Charisa Stories

Tag: henri nouwen

  • Feeling Like A Nobody Just Might Be A Sign of Growth

    Feeling Like A Nobody Just Might Be A Sign of Growth

    My life odometer keeps adding mileage. No matter how hard I try I cannot roll it back. Part of acquiring higher mileage is getting some hard earned perspective on your life decisions. Some of my decisions were good. Some benign. Some not so good. Some truly regretful.

    That is life.

    The encouragement I have discovered is that even the really bad decisions can be redeemed by the grace of God. D.L.Moody was one of the greatest communicators of the Gospel in church history and a great Christian university bears his name. One of my favorite Moody quotes is about the learning curve of Moses. Moses ended up having a fairly decent impact for God.

    “Moses spent 40 years thinking he was somebody; 40 years learning he was nobody; and 40 years discovering what God can do with a nobody.”

    I have to adjust the numbers for my life. I spent 40 years thinking I was somebody. Twenty years learning I was nobody apart from the grace of God. I now am looking at (fill in the blank someday) years praying and seeking to see what God can do with a nobody.

    This is not about groveling in self-loathing. Far from it. It is simply acknowledging the liberating recognition of my dependence and need for God.

    All of us have a purpose. Here is an excerpt from my book Stay about purpose. The book chronicles the spiritual lessons I learned from a couple of rescued dogs. My canine friend Hannah understood who she was and lived out of that identity every day.

    Hannah was predestined to swim, run, and retrieve. That is the destiny of any retriever. Hannah does not try to be anything else. Even as a puppy, she chased anything we tossed her way and eagerly brought it back. We did not have to spend one minute training her. It was as natural as breathing for Hannah. Retrieving was her purpose and passion.

    That was the lesson for today from my four-legged mentor. I have also been created with a purpose. In fact, every person has a God-designed destiny whether they believe it or not. Henri Nouwen wrote about living with that frame of mind.”We seldom realize fully that we are sent to fulfill God-given tasks. . . .We act as if we were simply dropped down in creation and have to decide how to entertain ourselves until we die. But we were sent into the world by God, just as Jesus was. Once we start living our lives with that conviction, we will soon know what we were sent to do.”

    Living out of who you are is liberating. The apostle Paul had some thoughts about such a life when he wrote to the church at Ephesus.

    God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:8-10, NLT)

    Think about that! You were rescued from the death of sin by grace. It was a gift that could not be earned. And you are a new creation, indeed a masterpiece for whom good things were planned from the beginning of time. How can followers of Jesus possibly have self-image issues? When we believe the lies.

    Taken from Stay by Dave Burchett copyright © 2015

    Don’t believe the lies. The irony of God’s plan is that we become important when we quit thinking we are important. God can do amazing things with nobody’s who are trusting and willing.

    Read the first chapter of Stay:Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace by clicking this link.

  • Feeling Like a Misfit this Christmas?

    Feeling Like a Misfit this Christmas?

    Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year. I love the music, the memories, the traditions, and the chance to annually think about Burl Ives.

    His memory returns with the annual airing of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Ives is the voice of Sam the Snowman who narrates the “enhanced” story of Rudolph.

    Rudolph and his elf buddy Hermey don’t fit in with the others. Rudolph looks different than his peers. Hermey is not interested in making toys. In an odd plot twist, Hermey wants to be a dentist. Not surprisingly, his elf supervisor is upset with the unproductive Hermey. So the two outcasts set off to find their purpose and a place to be accepted.

    The part of the story that resonates with me these days is when Hermey and Rudolph find their way to the Island of Misfit Toys. All of the toys on this island are castoffs because they are flawed and deemed worthless. There is a “Charlie in the Box” and a train with square wheels. A boat that sinks in water and a squirt gun that shoots jelly. All of these flawed toys are banished to the Island of Misfit Toys simply because they are different.


    That is how I picture so many sad and tired followers of Jesus. They see themselves as misfits. They believe they are flawed and not worth much of anything. They have allowed a perceived idea of what a “good” Christian should look like to cause them to feel like they don’t measure up. The doubts overwhelm them.  Discouraged followers of Christ start thinking thoughts like these.

    I don’t have theological training.
    I can’t sing well.
    I am not a good teacher.
    I am afraid to share my faith.
    I feel awkward in groups.
    I am not a leader.
    I don’t have much to offer.

    But that is not how the Bible describes a follower of Christ. Every Christian is described as being part of the body of Christ. Scripture makes it clear that every part of the body of Christ is vital to the healthy function of the church. Henri Nouwen wrote that every follower of Jesus has a God designed role.

    “We seldom realize fully that we are sent to fulfill God-given tasks. . . . We act as if we were simply dropped down in creation and have to decide how to entertain ourselves until we die. But we were sent into the world by God, just as Jesus was. Once we start living our lives with that conviction, we will soon know what we were sent to do.”

    So if you are feeling like a misfit toy this Christmas season you can trust this truth. You have a divine purpose. God does not make misfits. He creates people in His image with value and great worth. Satan would like you to retreat to your own island of misfits to feel sad and worthless. But God has another gathering place in mind.

    The Island of Grace. On that island you are not a misfit. You are a beloved child of God. You are a saint. And in this wonderful place there are no misfits. Every blemish makes you more valuable, not less. Brokenness makes you more beautiful. The miracle of Christmas makes us friends to the King. Paul made that abundantly clear with these words of encouragement to the Church in Rome.

    So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. (Romans 5, NLT)

    Friend of God? Hard to feel like a misfit if you believe that is true. Open that gift this year and keep it close to your heart.

    Merry Christmas!

  • Think You Don’t Have a Purpose in Life?

    Think You Don’t Have a Purpose in Life?

    Psalm 139 is one of the most inspiring Psalms in Scripture and it was the inspiration for my book Waking Up Slowly. We don’t know when David wrote this stirring account of God’s indescribable attributes. Some believe he wrote it as a shepherd while gazing at the stars and the enormity of the heavens. Some feel he wrote it when he became king over Israel. As a more experienced human being myself it certainly feels like David had to have lived a little more life in order to write such a majestic dialog with God. But the truth is we just don’t know. In this amazing Psalm David made three observations about the greatness of God.

    1. God knows everything about us.
    2. God is everywhere we are.
    3. God ordains everything about you.

    One thing the Psalmist clearly proclaims is that we are not accidents and there is a purpose for you and me.

    You know me inside and out,
        you know every bone in my body;
    You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
        how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
    Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
        all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
    The days of my life all prepared
        before I’d even lived one day.
    Psalm 139:13-16 (The Message)

    We are known by God, We are watched over by God. We are ordained by God. You are not an accident nor am I. You are here for a reason. Henri Nouwen frames it beautifully.

    “We seldom realize fully that we are sent to fulfill God-given tasks. We act as if we were simply dropped down in creation and have to decide how to entertain ourselves until we die. But we were sent into the world by God, just as Jesus was. Once we start living our lives with that conviction, we will soon know what we were sent to do.”

    Everyday has the potential to do something or learn something that will alter someone’s life and even eternity. What an amazing thought that God can use someone like me for His purpose. I find that a remarkable example of His grace. But I forget that. I am known, cherished and ordained by God for His purpose. So are you. Every day matters and every moment matters.

    This Psalm also inspired my children’s book about God’s purpose for all of His creatures. Grunt the Runt Finds His Purpose is the story of a little puppy with a big heart. Grunt learns that God creates every one of His creatures with a special role to fulfill but sometimes the journey to find that path is tough. Grunt finds his way into a service dog training program for military veterans. You will be touched by the heartwarming completion of Grunt the Runt’s determined and successful trek to find his purpose. 

    To honor Veteran’s Day we are going to donate $5 from EVERY book sale from my online store to Patriot Paws Service Dogs.You can help further their vital mission to help disabled American veterans find canine companions. And every copy will be autographed at no charge.

    Help make a difference in the life of a deserving veteran today.

    Click here now to support this cause and enjoy an inspiring story of a true underdog.

  • Truths I Wish I’d Known in High School

    Truths I Wish I’d Known in High School

    In just a couple of weeks I will be traveling to my hometown of Chillicothe, Ohio to celebrate my 50th High School Reunion. Wow! That is a lot of mileage on the life odometer and you can’t roll it back. A few years ago my great-niece asked my advice about navigating the emotional ups and downs of the high school years. Here is what I told her.

    1.    I wish I had known that my high school years did not define me for life

    My teen years were a mixed bag of memorable highs and incredible lows. Now I realize that I am grateful for what I once considered some of the difficult moments of my life. In many of those spiritual valleys you could not have begun to convince me that God was molding me or that those experiences could ever be of value.

    Had I been the coolest guy or the best athlete I most likely would not have developed a sensitive spirit to others. With the benefit of hindsight I can promise you that I am grateful for every refining difficulty and problem. High school did not define who I would become and it does not define you either.

    2.     I wish I had known that every person is created in God’s image…and He loves them just as much as He loves me

    Sparky Anderson, a former Cincinnati Reds manager, once said that “you can never go wrong being classy.” And you can never go wrong being kind to everyone. Sometimes you will be tempted to ridicule or tease those who are less attractive, intelligent, gifted, or cool. Don’t do it. High school is the start of a very long journey. Some people seem to be leading the life race coming out of high school turn but there is a long way to go. The real winners know that life is a marathon and that God has a plan for that long race. Be kind to everyone. Jesus loves them. And so should you.

    3.    I wish I had known in high school that I needed to take responsibility for my own actions

    Learn now to say these three sentences.

    I was wrong.
    I am sorry.
    Forgive me.

    And keep your “but” out of those statements. Don’t say “I was wrong ‘but’ I didn’t think it would hurt you” or “I am sorry ‘but’ I was having a bad day.”  Those are not real apologies. Take responsibility. Live with integrity. That will make you unique in this culture!

    4. I wish I had really believed that God had a plan for my life

    Every person has a God-designed destiny whether they believe it or not. Henri Nouwen wrote about living with that frame of mind.

    We seldom realize fully that we are sent to fulfill God-given tasks. . . . We act as if we were simply dropped down in creation and have to decide how to entertain ourselves until we die. But we were sent into the world by God, just as Jesus was. Once we start living our lives with that conviction, we will soon know what we were sent to do.

    Living out of who you are is liberating. The apostle Paul had some thoughts about such a life when he wrote to the church at Ephesus.

    God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:8-10, NLT)

    Think about that! You were rescued from the death of sin by grace. It was a gift that could not be earned. And you are a new creation, indeed a masterpiece for whom good things were planned from the beginning of time. How can followers of Jesus possibly have self-image issues? Only when we believe the lies.

    5.  I wish I had known that the most important decision I will ever make is who or what I worship

    Everyone one worships something or someone. It can be money or power or fame or popularity or another person. We have a deep yearning to find our purpose and significance. If you don’t find that identity and significance in Christ you will tend to fill it with wrong things. Often those things are not inherently bad. But they can become bad things when they become the focus instead of Jesus. We used to sing a camp song with these lyrics..

    Seek ye first the kingdom of God
    And His righteousness
    And all these things shall be added unto you

    There is nothing wrong with these “things” when you seek the kingdom of God first.

    6)  I wish I had known that God’s grace is the key to freedom

    In high school I learned quite clearly that my performance was the key to my acceptance. I transferred that belief to my relationship with God. That was a spiritual stumbling block until I learned the remarkable truth of God’s grace. I finally learned that it was Jesus’ performance for me that makes me accepted by God and not my good behavior for Him.

    Grace allows me to quit trying to be righteous and actually begin to be righteous as I focus on the One who gave me the gift of grace. Grace allows me to deal with sin instead of trying to manage and rationalize it. Grace is real and powerful. It is not weak or cheap. If you think grace is cheap, go to the foot of the Cross, look up, and see what grace price was paid for every person on earth. Grace should never be my cover for sin. Instead grace is my only hope to deal with it. Grace makes me tremble when I think of an almighty and powerful God who loved someone unlovable like me. Why would He give such a gift to an unworthy child? And how could I be comfortable taking advantage of that amazing grace? I cannot. I pray that I will not. Grace is compelling. I want it to be compelling in my life as well. Real grace works. Love grace with abandon.


    God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.
    (Ephesians 2:8, NLT)

    I know that most of us have to learn the lessons of life the hard way. I am still learning after all of these years how to follow Jesus more consistently. He is so incredibly patient and loving as I stumble along. Add that to the list of things I wish I had known and believed.

    An excerpt from this blog came from Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace. Click here for more info.

  • You Are Not an Accident!

    You Are Not an Accident!

    Psalm 139 is one of the most inspiring Psalms in Scripture and it was the inspiration for my book Waking Up Slowly. We don’t know when David wrote this stirring account of God’s indescribable attributes. Some believe he wrote it as a shepherd while gazing at the stars and the enormity of the heavens. Some feel he wrote it when he became king over Israel. As a more experienced human being myself it certainly feels like David had to have lived a little more life in order to write such a majestic dialog with God. But the truth is we just don’t know. In this amazing Psalm David made three observations about the greatness of God.

    1. God knows everything about us.
    2. God is everywhere we are.
    3. God ordains everything about you.

    The Psalmist clearly proclaims that we are not accidents and there is a purpose for you and me.

    You know me inside and out,
        you know every bone in my body;
    You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
        how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
    Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
        all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
    The days of my life all prepared
        before I’d even lived one day.
    Psalm 139:13-16 (The Message)

    The thought that God has an ordained plan for our lives is a difficult idea to wrap our finite minds around. I am writing these words as we head into the Christmas season. I faithfully watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” every Christmas. That classic movie reminds me that I am here for a reason. It is easy to think that our lives have fallen short of the dreams we once had. Remember the exuberant dreams that George Bailey shared with Mary during the movie? He had his life planned out and knew exactly how it would look.

    “Mary, I know what I’m gonna do tomorrow and the next day and the next year and the year after that. I’m shaking the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I’m gonna see the world. Italy, Greece, the Parthenon…the Coliseum. Then I’m coming back here and go to college and see what they know and then I’m going to build things. I’m gonna build air fields. I’m gonna build skyscrapers a hundred stories high. I’m gonna build bridges a mile long.”

    None of that happened. Not one part of it. His dreams had to be put aside to support his family. He lived a successful but humdrum life that fell apart after his Uncle Billy lost a huge deposit. The family business was about to be bankrupted and in the process many in his beloved community would be dramatically impacted or even ruined. There seems to be no hope and George wishes that he had never lived. An angel named Clarence (probably like the one I would get assigned) shows him what would have happened if that wish had come true. What if God had not put George Bailey in Bedford Falls? You likely know the rest of the story. George sees how many people and events his seemingly mundane existence had changed for good. His actions had even led to saving dozens of lives.

    The awkward angel Clarence makes this simple but profound observation.

    “Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”

    Indeed.

    The movie powerfully illustrates the truth of Psalm 139. We are known by God, We are watched over by God. We are ordained by God. You are not an accident nor am I. You are here for a reason. Henri Nouwen frames it beautifully.

    “We seldom realize fully that we are sent to fulfill God-given tasks. We act as if we were simply dropped down in creation and have to decide how to entertain ourselves until we die. But we were sent into the world by God, just as Jesus was. Once we start living our lives with that conviction, we will soon know what we were sent to do.”

    Everyday has the potential to do something or learn something that will alter someone’s life and even eternity. What an amazing thought that God can use someone like me for His purpose. I find that a remarkable example of His grace. I am known, cherished and ordained by God for His purpose. So are you. Every day matters and every moment matters.

    Our goal is to make that more real in our daily experience.

    My brand new book children’s book Grunt the Runt Finds His Purpose illustrates in a heartwarming story how all of God’s creatures have a purpose. I hope you share Grunt’s story with the kids and grandkids in your life.

  • Lessons from Covid Class

    Lessons from Covid Class

    Life is full of wonderful moments and blessings. Life also has it’s share of dark valleys and scary storms. None of us gets out of this life unscathed. In the valleys of my life I have taught myself to step back and ask this question. What can God teach me in this trial about Him or about myself?

    This seemingly never ending Covid pandemic has been rife with lessons.

    Lesson #1

    Control freaks have learned a really hard truth from Covid-19. It doesn’t matter one whit how much money, power, or prestige you had accumulated by March of 2020 because Covid rudely stole your ability to control your life. It is funny to search the term “control freak” on the internet and find that so many people try to paint being a controlling person as a positive. I have worked with control freaks and I can tell you the experience for those around them is not pleasant. It is a suffocating and deflating leadership style.

    Quotes about Control freaks (69 quotes)

    This is a particularly distressing trait for followers of Jesus. I think this unpredictable virus exposed a lot of us. We said we trusted God. We wore t-shirts that boldly proclaimed Faith over Fear. But having our health, financial security, and fellowship with others threatened rocked our faith to the core. The only honest reaction is no matter how hard we try to control things we simply cannot. Only God is in control and our attempts to think otherwise is fool’s gold. Author Wayne Dyer said this about the folly of control.

    “It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there’s nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.”

    I have seen that truth played out over and over during this season. People of faith are immobilized by fear and worry. I am not diminishing one iota the reality or seriousness of this virus. I am saying that the One in ultimate control will get me through this crisis just like He has been at my side through every other one. Jesus promised He would be steadfast and present in every moment. Covid has not changed that truth.

    “My sheep recognize my voice. I know them, and they follow me. I give them real and eternal life. They are protected from the Destroyer for good. No one can steal them from out of my hand. The Father who put them under my care is so much greater than the Destroyer and Thief. No one could ever get them away from him. I and the Father are one heart and mind.” (John 10:27-30, The Message)

    I am not in control. Never have been. Never will be. It is nice to know that the one thing I can control is my eternal destiny in Christ.

    Lesson # 2

    We really, really, really need one another. Virtual replaced actual contact and at first that seemed okay. The dictionary definition of virtual is revealing.

    adjective: virtual

    1. almost or nearly as described, but not completely or according to strict definition.

    The key word in that description is ALMOST. Virtual is not the same as real contact. The Zoom meetings and Skype calls only vaguely resemble actual interaction and I was surprised at how quickly that substitute failed to satisfy my need for fellowship.

    God designed us for human relationships when He proclaimed it is not good for us to be alone. Adam didn’t come up with that idea. It was the creator who knew how His creation was wired.

    Henri Nouwen brilliantly summarized the need for community.

    “Christian community is the place where we keep the flame of hope alive among us and take it seriously so that it can grow and become stronger in us.”

    Covid extinguished that flame. We lost that comforting touch or reassuring facial expression that helped fan the flame of hope. Losing community was a bigger deal than most of us imagined. Peter wrote about suffering and even the prospect of the final days. I find it interesting that Peter made this the most important task in those dire circumstances.

    “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8, NLT)

    We can do that. We can’t control our circumstances. But we can express love through phone calls, messages, and safely distanced encounters. Knowing that you are loved and missed helps a lot. Whenever a person comes to mind send a text or drop a note. You never know how much that brief time detour might mean to someone.

    Lesson #3

    We need to be patient with all of the different responses our fellow sojourners have to this pandemic. This is the hard one for me. There are some really judgmental and harsh indictments of people who view how we should address this virus differently. I really believe that most of us are trying to do the right thing in a very confusing sea of conflicting information. So I default to Paul’s words to the church at Colossae when I feel frustration with some folks responses.

    Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:13-17, NLT)

    If I marinate in that passage it seems that my judgment and frustration melt away allowing grace to bubble up. Those are my lessons from Covid. What have you learned?


  • Can We Quit Pointing Fingers?

    Can We Quit Pointing Fingers?

    I recently tuned my satellite radio to see what was going in Washington (D)ysfunctional (C)hildren). Within a minute I regretted my decision. Both sides were attacking and demeaning the other’s motives, integrity, and decency. My mood turned sour. Then I flipped to another channel and the first song I heard was a duet from Mandisa and TobyMac.

    These lyrics immediately grabbed my heart.

    Are you left?
    Are you right?
    Pointing fingers, taking sides
    When are we gonna realize?

    We all bleed the same
    We’re more beautiful when we come together
    We all bleed the same
    So tell me why, tell me why
    We’re divided.

    Why indeed? One thing I am sure of is that hateful rhetoric never, ever, ever changes a heart. Followers of Christ have a message of hope and light that is desperately needed. But we get caught up in the politics of our world and too often snuff out that light. I have been guilty more than I care to think about.

    I fear our culture will get darker in the days and months ahead. Followers of Christ have to make a decision. We can decide to complain that Christians are no longer respected and valued in the culture. Or we can decide to show the kind of kindness, forgiveness, grace, and love that early Christians demonstrated to change a hostile culture. Christianity really functions best as the underdog. We can ask God to give us the strength and grace to be a light in the darkness.

    What does that mean? During a British conference on comparative religions, experts from around the world debated what, if any, belief was unique to the Christian faith. They began eliminating possibilities. Incarnation? Other religions had different versions of gods’ appearing in human form. Resurrection? Again, other religions had accounts of return from death. The debate went on for some time until C. S. Lewis wandered into the room. “What’s the rumpus about?” he asked, and heard in reply that his colleagues were discussing Christianity’s unique contribution among world religions. Lewis responded, “Oh, that’s easy. It’s grace.”

    Perhaps the fact that grace and forgiveness are rare commodities in this society is a big reason we see such anger and hopelessness.

    Our natural reaction to those who denigrate our faith is to strike back. Jesus knew this would happen and He had some very radical instructions.

    “But I say to you who are listening: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. (Luke 6:27-28,  NET)

    I wonder what God could do if we followed those words?  And if we remembered that we all created in the image of God but our different experiences and stories divide us. They don’t have to.

    If we’re gonna fight
    Let’s fight for each other
    If we’re gonna shout
    Let love be the cry
    We all bleed the same
    So tell me why, tell me why
    We’re divided

    Henri Nouwen is exactly right with this statement. “If anyone should ask you what are the most radical words in the gospel, you need not hesitate to reply: “Love your enemies.” It’s these words that reveal to us most clearly the kind of love proclaimed by Jesus.”

    It is time to quit pointing fingers. If we are going to fight let’s fight for each other. I want to represent the kind of love proclaimed by Jesus. We all bleed the same.