Charisa Stories

Tag: grace

  • Legalism Takes You Down A Lonely And Dead End Highway

    The start of my faith journey was mired in legalism. Starting down that rugged highway led me to years of sadness, tiredness, and performance bondage.

    I think that is why the song “Redeemed” recorded by Big Daddy Weave remains one of my favorite descriptions of what it means to understand the redemptive gift from Jesus. Lead singer Mike Weaver wrote Redeemed while feeling broken and inadequate despite recognizing God’s presence in his life. He said, “For as long as I can remember I have always never felt like I was enough.”

    I can so relate to the opening stanza of Redeemed.


    Seems like all I could see was the struggle
    Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
    Bound up in shackles of all my failures
    Wondering how long is this gonna last…

    I remembered day after day of agonizing self-loathing because I kept failing. I did not understand the mercy of Jesus nor did I believe I could fall on His grace. I was taught that such an attitude showed a lack of obedience and a dependence on “cheap grace”. Somehow I missed that obvious scriptural message from Jesus to his followers because I was influenced by the preaching of shame. Mike Weaver wrote how Jesus responds when we surrender and finally listen to His message of grace.

    Then You look at this prisoner and say to me “son…Stop fighting a fight that’s already been won”

    I was released from that doctrinal prison after spending too many years not understanding the fight had already been won.

    Legalism takes the sweet Gospel of Jesus Christ and mixes in some “churchified” version of the law. Church by-laws can occupy equal footing with God’s Word. Righteousness is no longer about Christ but about right behavior as only they can define it. Legalism cherry picks verses that support behavioral control while conveniently ignoring dozens of verses about grace, forgiveness, kindness, love, gentleness and forbearance.

    Focusing on right behavior can make you moral and perhaps a good person. It does not make you righteous. Such focus is not much different (if at all) from an agnostic or sporadic church-goer who really tries hard to do right and moral things. Tim Keller wrote this provocative thought about legalism in his wonderful book “The Reason for God”.

    “The devil, if anything, prefers Pharisees—men and women who try to save themselves. They are more unhappy than either mature Christians or irreligious people, and they do a lot more spiritual damage.”

    I spent many long and frustrating years trying to do all the right things to be righteous. I got tired. I became discouraged. I reached the point of brokenness that allowed me turn over the keys to Christ. I reached the point where I no longer had to be right. I had reached the point where I didn’t want to wear a phony mask of holiness. I had reached the point where I was willing to trust God completely with everything about me. I had reached the point where I was ready for grace.

    The chorus from Redeemed lifts my heart in worship!

    I am redeemed, You set me free
    So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
    Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be
    I am redeemed, I’m redeemed

    If you are tired enough, discouraged enough, wounded enough, and ready to give up then I have a very odd statement to make.

    You are in a wonderful place.

    You are ready for grace.

    Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace. (Romans 6, NLT)

    You are ready for change from the inside out. God is waiting for you to experience His grace. Legalism is a dead end street to misery. There is a better way to live.

    In freedom.

    In Christ.

    You are redeemed!

  • How Can Grace Change Our Faith Stat Sheet Completely?

    I lived for decades in the performance driven world of sports. We too often measured value not by character but by statistics like how many tackles for loss, field goal shooting percentage, or batting average. Character was a nice bonus but performance was king.

    I remembered a comment from former Northwestern University football coach Pat Fitzgerald about the impact of negative stats on a football player’s performance. Coaches often talk about the need to reduce “missed” tackles and they keep track of each miscue. Coach Fitzgerald had a different philosophy. His staff did not keep track of missed tackles at all. The staff evaluated each player by their effort even if it did not produce perfect results. His next comment stuck with me. “I don’t like to put negative results in their minds because you become what you think about.”

    It immediately hit me how profound that comment is for followers of Jesus. We tend to keep spiritual stats on failure. We beat ourselves up over “missed” opportunities. We fixate on what we have done instead of what Jesus has already done for us. We write our game plan to do better on the board.

    Don’t sin.
    Do better.
    Pray more.
    Study more Scripture.
    Be more forgiving.
    Less angry.
    More loving.

    And we try really, really hard to do all of those things. But the bad stats overwhelm and discourage us. We do sin. We don’t always forgive. We get angry. We don’t study or pray as much as we think we probably should. The net result is frustration and spiritual fatigue.

    I wrestled with idea of how we can deal with sin in my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace. 

    In Hebrews the text tells us to “strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”

    Even though it sounds like a daunting and even impossible task, the author of Hebrews sums up how to do that in one powerful sentence: “We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith” (Hebrews 12:1-2, NLT).

    That is it.

    There is no other way to consistently live that life apart from keeping our eyes on Jesus.
    The same is true for me. When I keep my eyes on Jesus, I have the strength to be bold and the ability to produce fruit that is pleasing to God. When our rambunctious Labrador Maggie could not settle down, I told her to sit so she could focus on calming down and doing the right thing. When she stayed and regrouped, things went well for her. When my thought life and actions cannot settle down, I need the Holy Spirit to firmly but lovingly tell me to sit . . .stay . . . abide.

    Only then do I realize that I have turned my eyes away from Jesus. When I stay, I can focus on His peace, love, forgiveness, and grace, and have the ability to resist sin. If I am anxious, fearful, have doubts, or am sad, I need to sit, stay, and abide, looking at the One who initiates and perfects my faith.

    What a difference between that approach and what too many of us experience. We tend to address the sin first. Stop that! Quit! Do better! And by the way, Jesus loves you. Or worse, He will love you when you do better. Paul always took the grace exit instead. Remember who you are! You are saints! Beloved! Adopted! Redeemed! Those same truths are ours to claim as we keep our eyes on Jesus. When we quit fighting to get better and do that one simple thing, something amazing happens. We get better.

    We do become what we think about. It is always a pretty good game plan to think about Jesus. And His gift of grace eliminates our spiritual shortcoming stats. Thank you Lord!

  • Why Would You Want To Be A Troublesome Christian?

    Because of my career path in secular television I have a lot of people very dear to me who do not share my faith and hope in Jesus. Some are simply disinterested. Some think their good works will outweigh their bad deeds and they will be granted entry to Heaven. Some think that faith in God is a foolish pursuit that no intellectually honest person would consider. Some have witnessed horrible actions of people claiming to be Christians. Some have experienced harsh and legalistic religious types who make living a life of faith miserable and emotionally damaging. Some are pushed away by those who share sincere beliefs in a way that does not show the love of God. 

    Any combination of these factors can cause people to step away or not pursue what it means to follow Jesus. I get it. I have struggled with many of those things over my long journey of faith.

    Brennan Manning wrote this very convicting observation. “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.” 

    It is easy to dismiss the hypocrite. No problem to ignore the angry and judgmental religious types. But before I came to faith I was troubled when I saw some Christians who displayed something different in their lives. I could not dismiss so readily the joy, peace, strength, courage, and love they modeled. They were “troublesome” Christians to me.  I could not ignore them because their lives were authentic and different (different good, not weird). 

    I wanted to be that kind of Christian. That is what any follower of Jesus should pray to become. Troublesome. When others look at your life they see kindness and grace when the circumstances call for anything but that response. That is troublesome to those observers. Or how about being a positive light when you are going through a difficult valley?
    Our spiritual season today is divisive because many in the church are losing focus on Jesus. You can be a “troublesome” Christian by listening to and loving those you disagree with. The truth must be presented through grace and love and through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. There must be unity in Christ first and then we can pursue political reconciliation with the proper light to guide us.

    Another way to impact those around you is to love and serve without looking for anything in return. That is being a “troublesome” Christian by simply following the commandment of Jesus.

    “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
    ‭‭John‬ ‭13‬:‭34‬-‭35‬, NLT

    That was not a helpful suggestion. Jesus made that command the cornerstone of following Him and the powerful way to prove that to others. So that is my desire. To love others as I have been loved by Jesus and be a “troublesome” Christian to those who aren’t sure about following Him. You can Google yourself away from faith by looking to find people who claim to follow Jesus and have failed dramatically. The Enemy makes sure we find those people and then encourages us to focus on that. What the Enemy tries to hide are the millions of faithful and loving followers of Jesus who make a difference every day without any fanfare or credit. They can be troublesome to those who desire to dismiss Jesus. I encountered troublesome believers in my early season of doubt who caused me to examine why they were so different, loving, kind, and graceful. God used them to open my heart toward Him. I want to be a troublesome Christian that God can use for His glory. And I want every bit of the credit to go where it should go. 

    Jesus.

  • Recovering From Legalism Is A Challenge

    I was introduced to Christianity in a church that put a legalistic leash on my behavior. By strict rules they believed they could force me to live a holy life. You can imagine how that worked out for a teenager in the Sixties. Our denomination reminded me of characters from the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail. We did not have the dreaded knights who said, “Ni” but we definitely had the dreaded congregants who said, “No.”

    I’m certain there were several volumes filled with things that were forbidden and, not surprisingly, most of them were man-made rules. Here is a sample platter of no-no’s I was asked to follow.

    NO movies. (Might have been in violation)
    NO drinking. (Too young so I got holiness points for this one)
    NO mixed swimming. (I kid you not)
    NO television. (The temptation of Mr Ed, The Beverly Hillbillies and Petticoat Junction was too strong. Violation.)
    NO cards. (More holiness points)
    NO rock-and-roll music. (Definitely in violation)
    NO smoking. (Nailed this one)
    NO slacks for women.
    NO long hair for men. (Deduct holiness points)
    NO makeup for women.

    I remember asking my godly grandmother what she thought about the no makeup rule. She smiled and gave this memorable reply. “If the barn needs a coat of paint I think you should paint it.” She was my first dispenser of grace.

    It’s not surprising that it took me a long time to figure out freedom in Christ. Ironically, there are a few verses that strongly emphasized the word “no” in the New Testament that our moralists somehow overlooked. For example, this little “no” verse would have come in handy (capitalization and italics added for emphasis).

    There is NO condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. Romans 8:1-2, NLT

    That would have been a refreshing mist of grace to our parched flock. Or how about these “NO” verses?

    This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is NO fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:17-19, NIV

    “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” The second is this: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” There is NO commandment greater than these. Mark 12:30-31, NIV

    Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps NO record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 1 Corinthians 13:4-6, NLT

    I have been crucified with Christ and I NO longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing! Galatians 2:20-21, NIV

    That is a very different “no” list than the first one.

    NO condemnation.

    NO fear.

    NO commandment greater than to love God and your neighbor.

    NO record of wrongdoing when you love one another.

    NO longer I who live but Christ who lives in me.

    I can be holy because of Christ and not because of my anguished rule keeping. There is joy and freedom in that second list.

    NO kidding.

    Parts of this article excerpted from Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace

  • Being A Light Of Love and Grace Can Help Change This Dark World

    I believe that God uses difficult circumstances to grow us in our faith. I will likely be canceled by some readers of this blog and that’s okay. Followers of Jesus need to focus on the life changing impact of the Gospel more than political rants. The lengthy political division in our nation has given us lots of opportunities to reevaluate priorities in our relationship with God and others. The frightening uncertainty of the past few years has also given followers of Jesus a chance to show how faith makes a difference in crisis. The results have been mixed. 

    I used to get angry and judgemental when those who identify as Christians didn’t live up to their title. Now I mainly feel sad at missed opportunities to show how Jesus makes a difference when we trust Him during trials. Christians should have a message of hope during this confusing and anxious season. Jesus followers should be demonstrating that trusting God gives peace and hope in dark times. A song by Thomas Rhett neatly summed up how Christians can be different in a good way. We are called to show a different path and a better way. 

    In a world full of hate, be a light
    When you do somebody wrong, make it right
    Don’t hide in the dark, you were born to shine
    In a world full of hate, be a light

    Jesus told His followers that we are to be a light to those around us.

    “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” (Matthew 5:14-16)

    I don’t know about you but those challenges from Jesus can feel daunting. Sometimes I don’t feel much like a light to the world. I feel more like the dimmest bulb in the Church Light Store. A quote from one of my favorite authors gave me hope.

    “Don’t shine so others can see you.  Shine so that through you, others can see Him.” ~C.S. Lewis

    For years I tried to patch the cracks with new disciplines and teeth gritting self-effort. Now I own each and every flaw and crack that allows the light of the Gospel into the dark corners of my soul. And when I am vulnerable to others they see that light shining right back through those same cracks of imperfection. And suddenly the command of Jesus is not so daunting because it has NOTHING to do with me. It is all about letting the light of the Gospel into my heart and sharing that light with others.

    “Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.””
    ‭‭John‬ ‭8‬:‭12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

    When I follow Jesus my good deeds flow out of gratitude and not begrudging obligation.

    Another of my favorite writers is 19th Century preacher Charles Spurgeon. He said this about the topic of light.

    “I would not give much for your religion unless it can be seen. Lamps do not talk, but they do shine.”

    Remember where your light comes from today and pray that you can be a light this week. Let your good deeds reflect the loving light of your Father. You might be amazed how much of a difference that can make. Way more than social media ranting.

  • God Has A Weight Loss Plan For The New Year

    Most of us see New Years Day as a fresh start. We make steadfast resolutions of how we are going to do better this year. The reality is that January 1st is just another day. We could just as easily resolve on May 18th or August 3rd that we are going to change how we live. But there is something psychologically powerful about New Year’s Day.

    The most cited resolutions generally include things like exercising more, saving more money, getting out of debt, and reading the Bible all the way through without getting bogged down in Leviticus and skipping directly to the Psalms. The most popular resolution year after year is losing weight.

    I thought I would be doing a real service if I gave you God’s Weight Loss Plan to take into 2026. This weight loss plan will make you healthier, reduce stress, give you more joy and cause you to grow in your relationship with the Lord. By following this no subscription, no monthly dues plan you can lose the weight of bitterness and anger caused from lack of forgiveness. If you are carrying around an unforgiving spirit it is weighing you down spiritually and emotionally.

    This is from a chapter on forgiveness I wrote in “Bring’em Back Alive – A Healing Plan for those Wounded by the Church”.

    • Forgiveness is not condoning or diminishing the offense. Forgiving a person who has wronged you does not mean they are “off the hook” for any consequences or judgment that may result from their actions. Forgiveness is a personal act of your will that releases the other person from your condemnation. At that point you have been obedient to what Jesus asks of you, the other person is responsible to God for their response as you trust God to see that justice is dispensed according to His Holy judgment and timing.
    • Forgiveness is not forgetting. The old forgive and forget admonition was one of the biggest barriers I faced in my journey to learn how to forgive. You know the old mental challenge to not picture an elephant in the room. You can’t do it. Instantly the image pops into your mind. The more I tried to be spiritually mature and try to forgive and forget the more my offender became the “elephant in the room.” That person or event was all I could think of. Over time you will think less and less of the hurt and/or the one who administered same.Trying to achieve a state of instantaneous forgetfulness is setting yourself up for failure and frustration.
    • Forgiveness does not require reconciliation. Certainly it is a worthy goal to have the gift of forgiveness lead to a restoration of a damaged relationship. But it takes two people to reconcile and you have no control over anyone’s response except your own. The other person may not respond graciously. They may not be ready to accept forgiveness or acknowledge their part or even desire to be reconciled. Reconciliation is not required to be obedient to the command of Jesus.
    • Forgiveness is an act of the will and is not a response to feelings. We must choose to forgive and trust the Jesus who forgave us to eventually change our feelings. We may not “feel” like forgiveness has transpired. If you decide to wait until you “feel” like forgiving or that the other person must make the first move you will remain spiritually stuck. We have to make the choice and then wait for God to honor the choice. We make a choice to forgive and then we have faith that the Holy Spirit will reshape our feelings over the course of time.
    • Forgiveness is not ignoring or excusing the offense. There is nothing to forgive if we have not been wronged. Jesus is not asking us to ignore reality. He is asking us to acknowledge how much we have been forgiven and to extend that gift of grace. It may well be undeserved. So was my forgiveness Jesus bought for me at the Cross. Forgiveness is acknowledging the offense without cover-up or excuse and still choosing to forgive.
    • Forgiveness is not denial of the hurt. Pride will often cause us to “not allow the person who hurt us the satisfaction” of knowing we are wounded. That is absurd. Acknowledge the reality of the injury but make the choice to be healed.
    • Forgiveness is eliminating revenge as an option. Lewis Smedes makes a brilliant point about revenge. No matter how much we try “we cannot get even; this is the inner fatality of revenge.” When you start trying to get even you have already lost. How many times must I gossip about you to get “even” for the hurt you caused me? When is the scale even? The truth proclaimed by Josh Billings is “there is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.”
    • Forgiveness means understanding that hurt is part of the faith tour contract that we signed when we decided to follow Jesus. Author David Stoop notes that, “People choose the Path of Bitterness when they get caught up in trying to understand the reasons for the offense. They think, if only they could understand why the other person did what he or she did, they could get over it and let it go.” I have three words for that approach. Does not work.

    The late author Lewis Smedes wrote that only forgiveness can “release us from the grip of our history.” We cannot change an abusive upbringing. We cannot alter dysfunctional theological training that denied grace. We cannot simply deny the hurts that have been visited upon us and be spiritually free. Only forgiveness can release us from the grip of these real and historical events.

    Forgiveness is not the cop out of weak people. The reason you need to forgive is that our Designer knew that is the only way for you to be fully healed. You have a Savior who understands the pain of betrayal. That is why Jesus gave up His glory in Heaven to take on flesh.

    Is forgiving easy? Of course not. I believe that forgiveness is the single hardest thing that Jesus asks us to do. But He knows how important forgiveness is for own growth. But why would you want to live in anger and carry the extra weight of an unforgiving spirit when Jesus has something better for you? The Apostle Paul’s wrote these words in Colossians.

    Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Col 3, NIV)

    That can lighten the weight of bitterness and anger as you trust God this year.

  • A Sacred Plan To Make Thanksgiving Day Special

    I encourage you to turn off the news Thanksgiving Day and concentrate on what you have to be thankful for this holiday. I think you might be surprised at how many good things you take for granted everyday. I love the concept of Thanksgiving. The idea that we collectively take a day to concentrate on the abundant blessings we have in this country.

    Thanksgiving Song by Mary Chapin Carpenter captures the intimacy of this wonderful holiday.

    Grateful for each hand we hold
    Gathered round this table.
    From far and near we travel home,
    Blessed that we are able.

    I have so much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for another year with my wonderful wife Joni. I am grateful for three wonderful sons, three amazing daughter-in-laws, and eight heart stealing grandchildren. I am blessed that our family is able to be together this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for good friends. I am grateful to be an American.

    Grateful for this sheltered place
    With light in every window,
    Saying “welcome, welcome, share this feast
    Come in away from sorrow.”

    Every year brings sorrow. Friends and family have suffered illness this year. Some have gone through deep trials. Some have passed away. Sorrow is a part of this journey. But there is something healing about counting blessings and feeling gratitude. Taking that time provides a sheltered place from sorrow. For me the light in the window of my soul is my trust in a God that is faithful, loving, and good in both blessings and in sorrow.

    Grateful for what’s understood,
    And all that is forgiven;

    Jesus is the light that said welcome when I felt anything but welcome. He invited me to the feast that I did not deserve to attend because of His grace. Jesus said I was forgiven. How can I be anything but grateful if I understand the magnitude of that undeserved love?

    We try so hard to be good,
    To lead a life worth living.

    I might add a little personal clarification to Carpenter’s lyric. I understand the desire to live a life of significance. I get trying to be good. I believe we have a reason for being here. But my experience with the grace of the Lord Jesus has taught me that it is not trying so hard to lead a life worth living that brings peace and joy. It is following Jesus each day. It is allowing God to love me and asking Him to help me give away that love to others. It is trusting God to provide opportunities to serve. It is believing that God is faithful even through sorrow. It is trusting that what God says about me is true. I am so grateful for grace. So very grateful.

    Paul’s words to the Colossian Church make a fitting devotional thought for this holiday.

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

    Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:12-17, NLT)

    I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving.