Charisa Stories

Tag: Jesus

  • How To Quieten The Negative Voices In Your Head

    I turn the volume way up every time Lauren Daigle’s song “You Say” plays. The lyrics perfectly describe the battle that most of us fight to believe that what God says about us is true. Here is a sample of her powerful lyrics.

    I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
    Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
    Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
    Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know…

    I wrote about this topic in my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace.

    I am drawn to wounded and dysfunctional people like a moth to light. When I hear their stories, I see a familiar pattern. They tend to believe that all the old junk in their lives is still true about them in God’s eyes. Too many followers of Jesus cannot believe they are a new and holy creation.

    Recently I saw a T-shirt with this message: “Even if the voices in my head aren’t real they do have some good ideas”.

    I got an initial chuckle out of that one. But then I thought, Wait! The voices in my head rarely have good ideas.

    I suspect that is true for some of you as well. Sadly, the voices in our heads are real, formidable foes, voices that were programmed from childhood. Negative comments from parents, teachers, coaches, siblings, friends, fellow Christians, and assorted others have laid down deeply grooved tracks in my self-image soundtrack mix. Favorite cuts like these are always cued and ready to be played.

    “You will never change.”
    “What were you thinking?”
    “I can’t believe you did that again.”
    “What is wrong with you?”
    “I am so disappointed in you.”

    And the number one accusation on my personal Top 10 countdown . . .

    “How could you be so stupid?”

    When you mess up, the voices begin. And then your own voice joins the chorus. “It is true. I am not worthy. I am not enough. I am stupid. I don’t deserve to be loved.”

    When you face disappointment, rejection, failure, loss, and trials, self-incriminating remarks flood your mind.

    Why wasn’t I a better (pick one) spouse/friend/brother/sister/relative?”
    “If I had done (insert action), this would not have happened.”
    “Why didn’t I (insert missed opportunity) when I had the chance?”
    “Why did I (pick one or more) work too much/travel too much/whatever too much when I should have been there?”

    If I may lean on my sports background here, Satan calls the all-out blitz when people of faith go through seasons of trial and doubt. He delights in accusing and trying to rock the very foundation of your faith. Satan is, always has been, and always will be a liar. You have learned to never trust a liar at work or in other relationships. How much more should we pray to recognize and reject the lies that Satan attacks us with during adversity?

    There is another voice. It is much softer and requires more effort to hear. It is not a voice of shame. It is a voice of hope, love, acceptance, forgiveness, and grace. You have to slow way down and be quiet to hear this voice. That is the loving voice of God and His word.

    Lauren Daigle’s lyrics describe this voice poetically.

    You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
    You say I am strong when I think I am weak
    You say I am held when I am falling short
    When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
    And I believe, oh I believe
    What You say of me
    I believe

    All of us hear those voices from the enemy. The voices from bad experiences in our past may require counseling to help erase them. But for the everyday challenges of the journey, I have learned that the voice we tend to hear first in the spiritual battle is the loud one. Step back, be still, and listen for the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit.

    Our God is a God of forgiveness. We need to fix our eyes on Jesus. Don’t lose heart. Don’t allow the enemy to keep you from leaning on God for comfort because of your shame. That is not from the Lord.

    In John we read this amazing promise.

    But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.(John 1:12, NLT)

    Don’t believe the lies. You are a child of God. Beloved. As Lauren Daigle sings this truth I pray that we will believe it today.

    The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
    In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity,

    It is true. I believe!

    Excerpts taken from Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace

  • I Am Unashamed Of My Faith in Jesus

    Matthew West is one of my favorite Christian songwriter/singers. His lyrics are both inspiring and applicable to my journey. I need both of those.

    His song “Unashamed” hit my heart the first time I heard it. Matthew West opens with stories of faithful servants of God followed by a couple of challenging questions.

    So, what’s gonna be said of me
    When it’s all said and done?
    Will I stand for my beliefs
    Or will I turn around and run?

    Part of the challenge of being a follower of Jesus is withstanding the criticisms from many around you. I worked in a secular industry with many who doubted the reality or need for faith in God. Some felt you were weak if you needed Jesus. Some thought you were brainwashed or, even worse, braindead if you believed in God. They delivered accusations to defend their narrative and my response was always honest.

    Accuser: A lot of Christians fall way short of who they should be. They don’t act at all like this Jesus they talk about.

    Me: Agreed. Actually all followers of Jesus fall short of living like him. Part of the love and grace of Jesus is to patiently help sincere followers grow in our journey to be more like him. His love and forgiveness are the same on our best and worst days.

    Accuser: I know so many hypocrites.

    Me: Yep. Me too. Hypocrites also exist on the non-faith side. My message for 40 plus years is don’t reject Christ because of Christians. Your faith decision should never be based on whether Dave or churchgoers you watch prove to you that Jesus is real.

    Your decision is to personally and genuinely explore if Jesus Christ is who he said he is. The Son of God. Our Savior. The way to eternal life. Those are your questions to answer.

    I struggled with judgmental churchgoers. I understand the frustration that brings. I wasn’t raised as a Christian and I wasn’t sure I wanted to commit my life to something that didn’t seem consistent.

    Thank God I decided to honestly and intellectually seek the reality of God’s love and forgiveness. Jesus answered that request and radically changed my life in ways I never expected.

    And now I agree completely with this bold statement of Matthew West.


    “Well, let the whole world hear me say….”

    Say what? Here it is!

    I’m unashamed
    Of the gospel of Jesus Christ
    And the truth that changed my life
    For the name above all names
    I’m unashamed
    And I will live my faith out loud
    Take a stand and stand my ground
    For the One who took my shame
    I’m unashamed

    I agree with all of my heart! I’m unashamed. I can tell you with complete assurance that my life would have gone off the rails without my relationship with Jesus. His love both restrained and sustained me. I believe my insecure and selfish heart would have taken me down a different path without my faith in God. Any quality that you find positive in my life has been given or enhanced through my relationship with Jesus. Recently I looked at many of the crossroad moments in my life. God’s grace and mercy allowed me to fail and still find redemption. Anytime I have disappointed others or did not show love it was because I took my eyes off of Him.

    Paul writes these words in Philippians.

    8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4, NLT)

    I would like to paraphrase Paul’s words for my message to those who don’t think my journey with Jesus is legitimate.

    “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. I hope you saw in my life some things that were true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Whatever you might have received from me grew out of the sustaining love, grace, and peace of God.”

    I know my heart. I review the crossroads moments I came to in different seasons of my life. I reflect on how God gracefully and lovingly rescued me over and over and over. That grace, love, forgiveness, and direction happened because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

    I’m unashamed.

    And so very grateful.

  • Dad’s Have A Lifetime Effect…Good or Bad

    Singer Dan Fogelberg was one of my favorite singer/songwriters. Every Father’s Day I cue up a song written about his dad called “Leader of the Band”.  Fogelberg’s father was a musician and he passed that talent down to Dan. Parts of the lyric made me think of my Dad in his final years..

    The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old
    But his blood runs through my instrument and his song is in my soul 

    I thank you for the music and your stories of the road
    I thank you for the freedom when it came my time to go
    I thank you for the kindness and the times when you got tough
    And, papa, I don’t think I said ‘I love you’ near enough 

    My Dad knew how much I loved him. Still I wish I had told him more often. But this is the portion of the song that continues to impact me as a son.

    My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man
    I’m just a living legacy to the leader of the band

    My Dad was a wonderful, kind, loving, and sometimes flawed man. He was not perfect but his overall story was powerful. I hope I am following his legacy of joy, kindness, and love that he modeled so well. I realize with each passing year how much the leader of the pack impacted me. Every dad impacts the lives of their children. The question is how. Children listen only sometimes but they are always watching. My Dad probably never realized how closely I was watching.

    The last time I saw my father he left me with a memory that will stay with me till I join him in Heaven. His condition had worsened considerably after a stroke. When I walked into the hospital room Dad’s eyes came alive and he grabbed my hand with an intensity that clearly communicated that he knew me. 

    Our family had encountered one difficult employee at the hospital. This person had done nothing helpful and everything with a bad attitude. I looked at my sister Sherry as I held my Father’s hand and said, “We don’t have to take that crap!” To my surprise out of that shell that was my Dad came a very clear and loud response…”I taught you that!”

    Those were the final words that he spoke to me! And yes…you did teach me that Dad. And you taught me a whole lot more. You taught me that all of God’s children are to be valued unrelated to color or position. That everyone is important and deserves to be treated with dignity.

    You taught me the concept of grace. When I was in junior high I somehow manage to establish “credit” at a hobby store. I ran up a debt that was monumental in those days. When you found out I was terrified at the consequences of my actions. But you taught me that grace means unmerited forgiveness for obvious guilt. You taught me there is a difference between mistakes of ignorance and willful wrongdoing. You taught me what forgiveness looks like and what it means for someone to pay for your mistakes out of unconditional love with no strings attached. I got a little foretaste of how Jesus would pay a debt for me that I could not pay later on in my life. 

    You taught me that humor is a gift from God. That laughing at life and especially at your self makes it a whole lot easier to deal with daily frustrations.

    You taught me a lot Dad. And I will be forever grateful. Perhaps most importantly, you taught me what it looks like to be ready to die. You taught me how to put your family at ease by clearly and consistently letting us know that you were ready to meet Jesus.

    God’s Word consistently paints an image of God as our Father. Many people struggle with that picture because they can only relate to an angry, dominating, or selfish father. I am so grateful that I had a dad that helped me to understand the real love of a father and what that means when God says I am His child. But I pray that you will believe the love from our Father in Heaven even if the earthly role model was not ideal.

    How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!
    And that is what we are!  (1 John 3:1)

    That is what we are! A child of God our loving Father. That is a pretty good thing to meditate on for Father’s Day.

  • Can A Divided Body Of Christ Change The World?

    My head explodes when I allow myself to wade into the political discourse between followers of Jesus Christ on Facebook, X, and other social media. There are important cultural issues that Christians need to prayerfully and gracefully seek God’s wisdom to address. What I read is rarely graceful and that makes me wonder how prayerful the messengers have been before hitting the send button. What gives you the right to judge the faith status of another believer because you disagree with them? I was wrong about many political things in my life but I did believe in Jesus (in spite of what some critics thought) and God patiently changed my heart.

    Because of the nature of social media a topic that should be thoughtfully debated instead becomes an us versus them. I can assure you that no one’s mind is changed by a name calling rant. If fact, that person is more likely to dig in even deeper to what may be incorrect opinions because of your unkind comments.

    These judgements of motives and personal attacks are so damaging to the message of grace that I hold so dear. Sometimes I try to imagine myself as a skeptical seeker looking to explore this Christianity thing. I am pretty sure if I stumbled on some of these mean-spirited threads I would run straight for the secular hills.

    The irony of this need to “win” the argument at the expense of Christian charity and love may be one more profoundly effective tactic of the enemy. The moment the Church is divided by culture instead of united in Christ is the moment our light for the message of the Gospel dims. Paul noted that God’s sovereignty can take any proclamation of the Gospel and use it for His glory.

    “It’s true that some are preaching out of jealousy and rivalry. But others preach about Christ with pure motives. 16 They preach because they love me, for they know I have been appointed to defend the Good News. 17 Those others do not have pure motives as they preach about Christ. They preach with selfish ambition, not sincerely, intending to make my chains more painful to me. 18 But that doesn’t matter. Whether their motives are false or genuine, the message about Christ is being preached either way, so I rejoice. And I will continue to rejoice.” (Phillipians 1:15-18)

    I hope that most followers of Jesus wish to communicate the incredibly liberating forgiveness of the Gospel. I hope that most of us wish to be accurate in that communication. But I also hope that most of us wish to be gracious, kind, loving, and thoughtful toward all in the body who desire to celebrate Jesus. 

    When asked what the most important commandment was Jesus replied without hesitation.

    “And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.”

    And he added a second part…”Be accurate and angrily make sure others are accurate at all costs.”

    Hardly.

    His convicting command is well known.

    “The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these.” 

    Don’t hijack my point. Accuracy is important but you cannot love your neighbor as yourself by condescension, assigning of bad motives, and smug righteousness. 

    I wish followers of Jesus would proclaim what we are FOR more passionately than what we are against. What if we decided to spend all of our energy proclaiming that the Son of God came to earth as a human, lived a sinless life, was crucified as a sacrifice for my sin and yours and then was resurrected to show the ultimate victory over sin and death?

    What if we decided to be a little kinder, give a little more, serve a little more often, and commit to unity in our ranks?

    My concern is that the lack of unity is the single biggest problem in the universal church and, of course, in our individual fellowships. There is no more powerful community than a group of believers who live in unity. Nothing levels the playing field like genuinely following Jesus. 

    Famous preacher D.L. Moody had this warning. “I have never yet known the Spirit of God to work where the Lord’s people were divided.”

    The One that unites us is so much more important than the things that divide us. Can we commit to encountering others in grace based on our unity in Jesus Christ?
    The choice is ours.

  • Need Hope? Call On Jesus.

    An experienced friend recently noted that “getting old is not for sissies”. 

    Indeed. 

    Even if you escape personal difficulties you will undoubtedly have family and friends who are going through physical, emotional and spiritual trials. One of the songs that I default to when I am walking through valleys with others is from singer/composer Rich Mullins. The song is from his CD called Songs and it is simply titled “Hold Me Jesus”. 

    Well, sometimes my life
    Just don’t make sense at all
    When the mountains look so big
    And my faith just seems so small

    Right now I am in a pretty good place in my life and journey with Jesus. But then I started thinking about the many friends and loved ones who could relate completely to those lyrics in their current situation. And I can certainly remember seasons of my life when those words accurately reflected the condition of my soul.

    And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
    It’s so hot inside my soul
    I swear there must be blisters on my heart

    And I remember how I used to respond. I would deduce it was my fault and I would decide that I had to do something to bolster my faith. I had to read more verses or do a study or pray more or believe more. But the answer was far more simple and the chorus by Rich Mullins nails it.

    So hold me Jesus, ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf
    You have been King of my glory
    Won’t You be my Prince of Peace

    I need to quit flailing and trying so darn hard to be righteous. Hold me Jesus. Won’t you be my Prince of Peace? I start my praying by stating a truth that is simple and profound.

    “Jesus…thank you for your constant presence and love today.”

    That is the truth of the Gospel. But I remember how I used to think that I had to “do stuff” for God to earn His favor and receive His love and peace. For those of us “doers” who absolutely must do something I have our assignment.

    Trust God.

    That’s it. I have made it so stinkin’ complicated and religious for so many years. When I exercise that simple act of faith I can move forward with confidence. When I trust God obedience comes out of gratitude and not teeth gritting compliance.

    Why did I fight His amazing grace and His unconditional love. Rich Mullins nails that too.

    Surrender don’t come natural to me
    I’d rather fight You for something
    I don’t really want
    Than to take what You give that I need
    And I’ve beat my head against so many walls
    Now I’m falling down, I’m falling on my knees

    That was me. Hanging on to the familiar malaise of self-effort instead of surrendering and accepting grace and freedom. Rich Mullins is now with the King of Glory and the Prince of Peace but his ministry continues around the world. Next time you are flailing and striving to please God why not try that little prayer of gratitude.

    “Jesus…thank you for loving me today and walking with me through this difficult valley.”

    “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  (Matthew 11:28-30, The Message)

  • Life Can Hurt. Jesus Is The Healer.

    Being in loving community with others means you share in their joys and their sorrows. Sometimes the sorrows come in tsunami waves and all you can do is care, pray, and be present. Good and decent people deal with financial, emotional, and physical suffering all around us and it is easy to lose heart. The news seems to be only tragedy and heartbreaking sadness. What can be redeemed of all of this suffering?

    A song called “The Hurt and the Healer” by MercyMe resonated when I first heard it over a decade ago but recently that same song has ministers deeper in my soul. I was not aware that Bart Millard and Andrew Farley had co-written a book about this issue of Jesus being the healer when life hurts. The lyrics are powerful…

    Why?
    The question that is never far away
    The healing doesn’t come from the explained
    Jesus please don’t let this go in vain

    I can’t explain why things happen. Sometimes it is the consequences of sin. Sometimes it is simply life. I have learned in my years of following Jesus that He does not let suffering go in vain. I have seen over and over how God redeems sadness and tragedy. He so often brings beauty out of ashes. When I cannot see how any good can come out of a trial I trust my Abba Father in faith. Believe me I don’t always “feel” that emotionally but I can move forward in faith. God has never let me down. And I believe He never will.

    Breathe
    Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do
    Pain so deep that I can hardly move
    Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
    Lord take hold and pull me through

    Most of us have been there at some point. If not, you will be someday. Peter talked about the inevitability of suffering in this life in a passage that we usually leave out of the brochure when we tell others about our faith. All of us who follow Jesus are going to suffer.

    Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world. (1 Peter 4, NLT)

    Count me among the brethren who tried to dance around this truth for as long as I could. Be very glad? Seriously? But when you have nowhere else to turn but to Christ you find out that you should have turned to Him first all along.

    Jesus come and break my fear
    Awake my heart and take my tears
    Find Your glory even here
    When the hurt and the healer collide

    Jesus meets you there and not in theory. He suffered. He agonized with God the Father. He knows the human condition. He has already been where you are. When the hurt and the Healer collide something amazing happens. The pain may not immediately go away but peace and hope begin to slowly heal the pain. Peter did not end his writing on suffering with the buzz kill of Chapter 4. He wrapped it in a bow of incredible hope in the next chapter.

    In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation. (1 Peter 5, NLT)

    That is a promise that we can hold on to in times of sorrow and suffering. Jesus is always there even though we often forget that truth. I am trusting that promise this week for myself and my friends who are hurting.

  • The Miracle of My Mom’s Parting Gift

    If my Mom was born in today’s world I have no doubt she would have flourished with her strong, independent, and intelligent personality. But life for women in the 40’s and 50’s was limiting and I would guess a bit frustrating at times.

    I loved my Mom but our relationship was often challenging. She was raised in a family where love was not openly expressed. She could be negative and her comments often impacted me. I knew that she loved me fiercely but I will admit that I grieved for a more gracious expression of her love.

    As her health declined I prayed that her relationship with God would be clear to her and to her family. In the summer of 2006 I journeyed to Ohio to visit her. A group of Christian friends in Texas told me they would pray that I could discuss salvation with my Mom. I thanked them for their concern but in my heart I felt they were naive. They did not know my Mom. 

    Fast forward a few days as I am sitting with her. The conversation was mundane. Out of nowhere she dropped this bombshell.

    “How can you be sure that you are going to heaven?”

    You could have knocked me over with a feather and I immediately thought of those saints in Texas praying for exactly this moment. And I felt a bit of shame because I was the naive one who doubted the power of prayer. I shared the gospel with my Mom. She assured me that she had trusted Christ as her Savior. The next question was nearly as surprising.

    “What if you trusted Christ but haven’t lived it?”

    Wow. What do you say to that? I chose to tell her the truth. That she was always a child of God but she had likely forfeited some joy by not walking more consistently with Him. She had likely missed chances to serve and probably many blessings the Lord had desired her to experience. Still, there was a nagging question in my mind that I lacked the courage to address. I knew there were people who had hurt my Mom deeply and she had showed no signs of forgiveness. I was fairly certain she would take that bitter anger to her grave but I knew that was forgiven by the grace of God.

    But Mom took those comments about living for Jesus to heart. She chose to live for Him with the rest of her days. She told my niece that she had prayed more in the last year than she had in her whole life. She regularly asked me to pray for her and told me she was praying for me and especially for Joni as my bride battled breast cancer.

    My Mom began to regularly tell me she loved me. That was something you didn’t say in her family. You were just supposed to know it. She told me she was sorry if she had hurt me with her words or actions. That was the first time I had heard those words from my Mom in 53 years. It was a powerful moment of grace and reconciliation between us. When I saw her the last time she kissed me and said, “you don’t know how much you mean to me.” But she was wrong. I finally did. 

    But the real miracle happened in her last days. My niece asked Mom about a woman she had felt so much bitterness and hatred toward. When I was told about her response the words sent chills through me.

    “Oh honey. That was in the past. I have forgiven her.”

    What irony that I have been writing about forgiveness and my Mom gave me a miracle of forgiveness as her final gift. Forgiveness can happen. It is never too late. For those who think they cannot forgive I will tell you that with God it is possible. I am saddened that my Mom is gone but I am rejoicing in her victory. She was able to lay her burdens at the foot of the Cross and pass unencumbered into the presence of the Lord. She finished her days living out this verse.

    “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
    ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4‬:‭32‬ ‭NLT‬‬

    Seventeen Mother’s Days have gone by since she passed away. I praise God that I have not really lost my Mom.
    Nope.
    I know exactly where she is.