Charisa Stories

Tag: grace

  • Feeling Like a Misfit this Christmas?

    Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year. I love the music, the memories, the traditions, and the chance to annually think about Burl Ives.

    His memory returns with my annual viewing of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Ives is the voice of Sam the Snowman who narrates the “enhanced” story of Rudolph.

    Rudolph and his elf buddy Hermey don’t fit in with the others. Rudolph looks different than his peers. Hermey is not interested in making toys. In an odd plot twist, Hermey wants to be a dentist. Not surprisingly, his elf supervisor is upset with the unproductive Hermey. So the two outcasts set off to find their purpose and a place to be accepted.

    The part of the story that resonates with me these days is when Hermey and Rudolph find their way to the Island of Misfit Toys. All of the toys on this island are castoffs because they are flawed and deemed worthless. There is a “Charlie in the Box” and a train with square wheels. A boat that sinks in water and a squirt gun that shoots jelly. All of these flawed toys are banished to the Island of Misfit Toys simply because they are different.


    That is how I picture so many sad and tired followers of Jesus. They see themselves as misfits. They believe they are flawed and not worth much of anything. They have allowed a perceived idea of what a “good” Christian should look like to cause them to feel like they don’t measure up. The doubts overwhelm them.  Discouraged followers of Christ start thinking thoughts like these.

    I don’t have theological training.
    I can’t sing well.
    I am not a good teacher.
    I am afraid to share my faith.
    I feel awkward in groups.
    I am not a leader.
    I don’t have much to offer.

    But that is not how the Bible describes a follower of Christ. Every Christian is described as being part of the body of Christ. Scripture makes it clear that every part of the body of Christ is vital to the healthy function of the church. Henri Nouwen wrote that every follower of Jesus has a God designed role.

    “We seldom realize fully that we are sent to fulfill God-given tasks. . . . We act as if we were simply dropped down in creation and have to decide how to entertain ourselves until we die. But we were sent into the world by God, just as Jesus was. Once we start living our lives with that conviction, we will soon know what we were sent to do.”

    So if you are feeling like a misfit toy this Christmas season you can trust this truth. You have a divine purpose. God does not make misfits. He creates people in His image with value and great worth. Satan would like you to retreat to your own island of misfits to feel sad and worthless. But God has another gathering place in mind.

    The Island of Grace. On that island you are not a misfit. You are a beloved child of God. You are a saint. And in this wonderful place there are no misfits. Every blemish makes you more valuable, not less. Brokenness makes you more beautiful. The miracle of Christmas makes us friends to the King. Paul made that abundantly clear with these words of encouragement to the Church in Rome.

    So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. (Romans 5, NLT)

    Friend of God? Hard to feel like a misfit if you believe that is true. Open that gift this year and keep it close to your heart.

    Merry Christmas!

  • The Danger of the Santa Clause is Coming to Town Theology

    I remember a Christmas past when I quizzed the grandkids what they had asked Santa to bring. After telling me their wish they followed up with this statement.

    “Unless we have been bad. Then maybe we won’t get it until next year.”

    I smiled and assured them that they were not bad. Parents have dangled that Santa “nice list” carrot to try and get good behavior for generations. Santa Clause is comin’ to town and you had better watch out because he is making a list. So no pouting, No crying. Better be on your best behavior or else. And that performance trap learned as a child waiting for Santa can also profoundly and dangerously impact Christians.  I am borrowing some content from my dear friend John Lynch, one of the authors of the The Cure. He addresses how we are programmed from childhood to default to performance theology. He calls it the “Santa Claus is Coming to Town theology”.

    You better watch out
    Better not cry
    Better not pout
    I am telling you why
    Santa Claus is comin’ to town
    He’s making a list….checking it twice…three times…every day
    Gonna find out who’s naughty and nice
    Santa Claus is comin’ to town
    He sees you when your sleeping, nows when your awake, he knows when you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake.

    Oh, he’s watching. Waiting for you to screw up so you will get coal instead of a bicycle. You had better please him. And we teach our kids to put on the mask and be something they are not. Because Santa Claus is comin’ to town. This omniscient being who is judging our every deed is coming to town…and we learn to do the dance early. Buck up…be good. Don’t cry. Don’t pout. Santa Claus is coming to town.  (©Copyright 2003, William Thrall, Bruce McNicol, John Lynch. All rights reserved. Unauthorized duplication prohibited.)

    He is exactly right. We learn that we get good things and receive love only when we are good and do good things. Santa is pleased (and we later substitute God) when we are good. So we learn early. We had better be good. Or least fool everyone around us to think that we are being good.

    I remember (vaguely) the tension of the Santa Claus years. I knew I hadn’t really changed much. I tried to modify my behavior for a week or two leading up to Christmas but I knew I had failed to be good. I learned how hard it is to change behavior by sheer willpower. I did not learn about grace. Instead of learning that Santa gave me gifts because I was loved I believed it was based on my performance.

    Isn’t that too often how we view God? We had better not cry. Better not sin. I’m telling you why. Jesus is coming to town. He’s making a list and He is checking it not once or twice but every moment of every day. God knows if you’ve been bad or good. So if you want to be healed or happy or prosperous you had better be good for goodness sake. If I do mess up I am scared to death that I will get a bad life or miss all that God has for me. So I put on the mask and try to be really good for Jesus. Hopefully I will be good enough to earn God’s love.

    Satan sells the lie so convincingly. But God and Santa are very different in their approach. God does not keep a list after we put our trust in the finished work of Jesus.

    God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.  Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (Ephesians 2:8-9, NLT)

    Jesus offers us so many gifts. But the one we seem to have the hardest time unwrapping is the gift of grace. The gift that allows us to become who God desires us to become as we simply trust Him and quit trying to be “good” for goodness sake. We are saved by grace and faith in Christ. We become like Him by the same radical strategy. Faith that He has changed us into a new creation. And understanding the grace that gives us good gifts even when we don’t deserve them.

    Don’t let the Santa Claus theology survive into the New Year. Go straight to the gift of grace that Jesus left under the Cross. Open it. And clothe yourself in His salvation, acceptance and love. It may be the best gift you have ever given yourself. It is a gift based on the performance of Jesus and not your own. Relax and receive it this Christmas.

  • Please Open This Gift Before Christmas

    Every follower of Jesus is offered the gifts of grace without any strings (or ribbons) attached. All of us have full access to these gifts. Paul writes that we are brought into right relationship with God entirely as a gift of His radical and amazing love. 

    When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, He saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he made us right in his sight and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life. (Titus 3:5-7, NLT)

    Grace is the best deal ever offered and yet we often resist opening this gift from our Lord. We can’t believe it is true. We fear it can’t be possible that we can be loved, accepted, and adopted when we know our behavior doesn’t deserve such love. 

    But that is the miracle of the gift of grace.

    A humorous Christmas song gives a clue to the mindset that makes it so hard to open the gift of Grace.

    The song “I’m Gettin’ Nuttin’ for Christmas” sums up the lie that Satan sells to every seeker of Jesus that your rewards are tied directly to behavior.

    I’m gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas
    Mommy and daddy are mad
    I’m getting nuttin’ for Christmas
    ‘Cause I ain’t been nuttin’ but bad 

    That seems about right to our performance based mindset. I have not done what I should have. God has to be disappointed and maybe even a little ticked off at me so I don’t deserve this grace. I need to buck up and try harder and THEN I will earn God’s love. What a sad misunderstanding of how God wants to relate to His children.

    The Christian life is a life of grace from beginning to end and it is all based on what Jesus has done for us and not on anything we have done for Him. We enter into this journey with Jesus by grace, we live it by grace, and we enter God’s eternal presence by grace.

    During the Christmas season children learn that they get good things when they are good. Santa is pleased (and we later substitute God) when we obey. So we learn early that we had better be good. Or least fool everyone around us to think that we are being good.

    I remember (vaguely) the tension of the Santa Claus years. I knew I hadn’t really changed much. I tried to modify my behavior for a week or two leading up to Christmas but I knew I had failed to really be good. 

    I carried that Santa process into my relationship with God. I need to behave better. Just like Santa we think that Jesus is making a list and He is checking it not once or twice but every moment of every day. God knows if you’ve been bad or good so if you want to be blessed and loved you had better be good or you will get nuttin’ from Him.

    Satan sells the lie so convincingly. And we buy it for months and years and even decades. I did.

    But God and Santa are very different in their approach. God does not keep a list. He is not impressed by our hernia inducing straining to control sin.

    God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.  Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (Ephesians 2:8-9, NLT)

    Jesus offers us so many gifts. Sometimes it seems we have the hardest time unwrapping the gift of grace. The stunning radicality of grace is that what seems to be too good to be true is more true than we can imagine. This unconditional love from God is unrelated to the emotions, expectations, and desires that taint our human love. I am choosing to believe that truth this Christmas. I am going to allow God to love me and not attempt to earn that love. I am not going to remind myself why I am not worthy. I am going to open my arms and my heart to His love. My feelings ebb and flow. God’s feelings for me are a consistent fountain of grace so I am going to jump in the fountain today and splash around with joy. 

    Receiving this gift is based simply on coming to Him in humble need. Go straight to the gift of grace that Jesus left under the Cross. Open it. And clothe yourself in His salvation, acceptance, and love. It may be the best gift you have ever given yourself. Unwrap the gift of grace without guilt this Christmas and rejoice in it everyday. It was left there just for you.

  • WWJA? What Would Jesus Ask?

    Followers of Jesus confidently proclaim that Jesus is the answer.

    I believe that.

    But it is fascinating to see how Jesus, the one with all the answers, dealt with those who asked Him questions. The Gospels record 183 times that Jesus is asked a question. He directly answered only three. That is not a typo. Three.

    If you want to do a little extra credit homework they are John 18:37, Luke 11:1, and Matthew 22:36-37. I was more that a little surprised when I first learned of those numbers.

    The Gospels also note that Jesus asked 307 questions. There is clearly something to be gleaned from these numbers. Without a doubt I believe that Jesus knew the answers. He also knew the heart and motives of the questioners. So why in the world would he deflect and ask a question instead of just answering directly with the perfect wisdom of God?

    The technique Jesus used most often was answering a question with a question. My feeling is that Jesus responded that way because He understood the nature of man. Many (if not most) of the questioners had already reached a conclusion before asking. Jesus knew that a perfectly timed question would often help validate a point that needed to be made. Sometimes the question exposed the hypocrisy of the interrogator. Perhaps the most important reason was answering a thoughtful query forced the people asking the question to think.

    One of the three questions Jesus answered directly from the list above was when a disciple asked “will you teach us how to pray”? I believe Jesus responding to questions with a question was likewise teaching us how to more effectively share the truth we so desperately desire to communicate.

    Jesus is teaching us to listen and initiate honest conversation. If a follower of Jesus comes across as a know it all it can diminish the grace Jesus offers to anyone seeking Him. Engaging in caring conversation opens the door to speak truth without condemnation.

    Jesus opened the door and invited those who were actually seeking answers to come inside and learn. Often His honest questions exposed those whose goal was to deny who Jesus said He was.

    Matthew described a moment when some religious leaders tried to shame the disciples of Jesus with this question.

    Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don’t wash their hands before they eat!”

    I can picture the smug expressions on the faces of the Pharisees. They did not see this question coming.

    Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition?” (Matthew 15:1-3)

    Jesus redirected a legalistic accusation into a question about the motivation of the Pharisee’s hearts. Powerful.

    A question that Jesus asked His disciples rocked my early career desire to seek money and power.

    “And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?” (Mark 8:36-37, NLT)

    Whoa! Wait! That was an important question I had to consider. As I have added considerable mileage to my spiritual journey odometer I have seen the answer to that question revealed so clearly. There is nothing in this world that matters more than the hope I have in Jesus for my eternal home and for the heavenly reunion with so many dear to me.

    But the most important question that Jesus asked in my humble opinion was recorded in Matthew 16. Jesus asked his disciples who the general population thought he was. They replied that some thought he was John the Baptist. Some felt he might be Elijah, Jeremiah, or another one of the prophets.

    I can picture Jesus listening intently and then asking the most important question any of us will ever answer.

    “But who do you say I am?”

    I tried to dodge that question for a period of time but I finally came to believe the response that Peter gave to Jesus.

    Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”

    Jesus replied, “You are blessed, Simon son of John, because my Father in heaven has revealed this to you.”

    Everyone who responds in that way is blessed. I am so grateful for the sacrifice Jesus made for me. I am so grateful for His daily grace and patience with me. I want to follow the example of Jesus and not try to have all of my answers cued up and ready to show my theological knowledge. I want to listen, ask questions, show love, offer grace, and engage others in a conversation that leads to an honest discussion of the Good News of the Gospel. I want to ask the kind of questions my Savior would ask and do it with His caring love.

  • Stop Fighting a Fight that’s Already Won

    A song by Big Daddy Weave cycled up on the playlist this weeend. “Redeemed” summed up my struggle over many years and encouraged me to know (again) that I am not alone in this battle.

    Seems like all I can see was the struggle
    Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past

    Bound up in shackles of all my failures
    Wondering how long is this gonna last

    Then You look at this prisoner and say to me “Son, stop fighting a fight that’s already been won”

    That is the truth I have to remind myself just about every day. The fight has already been won. Yet I too often live as if my self-effort is required to make up for past struggles and efforts. That I need to earn the grace that is already mine. I need to remind myself everyday what the lyricist proclaims next.

    I am redeemed, You set me free
    So I’ll shake off theses heavy chains
    Wipe away every stain now I’m not who I used to be
    I am redeemed

    I am redeemed. Paul spent a little over two years teaching and discipling the new believers in Ephesus. Not long after he left Paul received reports that those new hearts had reverted to old habits. Things were a bit of a mess and the word came back that the old behaviors of rage, immorality, lying, stealing, and gossip were resurfacing. Paul wrote a letter to address this sad turn of events. Yet the amazing thing to me is that the first three chapters never address their sin. Paul even calls them Saints for crying out loud! If I was writing that letter it would have had an entirely different tone. Something more along these lines. “What are you thinking? I am so disappointed in you. What is wrong with you? Do you know how much I sacrificed for you?” But Paul doesn’t do that. All he does is remind them who they are.

    Adopted
    Redeemed
    Sealed

    He chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of His will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

    In Him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In Him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in Him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of His glory. (Ephesians 1, ESV)

    Makes me feel a little better that folks who were mentored by Paul needed a refresher course in who they were. It makes me feel a lot better that Paul understood that the first thing on the list was to remind them of who they were and only then address their wrong behavior. We tend to reverse that order. One more line from this wonderful song by Big Daddy Weave…

    I remember oh God, You’re not done with me yet.

    Praise God for that! And praise God for His amazing grace and patience with this very slow learner.

  • The Key to Healthy Relationships

    I discovered a couple of years ago that a talented musician/producer/singer/songwriter from my hometown of Chillicothe, Ohio is my second cousin! Jerry Salley’s career in bluegrass, country, and gospel music has been remarkably successful.

    I am not sure how I missed knowing that but count me grateful I found out. His album, Bridges and Backroads, features a tribute to our mutual hometown of Chillicothe.

    One song resonates in my heart every time I listen to the album. Without Forgiveness opens during a wedding ceremony as the writer observes the starry-eyed love of a young couple. They are beginning a journey the lyricist knows will not always be idyllic. Relationships are hard and often messy. The chorus of the song sums up what that journey could look like if you choose the path of selfishness and pride.

    Without forgiveness,
    Life’s a long and empty road.
    Without forgiveness,
    We’d give up and just let go.

    I’ve had a long term and probably unhealthy envy of songwriters who can say more in a stanza that I can blabber out in a lengthy chapter. And this next lyric is powerful.

    Oh we never want to hurt each other,
    That’s just somethin’ that were gonna’ do

    We let often let relationships get away from us when we had no intention of wounding that person. Most of us bring baggage into relationships that can cause hurt. We can act out of childhood rejection and painful life experiences in ways we don’t even understand. But God has given us the tool to keep going.

    Forgiveness.

    Ruth Graham was once asked the key to making a marriage successful. Her insightful response was that “a great marriage is made up of two great forgivers.”

    The math is important there. It takes two great forgivers that understand this relational journey requires patience, love, grace, and forgiveness from both partners. Jerry Salley asks the question that many have had answered with heartbreaking results.

    And I hate to think what might become of me and you
    Without forgiveness

    There is a hope that is available to all of us. The song finishes by looking back to a blood stained hill on a Friday afternoon long ago. 

    People on a hillside stand there lookin’ up.
    To a Cross that says there’d be no hope for us,
    Without forgiveness

    That forgiveness from the finished work of our Lord Jesus Christ is the gift of grace that changes everything. 

    I imagine the heart of Jesus is saddened by our stubborn refusal to consider His forgiveness as the primary power to help us forgive others.

    There is fear on that road to forgiveness when you take your eyes off of Christ. Your heart cries out in protest. What if they reject, scoff or take advantage of my forgiveness? Jesus reminds us gently that He understands.

    When you break those chains of fear and allow God to heal your heart the weight of the world will lift off of your soul. It is a long road to forgiveness. Sadly, it is too often the road less taken. But it is the road that will make a difference in your journey with Jesus.

    Satan knows all too well how a world shown God’s love and grace would respond. So the enemy reminds us of grudges both real and enhanced. We turn from forgiveness because we decide our offender does not deserve it. There is no way I have found to release those grudges without the healing power of forgiveness. Author Will Davis wrote this powerful insight.

    “Once you decide to forgive, you initiate the healing process. Forgiveness gives your soul permission to move on to the higher and healthier ground of emotional recovery. Forgiveness is to your soul what antibiotics are to infection. It is the curative agent that will help to fully restore your soul. It doesn’t immediately remove the pain of offense but it does start you on the road to recovery.”

    I really like that perspective. The decision to forgive initiates but does not complete our healing. You will, in time, heal. I am asking you to pray that you can begin the healing process of forgiveness knowing that only time and God’s mercy can fully heal. That will start you down that road to forgiveness and empowerment to let go of the grudges that are weighing you down. You may not get there today or tomorrow. But you will never get there without taking the first step of faith. Paul reminds us that we have a powerful reason to be forgiving.

    “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

    We have been forgiven. We did not deserve that gift. Without forgiveness life’s a long and empty road. It doesn’t have to be that way. Jesus offers forgiveness. Accept that gift and give it freely to others. It is a much happier road to travel.

  • Are Thoughts and Prayers Bad?

    I have written about this trend but I think it is worth revisiting. After a tragedy or sad event it is a common social media reaction to attack people of faith for offering “thoughts and prayers”. These posters assume that anyone expressing those sentiments don’t really care about solutions to whatever problem is being addressed. We seem to have lost the ability to recognize two things can be true at once. I may get mocked and/or canceled by some for the following statement.


    I honestly believe I can desire cultural change while praying for ultimate hope available through Christ.

    I don’t force that on others. I try to live it although I know I do that imperfectly. That is the power of grace. I don’t have to be perfect for God to use me to love others. So there is the challenge for Christians in this season. How can we love those who assign terrible motives to what may be a completely sincere response? We start by seeing if anything in the criticism is valid.

    I spent 40 years in television production trucks so rough language doesn’t impact me much. But I have to admit the language and anger directed toward Christians who express “thoughts and prayers” is stunning. It is easy to dismiss such vulgar statements with defensiveness and anger. I have learned that there are many ways to address criticism. For too many years my preferred method was outright dismissal with a side of disdain. 

    I have been working on a project with former Pittsburgh Pirates manager Clint Hurdle. We discussed the criticism that both of us received in our careers. His was much more public than mine but I could at least relate. Clint said he learned to honestly evaluate even the ugliest criticism. He knew he could toss much of it away because he had evaluated his heart and motives in making a decision. But he also learned that sometimes there is a valid critique hiding in the vitriol. That bit of honest criticism is what he prayerfully took away while discarding the rest. So is there a lesson there for followers of Jesus?

    I think we can ask for God’s grace towards those who are judgmental and unkind. Believe me, I know that is not easy and not possible apart from His grace. I don’t mean the next statement to be condescending to those who do not share my faith because I have been on both sides. If I did not have the hope that there is more than this existence I would likely be just as frustrated and angry. 

    So if my faith is real I need to back up, show kindness, and continue to love those who might not show those same reactions toward me. 

    As for finding some valid criticism in the vitriol I will throw this out for you to “think and pray” about. When we type that we are sending “thoughts and prayers” I believe that Christians must also be looking for ways to show love through our actions. Thoughts and prayers need hands and feet displaying the love of Christ to have eternal impact. 

    It is hard to spend much time in the New Testament and not realize our challenge for Christians toward those hurting, in need, and devoid of hope. Here is a very small sample: 

    If anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? (1 John 3:17 , ESV)

    What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
    (James 2:14-17, ESV)

    Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:4 , ESV)

    The charge of hypocrisy leveled at the church has a lot to do with our obsession with sin management over living a life of kindness, grace, and service. If I am not living out of grace, then Jesus’ arms aren’t reaching as far as they could through me. Loving one another is clearly step one. The time to start making that a priority is today.

    So I am absolutely fine with your sincere expression of thoughts and prayers when people are hurting. But I am challenging myself and you to be willing to be the hands and feet that reflect the love of Christ. Don’t focus on the anger of those who don’t share your hope. Focus on the One who has given you hope in this challenging season and be a light in the darkness.