Charisa Stories

Tag: Jesus

Connect 21: Day 17 – Words Matter…A Lot

I am saddened, sickened, disturbed, and frightened at how the word hate is being hurled around in our national discourse. Red-faced politicians spew vitriol at those they disagree with. It can be an honest and complicated issue, but they reduce the debate to hating their opponents. Author James Baldwin made this insightful observation:

“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.”

Isn’t that the truth? It is so much easier to demonize than to understand. It is up to me and to you to change the discourse. The politician’s favorite tactic of justifying bad behavior with other bad behavior does not work with a holy God. Frankly, I am grateful He loves me too much to give me a pass on my blindness. Pastor Mark Mitchell is one of many people who has reflected on Rabbi Joseph Telushkin’s assessment of the power of words.

Rabbi Telushkin, author of Words That Hurt, Words That Heal, has lectured throughout this country on the powerful, often negative impact of words. He often asks audiences if they can go 24 hours without saying any unkind words about, or to, another person. Invariably, a small number of listeners raise their hands, signifying “Yes.” Others laugh, and quite a few call out, “No!”
Telushkin responds, “Those who can’t answer ‘yes’ must recognize that you have a serious problem. If you can’t go 24 hours without drinking liquor, you’re addicted to alcohol. If you can’t go 24 hours without smoking, you’re addicted to nicotine. So if you can’t go 24 hours without saying unkind words about others, then you’ve lost control over your tongue.”

Hate is a very serious word to use when talking about anyone, and especially another believer. As Christians, we simply do not have that option. Try to avoid these verses at your own peril.

If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer,
that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see,
how can we love God, whom we cannot see? (1 John 4:20)

If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is still living in darkness.
(1 John 2:9)

Ouch. It’s very clear—and uncomfortable to hear—that I need to pray for those I disagree with in the faith community. But beyond that, I think we need to be extraordinarily prayerful about throwing the hate card at anyone.

Martin Luther King Jr. had some legitimate reasons to hate, but he chose not to. His words have not lost their power:

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

Another courageous African-American, Booker T. Washington,
made a similar choice.

“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.”

I know there are some people who are so evil that they seem unredeemable outside of a true miracle. But I have found that the majority of folks who disagree with me are generally decent people, when I take the time to hear their stories and get to know them. We hate people we don’t know and, without a doubt, that suspicious attitude prevents us from ever engaging with them.

I have decided to severely curtail my use of the word hate. I am making the choice to permit no man to degrade my soul by making me hate. And for the spiritual hall monitors, be aware that I am not going squishy on sin. There are actions, attitudes, and sins that I hate.

I have to remind myself that the actions that make me angry are the result of our fallen nature and sin. Hating people will not fix either of those issues. I can’t influence hearts by using inflammatory words. Words do matter. A lot.

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly Book

April 6, 2020
21 Connect: Day 16 – Get Over Yourself

Valuing everyone is how Jesus lived. He modeled that with women, children, people with physical and mental challenges, lepers, social outcasts, and sinners. He served the weak and loved the unloved. He created the template for how the New Testament church should look if it functions biblically.

How did the early church explode and multiply against all odds? By serving selflessly, recklessly, and fearlessly. There was nothing comfortable about spreading the news about Jesus in the days, months, and years after His resurrection.

The apostles understood after the Cross what Jesus had been trying to tell them earlier. That the world measures greatness on an entirely different scale from the one that God uses. Remember that debate among the apostles? They had the criteria for greatness completely wrong.

They began to argue among themselves about who would be the greatest among them. Jesus told them, “In this world the kings and great men lord it over their people, yet they are called ‘friends of the people.’But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. Who is more important, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course. But not here! For I am among you as one who serves.” Luke 22:24-27

The best way to take your eyes off your own circumstances is to serve others. Even as Jesus faced the horror of the Cross, He was serving others. Martin Luther King Jr. said it well: “Everybody can be great . . . because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”

Every person in the body of Christ can serve in some way. It may be running errands for a seasoned citizen who can no longer drive. It may be babysitting for a harried young mom. It may be providing a meal to a family dealing with illness. It may be calling or visiting a lonely person. Sometimes listening is one of the greatest ways to serve others. Maybe one subtle way to serve is simply appreciating those people whom you work and live with in community.

The Carrot Principle, a book by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton, determined that appreciation might well be the missing accelerator for happiness and self-esteem. Based on a ten-year study in which two hundred thousand people were interviewed, the authors conclude that appreciation tops the list of things employees say they want from their bosses. For those who worked in offices with high morale, an amazing 94 percent reported that they were shown appreciation. Not surprisingly, when employees quit, nearly 80 percent cited lack of appreciation as the number one reason.

We have a fundamental need to be affirmed. The authors of The Carrot Principle were surprised at how sparingly this blessing is given to others. I suspect it is often in short supply in our faith communities as well. That is a wonderful way you can serve others. Simply affirm and bless them in their gifts and skills.

Serving can be the smallest gesture, or it can be a selfless response to a crisis. I absolutely love the slogan that the Salvation Army has been using recently: “We combat natural disasters with Acts of God.” That is a powerful thought. We as the body of Christ commit “acts of God” by loving, helping, and healing those who suffer from a disaster, or sometimes just from life. My insurance policy outlines “acts of God” as a way to diminish liability. My understanding of God’s Word is that we have increased liability when others need help.

I pray that I will be willing to commit an “act of God” whenever I see a hurting person. When a student is struggling and needs mentoring, you can commit an “act of God.” When a family does not have money during this financial crisis, your “act of God” will make the difference. When someone is feeling blue, you can affirm and lift that person’s spirits by simply being present and caring. Jesus taught that these things we do are acts for God.

The king will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty
and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.” Then the righteous will answer Him, “Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed you, or thirsty, and give You
something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite you in, or naked, and clothe you? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?” The King will answer and say to them, “Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.” (Matthew 25:34-40, NASB)

Part of the journey to be more connected to God and others is simple. Get outside yourself by serving and affirming others. The rewards are remarkable.

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly Book.

April 5, 2020
21 Connect: Day 14 – The Power of Prayer

I remember hearing a wonderful story about a prayer that was spoken in a little country church. The new pastor called on one of his older deacons to lead in the opening prayer. The deacon stood up, bowed his head and said, “Lord, I hate buttermilk.”

The pastor opened one eye and wondered where this was going. The deacon continued, “Lord, I hate lard.” Now the pastor was totally perplexed. The deacon continued, “Lord, I ain’t too crazy about plain flour. But after you mix ’em all together and bake ’em in a hot oven, I just love biscuits.
“Lord, help us to realize when life gets hard, when things come up that we don’t like, whenever we don’t understand what You are doing, that we need to wait and see what You are making. After you get through mixing and baking, it’ll probably be something even better than biscuits. Amen.”

We make prayer so complex and hard. Philip Yancey wrote that “most of the great books on prayer are written by ‘experts’— monks, missionaries, mystics, saints. I’ve read scores of them, and mainly they make me feel guilty.”

I can relate to that! So I decided to see what an expert had to say about prayer. That is exactly why the disciples came to Jesus and asked for His help on how to pray. They had watched Him pray. They knew how important prayer was to Jesus. Now they asked Him to teach them. Here is Luke’s “pray-by-pray” of that moment:

One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.”
He said to them, “When you pray, say:
‘Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.
And lead us not into temptation.’” (Luke 11 : 1-4 , NIV)

Over much of my fumbling, bumbling Christian journey, I would skip straight to the “give us our daily bread and forgive us our sins” parts of that prayer. I managed to miss the most important foundational aspect of this insightful prayer. The first fundamental is contained in the opening word.

Father.

I get to relate to God as my Father! That privilege comes only from my relationship with Jesus. Noted preacher Haddon Robinson stated that in the entire Old Testament, God is called Father only seven times, and it is always in respect to the nation of Israel. There is never a recorded instance where
any individual dared to address the Sovereign God as Father. Now Jesus comes on the scene, and Robinson writes about the amazing contrast:

“Yet in the New Testament, at least 275 times, that is how we are instructed to speak to God. Because of Jesus’s death and resurrection, when we come to the sovereign majesty of the universe the word that should fall readily from our lips is Father.“

That is a game changer! I can come to the God of the universe, who knows my sin, my weakness, and my failure, and call Him Father! Are you kidding me? Pastor Tim Keller puts that in amazing perspective.

“The only person who dares wake up a king at 3:00 AM for a glass of water is a child. We have that kind of access.”

Think about that for a moment.

Jesus stated an interesting truth right before His instructions on how we should pray.

When you pray, don’t babble on and on as the Gentiles do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need
even before you ask him! (Matthew 6:7-8, The Message)

So why even go through the effort if He knows already? Because it creates relationship with God. Jesus obviously did not mean to indicate that prayer is not vital. Look at His own example!

Whenever Jesus faced a great challenge, He met it with prayer and Scripture. He steeled Himself for the agony of the Passion with hours of prayer. I have not met any adversity that I could not face when I meet it with God’s Word and presence in prayer. This is one place where it is okay to be constantly “plugged in.”

Excerpted from Waking Up Slowly Book

April 3, 2020
21 Connect: Day 13 – Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Comparison is poison to the soul. I either contrast myself to someone doing something better than me and feel downcast, or I measure myself to someone failing and feel better.

Perhaps that is my cue to refer to the Instruction Manual again. Paul writes about this very problem that was happening in the church at Corinth:

Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant! (2 Corinthians 10:12)

Writer Ann Voskamp notes that we try to measure how we are doing with imperfect—and even dangerous—measuring sticks:

Measuring sticks try to rank some people as big and some people as small—
but we aren’t sizes. We are souls. There are no better people or worse people—there are only God-made souls. There is no point trying to size people up, no point trying to compare—because souls defy measuring.

At the beginning of my book Waking Up Slowly I quoted Psalm 139, detailing how God uniquely wove together each of our individual DNA to create the one and only me and the one and only you. He knew us before we were formed, and He has ordained our days. Paul unpacks that even more in Ephesians:

It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone. (Ephesians 1:11-12 , The Message)

I am not an accident. I have a purpose in God’s plan. I have a role in God’s overall purpose. And I have a specific calling as a gift of grace. Being content with who you are really is a heart issue grounded in the truth of who you are according to Scripture.

How I wish that I could see myself as God sees me. Because of what Christ did on my behalf, God sees me as a saint. Forgiven. Valuable. Needed. What I often see is the same old failure who can’t dance, fix anything, or live consistently for God.

We see those smiling families and couples on social media and think they
are experiencing some alternate life that has eluded us. I’m sorry to break the news, but there are no perfect people or perfect families.

My fear is that we have created a culture where we feel there is something wrong with us if we are hurting. If I am struggling, I must be doing something wrong spiritually. Shouldn’t God meet this need? What is wrong with me? The fact that God created me with a desire to be in community
tells me that part of His plan is for me to be helped by other members of the body of Christ. But I think I am falling short by comparing myself to false images of people who are not being real.

Anne Lamott weighs in with her typical, unvarnished
honesty:

“Everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy, and scared, even the people who seem to have it more or less together. They are much more like you than you would believe. So try not to compare your insides to their outsides.”

Being broken, clingy, scared, and screwed up is spiritual soil prep for the seed of grace to grow.

I am not sure if writer John Mason had a biblical worldview in mind when he came up with the title for his book “You’re Born an Original, Don’t Die a Copy”, but he is theologically spot on. We are uniquely and completely designed for our roles in the body of Christ. Don’t try to imitate another part. The biggest danger to missing our lines in the production
called life is comparison. Relax and be you. No one compares
to you!

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly.

April 1, 2020
21 Connect: Day 12 – Kindness is Contagious

The apostle Paul laid out the challenge for followers of Jesus in his letter to the church in Ephesus:

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

I used to be impressed by talent and prestige. Now I find that I am more impressed by kindness. Billy Graham observed how we all—especially children—benefit from a little kindness:

“Often the only thing a child can remember about an adult in later years, when he or she is grown, is whether or not that person was kind.”

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the sadness and problems around me. Sometimes I think it is a hopeless world we live in. But I can do something. I can be kind. Edward Everett Hale once said, “I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do.”

I am not trying to shovel guilt on you or myself. Maybe we should be more intentional about being the body of Christ, rather than relying on government programs to do our job for us. I want the grace that God has given me to make my heart sensitive toward the poor as well as toward hurting and spiritually seeking people. It is hard to spend much time in the New Testament and not realize our challenge to be the body of Christ. Here is a very small sample:

If anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 1 John 3:17 , ESV

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
James 2:14-17, ESV

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 , ESV

The charge of hypocrisy leveled at the church has a lot to do with our obsession with sin management over living a life of kindness, grace, and service. If I am not living out of grace, then Jesus’ arms aren’t reaching as far as they could through me. Kindness is clearly step one.

Kindness doesn’t require great skill or advanced degrees. I can be kind with a PhD or a GED. I do not have to like someone to be kind. I have to remember that kindness means disconnecting from devices, so I can actually see and react to those around me. Kindness is powerful. Kindness tears down walls. Kindness builds trust.

Kindness shows the love of Christ through my imperfect efforts. As a Christian, kindness gives those I encounter a reason to listen to my message of redemption and grace. In return, I will be changed, receiving the greater gift.

I think writer Alexander MacLaren summarized it beautifully:
“Kindness makes a person attractive. If you would win the world, melt it, do not hammer it.”

Kindness is contagious and that is something we should run toward and not distance from. Especially now.

Taken from Waking Up Slowly

March 31, 2020
21 Connect: Day 11 – Worrying Steals the Moment

“Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

Worry steals joy and peace from its victims. Our Designer knew when we left the factory that worry is destructive. Jesus addressed the topic a couple of millennia ago:

That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Matthew 6:25-27

Worries certainly cannot add a moment to your life. Jesus continues in the same message:

So don’t worry about these things, saying, “What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?” These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. Matthew 6:31-34

Our Designer knew something else. Most of what we consume ourselves with never happens or is not worth getting agitated about. Again, modern research comes along to verify ancient wisdom.

A Cornell University research study examined how many times an imagined calamity actually came to pass. In this study, subjects were asked to write down their worries over an extended period of time, and then identify which of their imagined misfortunes did not actually happen. The results were remarkable—85 percent of what subjects worried about never happened! Slow down and digest that. Eighty-five percent of what we work ourselves into varied states of frenzy about never even happens. And here is what is more remarkable. For the 15 percent of the worry agenda that did happen, nearly 80 percent of the respondents reported they were able to deal with the concern better than expected or they learned a valuable lesson from the event. So 97 percent of what the majority of this study group worried about was not worth wasting the energy, faith, and time on.

Today’s grace suggestion is not easy, but it could be an important step forward. Living in fear of the future cheats you out of today. A precious moment tugs on your heart like a child at your sleeve. Too often you stub your toe on that sacred moment while concerning yourself with something that won’t happen or will happen in a way that your worry cannot change. That is exactly where the enemy wants to keep you and me as children of God, with our eyes on worry and not on God.

Trusting Jesus for tomorrow, next week, next year, and forever frees us to see what this moment holds. Poet Maya Angelou said, “We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends and living our lives.”

Indeed.

The inevitable is, well, inevitable. No amount of worry will change the fact that we will face sadness, adversity, and death, a huge challenge for most of us. I have seen how worry consumes those I love. My ever-
worrying dad used to remark that I was not a worrier. I would respond with a smile on my face. “I know you’re on that job, Dad, so I don’t need to duplicate your efforts.”

If I do struggle with worry, I remember that my heavenly Father is on the job, not as a worrier, but calling me to know Him, trust Him, and rest in Him. I can safely give my worries to God. If I can remind myself when worry prevails that God is for me and that He loves me, then I can trust Him with tomorrow and beyond.

Excerpted from Waking Up Slowly

March 29, 2020
21 Connect: Day 10 – Gratitude Rhymes with Attitude

Gratitude is a mind-set, and I am praying that the response of appreciation can become a lifestyle for me, with some practice. It is easy to be grateful for the good things. Accepting with thankfulness the bad and sorrowful takes faith and trust that God is faithful with His children. I cannot claim to be grateful until I can simply say thank you for everything that comes my way, recognizing that every event will bring joy, character, perseverance, or ultimately, glory to God.

Roman philosopher Cicero wrote that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” Hmmm. I can see how that plays out. I forgive others out of gratitude for my own forgiveness. I give grace because I am grateful I was offered grace when I did not merit that gift. I give to those less fortunate out of gratitude for my financial blessings. Cicero might have been on to something.

The psalmist knew the power of giving thanks for the blessings of life.

On your feet now—applaud God!
Bring a gift of laughter,
sing yourselves into his presence.
Know this: God is God, and God, God.
He made us; we didn’t make him.
We’re his people, his well-tended sheep.
Enter with the password: “Thank you!”
Make yourselves at home, talking praise.
Thank him. Worship him.
For God is sheer beauty, all-generous in love,
loyal always and ever.
P s a l m 1 0 0 : 1 – 5 , The Message

I got a chuckle thinking about having to log in to access God in prayer. Using the password “thank you” would be a pretty good way to prepare my heart, and a reminder every time to appreciate all of my blessings.

I know that some seasons of life are difficult, and some days you just hope to survive. But I think that the majority of us would admit that we can find something to be grateful for, even in moments of frustration. Gratitude is the stabilizer for my spiritual walk. I think I can make a pretty good case that growing a grateful heart is the foundational attitude of the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

It is that important. Gratitude keeps me from envy, if I can mentally pivot to the many things I am blessed to enjoy. Gratitude keeps me from anger, if I can be grateful for how patient God is with my myriad of shortcomings. Gratitude keeps me from frustration, when it reminds me how much worse things could be. I have programmed a trigger into my gratitude response.

When I start getting cranky about my back pain, I think of those who live in constant pain. I become grateful that my pain is not constant, and I am reminded to pray for them. A simple mind- set change can take me from self-pity to prayer for others. I am also being prompted to pray for anyone who makes me angry with his or her thoughtlessness or rudeness. What is hurting that person’s heart so much that the response is filled with such venom? Full disclosure . . . I am not there yet. But when I can respond with an attitude of gratitude, it is the most freeing feeling. Maybe that is the best way to be grateful consistently. When I get outside my little world and see the suffering and sadness around me, I fall to my knees in thanksgiving for how fortunate I am.

Do everything without complaining and
arguing, so that no one can criticize you.
Live clean, innocent lives as children of
God, shining like bright lights in a world
full of crooked and perverse people.
Philippians 2 : 14 – 15

March 29, 2020