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Most of us see New Years Day as a fresh start. We make steadfast resolutions of how we are going to do better next year. The reality is that January 1st is just another day. We could just as easily resolve on May 18th or August 3rd that we are going to change how we live. But there is something psychologically powerful about a New Year.

The most cited resolutions generally include things like exercising more, saving more money, getting out of debt, and reading the Bible all the way through without getting bogged down in Leviticus and skipping directly to the Psalms. The most popular resolution year after year is losing weight.

I thought I would be doing a real service if I gave you God’s Weight Loss Plan to take into 2016. This weight loss plan will make you healthier, reduce stress, give you more joy and cause you to grow in your relationship with the Lord. By following this no subscription, no monthly dues plan you can lose the weight of bitterness and anger caused from lack of forgiveness. If you are carrying around an unforgiving spirit it is weighing you down spiritually and emotionally.

This is from a chapter on forgiveness I wrote in “Bring’em Back Alive – A Healing Plan for those Wounded by the Church”.

• Forgiveness is not condoning or diminishing the offense. Forgiving a person who has wronged you does not mean they are “off the hook” for any consequences or judgment that may result from their actions. Forgiveness is a personal act of your will that releases the other person from your condemnation. At that point you have been obedient to what Jesus asks of you, the other person is responsible to God for their response as you trust God to see that justice is dispensed according to His Holy judgment and timing.
• Forgiveness is not forgetting. The old forgive and forget admonition was one of the biggest barriers I faced in my journey to learn how to forgive. You know the old mental challenge to not picture an elephant in the room. You can’t do it. Instantly the image pops into your mind. The more I tried to be spiritually mature and try to forgive and forget the more my offender became the “elephant in the room.” That person or event was all I could think of. Over time you will think less and less of the hurt and/or the one who administered same.Trying to achieve a state of instantaneous forgetfulness is setting yourself up for failure and frustration.
• Forgiveness does not require reconciliation. Certainly it is a worthy goal to have the gift of forgiveness lead to a restoration of a damaged relationship. But it takes two people to reconcile and you have no control over anyone’s response except your own. The other person may not respond graciously. They may not be ready to accept forgiveness or acknowledge their part or even desire to be reconciled. Reconciliation is not required to be obedient to the command of Jesus.
• Forgiveness is an act of the will and is not a response to feelings. We must choose to forgive and trust the Jesus who forgave us to eventually change our feelings. We may not “feel” like forgiveness has transpired. If you decide to wait until you “feel” like forgiving or that the other person must make the first move you will remain spiritually stuck. We have to make the choice and then wait for God to honor the choice. We make a choice to forgive and then we have faith that the Holy Spirit will reshape our feelings over the course of time.
• Forgiveness is not ignoring or excusing the offense. There is nothing to forgive if we have not been wronged. Jesus is not asking us to ignore reality. He is asking us to acknowledge how much we have been forgiven and to extend that gift of grace. It may well be undeserved. So was my forgiveness Jesus bought for me at the Cross. Forgiveness is acknowledging the offense without cover-up or excuse and still choosing to forgive.
• Forgiveness is not denial of the hurt. Pride will often cause us to “not allow the person who hurt us the satisfaction” of knowing we are wounded. That is absurd. Acknowledge the reality of the injury but make the choice to be healed.
• Forgiveness is eliminating revenge as an option. Lewis Smedes makes a brilliant point about revenge. No matter how much we try “we cannot get even; this is the inner fatality of revenge.” When you start trying to get even you have already lost. How many times must I gossip about you to get “even” for the hurt you caused me? When is the scale even? The truth proclaimed by Josh Billings is “there is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.”
• Forgiveness means understanding that hurt is part of the faith tour contract that we signed when we decided to follow Jesus. Author David Stoop notes that, “People choose the Path of Bitterness when they get caught up in trying to understand the reasons for the offense. They think, if only they could understand why the other person did what he or she did, they could get over it and let it go.” I have three words for that approach. Does not work.

The late author Lewis Smedes wrote that only forgiveness can “release us from the grip of our history.” We cannot change an abusive upbringing. We cannot alter dysfunctional theological training that denied grace. We cannot simply deny the hurts that have been visited upon us and be spiritually free. Only forgiveness can release us from the grip of these real and historical events.

Forgiveness is not the cop out of weak people. The reason you need to forgive is that our Designer knew that is the only way for you to be fully healed. You have a Savior who understands the pain of betrayal. That is why Jesus gave up His glory in Heaven to take on flesh.

Is forgiving easy? Of course not. I believe that forgiveness is the single hardest thing that Jesus asks us to do. But He knows how important forgiveness is for own growth. But why would you want to live in anger and carry the extra weight of an unforgiving spirit when Jesus has something better for you? The Apostle Paul’s wrote these words in Colossians.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Col 3, NIV)

That can lighten your load in the New Year.

I love Dave Barry. As long as he is alive I will not have the weirdest brain on the planet. Here is his take on the secularizing of Christmas greetings.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it “Christmas” and went to church; the Jews called it “Hanukkah” and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say “Merry Christmas!” or “Happy Hanukkah!”or (to the atheists) “Look out for the wall!”

 These days, people say “Season’s Greetings,” which, when you think about it, means nothing. It’s like walking up to somebody and saying “Appropriate Remark” in a loud, cheerful voice. But “Season’s Greetings” is safer, because it does not refer to any actual religion. Some day, I imagine, even “Season’s Greetings” will be considered too religious, and we’ll celebrate the Holiday Season by saying “Have a nice day.”

There is a lot of humor and an uncomfortable amount of truth in those paragraphs. And while I might be attending the mall of my choice with my beloved today this is also a deeply religious time for me. For me this is a time to celebrate and marvel at the concept of God becoming man. The past two posts have offered some gift ideas to give Jesus on His upcoming birthday. It is an odd concept indeed that we generally give Christmas gifts to everyone but the one who is having a birthday. So if you are a late arriver we have been looking at the gifts of the Magi (wisemen) to see if we can get some last minute ideas. The first gift was gold and the second gift was frankincense. The third gift given by the magi to Christ child was myrrh.

Myrrh is an aromatic gum produced from a thorn bush and it is obtained in the same manner as frankincense. The bush is gashed and the resin bleeds out and is collected. However, if frankincense represents sweetness, myrrh represents bitterness, at least to the taste. Myrrh was used chiefly in embalming the dead, (John 19:39) Nicodemus brought Myrrh and aloes to wrap the body of Jesus.

Myrrh was a commodity of great value for early commerce.

As they sat down to eat their meal, they looked up and saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead. Their camels were loaded \with spices, balm and myrrh, and they were on their way to take them down to Egypt. (Genesis 37:25)

The Psalms tell us that myrrh was a valued perfume.

All your robes are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia;
from palaces adorned with ivory
the music of the strings makes you glad.  .(Psalms 45:8).

Myrrh kept its fragrance for several hundred years when stored in an alabaster pot. Myrrh also had medicinal qualities, sometimes mingled with wine to form a painkilling drink. That was offered to Jesus on the cross to ease His suffering.

Then they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it. (Mark 15:23)

So the Magi brought myrrh as a gift of great value but also as a foreshadowing of the human suffering that Jesus took upon Himself when He came into our world. So what can we give to Jesus in response to His willingness and love to take on suffering and death on our behalf? How about giving the gift of being willing to die to our self…our selfish desires…our own agenda? It is a daily choice that followers of Jesus make to live like that. We ought to consider others as more important than ourselves (see Rom. 12:10). We can’t do that unless we first learn to die to ourselves. The Message has an interesting take on Colossions 3.

So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ–that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective. Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life–even though invisible to spectators–is with Christ in God. He is your life.

Jesus is my life. And I want to be serious about living this resurrection life in 2015 and beyond. During the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season I need to take time to remember that. So let’s review our potential shopping list for Jesus on His birthday. Perhaps you would like to give Jesus the gift of more time with Him.  How about the gift of really believing that Jesus is Lord over all…not Lord over what you and I select? Perhaps you are ready to take the faith step of being willing and ready to die to your desires so that you can serve the needs of others.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!  He gave us a gift that we cannot repay when He surprised earth by bringing Heaven to this planet on Christmas Day. So it seems appropriate to wrap a little something for Jesus and present it to Him this year.

Merry Christmas!

One of my favorite Christmas stories happened during the horrors of war. The Christmas carol “Silent Night” was responsible for a wartime Christmas truce.

The year was 1914 and soldiers were having to spend Christmas Eve night on the battlefields of France during World War I, the Great War, as it was called. After only four months of fighting, more than a million men had already perished in the bloody conflict. The bodies of dead soldiers were scattered between the trenches. Enemy troops were dug-in so close that they could easily exchange shouts.

On December 24, 1914, in the middle of a freezing battlefield in France, a miracle happened. The British troops watched in amazement as candle-lit Christmas trees began to appear above the German trenches. The glowing trees soon appeared along the length of the German front.

Henry Williamson, a young soldier with the London Regiment wrote in his diary: “From the German parapet, a rich baritone voice had begun to sing a song I remembered my German nurse singing to me…. The grave and tender voice rose out of the frozen mist. It was all so strange… like being in another world — to which one had come through a nightmare.”

Silent Night
Holy Night
All is calm
All is quiet

“They finished their carol and we thought that we ought to retaliate,” another British soldier wrote, “So we sang “The First Noël” and when we finished, they all began clapping. And they struck up “O Tannebaum” and on it went… until we started up “O Come All Ye Faithful” [and] the Germans immediately joined in …. this was really a most extraordinary thing — two nations both singing the same carol in the middle of a war.”

It is recorded that enemy soldiers greeted each other in the no man’s land that was a killing zone the day before.

The soldiers wished each other Merry Christmas and agreed not to fire their rifles on Christmas Day. The spontaneous cease-fire eventually embraced much of a 500-mile stretch of the Western Front. According to the reports of soldiers at the scene, hundreds of thousands of soldiers celebrated the birth of the Prince of Peace among the bodies of their dead.

Other soldiers told of how the “enemies” exchanged badges and buttons from their uniforms. Others shared photos of wives and children and some even exchanged addresses and promised to write after the war ended. The German troops rolled out barrels of dark beer and the British reciprocated with offerings of plum pudding. Some soldiers produced soccer balls and a spirited match broke out as fellow soldiers shouted encouragement.

At one location along the front the men who just the day before sought to kill one another now gathered together to bury their dead. Together, with heads uncovered, they held a service to memorialize their fallen comrades. A solitary voice began to sing Silent Night, in French. He was joined by another voice — this one singing in German — the words of a Christmas song known and beloved by all.

But the miracle of peace was temporary. Slowly, under threats from their officers, the troops returned to the trenches and the recoils of rifles split the temporary “Silent Night.” Some soldiers admitted aiming so their bullets flew well above the heads of the “enemy.”

Perhaps those of us who celebrate the birth of the Savior could learn a lesson from this Christmas miracle as we engage those who do not share our beliefs and faith in Jesus. Those on the other side of the cultural trenches are not unlike us. The message delivered in Bethlehem was peace and goodwill toward all men. When we fight the cultural war we need remember that the whole purpose of Jesus invading our space and time was to love and ultimately die for those on both sides of the battle.

But perhaps the biggest lesson is how the power of a unified focus on Jesus can unite even bitter enemies. My heart aches as I see Christians splitting ranks over things that don’t amount to a hill of beans on an eternal scale. I picture Jesus weeping over the churches of America like He wept over Jerusalem. I picture Him weeping over how Christians in this country divide over non-essentials and fail to communicate the joy and life-changing power of the Good News of the gospel. Jesus gave this final command to His followers…

“Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.”  (Matthew 28,  The Message)

Pretty straight forward. Nothing in there about personal gain, power, or prestige. The power of what happened on that Silent Night united enemies centuries later on a French battlefield.  My Christmas prayer is that the miracle of God becoming man will unite you and me, His followers, to seek what actually matters. To really make it about Christ and not about us this Christmas and into the New Year. While we still have the chance.

If I could have one wish for those of you who read these humble ramblings it would be very simple.

Amy Grant recorded “My Grown-up Christmas List” for her “Home For Christmas” album. The lyrics imagine an adult going back to Santa with a different perspective on what matters most in life. Instead of material things the writer now asks for good things for others. I love the sentiment of the song.

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

I thought about my “grown-up” Christmas list this week. I would love for all of the things in the lyric above to come true. But I have lived enough to know they will not. Everyday lives are torn apart. Wars start too frequently. Time does not heal every heart. Some who are reading this are lonely. Right seems to lose way too often and love ends for many.

So what could I wish for that would be available for all? My grown-up Christmas list would have one simple wish. That every person would truly understand the outrageous grace gift that God offers to each one of us. All we have to do is open that gift in faith. Christmas is when the gift came to earth wrapped in swaddling clothes.

I wish that everyone who hears the Gospel message would comprehend the one way love that God demonstrated. Instead of turning His back on sinners who deserved just that God chose to reach out to His creation with a radical plan for forgiveness. A plan that is unlike any other religion in history. Man made religion always demands something to earn salvation. God’s plan for redemption requires the lost to bring nothing to the table other than their sin and the need for salvation. Nothing.

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (Ephesians 2:8-9, NLT)

Not a single requirement other than believing. A gift of grace. Grace that is so vast and inexhaustible that no sin or sinner can exceed the scope of this amazing grace to cover their sin and redeem them. I coined an acronym for grace that only partially captures the enormity of God’s love.

God’s Radical And Complete Embrace.

God initiates salvation. The plan is so radical that it feels otherworldly. Salvation is complete and God’s embrace shows His desire to know us as His beloved children.

I wish that everyone who believes the Gospel would truly believe that they are a brand new creation. Recreated as a saint with complete freedom in Christ. Adopted as a child of God. Forgiven forever. And that all of those things are completely true because of Jesus.

I wish I could give those things to everyone on my list. Life will give us sadness, loss and loneliness but trust in Jesus gives us hope in the darkest storm. It started with the baby we celebrate at Christmas.

Ten years ago we toured Israel. There were so many memories that were life changing. But one memory was unexpected and lasting.

We were in the midst of a whirlwind tour of Israel when Turkey Day arrived. As the day dawned in Jerusalem I remembered past Thanksgivings with family all around. Watching the Macy’s Parade while the tantalizing aromas of roasting turkey, pumpkin pie and fresh baked bread filled the house. Watching the football games, eating way too much, and  then the afternoon lapse into semi-consciousness known as the traditional Thanksgiving day nap. I knew that this year would be a little different but I had no idea how much.

When I heard our schedule I knew this would be a Thanksgiving like no other. Our final activity for that day would be a visit to the Holocaust Museum in Jerusalem.  My first reaction was “No, no, not today”. But then I reconsidered. What better reminder of how very much I have to be thankful for than to relive this evil tragedy.

We pulled up to impressive facility and began the tour. My heart was pierced within the first moments when I read a display about the deadening silence of the Christian church during much of this evil genocide. I recalled the haunting words of Elie Wiesel who said, “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.”  I prayed that I would never allow my convenience and comfort to overcome the responsibility to speak out.

I wanted to look away from the pictures of smiling children innocently and unknowingly being resigned to death. I struggled to absorb the depth of evil as I looked into the eyes of the death camp guards and commanders. My heart ached as I saw the vacant gaze of the death camp prisoners. I saw Jews and Christians weeping side by side as testimonies of the horrors were recounted by survivors.

I was overwhelmed by the Hall of Names…a giant repository containing millions of names and testimonies.

My chest hurt as I walked through the Children’s Memorial dedicated to the 1.5 million children who perished. I tried to grasp the enormity of that number. Dallas has a population of about 1.3 million. What if Dallas were exterminated? Yet that would fall 200,000 short of the children who died at the hands of these monsters.

I left the Yad Veshem (Holocaust Museum) in contemplative silence. I left feeling deeply thankful for how much God has blessed me. It was a tough way to spend Thanksgiving. But I am grateful that I did.

Ten years later I am still feeling the effects of the Thanksgiving like no other.

Incredibly it feels like we have a similar kind of evil growing in our world today. On this Thanksgiving I will thank God for His grace to me. I will thank Him for the many blessings I have received. I will thank Him for my family, friends and community. And I will ask God to remind me again that the opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference.

There is so much pain in this world. So many hurting people. I feel overwhelmed and helpless. What can I possibly do? And the answer quietly comes to me. Do something. A classic song called “Lean On Me” reminded me that we all need to do something for others. The lyrics sung by Bill Withers talks about simply being there when friends and loved ones are hurting.

Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain
We all have sorrow

But if we are wise
We know that there’s
Always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend

I have been thinking a lot about community. I have, to be honest, had many moments recently when I wondered if living in messy community with messy people is worth it. One of my dearest friends is Dr. Gil Herren. He used to tell me stories about working the emergency room at a Memphis hospital and how much he loved it. I could not understand how he could love seeing the pain, suffering and evil that a big city ER could produce. But as he spoke it became clear why he did it. Dr.Gil could make a difference in some people’s lives. Not all of them to be sure. But for some his expertise, skill and compassion might save them.

I find myself at least attempting to man the “ER” of a very small and sporadically effective grace hospital. I am drawn to the dysfunctional. My heart goes out to the wounded. But I will tell you that I struggle with the cost of walking in honest relationship with people. It is hard. I have come to understand why legalism is so much easier than grace. Legalism allows me to assess the situation and then apply a verse or assign a task. If that person rejects that Biblical admonition or task then legalism allows me to withdraw because they are disobedient. Grace does not give me that option. Grace demands that I move toward the struggle of my brother or sister and not away in judgment. No wonder grace is a tough sell. But like my friend Gil I do it because I hope I can help a few.

Grace wears me out and lifts me up. Grace is frustrating and exhilarating.  My old nature screams that people who make bad decisions over and over get what they “deserve”. They don’t “deserve” to be pursued and loved and restored. They made their bed now let them lay in it. But there is a small quiet voice in my heart that tells me that they have value. That they are loved by their Creator. And that voice asks who am I to decide who “deserves” anything?

A quote by Pastor Paul Donnan says it far better than I ever could.

Grace doesn’t treat us better than we deserve. It treats us without the slightest reference to what we deserve. Grace ceases to be grace if God withdraws it upon any human failure. If Grace is in any way tied to something you do, then it is no longer a gift but a wage, and that’s not grace.

And, to be selfish, the lyrics of Bill Withers tells me why it is in my own best interest to give grace willingly.

I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
Till I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Yep. It is just a matter of time until I will be begging for grace for some stupid action or word. Paul knew that was true and reminded the Galatian Church.

Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived. (Galatians 6, The Message)

Why are we so willing to receive grace and not extend it? Maybe the next lyric has a clue.

Please swallow your pride
If I have things
You need to borrow
For no one can fill

Pride. Pride causes us to cover our needs because that would show weakness. Pride tells us to wear a mask of false joy so that others won’t know our shame and sin. Our Father in Heaven designed this journey to be lived in community. God knows that we need Him and we need one another. Healthy community is not unlike two parents being the healthiest community for children. Sometimes a child needs his or her father and sometimes only the mother can touch their need. In the same way there are times when only Abba Father can comfort my soul but at other times I need the community of fellow believers to get through.

We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem
That you’ll understand

We all need somebody to lean on

Yes it is hard to walk with the wounded. Yes it is frustrating to watch messy people make the same mistakes over and over. Yes it is tiring to give grace to the needy. But my heart’s desire remains the same. These words to the Church at Corinth wrap it up nicely.

So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever. (2 Corinthians 4, The Message)