, we have lost. How many times must I gossip about you to get “even” for the hurt you caused me? When is the scale even? Or do I need to have the scale tip a bit toward me to be satisfied? What a self-defeating pursuit that becomes! And the truth proclaimed by author Josh Billings is “there is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.”

Fact 9: Forgiveness lets go of the need to know why.

Forgiving hurt without explanation is part of the faith-tour contract we signed when we decided to follow Jesus. Author David Stoop notes that, “People choose the Path of Bitterness when they get caught up in trying to understand the reasons for the offense. They think, if only they could understand why the other person did what he or she did, they could get over it and let it go.” I have three words for that approach: does not work.

Fact 10: Forgiveness lets go of the need to be right.

Forgiveness requires humility. We can be 100 percent right about an issue and lose every relationship around us in the process. Or we can be just as right but exercise grace and humility and not leave a trail of battered sheep in the dust.

Fact 11: Forgiveness requires praying blessings on those who have wounded us.

Begin to bless and wish good things for those who hurt us. This may be my least favorite requirement. But Jesus said:
“When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person.” (Luke 6:28, The Message)

I do not like to do this. The last thing I feel like doing is praying for the people who hurt me. But here’s a secret: Praying for our enemies changes our attitude about them. When I was a kid I was a voracious reader of comic books (certainly one factor that explains my intellectual prowess). One of the advertisements that captivated me while reading those volumes was the little ad in the back of the comic book for the Incredible X-Ray Glasses. With these amazing glasses I imagined that I could see through walls. I will confess that not all of my intentions for the glasses were pure. But I was sure that with the X-ray glasses I could see people in a way I never had seen them before. I would suggest that is how forgiveness works. We put on the glasses of gratitude and grace and we see people who hurt us not as the enemy but as weak, fallible, needy people just like us. We see through their outer garments of pride and confusion and see the naked truth of sin. They are people who needed forgiveness (just like me) and perhaps have not reached the point in God’s timing to be able to administer forgiveness (just like me a lot of the time). They are sinners saved by grace…just like me and you. A key component of forgiveness is to not make the other person evil. Most people who inflict hurt are not evil people. They are fallible and fearful people just like me, and to demonize them would have made forgiveness impossible.

Paul wrote in the Book of Romans that we should bless our enemies. The word “bless” can be translated to mean “to speak well of.” Now, Paul understands life in the trenches. He knows that we can smile that tight-lipped smile and say polite things about those who hurt us and be murmuring out the side of our mouth. So he throws the big punch right after the semi-colon.

Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. (Romans 12:14, The Message)

Blessing our adversaries messes with their minds, so at least we get that satisfaction. As Abe Lincoln sagely asked, “Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?” The Christian paraphrase is: The best way to destroy your enemy is to bless him in prayer. One of my favorite quotes relating to this issue comes from Pastor R. G. Lee. “Men may spurn our appeals, reject our message, oppose our arguments, despise our persons; but they are helpless against our prayers.”

General Robert E. Lee was asked what he thought about a fellow officer. The man in question had been most unkind in his remarks about Lee, yet the general rated him as being “very satisfactory.” The person confronting Lee was astounded. “General,” he chided, “I guess you don’t know what he’s been saying about you.” “I know,” Lee responded, “But I was asked my opinion of him, not his opinion of me.” That, my friend, is the grace of God in action.

Fact 12: Forgiveness allows you to be selfish.

Say what? I have heard bitterness described as drinking rat poison and hoping the other person dies. Who wants that? I also appreciate the insight of author Hannah More when she writes, “Forgiveness is the economy of the heart…. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.” When we follow the directive of Jesus and forgive, we are free to concentrate on the blessings in your life.

Lewis Smedes wrote powerfully about forgiveness. He often said only forgiveness can “release us from the grip of our history.” We cannot change an abusive upbringing. We cannot alter dysfunctional theological training that denied grace. We cannot simply deny the hurts that have been visited upon us and be spiritually free. Only forgiveness can release us from the grip of these real and historical events. And that forgiveness will drop the weight of bitterness and anger. If you only keep one resolution make forgiveness the one you keep in 2016.

Excerpted from Bring’em Back Alive: A Healing Plan for Those Wounded by the Church.

Yesterday I started discussing God’s Guaranteed Weight Loss Plan. With this plan you can lose the weight of bitterness and anger caused from lack of forgiveness. If you are carrying around an unforgiving spirit it is weighing you down spiritually and emotionally. Part one set the stage. For the next two days we will look at some things I have learned (usually the painful way) about forgiveness.

Fact 1: Our ability to forgive is rooted in the depth of our gratitude.

The foundation of forgiveness is our gratitude for the undeserved forgiveness we have received through Christ. Take some time to meditate about how much you have been forgiven. In the gospel of Luke we read about a sinful woman who washes Jesus feet with her tears and dries them with her hair.

Jesus said, “Impressive, isn’t it? She was forgiven many, many sins, and so she is very, very grateful. If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal.” (Luke 7:47)

Phillip Yancey wrote about how Jesus always demonstrated forgiveness to the hurting. “I can’t help noticing the tenderness with which Jesus treated people with wounds caused by moral failure. A Samaritan woman with five failed marriages, a dishonest tax collector, an adulteress, a prostitute, a disciple who denied Him-all these received from Jesus forgiveness and reinstatement, not the judgment they deserved. Jesus saw in people not what they had been but what they could be, not their past but their future.” Christ has extended the same forgiveness toward us. It is an awesome act of grace that should make us overflow with a gratitude that influences our willingness to forgive others.

Fact 2: Forgiveness is an act of trusting God for justice.

Forgiving is not the same condoning or diminishing an offense. Forgiving a person who has wronged you does not mean they are “off the hook” for any consequences or judgment that may result from their actions. Forgiveness is a personal act of your will that releases the other person from your condemnation. That is all Jesus asks of you; the offender is still responsible to God for the rest. By extending forgiveness you are not saying the offense was insignificant or unimportant. You are saying that you trust God to see that justice is dispensed according to His Holy judgment and timing rather than yours.

Fact 3: Forgiveness does not require amnesia.

Forgiveness is not forgetting. The old “forgive and forget” admonition was one of the biggest barriers I faced in my journey to learn how to forgive. You know the old mental challenge: Try not to picture an elephant in the room. You can’t do it. Instantly the image pops into your mind. The more I tried to be spiritually mature by forgiving and forgetting, the more my offender became an elephant in the room. That person or event was all I could think of. In time, if you entrust your need for justice for God, you will think less and less of the hurt the offense. C. S. Lewis wrote to a friend late in his life. “Dear Mary…Do you know, only a few weeks ago, I realized suddenly that I had at last forgiven the cruel schoolmaster who so darkened my childhood. I had been trying to do it for years.” To try to achieve a state of forgetfulness is to set yourself up for failure and frustration.

I must add, however, that while it is impossible to instantly forget we cannot to use past hurts as hammers against others. A man was complaining about his wife to his buddy. “Whenever we get in a fight she gets historical.” His friend corrected him, “You mean hysterical.” He said, “Nope, historical. She dredges up my past and reminds me of every thing I’ve done wrong in our marriage.” You may not forget the offense, but you can choose not to hold it against that person. Don’t get historical.

Fact 4: Forgiveness does not require reunion.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same. Certainly it is a worthy goal to have the gift of forgiveness lead to the restoration of a damaged relationship. But it takes two people to reconcile, and you have no control over anyone’s response except your own. Your offender may not respond graciously to your forgiveness. He or she may not be ready to acknowledge their part in the offense, accept forgiveness, or desire to be reconciled. Again, all that is required of you is to extend the grace of forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness is an overflow of gratitude for how much we have been forgiven. If I put on a mournful face and declare that I will forgive my brother “because someone has to be mature and take the bullet,” well, that is not quite what Jesus had in mind. Puffing myself up with the false humility of martyrdom (e.g., heavy sigh…I guess I have to be the “Christian” here) is not “forgiveness.” That cannot restore me to my brother or to my Lord.

Fact 5: Forgiveness is an act of the will.

It is not a response to feelings. Forgiveness requires choice and faith, just like every miracle. If we decide to wait until we “feel” like forgiving (or worse, wait until the other person makes the first move) we will remain spiritually stuck. We must choose to forgive, and to trust God to eventually change our feelings. The Holy Spirit will reshape our feelings over the course of time.

Fact 6: Forgiveness does not mean you do not acknowledge the offense.

Jesus is not asking us to ignore reality. After all, if we have not been wronged, there is nothing to forgive. He is asking us to acknowledge how much we have been forgiven and to extend the same courtesy to others. Forgiveness is acknowledging the offense without cover-up or excuse and still choosing to forgive.

The rest of the forgiveness thoughts are coming on Part 3 of God’s Weight Loss Plan.

Excerpted from Bring’em Back Alive: A Healing Plan for Those Wounded by the Church.