Charisa Stories

Tag: grace

  • Follow the Grace Rules of Order in a Divided Culture

    When I became elder chairman at Waterbrook Bible Fellowship I had to learn Roberts Rules of Order. Not exactly my fastball but having that protocol in place helped the meetings proceed in an orderly fashion.

    Recently I have been pondering publishing the “Grace Rules of Order”. Seems a little odd because grace doesn’t depend on legalistically following rules and law but please hear me out. I made a conscious decision a few years ago to focus on communicating the message of grace and identity in Christ. With that I decided to avoid the polarizing path of politics. Some have told me that is cowardly but I can honestly say there is no message more important to me than the liberating freedom of grace. I want to share the joy of living out of what Jesus has already accomplished and what God says is true about me. 

    I feel called to be a messenger of hope and grace. Plus I feel like the negative team has a pretty full roster of contributors. But how does grace enter into the conversation when we have sincere disagreements over cultural and political issues? It is fascinating how two people can look at the same information and reach completely opposite conclusions. So I am going to offer the “Grace Rules of Order” as a roadmap for civil discussion and shining the love of Jesus for others. 

    • Sincere followers of Jesus can look at cultural or political issues and have very different opinions. Jesus loves His children on both sides of the argument.

    I know I have changed my views on some cultural issues over my years of walking with Jesus. I was a child in the era when divorce was a mortal sin. I absolutely am committed to the idea of a husband and wife taking their vows seriously. But I learned that the cultural shame of divorce caused many Christian women to feel trapped in relationships of abuse. Clearly that was not the desire of a loving Heavenly Father who ordained marriage. In those sad situations it is necessary to divorce an abusive spouse. In the pulpits of my youth the message was no divorce outside of adultery was ever justified. I had a blind spot about how a declaration that appeared Biblical could foster abuse. So many issues we discuss have similar and complex nuances. We need to discuss, not demonize.

    • The goal of a discussion should not be to win.

    Thoughtful discussion is impossible when one of the participants only cares about winning the debate. The goal of any conversation should be graceful exchange of ideas without rude interruptions, condescending gestures, or angry exchanges. I would rather have a goal of being winsome instead of winning. That attitude fosters conversation. 

    • People of different viewpoints should commit to listen. Nothing shows respect more than carefully listening to the arguments of those with whom you disagree and then gently offering thoughtful responses. 

    Listen to talking heads on television news shows as they “discuss” different points of view. As soon as one side starts talking the other shakes their head, smirks, and then interrupts and talks over the other person. How is that going to persuade anyone? Yet we tend to do the same thing when we have significant disagreements with people. Listen. Really listen. Let them finish their point. Then respond in grace.

    • Ask questions.

    You will not influence another person by arguing. The way to connect is to ask questions and try to understand why they feel the way they do. I have found that many times people I talk with don’t have a solid reason for their feelings. That can be a opening to honestly discuss difficult topics. 

    • Pop the bubble around you.

    Find out what the other person is reading and watching. Expose yourself to different points of view and encourage those you have disagreements with to do the same. If you are confident in your beliefs there should be no fear in being exposed to differing viewpoints.

    • All of us are a work in process.

    Every child of God is in process. I am a very different Christian than I was 20, 10, or even 5 years ago. I am growing (hopefully) in grace and truth. I strongly believed and said things years ago that I am grieved about today. Thankfully God was patiently working with my heart and gently shining the light of the Holy Spirit on my blind spots. I need to give that grace to others. 

    • Pray for wisdom and grace then leave the results to God.

    So what is the goal when you have sincere disagreements with another believer over cultural issues? Use the “Grace Rules of Order” and relax. God may be using you to plant seeds in the heart of the other person. Maybe you have a blind spot that needs the refining work of the Holy Spirit. Share your heart with love and kindness and be open to the possibility that you may be the one who needs to change your heart.

    • Grace never cancels

    Grace does not “cancel”. Grace does not shame. Grace does not answer anger with anger. The person you totally disagree with may be crying out of pain and deep wounding. Perhaps a gentle answer will give hope. Grace does not lash out when challenged. Grace is kind and gentle.

    Being graceful can be frustrating. Paul addresses this to the church at Colossae. 

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 
    And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
    Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:12-17, NLT)

    Perhaps the most important thing all of us can do to further the unity in the body of Christ is to memorize that passage and try to implement those words for 30 days. Engaging The Rules of Grace may not win every argument but it may point a soul toward Jesus and that is the biggest win we can pray for.

  • DIY is bad theology

    Joni and I watch a lot of HGTV shows together. I love how they take a house that is dysfunctional and ugly and make it useful and beautiful. The process is intriguing. 

    Identity the problem. Come up with a new plan. Demo the old stuff. Rebuild with hard work. 

    Results? Amazing. 

    Too often we take that process and convert it into a do-it-yourself project to grow as followers of Jesus. The results? Not so amazing.

    I tried executing the DIY blueprint over and over. 

    I am dysfunctional. Check. I have identified the problem. I believe God has a plan for my life. Check. 

    Now I need to rebuild my spiritual dwelling place. This is where I veered off the Biblical script. I thought the self-demolition of my sinful behaviors and personal remodeling of my life would be based on my hard work.

    Bad plan. Jesus doesn’t remodel a messed up structure. He builds a completely new one on the day the contract is signed.

    ”So then, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; what is old has passed away – look, what is new has come!“ (2 Corinthians5:17, NET)

    Not recreated. A NEW creation. We are not remodeled. Jesus came to create a brand new structure. And that new house is built on the firm foundation of Jesus.

    Honestly, I am not sure if I didn’t understood that process or just couldn’t trust it. I tried self-demolition of my fleshly behaviors. It seemed to work for a bit. But as I returned to my DIY rebuild there were new walls of wrong actions and bad motive structures that needed removing. It felt like every time I reviewed my spiritual house there was more junk to be dealt with. This DIY show went on for season after season.

    I kept thinking if I put the right plan in place and worked diligently I would see a beautiful improvement in my spiritual house.

    On the sidelines the enemy told me I would not be having these problems if I would;

    • Read God’s Word more faithfully
    • Pray more fervently
    • Love and serve others more consistently
    • Tell others about Jesus
    • Give more to the church

    All of those things on that list are good and valuable. But that list is not what makes you righteous. You are righteous because of Christ. 

    Period. 

    When you trust that and believe that you have a new identity as a new creation then the list above becomes a grateful desire and not a begrudging obligation to try and be better. All of the guilt and shame and sin that used to define you is no longer true. That old house is demolished. You are a new structure. New life has begun. 

    My life was changed over four decades ago when I decided to trust Jesus as my Lord and Savior. It took me way too long to understand that I was completely remade as a new creation at that very moment. I spent many frustrating years trying to fix something that Jesus had already fixed. My life was completely revamped when I began to fully understand who I am in Christ and that I just need to live my life daily trusting in His grace and love.  

    My DIY days are over. Now my desire is build on the foundation of Jesus and decorate my spiritual home with truth, love, and grace. 

    Remind yourself daily who you are. You are a new creation when you trusted in the finished work of Jesus. Your sin was completely demoed on the Cross. God has delivered righteousness to that new structure on day one. Your yard sign says you are a saint. I know. Your neighbors might be surprised but they don’t see what God sees. Jesus has built a new life.

    My job became so much better. Live joyfully and without condemnation. Trust His new creation and enjoy the beauty of forgiveness and grace. I can’t do it myself.


  • We Should All Pray to be “Troublesome” Christians

    Because of my career path in secular television I have a lot of people very dear to me who do not share my faith and hope in Jesus. Some are simply disinterested. Some think their good works will outweigh their bad deeds and they will be granted entry to Heaven. Some think that faith in God is a foolish pursuit that no intellectually honest person would consider. Some have witnessed horrible actions of people claiming to be Christians. Some have experienced harsh and legalistic religious types who make living a life of faith miserable and emotionally damaging. Some are pushed away by those who share sincere beliefs in a way that does not show the love of God.

    Any combination of these factors can cause people to step away or not pursue what it means to follow Jesus. I get it. I have struggled with many of those things over my long journey of faith.

    Brennan Manning wrote this very convicting observation. “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”

    It is easy to dismiss the hypocrite. No problem to ignore the angry and judgmental religious types. But before I came to faith I was troubled when I saw some Christians who displayed something different in their lives. I could not dismiss so readily the joy, peace, strength, courage, and love they modeled. They were “troublesome” Christians to me.  I could not ignore them because their lives were authentic and different (different good, not weird).

    I want to be that kind of Christian. That is what any follower of Jesus should pray to become. Troublesome. When others look at your life they see kindness and grace when the circumstances call for anything but that response. That is troublesome to those observers. Or how about being a positive light when you are going through a difficult valley? My Pastor Jeff Denton showed that trait throughout his difficult cancer journey that ended this week. Jeff modeled that when you trust God completely and faithfully through trials you will be a light in the darkness for those around you. He trusted that God would redeem his difficult journey. Jeff didn’t know what that would look like but he lived everyday with the belief that God was present. The way he lived out his faith as cancer racked his body impacted his church, his doctors, his medical caretakers, and people all over the community. It seemed impossible for anyone to show that much strength on their own. Pastor Jeff never once took credit for that strength. So many people were amazed by the way Jeff navigated his painful journey with joy, love, and concern for others facing far less serious problems. How did he do it? When he ran his closing credits Pastor Jeff gave all of the credit to Jesus. You can wonder how Jeff somehow managed to muster supernatural personal strength or you can believe that his strength came from God. That is being a “troublesome” Christian to those who dismiss faith as a crutch for the weak.

    How about when you love and serve others without looking for anything in return? That is being a “troublesome” Christian by simply following the commandment of Jesus.

    “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.”

    That was not a helpful suggestion. Jesus made that command the cornerstone of following Him. So that is my desire. To love others as I have been loved by Jesus and be a “troublesome” Christian to those who aren’t sure about following Him. You can Google yourself away from faith by looking to find people who claim to follow Jesus and have failed dramatically. What the Enemy tries to hide are the millions of faithful and loving followers of Jesus who make a difference every day without any fanfare or credit. They can be troublesome to those who desire to dismiss Jesus. I encountered troublesome believers in my early season of doubt who caused me to examine why they were so different, loving, kind, and graceful. God used them to open my heart toward Him. I want to be a troublesome Christian that God can use for His glory. And I want every bit of the credit to go where it should go.

    Jesus.

  • Why Me Lord?

    Why me Lord? I suspect that most of us have cried out to God with that question. I would also guess that approximately ninety-nine percent of the time we are asking God why some trial has come our way that we feel is undeserved.

    The same question has been asked throughout history. “Why me Lord? Why me?”

    A song by Kris Kristofferson cycled up on on my satellite radio today and reminded me of a better perspective. I have loved Kristofferson’s song “Why Me?” since I was a young believer and, if you do the math, you realize that I am not so young a believer anymore. The truth is I am still trying to apply the wisdom of these lyrics.

    Why me Lord, what have I ever done
    To deserve even one
    Of the pleasures I’ve known
    Tell me Lord, what did I ever done
    That was worth loving you
    Or the kindness you’ve shown

    So true. What have I done to deserve even one of His blessings? I did not deserve forgiveness. That was a gift of grace from a loving God. I did not deserve to be born in the United States into incredible comfort, religious freedom, and opportunity. I did not deserve to be born healthy when others live with chronic afflictions. Those things were blessings that I received without complaining to my Creator.

    The “why me Lord” question we so often ask should have an entirely different focus.

    Why me Lord? What have I done to deserve your blessing?

    It is true that some seem to suffer a disproportionate amount of affliction and difficulty. It doesn’t seem fair. The theology that faithful Christians will experience nonstop prosperity, perfect health, and green lights at every intersection is a lie from the pit of Hell. Suffering is a part of the process that God uses to refine our faith and ultimately to glorify Him.

    My high school basketball coach was a winner and a great teacher. I remember Coach Tom Cuppett yelling at me. A lot. It seemed I could never do anything right. We would run a play and the whistle would blow. “Burchett….what are you doing?” Then he would grab me and the other forwards and walk us through what was supposed to happen. After my senior season Coach Cuppett called me in to his office.

    “I have to let you in on something. Remember how I always yelled at you and walked you through the plays?” He asked.
    I responded with a smile. “Pretty hard to forget that you can’t do anything right.”
    “The truth is that a lot of the time it was not you who messed up. But (redacted) couldn’t take the criticism and you could. So I yelled at you and then grabbed him and walked both of through the plays so he would learn without losing his confidence.”
    “It would have been nice to know why I was the target so often.”
    “I couldn’t tell you at the time. But I trusted you to keep going and you did. Your ability to handle adversity made him and our team better.”

    The lesson never left. I trusted a good coach and accepted what I had to endure to achieve our goal of winning. Later I found out that I had gained honor in his eyes by trusting him even when things didn’t seem “fair”. How much more so can I trust a God who loved me enough to offer grace when I was completely without merit? What if that trial is given to me because God deems me able to remain steadfast and through that faithfulness others will be impacted for good? What if I get called into God’s office someday and find out that He gave me the gift of trials to reflect His glory and now my rewards will far exceed that temporary pain? If I can trust an earthly coach then I can certainly trust my Heavenly Father with all of me.

    Kristofferson writes about what many of us regret.

    Lord help me, Jesus
    I’ve wasted it so help me, Jesus
    I know what I am
    But now that I know
    That I’ve needed you so help me, Jesus
    My soul’s in your hand

    That is the amazing thing about our God of redemption and second chances. It is never too late to start trusting and living in His grace. It starts with believing your real identity. Henri Nouwen says it well.

    “You can deal with an enormous amount of success as well as an enormous amount of failure without losing your identity, because your identity is that you are the beloved. Long before your father and mother, your brothers and sisters, your teachers, your church, or any people touched you in a loving as well as in a wounding way-long before you were rejected by some person or praised by somebody else-that voice has been there always. “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” That love is there before you were born and will be there after you die.”

    Paul wrote this to the Church at Ephesus.

    Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.  (Ephesians 1, NLT)

    Believing that makes it possible to ask “why me” in a very different way.

  • My Christmas Wish for You

    Amy Grant recorded “My Grown-up Christmas List” for her “Home For Christmas” album. The lyrics imagine an adult going back to Santa with a different perspective on what matters most in life. Instead of material things the writer now asks for good things for others. I love the sentiment of the song.

    No more lives torn apart
    That wars would never start
    And time would heal all hearts
    Everyone would have a friend
    And right would always win
    And love would never end
    This is my grown-up Christmas list

    I thought about my “grown-up” Christmas list this week. I would love for all of the things in the lyrics above to come true. But I have lived enough to know they will not. Everyday lives are torn apart. Wars start too frequently. Time does not heal every heart. Some who are reading this are lonely. Right seems to lose way too often and love ends for many.

    So what could I wish for that would be available for all? My grown-up Christmas list would have one simple wish. That every person would truly understand the outrageous grace gift that God offers to each one of us. All we have to do is open that gift in faith. Christmas is when the gift came to earth wrapped in swaddling clothes.

    I wish that everyone who hears the Gospel message would comprehend the one way love that God demonstrated. Instead of turning His back on sinners who deserved just that God chose to reach out to His creation with a radical plan for forgiveness. A plan that is unlike any other religion in history. Man made religion always demands something to earn salvation. God’s plan for redemption requires the lost to bring nothing to the table other than their sin and the need for salvation. Nothing.

    God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (Ephesians 2:8-9, NLT)

    Not a single requirement other than believing. A gift of grace. The plan is so radical that it feels otherworldly. Salvation is complete and God’s gift shows His desire to know us as His beloved children.

    I wish that everyone who believes the Gospel would truly believe that they are a brand new creation. Recreated as a saint with complete freedom in Christ. Adopted as a child of God. Forgiven forever. And that all of those things are completely true because of Jesus.

    I wish I could give those things to everyone on my list. Life will give us sadness, loss and loneliness but trust in Jesus gives us hope in the darkest storm. It started with the baby we celebrate at Christmas. The gift of forgiveness and hope is available to everyone. Receiving that gift is my wish for you this Christmas.

  • Feeling Like a Misfit this Christmas?

    Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year. I love the music, the memories, the traditions, and the chance to annually think about Burl Ives.

    His memory returns with my annual viewing of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Ives is the voice of Sam the Snowman who narrates the “enhanced” story of Rudolph.

    Rudolph and his elf buddy Hermey don’t fit in with the others. Rudolph looks different than his peers. Hermey is not interested in making toys. In an odd plot twist, Hermey wants to be a dentist. Not surprisingly, his elf supervisor is upset with the unproductive Hermey. So the two outcasts set off to find their purpose and a place to be accepted.

    The part of the story that resonates with me these days is when Hermey and Rudolph find their way to the Island of Misfit Toys. All of the toys on this island are castoffs because they are flawed and deemed worthless. There is a “Charlie in the Box” and a train with square wheels. A boat that sinks in water and a squirt gun that shoots jelly. All of these flawed toys are banished to the Island of Misfit Toys simply because they are different.


    That is how I picture so many sad and tired followers of Jesus. They see themselves as misfits. They believe they are flawed and not worth much of anything. They have allowed a perceived idea of what a “good” Christian should look like to cause them to feel like they don’t measure up. The doubts overwhelm them.  Discouraged followers of Christ start thinking thoughts like these.

    I don’t have theological training.
    I can’t sing well.
    I am not a good teacher.
    I am afraid to share my faith.
    I feel awkward in groups.
    I am not a leader.
    I don’t have much to offer.

    But that is not how the Bible describes a follower of Christ. Every Christian is described as being part of the body of Christ. Scripture makes it clear that every part of the body of Christ is vital to the healthy function of the church. Henri Nouwen wrote that every follower of Jesus has a God designed role.

    “We seldom realize fully that we are sent to fulfill God-given tasks. . . . We act as if we were simply dropped down in creation and have to decide how to entertain ourselves until we die. But we were sent into the world by God, just as Jesus was. Once we start living our lives with that conviction, we will soon know what we were sent to do.”

    So if you are feeling like a misfit toy this Christmas season you can trust this truth. You have a divine purpose. God does not make misfits. He creates people in His image with value and great worth. Satan would like you to retreat to your own island of misfits to feel sad and worthless. But God has another gathering place in mind.

    The Island of Grace. On that island you are not a misfit. You are a beloved child of God. You are a saint. And in this wonderful place there are no misfits. Every blemish makes you more valuable, not less. Brokenness makes you more beautiful. The miracle of Christmas makes us friends to the King. Paul made that abundantly clear with these words of encouragement to the Church in Rome.

    So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. (Romans 5, NLT)

    Friend of God? Hard to feel like a misfit if you believe that is true. Open that gift this year and keep it close to your heart.

    Merry Christmas!

  • The Danger of the Santa Clause is Coming to Town Theology

    I remember a Christmas past when I quizzed the grandkids what they had asked Santa to bring. After telling me their wish they followed up with this statement.

    “Unless we have been bad. Then maybe we won’t get it until next year.”

    I smiled and assured them that they were not bad. Parents have dangled that Santa “nice list” carrot to try and get good behavior for generations. Santa Clause is comin’ to town and you had better watch out because he is making a list. So no pouting, No crying. Better be on your best behavior or else. And that performance trap learned as a child waiting for Santa can also profoundly and dangerously impact Christians.  I am borrowing some content from my dear friend John Lynch, one of the authors of the The Cure. He addresses how we are programmed from childhood to default to performance theology. He calls it the “Santa Claus is Coming to Town theology”.

    You better watch out
    Better not cry
    Better not pout
    I am telling you why
    Santa Claus is comin’ to town
    He’s making a list….checking it twice…three times…every day
    Gonna find out who’s naughty and nice
    Santa Claus is comin’ to town
    He sees you when your sleeping, nows when your awake, he knows when you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake.

    Oh, he’s watching. Waiting for you to screw up so you will get coal instead of a bicycle. You had better please him. And we teach our kids to put on the mask and be something they are not. Because Santa Claus is comin’ to town. This omniscient being who is judging our every deed is coming to town…and we learn to do the dance early. Buck up…be good. Don’t cry. Don’t pout. Santa Claus is coming to town.  (©Copyright 2003, William Thrall, Bruce McNicol, John Lynch. All rights reserved. Unauthorized duplication prohibited.)

    He is exactly right. We learn that we get good things and receive love only when we are good and do good things. Santa is pleased (and we later substitute God) when we are good. So we learn early. We had better be good. Or least fool everyone around us to think that we are being good.

    I remember (vaguely) the tension of the Santa Claus years. I knew I hadn’t really changed much. I tried to modify my behavior for a week or two leading up to Christmas but I knew I had failed to be good. I learned how hard it is to change behavior by sheer willpower. I did not learn about grace. Instead of learning that Santa gave me gifts because I was loved I believed it was based on my performance.

    Isn’t that too often how we view God? We had better not cry. Better not sin. I’m telling you why. Jesus is coming to town. He’s making a list and He is checking it not once or twice but every moment of every day. God knows if you’ve been bad or good. So if you want to be healed or happy or prosperous you had better be good for goodness sake. If I do mess up I am scared to death that I will get a bad life or miss all that God has for me. So I put on the mask and try to be really good for Jesus. Hopefully I will be good enough to earn God’s love.

    Satan sells the lie so convincingly. But God and Santa are very different in their approach. God does not keep a list after we put our trust in the finished work of Jesus.

    God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.  Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (Ephesians 2:8-9, NLT)

    Jesus offers us so many gifts. But the one we seem to have the hardest time unwrapping is the gift of grace. The gift that allows us to become who God desires us to become as we simply trust Him and quit trying to be “good” for goodness sake. We are saved by grace and faith in Christ. We become like Him by the same radical strategy. Faith that He has changed us into a new creation. And understanding the grace that gives us good gifts even when we don’t deserve them.

    Don’t let the Santa Claus theology survive into the New Year. Go straight to the gift of grace that Jesus left under the Cross. Open it. And clothe yourself in His salvation, acceptance and love. It may be the best gift you have ever given yourself. It is a gift based on the performance of Jesus and not your own. Relax and receive it this Christmas.