Charisa Stories

Tag: Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life

Things I Can’t Afford to Forget

I am always saddened by the all out sprint to judgement of people and institutions that make mistakes. It often seems the harshest comments come from people who ought to tap the brakes before they go there. These are folks that have made their own mistakes. Often they were offered second chances. My initial response was self-righteous indignation because, let’s be honest, I am good at that.

Eventually the quiet voice of the Spirit reminds me that I have also been that guy who is quick to judge. I am that guy who tries to argue with God about forgiveness and whether someone “deserves” mercy. A little snippet from my book Stay addressed this very issue after Paul threw down an incredible statement to the Ephesian church.

Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
(Ephesians 4:32, NLT)

That is a very tall order and one that is impossible to do without remembering how much I have been forgiven. If you say something nasty about me and ask for forgiveness, I will almost certainly grant it. If you do it again and ask forgiveness, I will probably forgive you. If you do the same thing again and ask forgiveness, I will most likely respond ungraciously and ask you to “prove” you are sorry.

Yet that illustration is exactly what I do in my relationship with God every day. I have asked Him to forgive the same sin dozens, even hundreds of times. Still His Word tells me I am forgiven and He loves me just the same as the first time I confessed that sin. That is how God has forgiven me through Christ. I should respond accordingly, forgiving each and every offense out of profound gratitude. Do you see any way around the obvious command to forgive? Me either.

Bottom line: we are commanded to forgive as we have been forgiven. Forgiveness may well be the missing ingredient to the healing of most relationships. Forgive the one who wounded you. Forgive yourself and seek forgiveness if you are the one who wounded. Perhaps your efforts will not result in reconciliation. That is sad but ultimately okay. What if the other person does not deserve to be forgiven? Consider Jesus as He looked down in agony from the cross.

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” And the soldiers gambled for his clothes by throwing dice. (Luke 23:34, NLT)

I can say with complete confidence that I have not endured the level of wounds, betrayal, mocking, and abuse that Jesus experienced. Yet He could look at those evil perpetrators and ask His Father to forgive them. That gives me some perspective. Perhaps my situations are forgivable, with His help and only with His help.

I have spent a lot of unhappy moments not enjoying the freedom the Lord intended because I did not want to forgive someone who hurt me. I grieve to think of how I have stubbornly refused to forgive others for real and/or perceived slights over the years. I can imagine Jesus looking at me with sadness (not condemnation) because I have not fully comprehended the magnitude of the debt that has been erased from my account because of Him. I can hear Him saying,

“Dave, when you choose to hold onto bitterness, you shortchange yourself on joy and peace.”

If I cannot forgive, I have forgotten or never comprehended how much I have been forgiven.

Taken from Stay by Dave Burchett copyright © 2015. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.

How quickly I forget. I forget how much I have been forgiven. I forget how much I am loved by Jesus. I forget that I am a brand new creation. I forget I am righteous because of the finished work of Christ. I forget that there is no condemnation in Christ. I forget that I am a beloved child of God and He is for me. I forget that He has my back and He has me in His hand forever. I am forgetful.

But thank God He does not forget His promises. More than anything I need to not forget that today.

February 6, 2023
Can’t “Duck” This Vital Need

I remember sitting with Joni outside a little cabin near Fredericksburg, Texas when a flock of eight ducks noisily left the pond and waddled toward us. They lined up and quacked expectantly. If I spoke duck I suspect the translation would have been something like the famous quote from Caddyshack.

“Hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.”

We fed the ducks some cereal flakes and apparently that was an acceptable offering. Every time we went out on our porch the ducks would waddle over and wait for their snack. Joni and I were fascinated by their behaviors. They always stayed together. There was a clear leader of the pack and when the leader decided it was time to move on to other activities the seven dutifully followed. They swam at the same time. Groomed at the same time. They slept at the same time. They were created to thrive in community. So are we.

Here is an excerpt from my book Stay about living in community.

We were created to be in a community with other believers. Because of our unity in Christ, we are to embrace those different from ourselves. That’s what makes a church dynamic to a person who experiences grace and acceptance for the first time. And that is why church can be devastating when the congregation becomes selective, judgmental, and legalistic. Anne Lamott shares a thought-provoking observation: “You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”

That is both an ouch and an amen statement. When differences result in judgment, what we thought was a safe place instead becomes the biggest betrayal of all. When we become “experienced” Christians, something seems to happen. We can lose touch with our former brokenness and sinfulness and desperate need to be forgiven and accepted. That is when the pretense begins that our holiness is based on performance instead of complete dependence on Christ.

Years ago I wrote When Bad Christians Happen to Good People. I envisioned a church that would be the kind of place that you couldn’t keep people away from even if you barred the doors. A place that would value every spiritual, physical, and financial gift, no matter how big or small. A place that would make it a practice to reach out and care for one another sacrificially. A place committed to meet those needs that we now prefer to leave to the “professional Christians” on staff. I dreamed of people from different walks of life, economic status, and culture being involved in each other’s lives without our differences dividing us. A place that would practice the prodigal son ministry, running to welcome those returning home, especially those scarred by bad decisions and sin. We would hold our brothers and sisters accountable to godly standards, but always in humility and grace. We would delight in the company of other spiritual travelers and make it a priority that no one ever felt alone.

I realize now that what I was longing for was a place of grace.

I know that finding and living in real community in our culture isn’t easy. I understand how easy it is to want to throw in the towel. I almost did. The truth is that we need community, even if we’ve been hurt by bad relationships in the past. If you aren’t in a community of grace, it may be time to ask God to lead you to such a place. I know that can be daunting. It took me a long time to find such a place, but I found one. It took me a longer time to realize how God was redeeming every hurt, every slight, and every trial. Eventually, I was able to see how He’d been preparing me, especially through those hard times, to embrace and welcome grace in a whole new way.

I have been swept away by grace. My life—including my relationship with Jesus, my marriage, and my ministry—have been transformed. It’s been that dramatic.

Taken from Stay by Dave Burchett copyright © 2015. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.

January 23, 2023
Feeling Like A Nobody Just Might Be A Sign of Growth

My life odometer keeps adding mileage. No matter how hard I try I cannot roll it back. Part of acquiring higher mileage is getting some hard earned perspective on your life decisions. Some of my decisions were good. Some benign. Some not so good. Some truly regretful.

That is life.

The encouragement I have discovered is that even the really bad decisions can be redeemed by the grace of God. D.L.Moody was one of the greatest communicators of the Gospel in church history and a great Christian university bears his name. One of my favorite Moody quotes is about the learning curve of Moses. Moses ended up having a fairly decent impact for God.

“Moses spent 40 years thinking he was somebody; 40 years learning he was nobody; and 40 years discovering what God can do with a nobody.”

I have to adjust the numbers for my life. I spent 40 years thinking I was somebody. Twenty years learning I was nobody apart from the grace of God. I now am looking at (fill in the blank someday) years praying and seeking to see what God can do with a nobody.

This is not about groveling in self-loathing. Far from it. It is simply acknowledging the liberating recognition of my dependence and need for God.

All of us have a purpose. Here is an excerpt from my book Stay about purpose. The book chronicles the spiritual lessons I learned from a couple of rescued dogs. My canine friend Hannah understood who she was and lived out of that identity every day.

Hannah was predestined to swim, run, and retrieve. That is the destiny of any retriever. Hannah does not try to be anything else. Even as a puppy, she chased anything we tossed her way and eagerly brought it back. We did not have to spend one minute training her. It was as natural as breathing for Hannah. Retrieving was her purpose and passion.

That was the lesson for today from my four-legged mentor. I have also been created with a purpose. In fact, every person has a God-designed destiny whether they believe it or not. Henri Nouwen wrote about living with that frame of mind.”We seldom realize fully that we are sent to fulfill God-given tasks. . . .We act as if we were simply dropped down in creation and have to decide how to entertain ourselves until we die. But we were sent into the world by God, just as Jesus was. Once we start living our lives with that conviction, we will soon know what we were sent to do.”

Living out of who you are is liberating. The apostle Paul had some thoughts about such a life when he wrote to the church at Ephesus.

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:8-10, NLT)

Think about that! You were rescued from the death of sin by grace. It was a gift that could not be earned. And you are a new creation, indeed a masterpiece for whom good things were planned from the beginning of time. How can followers of Jesus possibly have self-image issues? When we believe the lies.

Taken from Stay by Dave Burchett copyright © 2015

Don’t believe the lies. The irony of God’s plan is that we become important when we quit thinking we are important. God can do amazing things with nobody’s who are trusting and willing.

Read the first chapter of Stay:Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace by clicking this link.

September 4, 2022
Jesus Loves the Broken Ones

We all go through hard seasons in life. Recently I have had to walk with some very dear friends through dark valleys. I had to say goodbye to one close friend. Actually, I had to say “see you later”. I rejoice in the hope of our heavenly reunion someday.

I love when God sends an unexpected blessing when you are crushed by the weight of this world. My sweet wife Joni calls them “Postcards from God”. I received an electronic post card recently.

Regular readers of these humble ramblings know that I have become a fan of bluegrass singer, songwriter, and producer Jerry Salley. His song about our mutual hometown of Chillicothe, Ohio still fills my heart with warm memories of my small town upbringing. I absolutely fell in love with his lyrical storytelling. We connected on a professional level and I sent him a couple of my books.

In late June I received my postcard. Jerry began reading my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace. He asked his Mom if she knew a Dave Burchett from Chillicothe.

“I do know him. You’re related.”

It turns out my grandmother and his grandmother were sisters. This talented artist is my second cousin! I felt a little better because I always wondered where the family musical talent had gone. Cousin Jerry took it all. We have had the most amazing exchange of memories since our revelation of being related.

I had previously written about his powerful song “Without Forgiveness” and a song about leaving a legacy titled “How I Want to Be Remembered”. Another sweet story hit my heart while listening to Jerry’s catalogue of music.

A song called the Broken Ones has been recorded by Jerry and also by a group called the Amundruds. The lyrics describe a little girl named Maggie who pulls a Raggedy Ann doll out of a neighbor’s trash can. The doll is missing an arm and one button eye hangs on by a thread. She finds a place for this broken one with her other dolls. The chorus is touching as it describes the heart of this young girl.

She loves the broken ones, the ones that need a little patching up
She sees the diamond in the rough and makes it shine like new
It really doesn’t take that much, a willing heart and a tender touch
If everybody loved like she does, there’d be a lot less broken ones.

Years later Maggie is working at a shelter when a young drug addict stumbles in lost and hopeless. Maggie embraces her and invites this broken soul into that safe place. She helps the young woman find healing.

The lyrics go on to describe how many viewed Maggie as a hero because of her heart for those who are broken. She deferred the credit to someone else.

If you call her and angel, she’ll be quick to say to you
She’s just doing what the One who died for her would do.

She was simply doing what Jesus does. He loved the broken ones. The song ends with this addition to the chorus.

If everybody loved like Jesus, there’d be a lot less broken ones.

Amen.

The message of the song is spot on. Jesus loves the broken ones.

This journey is not easy. Never will be. One of the big mistakes we make in sharing our faith is making it seem like all troubles are over when you embrace Christianity. That is not in the contract. We will still have problems and heartaches and even tragedies. King David wrote these words while escaping down a broken road.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

There are so many brokenhearted people who simply need a caring heart. Warren Wiersbe beautifully describes why we should not be quick to condemn.

“I am not as critical as I used to be, not because my standards are lower, but because my sight is clearer. What I thought were blemishes in others have turned out to be scars.”

In the Gospel of John Jesus talked about the Holy Spirit coming to be our advocate and comforter on this earth. He left this amazing promise that I cling to more fervently everyday.

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. (John 14:27, NLT)

I am experiencing that peace even in this difficult season. I am not afraid because I know without a doubt that He loves the broken ones. That is my assurance today.

July 25, 2022
What Would My Last Message Be?

When I was a little boy I remember the standard prayer at bedtime. I know it was meant to comfort but one line always freaked me out.

Now I lay me down to sleep.

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

If I should die before I wake,

Wait? What? If I should die before I wake? I think I will just stay awake for awhile thank you very much.

Six decades later that prayer makes a lot more sense. If I should die before I wake I believe I will be in the presence of Jesus. I am not anxious to leave this life but I am not afraid.

I talked about loss in my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace. I wrote that “preparing for death is preparing for life,” a principle that has radically changed my perspective. The corollary truth is when you are not afraid to die you are not afraid to live. Recognizing how finite my existence is allows me to live in the moment and enjoy God’s tender mercies every morning. I am forgiven so I don’t have to live in regret of the past. He is in control so I don’t have to live in fear of the future. I can live right now in freedom and peace.

The other thing I ponder is what message would I like to communicate as my final word? I have been blessed with some wonderful friends and colleagues who would likely say some nice things about me. I would like them to understand a very important truth. I learned some great lessons from my Dad and others as I was growing up. But I can tell you with complete assurance that my life would have likely gone off the rails without my relationship with Jesus. His love both restrained and sustained me. I believe my insecure and selfish heart would have taken me down a different path without my faith. Any quality that you find positive in my life has been given or enhanced through my relationship with Jesus. Anytime I have disappointed or did not show love it was because I took my eyes off of Him.

Paul writes these words in Philippians.

⁸And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. ⁹Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4, NLT)

I would like to paraphrase Paul’s words for my final message.

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. I hope you saw in my life some things that were true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Whatever you might have received from me grew out of the sustaining love, grace, and peace of God.”

I know my heart. I know the crossroads I came to in different seasons of my life and how God gracefully and lovingly rescued me over and over. So my final message to my believing friends would be one of encouragement and hope.

Trust God and trust who He says you are because of the finished work of Jesus. Believe you are forgiven of all sins past, present, and future. Wholly accept that you are a brand new creation and live in grateful freedom. Drink in the inexhaustible grace of God every day. Allow God to love you as His beloved and then pay that love forward for His glory. Look through the lens of grace and you will find sacred moments in every single day. Recognize that everything about your walk with Jesus is a gift of grace. It is all about the finished work of Jesus on the Cross. At the moment you believe that Jesus is the way to salvation you are gifted with everything you need to live for Him.

Forgiveness.
Security.
The Spirit of God dwelling in your heart.
A new identity.
The hope of eternity with Jesus.
Grace and love that is completely unrelated to your performance.

Those gifts make me want to serve God out of gratitude and not out of begrudging compliance to avoid judgment.

For my friends who don’t share my faith I would ask one favor. Don’t focus on Christians who fail. Focus on Christ who succeeded.

Jesus conquered death. He paid for your sins. I would ask you to examine the impact of Jesus on His culture. It was the message of Christ that gave value to women, children, the poor, and the ignored. When you study His words and life you will see that many of His followers have fallen short, including me. Jesus also taught that some would claim to be His followers who were not in any way known to Him. Those counterfeiters get lumped in with true followers.

So my final request would come out of deep love for you. Examine the claims of Jesus with an open heart and mind. Don’t reject Christ because of Christians. That is an easy thing to do. Read the Gospel of John and ask for the Spirit to reveal truth to you. If you choose to reject the claims of Jesus I would sadly accept that decision. If I am wrong about my eternal destiny I would still have no regrets about the way the teachings of Jesus influenced my life. I would do it all over again.

I can’t force you to follow Jesus. I hope I can be a small influence for you to thoughtfully and honestly examine the life and claims of Jesus. Following Jesus changed everything in my journey. I would not be a good and loving friend if I did not share that with you.

June 20, 2022
Jesus Keeps No Stats

I lived in the performance driven world of sports virtually my entire career. In our broadcasts we usually measured value not by character but by statistics. Numbers like how many tackles for loss or how many yards gained per carry defined value. Character was a nice bonus but performance was king.

I remember a comment from Northwestern University football coach Pat Fitzgerald that really impacted me. He was talking about the impact of negative stats on a football player’s performance. Coaches often rail about the need to reduce “missed” tackles and they keep track of each miscue. Coach Fitzgerald had a different philosophy. His staff does not keep track of missed tackles at all. The staff evaluates each play by their effort even if it does not produce perfect results. His next comment stuck with me. “I don’t like to put negative results in their minds because you become what you think about.”

It immediately hit me how profound that comment is for followers of Jesus. We tend to keep spiritual stats on failure. We beat ourselves up over “missed” opportunities. We fixate on what we have done instead of what Jesus has already done for us. We write our game plan to do better on the board.

Don’t sin.
Do better.
Pray more.
Study more Scripture.
Be more forgiving.
Less angry.
More loving.

And we try really, really hard to do all of those things. But the bad stats overwhelm and discourage us. We do sin. We don’t always forgive. We get angry. We don’t study or pray as much as we think we probably should. The net result is frustration and spiritual fatigue.

I wrestled with idea of how we can deal with sin in my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace.

In Hebrews the text tells us to “strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”
Even though it sounds like a daunting and even impossible task, the author of Hebrews sums up how to do that in one powerful sentence: “We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith” (Hebrews 12:1-2, NLT).
That is it.
There is no other way to consistently live that life apart from keeping our eyes on Jesus.
The same is true for me. When I keep my eyes on Jesus, I have the strength to be bold and the ability to produce fruit that is pleasing to God. When our rambunctious Labrador Maggie cannot settle down, I tell her to sit so she can focus on calming down and doing the right thing. When she stays and regroups, things go well for her. When my thought life and actions cannot settle down, I need the Holy Spirit to firmly but lovingly tell me to sit . . .stay . . . abide.
Only then do I realize that I have turned my eyes away from Jesus. When I stay, I can focus on His peace, love, forgiveness, and grace, and have the ability to resist sin. If I am anxious, fearful, have doubts, or am sad, I need to sit, stay, and abide, looking at the One who initiates and perfects my faith.
What a difference between that approach and what too many of us experience. We tend to address the sin first. Stop that! Quit! Do better! And by the way, Jesus loves you. Or worse, He will love you when you do better. Paul always took the grace exit instead. Remember who you are! You are saints! Beloved! Adopted! Redeemed! Those same truths are ours to claim as we keep our eyes on Jesus. When we quit fighting to get better and do that one simple thing, something amazing happens. We get better.
Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me About Life, Loss, and Grace

We often do become what we think about. It seems like a pretty good game plan to think about Jesus. Paul summed up how Jesus views our efforts that fall short.

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.
(Romans 8:1, NLT)

Alternative translation.

Jesus doesn’t keep stats!

September 5, 2021
He Knew He Was Loved

A little over fifteen years ago youngest son and dog lover Brett called from Baylor University. He had spotted three abandoned puppies along the side of a Waco road. He tried to round them up but could only catch one. Brett called to let me know that he intended to bathe, feed, and care for the pup over the weekend. He told me he planned to take him to the Humane Society on Monday for adoption. I knew I was in trouble when Brett decided to let me know what his rescued puppy looked like.

I called the lovely Mrs. Burchett. “He is working me,” I told Joni. “He is falling in love with this dog.” On Sunday I was driving through Waco and I stopped to see Brett and his alleged short term friend. The way this puppy followed Brett around and looked at him was astounding. He appeared to sense that Brett was, for him, the canine version of Amazing Grace. That sweet puppy seemed to understand that he once was lost and now was found. Maybe if we remembered our dramatic rescue along the side of the road to destruction we might gaze at our Rescuer more consistently with that look of adoration.

I also started falling in love with this adorable mutt and concluded that our family dog population had just increased. Brett was scheduled to take the newly named “Trigger” to the vet for shots and a checkup on Monday. On that day another phone call came. Trigger had become violently ill overnight. The scourge of many abandoned puppies seemed to have attacked this sweet little ragamuffin puppy. Trigger had contracted Parvovirus. Brett’s words were heartbreaking in their honesty and love.

“Dad, I don’t think he is going to make it. But at least he knew he was loved for a few days.”

Okay. I cried at Old Yeller. I am a soft touch. But that remark from my youngest touched my heart and made me think that this is a microcosm of ministry. Sometimes it is heartbreaking. The results don’t always match our desires. But if we can love the down and out like Jesus at least they know they have been loved and they will know the source of that love.

For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’
“Then these righteous ones will reply, `Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison, and visit you?’ And the King will tell them, `I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ (Matthew 25, NLT)

The results are not guaranteed when you minister to the least of these. But when we do minister to the least of these we show them the very face of Jesus.

This rescue story had a happy ending. Trigger was in the hospital for 12 days of intravenous feeding and medication. I earned hundreds of airline miles on my MasterCard thanks to Trigger. He and Brett went on to be best buddies for fifteen years.

This month Brett and his fiance Sarah said goodbye to Trig. You never know how acts of kindness will turn out. This improbable rescued mutt blessed Brett with years of companionship and joy. And from that first weekend until his last moment Trigger knew he was loved.

Trigger’s story was one of my first blogs about the amazing connection we have with our canine friends and the spiritual lessons they teach us. My book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace is the result of that journey. Trig was a wonderful part of our family. He will be missed.

June 28, 2021