Charisa Stories

Tag: jerry salley

  • The Key to Healthy Relationships

    I discovered a couple of years ago that a talented musician/producer/singer/songwriter from my hometown of Chillicothe, Ohio is my second cousin! Jerry Salley’s career in bluegrass, country, and gospel music has been remarkably successful.

    I am not sure how I missed knowing that but count me grateful I found out. His album, Bridges and Backroads, features a tribute to our mutual hometown of Chillicothe.

    One song resonates in my heart every time I listen to the album. Without Forgiveness opens during a wedding ceremony as the writer observes the starry-eyed love of a young couple. They are beginning a journey the lyricist knows will not always be idyllic. Relationships are hard and often messy. The chorus of the song sums up what that journey could look like if you choose the path of selfishness and pride.

    Without forgiveness,
    Life’s a long and empty road.
    Without forgiveness,
    We’d give up and just let go.

    I’ve had a long term and probably unhealthy envy of songwriters who can say more in a stanza that I can blabber out in a lengthy chapter. And this next lyric is powerful.

    Oh we never want to hurt each other,
    That’s just somethin’ that were gonna’ do

    We let often let relationships get away from us when we had no intention of wounding that person. Most of us bring baggage into relationships that can cause hurt. We can act out of childhood rejection and painful life experiences in ways we don’t even understand. But God has given us the tool to keep going.

    Forgiveness.

    Ruth Graham was once asked the key to making a marriage successful. Her insightful response was that “a great marriage is made up of two great forgivers.”

    The math is important there. It takes two great forgivers that understand this relational journey requires patience, love, grace, and forgiveness from both partners. Jerry Salley asks the question that many have had answered with heartbreaking results.

    And I hate to think what might become of me and you
    Without forgiveness

    There is a hope that is available to all of us. The song finishes by looking back to a blood stained hill on a Friday afternoon long ago. 

    People on a hillside stand there lookin’ up.
    To a Cross that says there’d be no hope for us,
    Without forgiveness

    That forgiveness from the finished work of our Lord Jesus Christ is the gift of grace that changes everything. 

    I imagine the heart of Jesus is saddened by our stubborn refusal to consider His forgiveness as the primary power to help us forgive others.

    There is fear on that road to forgiveness when you take your eyes off of Christ. Your heart cries out in protest. What if they reject, scoff or take advantage of my forgiveness? Jesus reminds us gently that He understands.

    When you break those chains of fear and allow God to heal your heart the weight of the world will lift off of your soul. It is a long road to forgiveness. Sadly, it is too often the road less taken. But it is the road that will make a difference in your journey with Jesus.

    Satan knows all too well how a world shown God’s love and grace would respond. So the enemy reminds us of grudges both real and enhanced. We turn from forgiveness because we decide our offender does not deserve it. There is no way I have found to release those grudges without the healing power of forgiveness. Author Will Davis wrote this powerful insight.

    “Once you decide to forgive, you initiate the healing process. Forgiveness gives your soul permission to move on to the higher and healthier ground of emotional recovery. Forgiveness is to your soul what antibiotics are to infection. It is the curative agent that will help to fully restore your soul. It doesn’t immediately remove the pain of offense but it does start you on the road to recovery.”

    I really like that perspective. The decision to forgive initiates but does not complete our healing. You will, in time, heal. I am asking you to pray that you can begin the healing process of forgiveness knowing that only time and God’s mercy can fully heal. That will start you down that road to forgiveness and empowerment to let go of the grudges that are weighing you down. You may not get there today or tomorrow. But you will never get there without taking the first step of faith. Paul reminds us that we have a powerful reason to be forgiving.

    “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

    We have been forgiven. We did not deserve that gift. Without forgiveness life’s a long and empty road. It doesn’t have to be that way. Jesus offers forgiveness. Accept that gift and give it freely to others. It is a much happier road to travel.

  • Jesus Loves the Broken Ones

    Jesus Loves the Broken Ones

    We all go through hard seasons in life. Recently I have had to walk with some very dear friends through dark valleys. I had to say goodbye to one close friend. Actually, I had to say “see you later”. I rejoice in the hope of our heavenly reunion someday.

    I love when God sends an unexpected blessing when you are crushed by the weight of this world. My sweet wife Joni calls them “Postcards from God”. I received an electronic post card recently.

    Regular readers of these humble ramblings know that I have become a fan of bluegrass singer, songwriter, and producer Jerry Salley. His song about our mutual hometown of Chillicothe, Ohio still fills my heart with warm memories of my small town upbringing. I absolutely fell in love with his lyrical storytelling. We connected on a professional level and I sent him a couple of my books.

    In late June I received my postcard. Jerry began reading my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace. He asked his Mom if she knew a Dave Burchett from Chillicothe.

    “I do know him. You’re related.”

    It turns out my grandmother and his grandmother were sisters. This talented artist is my second cousin! I felt a little better because I always wondered where the family musical talent had gone. Cousin Jerry took it all. We have had the most amazing exchange of memories since our revelation of being related.

    I had previously written about his powerful song “Without Forgiveness” and a song about leaving a legacy titled “How I Want to Be Remembered”. Another sweet story hit my heart while listening to Jerry’s catalogue of music.

    A song called the Broken Ones has been recorded by Jerry and also by a group called the Amundruds. The lyrics describe a little girl named Maggie who pulls a Raggedy Ann doll out of a neighbor’s trash can. The doll is missing an arm and one button eye hangs on by a thread. She finds a place for this broken one with her other dolls. The chorus is touching as it describes the heart of this young girl.

    She loves the broken ones, the ones that need a little patching up
    She sees the diamond in the rough and makes it shine like new
    It really doesn’t take that much, a willing heart and a tender touch
    If everybody loved like she does, there’d be a lot less broken ones.

    Years later Maggie is working at a shelter when a young drug addict stumbles in lost and hopeless. Maggie embraces her and invites this broken soul into that safe place. She helps the young woman find healing.

    The lyrics go on to describe how many viewed Maggie as a hero because of her heart for those who are broken. She deferred the credit to someone else.

    If you call her and angel, she’ll be quick to say to you
    She’s just doing what the One who died for her would do.

    She was simply doing what Jesus does. He loved the broken ones. The song ends with this addition to the chorus.

    If everybody loved like Jesus, there’d be a lot less broken ones.

    Amen.

    The message of the song is spot on. Jesus loves the broken ones.

    This journey is not easy. Never will be. One of the big mistakes we make in sharing our faith is making it seem like all troubles are over when you embrace Christianity. That is not in the contract. We will still have problems and heartaches and even tragedies. King David wrote these words while escaping down a broken road.

    The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;       
    he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.  Psalm 34:18

    There are so many brokenhearted people who simply need a caring heart. Warren Wiersbe beautifully describes why we should not be quick to condemn.

    “I am not as critical as I used to be, not because my standards are lower, but because my sight is clearer. What I thought were blemishes in others have turned out to be scars.”

    In the Gospel of John Jesus talked about the Holy Spirit coming to be our advocate and comforter on this earth. He left this amazing promise that I cling to more fervently everyday.

    “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. (John 14:27, NLT)

    I am experiencing that peace even in this difficult season. I am not afraid because I know without a doubt that He loves the broken ones. That is my assurance today.

  • Life Is Too Short To…

    Life Is Too Short To…

    A couple of weeks ago I wrote about quitting negativity. It’s hard to stop griping cold turkey but I am doing better. Recently I have had some honest conversations that showed me the debilitating impact of a negative spirit.

    One person shared his deep hatred for people of one political persuasion. Another felt totally hopeless about the divisions in our culture.

    I shared with both that my hope was in Christ and not in Washington. I pray that I planted a seed of hope in their hearts. Those conversations generated two strong emotions. I was deeply saddened that my friends did not share my hope in Christ. And I was more convinced than ever that I want to be a positive light in this increasingly dark world.

    Last year I became aware of a very talented songwriter/singer from my hometown of Chillicothe, Ohio. Jerry Salley writes songs that inspire and give hope. One of my favorites is titled “Add More Life to My Days” and you can hear it on Jerry’s CD Bridges and Backroads. The lyric starts with a unrealistic wish for life.

    I wish we all could live at least until we’re 90
    Without any aches, or pains, or a cloudy mind
    I wish everyone could taste the kind of love they dream of finding
    And get to see their ship come sailin’ in at least one time

    Wouldn’t that be wonderful? But Jerry knows the truth of life on this fallen planet.

    I’ve been here long enough to know
    That ain’t the way it always goes

    Jesus never promised all smooth sailing as we waited for our ship to come in.

    “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew 6:34, NLT)

    Tomorrow will bring worries and troubles? Where is our hope in that? Jesus has the answer.

    “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NLT)

    Jesus tells me to not worry about future troubles. He promises peace and victory over the world. One more promise from Jesus is found in Matthew 6:33.

    Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously,
    and he will give you everything you need.

    That doesn’t mean live perfectly. It simply means to be humble, trust God, love one another, and He will provide your needs. We misunderstand that promise if we think that means getting everything you want. What a promise to hang on to in these difficult times that the God of creation will provide my daily needs.

    The chorus of Jerry Salley’s song talks about the uncertainty of our lifespan. But he does have a wonderful suggestion for the days we are given.

    So if I’m one of those travelers whose journeys gets cut short
    And leave the ones I leave behind wishin’ I had more time
    All I can say is I can’t add more days to my life
    So I’ll add more life to my days

    I love that. I can’t personally add a single minute to my life but I can choose to add more life to the time I am granted. I can definitely choose to be present and joyful each day. Every day is a gift of grace. I believe everyday has sacred moments so I can pray the Holy Spirit will give me eyes to see and savor those moments. Paul was sitting in a Roman prison as he finished his letter to the Church at Philippi. Could there be a more unlikely circumstance to coin these words to his fellow sojourners?

    Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! (Philippians 4:4, NLT)

    So if you want to add more life to your days here is a little checklist.

    • Quit worrying about tomorrow.
    • Be joyful in the Lord. Rejoice!
    • Look for sacred moments everyday.
    • Love God and one another.

    And for today’s conclusion I give Paul the final word.

    And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9)

  • Contemplating Life Without Forgiveness

    Contemplating Life Without Forgiveness

    I recently discovered an immensely talented musician/producer/singer/songwriter from my hometown of Chillicothe, Ohio. Jerry Salley’s career in bluegrass, country, and gospel music has been remarkably successful.

    I am not sure how I missed hearing about his music but count me grateful I found him. His most recent album, Bridges and Backroads, was produced during the pandemic year and it features a tribute to our mutual hometown of Chillicothe.

    But one song keeps resonating in my heart as I listen to the album. Without Forgiveness opens during a wedding ceremony as he observes the starry-eyed love of a young couple. They are beginning a journey the writer knows will not always be idyllic. Relationships are hard and often messy. The chorus of the song sums up what that journey could look like if you choose the path of selfishness and pride.

    Without forgiveness,
    Life’s a long and empty road.
    Without forgiveness,
    We’d give up and just let go.

    I’ve had a long term and probably unhealthy envy of songwriters who can say more in a stanza that I can blabber out in a lengthy chapter. And this next lyric is powerful.

    Oh we never want to hurt each other,
    That’s just somethin’ that were gonna’ do

    We let often let relationships get away from us when we had no intention of wounding that person. Most of us bring baggage into relationships that can cause hurt. We can act out of childhood rejection and painful life experiences in ways we don’t even understand. But God has given us the tool to keep going.

    Forgiveness.

    Ruth Graham was once asked the key to making a marriage successful. Her insightful response was that “a great marriage is made up of two great forgivers.”

    The math is important there. It takes two great forgivers that understand this relational journey requires patience, love, grace, and forgiveness from both partners. Jerry Salley asks the question that many have had answered with heartbreaking results.

    And I hate to think what might become of me and you
    Without forgiveness

    There is a hope that is available to all of us. The song finishes by looking back to a blood stained street on a Friday afternoon long ago.

    People on a hillside stand there lookin’ up.
    To a Cross that says there’d be no hope for us,
    Without forgiveness

    That forgiveness from the finished work of our Lord Jesus Christ is the gift of grace that changes everything. I wrote about the process in my book Waking Up Slowly.

    I imagine the heart of Jesus being broken by our stubborn refusal to consider His forgiveness extended to us and consequently refusing to lean on His power to help us forgive.

    There is fear on that road to forgiveness when you take your eyes off of Christ. Your heart cries out in protest. What if they reject, scoff or take advantage of my forgiveness? Jesus reminds us gently that He understands.

    When you break those chains and allow God to heal your heart the weight of the world will lift off of your soul. It is a long road to forgiveness. Sadly, it is too often the road less taken. But it is the road that will make a difference in your journey with Jesus.

    Satan knows all too well how a world shown God’s love and grace would respond. So the enemy reminds us of grudges both real and enhanced. We turn from forgiveness because our offender does not deserve it. But there is no way I have found to release those grudges without the healing power of forgiveness. Author Will Davis wrote this powerful insight.

    “Once you decide to forgive, you initiate the healing process. Forgiveness gives your soul permission to move on to the higher and healthier ground of emotional recovery. Forgiveness is to your soul what antibiotics are to infection. It is the curative agent that will help to fully restore your soul. It doesn’t immediately remove the pain of offense but it does start you on the road to recovery.”

    I really like that perspective. The decision to forgive initiates but does not complete our healing. You will, in time, heal. I am asking you to pray that you can begin the healing process of forgiveness knowing that only time and God’s mercy can fully heal. That will start you down that road to forgiveness and empowerment to let go of the grudges that are weighing you down. You won’t get there today or tomorrow. But you will never get there without taking the first step of faith.

    Waking Up Slowly: Spiritual Lessons from My Dog, My Kids, Critters, and Other Unexpected Places

    Without forgiveness life’s a long and empty road. It doesn’t have to be that way. Jesus offers forgiveness. Accept that gift and give it freely to others. It is a much happier road to travel.