Charisa Stories

Tag: forgiveness

  • Is Groundhog Day Faith a Frustrating Thing?


    Every year they rudely awaken Punxsutawney Phil long enough for the reluctant rodent to let us know if six more weeks of winter awaits. Phil always looks as happy as I do when when I am disturbed in the morning. Thirty-two years ago a funny and underappreciated movie came on the scene. Groundhog Day told the story of a self-absorbed news reporter (redundancy alert?) that finds himself stuck in an endless repeat of the same day. Bill Murray is perfect in the role of reporter Phil Connors. Reporter Phil is less than thrilled that he has been assigned to cover Punxsutawney Phil. He feels he is “above” such an inane assignment. Connor’s looks into the camera and cynically reports:

    “This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”

    The premise of the movie is that Phil Connors is doomed to live the same day over and over and over. For Connors, Groundhog Day begins each morning at 6:00 A.M as Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You Babe” blares out from his alarm clock radio. The twist is that his (and only his) memories of the “previous” day remain intact, trapped in a seemingly endless “time loop” to repeat the same day endlessly. 

    So what is the point of these ramblings? Maybe followers of Jesus can get stuck in a Groundhog Day life of their own. They wake up every day and feel trapped in a repeating pattern of frustrating behavior. Why is that? I lived a Groundhog Day kind of faith for years. The Apostle Paul wrote about this very thing (not the giant rodent part…the repeating behavior part) in his letter to the Romans.

    I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. (Romans 7, The Message)

    Wow…can I relate to that. A bit later Paul writes…I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

    That is the real question. And there is a real answer offered by Paul.

    The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

    So what can you do to get out of this sin spiral?

    Nothing.

    Wait!  Don’t let depression set in. This is good news! You and I can’t do it. I am incapable in my own efficacy to escape my spiritual Groundhog Day. Only Jesus can enable me to escape this endless loop of frustration. Further advice from Paul follows in Chapter 8 of his amazing letter to the Romans.

    But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. 

    Allow the truth of that verse to soak in.

    Want to get out of your Groundhog Day existence? Most readers of these humble ramblings realize they couldn’t deal with their sin separation from God on their own. We needed Jesus. So why do we think we can deal with our ongoing sin issues on our own? When the Father looks at me on my very worst day this is what He sees.

    Jesus.

    That is step one. I don’t have to clean up the sin to please God. He loves me already because of Jesus. Step Two. I am learning daily to recognize that the Spirit of God has taken up residence in my life. I am learning that I am the one who limits His power by restricting access and not trusting Him with my thoughts and actions. I am learning that I don’t need to wake up to the frustrating effects of repeated self-effort. I can wake up trusting God, trusting that Jesus has my sin covered and trusting that the Spirit of God will allow me to resolve that sin. Trusting God and what His Word says to be true allows me to escape the Groundhog Day syndrome.

    The moral of the movie Groundhog Day was that Phil Connor needed to learn that he was self-absorbed and dependent on his selfish efforts to get ahead. The moral of the spiritual groundhog day is to learn that we cannot depend on our self efforts to live a joyful and free Christian life. I come to Jesus by grace and total dependence. I live for Jesus by grace and total dependence. While the other groundhog is busy predicting weather I would suggest you try this for the next six weeks. When the alarm jars you awake remember this truth. Instead of the Sonny and Cher song you can sing “I Got You Lord”. The two of you can end this “Groundhog Day” of frustration. I can’t help you with the weather.

  • What I Would Love to Give You This Christmas


    Amy Grant recorded “My Grown-up Christmas List” for her “Home For Christmas” album. The lyrics imagine an adult going back to Santa with a different perspective on what matters most in life. Instead of material things the writer now asks for good things for others. I love the sentiment of the song.

    No more lives torn apart
    That wars would never start
    And time would heal all hearts
    Everyone would have a friend
    And right would always win
    And love would never end
    This is my grown-up Christmas list

    I thought about my “grown-up” Christmas list. I would love for all of the things in the lyrics above to come true. But I have lived enough to know they likely will not. Every day some lives are torn apart. Wars start too frequently. Time does not heal every heart. Some who are reading this are lonely. Right seems to lose way too often and love ends heartbreakingly for many.

    So what could I wish for that would be available for all? My grown-up Christmas list would have one simple wish.

    That every person would truly understand the outrageous grace gift that God offers to each one of us. All we have to do is open that gift in faith. Christmas is when the gift came to earth wrapped in swaddling clothes.

    I wish that everyone who hears the Gospel message would comprehend the one way love that God demonstrated. Instead of turning His back on sinners who deserved just that God chose to reach out to His creation with a radical plan for forgiveness. A plan that is unlike any other religion in history. Man made religion always demands something to earn salvation. God’s plan for redemption requires the lost to bring nothing to the table other than their sin and the need for salvation. Nothing.

    God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (Ephesians 2:8-9, NLT)

    Not a single requirement other than believing. A gift of grace. The plan is so radical that it feels otherworldly. Salvation is complete and God’s gift shows His desire to know us as His beloved children.

    I wish that everyone who believes the Gospel would truly believe that they are a brand new creation. Recreated as a saint with complete freedom in Christ. Adopted as a child of God. Forgiven forever. And that all of those things are completely true because of Jesus.

    I wish I could give those things to everyone on my list. Life will give us sadness, loss and loneliness but trust in Jesus gives us hope in the darkest storm. It started with the baby we celebrate at Christmas. The gift of forgiveness and hope is available to everyone. Receiving that gift is my wish for you this Christmas.

  • The Most Difficult Thing Jesus Asks of Us

    I think forgiveness is the most challenging thing Jesus commands us to do. I sometimes ignore God’s Word about forgiveness and whether someone “deserves” mercy. Scripture can be so annoying! Paul threw down this difficult challenge to the Ephesian church.

    Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32, NLT)

    That is a very tall order and one that is impossible to do without remembering how much I have been forgiven. If you say something nasty about me and ask for forgiveness, I will probably grant it. If you do it again and ask forgiveness, I might forgive you again. If you do the same thing again and ask forgiveness, I will most likely respond with skepticism and ask you to “prove” you are sorry.

    Yet that illustration is exactly what I do in my relationship with God every day. I have asked Him to forgive the same sin dozens, even hundreds of times. Still His Word tells me I am forgiven and He loves me just the same as the first time I confessed that sin. That is how God has forgiven me through Christ. I should respond accordingly to others, forgiving out of profound gratitude. Do you see any way around the obvious command to forgive? Me either.

     Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (Colossians 3:13, NLT)

    Bottom line: we are commanded to forgive as we have been forgiven. Forgiveness may well be the missing ingredient to the healing of most relationships. Forgive the one who wounded you. Forgive yourself and seek forgiveness if you are the one who wounded.

    I imagine Jesus’ heart is saddened by my stubborn refusal to consider His forgiveness extended to me and, consequently, my refusal to lean on His power to forgive.

    The reality is that there is fear on the road to forgiveness whenever I take my eyes off of Christ. My heart cries out in protest. What if they reject, scoff, or take advantage of my forgiveness? Jesus reminds me gently that He understands. And it is the right thing to do, no matter how the other party responds.

    When I allow God to heal my heart and give me the power to forgive others the weight of the world is lifted off my soul. Sadly, too often, it is the road less taken. But it is the path that will make a difference in my (and your) journey with Jesus.

    Author Will Davis Jr. explains that forgiveness is a process empowered by taking the step of faith.

    “Once you decide to forgive, you initiate the healing process. Forgiveness gives your soul permission to move on to the higher and healthier ground of emotional recovery. Forgiveness is to your soul what antibiotics are to infection. It is the curative agent that will help to fully restore your soul. It doesn’t immediately remove the pain of the offense but it does start you on the road to recovery.”

    I really like that perspective. The decision to forgive initiates but does not complete healing. You and I will, in time, heal. But we will never get there without taking the first step of faith.

    I have spent a lot of unhappy moments not enjoying the freedom the Lord intended because I did not want to forgive someone who hurt me. I grieve to think of how I have stubbornly refused to forgive others for real and/or perceived slights over the years. I can imagine Jesus looking at me with sadness (not condemnation) because I have not fully comprehended the magnitude of the debt that has been erased from my account because of Him. If I cannot forgive, I have forgotten or never comprehended how much I have been forgiven.

    How quickly I forget. I forget how much I have been forgiven. I forget how much I am loved by Jesus. I forget that I am a brand new creation. I forget I am righteous because of the finished  work of Christ. I forget that there is no condemnation in Christ. I forget that I am a beloved child of God and He is for me. I forget that He has my back and He has me in His hand forever. I am forgetful.

    But thank God He does not forget His promises. I need to remember that today.

  • The Jesus Contract is the Best You Will Ever be Offered. And it’s Irrevocable!

    When Joni and I purchased a new house a few years ago we visited the title company to sign the official documents. The person from the title company relentlessly pushed papers in front of us along with a brief description of what we were signing. My memory may not be exact but it was something like this.

    This one says that the builder is transferring the deed to you. And this one says that you have paid the taxes that you owe to Caesar. This one says that you agree to let the HOA control everything you think and do. This one says that you are paying us random fees that you have no idea what they are or why they are needed but you have no choice. This one says a lawyer gets a lot of money for cut and pasting into a standard document. It was a mind-numbing process and by the end I probably would have signed anything put in front of me.

    Title Company: “This one says you will give us a kidney if we ask you.” 
    Me: “Okay…Where do I sign?”

    Seriously, we had carefully looked over the papers beforehand because we wanted to understand the significance of each document. 

    Later I wondered how a process like this could work when we decide to enter into a relationship with Jesus. What if we sat across from Jesus and signed off on everything He offered for our salvation? Would it help us to comprehend the amazing number of spiritual transactions that took place when Jesus became our substitute on the Cross? What would that salvation closing appointment look like? 

    I imagined sitting down across from Jesus to close the deal. His smile was welcoming and kind as he arranged the papers on the table.

    Jesus: I am rejoicing that you have decided to follow Me. Let’s start with this document. This is the Forgiveness contract. In this one all of your sins are forgiven. Past, present, and future. God the Father will remember them no more. Let me paraphrase how my servant Paul put it to the Roman believers.

    Romans 8:1- So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Me.

    Do you accept this offer?

    Me: Absolutely!

    Jesus: Next are the Adoption Papers. These say that you are now a child of God. You are no longer separated from the Father. Paul told the Galatians we are all children of God through faith. (Galatians 3:26) Just sign right here and know that now you are His beloved child. Trust me, that is a wonderful position to be in. 

    Me: Wow! Yes!


    The next document is the Eternal Warranty. This says that I guarantee my work on the Cross forever. There is nothing Satan can do to change this agreement. I remember when I said this to John and he wrote it in His Gospel account.

    I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me, for my Father has given them to me, and he is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father’s hand. (John 10:28-29)

    This can never be voided. You understand that I am guaranteeing this and you have to do nothing to keep it in place? 

    Me: I do. This is amazing.

    Jesus: Sign here and I will tell you about our kingdom HOA agreement. It is a little different from your earthly version. It says here you have a home in Heaven and that you are part of the worldwide community of believers. That all of my followers will live together in the unity of the Holy Spirit. Paul explained it to the Corinthian Church…

    For by one spirit we were all baptized into one body-whether Jews of Greeks, whether slaves or free-and have all been made to drink into one Spirit (1 Corinthians 12:13)

     The next thing we need to look at is the Name Change document.

    This one says you will have a new title. You are still Dave but you will be DBA (doing business as) with the new name Saint. That’s right. All of my followers are saints because of their relationship with me. 

    Let’s talk about Dwelling Rights next. This document says the Holy Spirit will come to dwell in you. This is such good deal because the Spirit seals you and guides you every moment. You have the presence of God in you by simply agreeing with this truth. After you initial and sign that we will look at the Identity Protection contract.

    This document says that you have a brand new identity and it cannot be taken away or hacked. It says that today you are spiritually regenerated as a result of the Holy Spirit and the power of the Gospel message that my Father gave to you through my life, death, and resurrection. Paul put in this way.

    This means that anyone who belongs to (Me) has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (2 Cor. 5:17)

    You doing okay? You look a little overwhelmed. Let’s look at the Inheritance Clause. By agreeing to follow Me today you are now entitled to everything that the Father promises to Me. I know. That is amazing. There may be some trials along the way but it will be so worth it. Read what was written to the Roman Church.

    And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. (Romans 8:17)

    The next document says you don’t need to add anything else to complete this agreement. My sometimes impetuous child Peter said it very well.

    By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. (2 Peter 1:3) 

    Everything is being given to you at this moment and it further states that you are complete and lacking nothing. You have power over Satan and you don’t need to be a slave to sin. But never forget where that power comes from. You can’t do it without Me.

    Any questions?

    Me: This is unbelievable. Surely I have to bring something to the table to complete this deal?

    Jesus: Did you bring your sin?

    Me: Yes. Lots of it.

    Jesus: Do you recognize that you are separated from God by that sin and need a Savior to be reconciled and made right with Him?

    Me: Definitely

    Jesus: Do you believe that I took on your sin, went to the Cross, was killed, buried and rose again on the 3rd day? Do you believe I am the way, the truth, and the life

    Me: I do believe.

    Jesus: Then you are paid in full. The contract is in effect and cannot be voided. 

    Me: Your grace is incomprehensible. 

    Jesus smiles and stands up. He moves toward me and embraces me.

    Jesus: There is one more thing I need to say. Welcome to the Family!

  • The Parable of the Prodigal is Game Changing

    The Return of the Prodigal Son, 1773 | Pompeo Batoni | Painting Reproduction

    God initiates salvation. The plan is so radical that it feels otherworldly. Salvation is complete and God’s embrace shows His desire to know us as His beloved children. No matter what you have done the Father stands ready to embrace and redeem. That flies in the face of what many of us have experienced in love relationships.

    But that is exactly the picture that Scripture paints in the story of the Prodigal Son. The son rebelled, sinned, and suffered the horrible consequences of his actions. The son realized his sin and in humble desperation decided to throw himself at the mercy of his father. Clearly the sins of the son would cause him to lose the daily privileges of being a son. But this passage tells us that nothing had changed in how the father viewed his son. The son was sure his behavior had estranged him from his father. The imagery is compelling. The father runs to him. That was undignified act of pure love and joy. The father would never have done that in common practice. His act was a gesture of love and forgiveness but also to protect his precious child from the judgment of others.

    And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’

    “But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began. (Luke 15, NLT)

    The Father placed the finest robe on his wayward son who deserved nothing after his selfish and sinful actions. In the cultural context readers would have surmised that the “finest robe” was the father’s own robe that he placed on his son. The robe that was worn on the most special of occasions. The custom would have been for the son to bathe, put on clean clothes and then put on the robe. But in a stunning gesture of compassion, the father placed his robe over the filthy garments. By giving that gift to his wayward son, the father gave him a covering of acceptance and salvation. And the father also let everyone know that the son was forgiven, accepted and no longer to be condemned by others who had judged his behavior. And you might remember that most upset person in the story was the older brother who had done everything right. The older brother had not yet experienced what author Edwin Lutzer describes as the prerequisite for grace.

    “When the mask of self-righteousness has been torn from us and we stand stripped of all our accustomed defenses, we are candidates for God’s generous grace.”

    The story is the same today. The Father ran to forgive you when you acknowledged your sin and need. While you were still dirty and clothed in filthy garments you were forgiven, accepted, justified and wrapped in the robe of righteousness. You were declared a saint because of Christ. And you were no longer condemned. Satan would have you forget that the robe of righteousness is wrapped lovingly around you. The author of lies would remind you that you still wear dirty clothing. He would suggest that you need to set aside the robe until you clean up yourself and your garments. That is the power of this story. The robe of righteousness is never earned. It is a gift of grace. On my worst day the Father wraps me up in this precious garment because of His Son Jesus.

    How differently we would live if we remembered that truth every day. I am a saint. I am wrapped in the robe of righteousness. We are new creatures who are forgiven, accepted, and wrapped in this incomprehensible gift of grace. Even in our failure Jesus loves us anyway.

    I wish that everyone who believes the Gospel would truly believe that they are a brand new creation. Recreated as a saint with complete freedom in Christ. Adopted as a child of God. Forgiven forever. And that all of those things are completely true because of Jesus.

  • Don’t Forget Where You Came From

    I will always remember watching Ricky Skaggs and Kentucky Thunder in concert. I have decided that if am ever unresponsive you can check my heart status by playing a Ricky Skaggs tune. If my toe doesn’t start tapping I am likely flat-lined. You just can’t help responding if you have a pulse.

    I left the concert and waded through Skagg’s discography. One song brought back memories of something my Mom always said to me. The song that jogged that recollection was called Don’t Get Above Your Raisin’.

    Now lookee here gal don’t ya’ high hat me,
    I ain’t forgot what you used ta be
    When you didn’t have nuthin,
    That was plain ta’ see.
    Don’t get above your raisin’
    Stay down ta’ earth with me.

    Mom was raised as a farm girl in Kentucky and she was fiercely proud of that. So anytime she perceived that I was getting a bit uppity and full of myself she would throw that line down.

    “Don’t get above your raisin’.”

    Sometimes it was over such important issues as abandoning Maxwell House for that fancy-schmancy Starbucks. Usually the comment was meant to keep me grounded and to remind me where I came from. Can’t say that I always appreciated the input.

    I think we do the same thing as Christians. A big reason that we are not more joyful and victorious in this journey is that we forget where we came from. We have forgotten our raisin’ and the gift of our salvation. Somehow we forget how desperate we were and start to believe that we are actually deserving. Paul reminds Titus to tell the believers in Crete to remember where they came from…

    Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other.

    Not too attractive. Nothing to be uppity about. Then the grace of God intervened.

    But—“When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, He saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.” 

    So that is where I came from. That is where you came from if you are a follower of Jesus. Paul wraps ups this text with a challenge.

    This is a trustworthy saying, and I want you to insist on these teachings so that all who trust in God will devote themselves to doing good. These teachings are good and beneficial for everyone. (Titus 3:3-8)


    My constant challenge is to not get above my raisin’ spiritually.

    • If I can’t forgive then I have forgotten where I came from. I did not deserve to be forgiven by a Holy God. I was.
    • When I look with disdain at another person I have forgotten where I came from. That person is a soul that Jesus came to this planet to die for on the Cross.
    • When I don’t accept another brother or sister I have forgotten that I was unacceptable to a Holy God. Jesus said you are acceptable because of Me. We must offer the same grace because of Jesus.
    • When I can’t serve without expectation of personal return I have forgotten where I came from. If I remember where I came from I will serve because I am grateful for what Christ did for me.
    • When I don’t give joyfully of my time and treasure I have forgotten where I came from. If you truly understand where you came from the natural response is to serve Him joyfully.

    This is important stuff. I don’t want to forget where I came from both as a person and as a child of God. My small town roots are a big part of who I am. And my encounter with grace at the foot of the Cross defines who I am spiritually. I pray that I will remember every day who I am and where Jesus brought me from. Take time to remember where you came from. And then respond appropriately.

  • Color Shouldn’t Matter ‘Cause We All Bleed the Same

    It was so sad to hear of the passing of the incredibly talented singer Mandisa. I remembered a duet from Mandisa and TobyMac that touched me deeply. They addressed the heartbreaking issue of racism and political division that affects our culture and often impacts the church.

    These lyrics immediately grabbed my heart.

    Are you left?
    Are you right?
    Pointing fingers, taking sides
    When are we gonna realize?

    We all bleed the same
    We’re more beautiful when we come together
    We all bleed the same
    So tell me why, tell me why
    We’re divided.

    Why indeed? I am praying for another leader like Martin Luther King Jr who will remind us that hateful rhetoric never, ever, ever changes a heart. 

    Followers of Christ have a message of hope and light that is desperately needed. But we can get caught up in the politics of our world and snuff out that light. I have been guilty of that in my journey at times.

    I fear our culture will get darker in the days and months ahead. Followers of Christ have to make a decision. We can decide to complain that Christians are no longer respected and valued in the culture. Or we can decide to show the kind of kindness, forgiveness, grace, and love that early Christians demonstrated to change a hostile culture. Christianity really functions best as the underdog. We can ask God to give us the strength and grace to be a light in the darkness.

    What does that mean? What message makes a difference? During a British conference on comparative religions, experts from around the world debated what, if any, belief was unique to the Christian faith. They began eliminating possibilities. Incarnation? Other religions had different versions of gods’ appearing in human form. Resurrection? Again, other religions had accounts of return from death. The debate went on for some time until C. S. Lewis wandered into the room. “What’s the rumpus about?” he asked, and heard in reply that his colleagues were discussing Christianity’s unique contribution among world religions. Lewis responded, “Oh, that’s easy. It’s grace.”

    Perhaps the fact that grace and forgiveness are rare commodities in this society is a big reason we see such anger and hopelessness.

    Our natural reaction to those who denigrate our faith is to strike back. Jesus knew this would happen and He had some very radical instructions.

    “But I say to you who are listening: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. (Luke 6:27-28,  NET)

    I wonder what God could do if we followed those words?  And if we remembered that we all created in the image of God but our different experiences and stories can divide us. They don’t have to.

    If we’re gonna fight
    Let’s fight for each other
    If we’re gonna shout
    Let love be the cry
    We all bleed the same
    So tell me why, tell me why
    We’re divided

    My prayer is that we do not focus on the multitude of political issues that divide us but on the one healing name that can unite us.

    Jesus.

    His blood was shed on the Cross for all races. If we believe that then why are we divided? We don’t need to be if we keep our eyes on the Cross.