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A song by Joe South reflected my teenage disdain for those in power who seemed to not care a whit about the regular folk. I check the comments of Millenials today and I realize that not much, if anything, has changed since this song was recorded in the turbulent late 60’s.

“The Games People Play” was recorded by Joe South and here are the first two stanzas.

Oh the games people play now
Every night and every day now
Never meaning what they say now
Never saying what they mean

And they wile away the hours
In their ivory towers
Till they’re covered up with flowers
In the back of a black limousine

I have to admit that a bit of the anger and power of the protest was diminished with this hard-hitting chorus.

La-da da da da da da da
La-da da da da da de
Talking ’bout you and me
And the games people play

Hard to gin up a lot of “in your face” intensity and passion when you are singing “la-da-da-da-da-da-da”. My frustration with the hypocrisy I saw in my church was fueled by this lyric.

People walking up to you
Singing glory hallelulia
And they’re tryin to sock it to you
In the name of the Lord

We thought we could change the world by promoting love, hope and peace.  I see the same anger directed at my generation (pretty much deserved) that we felt toward my parent’s. I read how this generation is going to change things by promoting love, hope and peace. Can you say full circle?

We thought that hope would be realized with a leader or a political party. We believed that change would come because of kindred politicians or better laws or courts that would establish justice as we saw it. We thought that the right leader would make sure that we educated every child no matter their circumstance. We hoped that this political savior would provide for the needs of every person at no cost to them. We were wrong by placing that hope on the government without putting responsibility on ourselves.

So many people are placing their hope for happiness on political candidates and parties. I do believe that leaders make a difference. I care deeply about making an informed and prayerful choice. But I never place my hope or desire for change on a politician. The word hope is used about 80 times in the New Testament. The first appearance of the word in the NIV translation pretty much lays out my belief.

“In his name (Jesus) the nations will put their hope.” (Matthew 12:21, NIV)

Paul wrote about the hope that I have in his letter to the Romans.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13, NIV)

The second chorus of South’s tune has a real pearl of wisdom.

God grant me the serenity
To remember who I am

That is what I have learned since I was the frustrated and all-knowing young man hellbent on changing the establishment. I remember who I am. I am a follower of Jesus. A child of God. A servant who is humbled by His amazing grace.

I will be shocked if our leaders in Washington decide to work together for us and tone down the rhetoric. But I will not be surprised one bit if they do not. I have hope that is real. I have peace that transcends circumstance. Because of those truths I can deal with the rest of the news. I believe that no matter what happens in Washington in the coming months and years I am convinced that the following statement is true.

God is in control. And that is where my hope rests today.

Occasionally people will observe our three wonderful sons and ask something like this. “What did you do to parent such great kids?” My response is simple. “I married Joni. The rest is a blur.” There is a little too much truth in that answer. She was and is remarkable. But we did partner in this grand adventure called parenting. Along the way I learned some things mostly by error and stumbling trial. Over the next two days I will share what I have figured out with the disclaimer that I do not claim to be an expert. It is with humility and grateful appreciation to God that He has given me the gift of this family.

One thing I have learned in my journey is that every dad leaves a legacy. The only question is whether that legacy will be good, bad, or indifferent. Being a father is tough because we learn how to parent while on the job.

Ken Druck and James Simmons in The Secrets Men Keep discuss six major secrets men have. At the top of the list is that “men secretly yearn for their fathers love and approval.” This is often without their conscious knowledge that this yearning manifests itself in the drive that many males have to prove themselves. The authors say:

It may surprise us to know that the most powerful common denominator influencing men’s lives today is the relationship we had with our fathers …. Of the hundreds of men I have surveyed over the years, perhaps 90 percent admitted they still had strings leading back to their fathers. In other words, they are still looking to their fathers, even though their fathers may have been dead for years, for approval, acceptance, affection, and understanding.

These articles are not about being a perfect dad. If it were, I would be completely unqualified to write it. This series is not about piling guilt on you for mistakes made. I am not looking for the result like the boy who said to his preacher on the way out, “Boy, that was a good sermon. My dad slumped way down today.” This series is seeing what God’s plan is for leaving a positive legacy as an earthly father.

The first way to leave a good legacy is found in Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (NIV, Ephesians 5:25)

The translation in The Message says this.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not getting.

The number one way to leave a great legacy for your children is very simple:

Love your wife.

If you are already 0 for 1…or 0 for 2…hang with me. God is a God of grace and compassion. We will see how He can work even when the ideal is no longer possible in upcoming posts.

The idea of marriage as an absolute commitment is an endangered species. Our culture has devalued marriage to the point where far too many people enter relationships on a trial basis with no expectation that it can last. I will guarantee you one thing…that mindset will make it much more likely that it will not last. Had Joni and I shared that value we would be a stat and our children would be from a divided home. Why should followers of Jesus believe that marriage is for all time? A report by Warren Mueller revealed that where both parents attend church regularly, 72% of their children continue in the faith. Where only the father attends, that percentage drops to 55 percent, but where only the mother attends, just 15 percent of the children remain involved in the church.

Theodore M. Hesburgh wrote that the “most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother”.

Your children watch how you treat their mother. They watch … and they are learning and forming their concept of marriage from you. You are creating a pattern, a blueprint for marriage with your children. I struggled as a husband because I had not seen that blueprint in my parents’ marriage. My Dad was a good dad but my parents did not have a good marriage. Joni and I had to break the cycle because she also came from a difficult family situation. Because we broke the cycle our kids have seen a marriage that survived, and not only survived but is happy. But we had to do a lot of learning on the job.

Part of my preparation for this series was a survey of my three sons. I asked my sons three questions and not one of them was “What is your quest”.

What were their favorite memories with me?
What did they learn from me as a dad?
And what do they wish I had done differently?

Yeah…that last question scared me for one major reason. My sons are truthful. But I figured if I had done something really wrong in their eyes I wanted to seek forgiveness now. I thought the exercise would make them consider how they could be better fathers and how they could break more cycles.

Our oldest son Matt wrote a little extra in his letter:

And thank you for being committed to Mom.  It is a rarity to have a family that is not broken.  But you gave up bigger things to make sure we stayed together and that has made all the difference.

I loved how The Message gives a fresh twist to Paul’s familiar words to the Ephesian Church.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage. (Ephesians 5:25, The Message)

If you are still able to control this one move it to the top of your list. The first step to leaving a good legacy as a dad is to love your wife!

What if we are stubbing our toes on the sacred every day and not realizing it?

That is one of the taglines promoting my book Waking Up Slowly. The book proclaims that we are the most connected culture in history but arguably the most disconnected from the awareness of God’s presence. I examine twenty-one different attitudes and actions that cause me to miss the sacred moments that I believe can be found in every day.

But like the believers of the early church at Galatia I have an amazing ability to forget what I have learned (and written). Paul could have addressed this to me in recent weeks.

You were running the race so well. Who has held you back from following the truth? It certainly isn’t God, for He is the one who called you to freedom. (Galatians 5:7-8, NLT)

I run along smoothly for a day. Sometimes two. Then I forget who I am. Not my actual name. I generally can recall that. I forget who I am in Christ. I forget that God has my back and my future. I fret about nothing. The answer to Paul’s question about who has held me back from the truth is simple and convicting. That would be me.

And then I get a postcard from God in the most unexpected way.

During our annual beach trip to Gulf Shores, Alabama I was wading in the Gulf with daughter-in-law Holly and almost two-year-old Madeline. Nestled in her Mom’s arms she giggled when the waves crashed around her. Suddenly we heard this frightening bombshell from Madeline.

“Paci…wawa!”

Her beloved pacifier had fallen into the Gulf. Parents and Grandparents know this moment of abject panic and Madeline was predictably unhappy. I began frantically searching for it but Holly assured me there was a backup and a backup to the backup at the house.

I decided to go to edge of the surf anyway and see if it might wash ashore. Nothing. A few minutes went by and I gave up the search. I walked a few yards down the beach and explained the story to our neighbors.

“If you happen to see a pacifier wash up on the beach you can be the hero of the week! We are in the yellow house over there.”

They laughed and we chatted a bit more. I started to leave with this line.

“If Jonah’s whale spits up the pacifier let us know.”

As I turned to rejoin the family I looked down. To my sheer amazement I saw  this incredible sight two feet from my two feet.

I am not proud of my reaction.

“I think that is her pacifier,” I said knowingly as if pacifiers routinely roll in with the tide and I had to double check to make sure this one was hers. The couple was amazed. A young man in his twenties had been listening to the exchange and he responded with the most honesty.

“How the H*** did that happen?”

I just laughed. I had an idea that God had just sent a postcard to his forgetful child in the most playful way. I had written from Psalm 139 that God knows everything about me. That He is everywhere I am. And that God ordains everything about me.

What are the odds of a pacifier depositing itself two feet from me on the beach several minutes after it went in the drink? By the way, the current was very strong that day. I know it is possible. I know that some will write it off to coincidence. I am choosing to believe that a loving Father decided to have some fun with His child. The God who created the Heavens and earth can no doubt direct a little piece of plastic to a predestined destination. I don’t mean to compare my little water miracle to the deliverance of the children of Israel but I can proclaim His greatness.

“Who is like you among the gods, O Lord—
    glorious in holiness,
awesome in splendor,
    performing great wonders?  (Exodus 15, NLT)

You should have seen the look on Holly’s face when I returned with the treasure. Even better was the joy on Madeline’s countenance. She may not get the theology yet but she sure understands gratitude.

Call it luck if you wish. I call it something else. A postcard from God.

Join me on a journey to become more connected to God and one another.

John Mellencamp’s song Small Town is, in many ways, my story. I was born in the small town of Chillicothe, Ohio and even though I have moved to the big town I am still a small town guy at heart.

Educated in a small town
Taught the fear of Jesus in a small town
Used to daydream in that small town
Another boring romantic that’s me

I was indeed taught the fear of Jesus in a small town. Boy howdy was I taught that! The respect of God’s Holy nature is certainly something that needs to be taught. But the rest of the Gospel story was not proclaimed nearly as well. I wasn’t shown the love of Jesus nearly as passionately as I was taught judgment and the need to shape up and not sin.

Dr. Karl Barth was one of the most brilliant theologians of the twentieth century.  He wrote weighty volumes on faith.  A reporter once asked Dr. Barth if he could summarize what he had said in all of his voluminous works.  Dr. Barth thought for a moment and then said: “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” I wish we would default to that more in our journey.

No I cannot forget from where it is that I come from
I cannot forget the people who love me
Yeah I can be myself here in this small town
And people let me be just what I want to be

I cannot forget where I come from physically. That origin helps define me. But I often forget where I came from spiritually. I am prone to forget how desperate I was for grace and forgiveness. Paul reminds Titus to tell the believers in Crete to remember where they came from…

Remind the believers to submit to the government and its officers. They should be obedient, always ready to do what is good. They must not slander anyone and must avoid quarreling. Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone. Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. But—“When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.”  (Titus 3, NLT)

That is where I came from as a follower of Jesus. My constant challenge is to not forget my spiritual roots.

* If I can’t forgive then I have forgotten where I came from and I have forgotten how much I have been forgiven.

* When I look with disdain at another person I have forgotten where I came from. That person is a soul that Jesus loves.

* When I don’t accept another brother or sister I have forgotten where I came from. I have forgotten that I was unacceptable to a Holy God and that it is only because of Jesus that I am acceptable to Him. We must offer the same grace to others.

* When I can’t serve without expectation of personal return I have forgotten where I came from. If I remember where I came from I will serve because I am grateful for the amazing grace of Jesus.

* When I don’t give joyfully of my time and treasure I have forgotten where I came from. If  I truly understand where I came from the natural response is to serve Him joyfully.

This is important stuff. I don’t want to forget where I came from both as a person and as a child of God. My small town Chillicothe, Ohio roots are a big part of who I am. And my encounter with grace at the foot of the Cross defines who I am spiritually. I pray that I will remember every day who I am and where Jesus brought me from. I was born in a small town but I was redeemed by a big God. Today I will meditate on the wisdom of renowned theologian Karl Barth.

Jesus loves me.
This I know.
For the Bible tells me so.

Check out the newest book at WakingUpSlowly.com. (more…)

Bob Dylan wrote some powerful songs about his faith journey in the late 70’s. One song he composed popped up on the music feed recently. “Gotta Serve Somebody” simply says that no matter how independent, self-sufficient or in control we might try to be we still serve something or somebody.

But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You’re gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody

That lyric struck a spiritual chord because it reminded me of some seriously head and heart messing stuff I have been reading from Tim Keller. Keller wrote a thought provoking definition of idolatry and how we can substitute even good things for God.

“Sin is building your life and meaning on anything, even a very good thing, more than on God. Whatever we build our life on will drive us and enslave us. Sin is primarily idolatry.” (Tim Keller, “Talking About Idolatry in a Postmodern Age,” www.thegospelcoalition.org)

That is disturbing for a guy who was taught from childhood that sin is simply a list to check off my righteous behavior. That list contained but was not limited to movies, liquor, cigarettes, dancing, shacking up, long hair and rock and roll. I thought I was doing pretty well on the idolatry commandment.

Tim Keller’s definition of sin takes all of the fun out of self-righteous comparison and judging.

Here is another toe-stomper from Tim Keller. “If our identity is in our work, rather than Christ, success will go to our heads, and failure will go to our hearts.”

My worth is not in always being right or being the smartest guy in the room. My worth is defined by being a child of God and a friend of Jesus. When I keep my eyes on Jesus, I maintain a better perspective on every area of my life.

Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and He lives in all of us. (Colossians 3:10-11, NLT)

Your assignment is to take a moment to read verses 12-17 to see what the results of this action might look like. There will not be a quiz.

Another key is to remember a campfire song from the Jesus movement that was, to borrow the approach of Law and Order, “ripped” from the Gospel of Matthew. (Matthew 6:33)

Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you.
Allelu, alleluia

Everybody is going to serve somebody or something. Who (or what) are you centering your life on today? I choose today to serve Jesus. I can’t do this by myself.