Confessions of a Bad Christian

(From theFish.com)

I love Thanksgiving. I love watching the giant balloons of the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade floating through New York as wide-eyed children watch. I love the traditional football games. The official start of the Christmas season. The post feast nap. I love it all and Thanksgiving Day is here again.

Thanksgiving Song by Mary Chapin Carpenter captures the intimacy of this wonderful holiday.

Grateful for each hand we hold
Gathered round this table.
From far and near we travel home,
Blessed that we are able.

Grateful. That is a powerful word that is so easy to overlook in the tension of life and the depressing cycles of usually bad news. I have so much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for another year with my best friend and bride Joni. I am grateful for three wonderful sons, two amazing daughter-in-laws and one fantastic grandchild. I am blessed that we are able to be together this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for good friends. I am grateful for the abundant blessings of this country.

Grateful for this sheltered place
With light in every window,
Saying “welcome, welcome, share this feast
Come in away from sorrow.”

Every year brings sorrow. Friends and family have suffered illness this year. Some have gone through deep trials. Some have passed away. Sorrow is a part of this journey. But there is something healing about counting blessings and feeling gratitude. Taking that time provides a sheltered place from sorrow. For me the light in the window of my soul is my trust in a God that is faithful, loving and good in blessings and in sorrow.

Grateful for what’s understood,
And all that is forgiven;

Jesus is the light that said welcome when I felt anything but welcome. He invited me to the feast that I did not deserve to attend because of His grace. Jesus said I was forgiven. How can I be anything but grateful if I understand the magnitude of that undeserved love?

We try so hard to be good,
To lead a life worth living.

I might add a little personal clarification to Carpenter’s lyric. I understand the desire to live a life of significance. I get trying to be good. I believe we have a reason for being here. But my experience with the grace of the Lord Jesus has taught me that it is not trying so hard to lead a life worth living that brings peace and joy. It is faithfully following Jesus each day. It is allowing God to love me and asking Him to help me give away that love to others. It is trusting God to provide opportunities to serve. It is believing that God is faithful even through sorrow. It is trusting that what God says about me is true. That I have been changed and I have a new identity in Christ. I am deeply loved and cherished by God. I am declared righteous because of Jesus and that righteousness has nothing to do with how hard I work to be “good”. It is because of Christ. I am so grateful for grace. So very grateful.

Paul’s words to the Colossian Church make a fitting devotional thought for this holiday.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:12-17, NLT)

I pray that you find much to be grateful for this holiday season.

A lot of people dear to me are going through some difficult waters right now. Some are in physical pain, some in emotional pain and some in financial pain. Sometimes even the most sold out followers of Jesus want to raise their face to the heavens and scream.

“WHY God? WHAT are you doing? HOW can you let this continue?”

A song by Josh Wilsonresonated on the daily walk and is the basis for today’s iPod Devotional. The song is called “I Fall Apart”.

Why in the world did I think I could
Only get to know you when my life was good?
When everything just falls in place
The easiest thing is to give you praise
Now it all seems upside down

I wish that wasn’t true. I wish I was mature enough to recognize God’s blessings every day and praise Him without ceasing in my normal life of comfort or when things go off course. The truth is that I have a righteous new nature housed in a decidedly unrighteous body of flesh. The conflict is constant and real. Paul talked a lot about the conflict in his letter to the Church in Rome. His words are just as relevant today.

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. (Romans 7, NLT)

Pretty depressing. That has been much of my Christian journey. I want to know Him better but on my terms. I want to trust God fully but I also want Him to answer my prayers and keep the blessings flowing freely. I want to make a difference for God but I inevitably default to safety. I feel guilty and sad. Frustrated. Unworthy. And then I read the next words from Paul.

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. (Romans 8, NLT)

No condemnation. I have the power within me to overcome sin. Not perfectly to be sure. But I no longer have to sin. The work of Christ is complete. I am forgiven. Changed. I have a new identity. I bring nothing to the dance other than my trust and submission. That is a hard thing for an American achiever. I want to do something. I want to prove myself worthy of Christ. I cannot. I bring nothing. Only when I recognize my need to trust Him fully can I begin to know Him better. That clarity does not come out of prosperity, health, green lights and blue skies. That clarity comes most often out of darkness, deep valleys and scars.

Blessed are the ones who understand
They’ve got nothing to bring but empty hands
Nothing to hide and nothing to prove
Our heartbreak brings us back to you

Henri Nouwen wrote beautifully about the purpose and value of suffering. “We fail to see the place of suffering in the broader scheme of things. We fail to see that suffering is an inevitable dimension of life. Because we have lost perspective, we fail to see that unless one is willing to accept suffering properly, he or she is really refusing to continue in the quest for maturity. To refuse suffering is to refuse personal growth. Jesus says, “Cry over your pains, and you will discover that I’m right there in your tears, and you will be grateful for my presence in your weakness.” Ministry means to help people become grateful for life even with pain. That gratitude can send into the world precisely to the places where people are in pain. The minister, the disciple of Jesus, goes where there is pain not because he is a masochist or she is a sadist, but because God is hidden in the pain.  Henri Nouwen – The Nouwen Center

Wow. Think of your seasons of growth. I would venture that most of them came out of adversity, pain and struggle.

Maybe this is how it starts
I find you when I fall apart
I don’t know how long this will last
I’m praying for the pain to pass

But maybe this is the best thing that has ever happened to me
‘Cause my whole world is caving in

But I feel you now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me

But somehow still have all I need?
God I want to know you more
Maybe this is how it starts

Maybe this is how it starts. Today I pray for the comfort for my suffering friends and family. I pray for healing. But I also pray that they (and I) will find God hidden in that pain. That all of us will trust a God who is trustworthy even as we agonize. I pray that we will find that His grace is sufficient. And I pray that all of us embrace the truth that brokenness and pain is how a loving Father must sometimes get our attention.

I find you when–
You will find me when–
I fall apart

This journey is not and never will be easy. But there is one promise from Jesus that I hold onto.

“Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

(From theFish.com)

Occasionally a song pops up in the iPod shuffle rotation that reminds me of my failed career as a disc jockey in the ‘70’s. The song is called “United We Stand” and it was recorded by a British group called the Brotherhood of Man. The message was simple.

For united we stand
Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, together, you and I

The songwriter was talking about a love relationship but the sentiment to stand united should permeate family relationships, team relationships and especially church relationships. But we know in the latter case that is too often not true.

I have written a lot about how people in the church do considerable damage with actions and words that do not reflect Jesus. I have been frustrated by Christians who receive grace willingly and deny it to others. I see division in the body of Christ where we should see unity. It occurred to me that the church does not understand a few key principles that winning baseball teams understand. The first thing that winning teams understand is that every teammate brings strengths and weaknesses to the team. A great team celebrates the strengths of each player and works together to offset the weaknesses. I pondered this as I read about the career of Joe Gordon. In 1942 Gordon led the American League in strikeouts. He made more errors that year than any other second baseman. He hit into more double plays than anyone in the league. By dwelling on those stats we could surmise that the New York Yankees were looking for a new second baseman for the following year. But there was one mitigating factor.

Gordon won the American League Most Valuable Player for that season!

In spite of the flaws mentioned above Joe Gordon had a great season. He batted .322, fourth in the AL, with 18 homers and 103 runs batted in. Gordon teamed with Phil Rizzuto to lead the league in double plays turned defensively. In 1942 Joe Gordon was deemed to be the MVP of the league despite some obvious weaknesses in his game. Great managers and good teammates know that every player has strengths and every player has weaknesses.

And that is the lesson I was thinking about for the church. Too often we dwell on the weakness and not the gifts that God has given others. Or we acknowledge the gifts but make sure to note the weaknesses. All of us are a mix of gifts and flaws. Paul mentions spiritual gifts in his letter to the Roman church.

I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.

Commentators note that the translation here might be a bit confusing. The text might sound as if Paul’s giving away spiritual gifts to the first ten callers. A better translation might be that Paul wants to use his spiritual gifts to strengthen and encourage others. I believe that every single Christian is given spiritual gifts. We are given those gifts for many reasons but two of the primary ones are to glorify God and strengthen one another. But I wonder if we sometimes look at our spiritual gifts as something that we have the right to exercise for our personal fulfillment and glory? I am sure Joe Gordon often struck out when his team needed a hit. I suspect he sometimes made an error when the pitcher threw a good pitch and should have gotten an out. But his teammates (and the rest of the league) saw his gifts. Base runners batted in and key home runs hit. A vital double play turned and great range at his position. That is what made him valuable to a winning team. His strengths were vital to the team winning. His flaws were compensated by the team working in unity toward the goal of the World Series.

Do we do that in the church? Or do we choose to focus on the flaws of others? The World Series is a wonderful goal but it pales in comparison to the goal that Jesus challenged us to pursue.  Do we understand what it means to be unified for the common goal expressed so succinctly in the Gospel of Matthew?

Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

That is the game plan. Each of us has been given gifts to contribute. Each of us has flaws. Can we pray that we will be mature enough to focus on Who unites us instead of what divides us? Even the MVP of the American League had shortcomings. So will the pastor, elder, committee member, and volunteer chairman as we pursue the Great Commission of Christ. Another thing that winning teams understand. You don’t have to be best friends with everyone on the team but you do have to be united for the common goal of the team. My prayer is simple.

God give us the grace to be unified as a team for your glory. Teach us to use our gifts to strengthen one another and glorify you. Give us the strength to be a good teammate and the humility to believe that it cannot be about me for the team to succeed. Give me the desire to be a good teammate in the body of Christ. Teach me to see and exalt the gifts of my brothers and sisters even if they compete with my own talents. And especially teach me to be graceful with the flaws of others. We are all gifted and we are all flawed. A team understands that truth. Help us to do the same for the sake of the body of Christ.

(Joe Gordon story excerpted from When Bad Christians Happen to Good People)

(From theFish.com)

A song by Brandon Heath is the inspiration for this iPod Devotional. The song is titled “Give Me Your Eyes” and the lyrics are thought provoking. Heath talks about seeing so many people in his daily journey and wondering why he doesn’t care. He writes this chorus of longing.

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity

Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me you heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

Brandon Heath’s songs are full of gritty honesty. His admission is real and relevant. It is a topic all followers of Jesus must address.

God did not create me to live in a “believers only” cocoon of safety. Living that kind of Christian life is so easy in America. There is a safe path of least resistance to live out our faith in this country. No resistance just might mean you aren’t doing anything that threatens Satan. In basketball you don’t guard the players that aren’t doing anything. They pose no threat to your goal of winning the game. Sometimes I suspect I am unguarded by Satan’s defense for a reason. I choose the bench of comfort instead of the arena of serving.

Comfy Christianity is epidemic in America. We encounter a store that won’t say Merry Christmas and we think we are persecuted. God help us. We send checks instead of serving. But according to most giving research we don’t even do that very well.

God has called me (and you) to give and to serve. In the Civil War the wealthy paid poor men to go “serve” for them. I remember having such disdain when I read that bit of history. But don’t I do the same thing in my Christian journey? I feel really good if I pay a missionary to go reach the world with the message of Jesus. I feel like I am godly if I give to the church so the “professionals” can do ministry. But God is asking me to do both. Give and serve. Maybe not to be a missionary but certainly to reach out to my neighbor and my community. I was not created to live in a safe bunker of climate controlled Christianity. Jesus is not safe. Following Him will take you out of the comfort zone and into the messy world of ministry. How did the early church explode against all odds? Author Ken Curtis makes these points in an excellent article on the early church history.

After the Apostle Paul, we do not run across many “big names” as missionaries in the first few hundred years of Christian history. Instead the faith spread through a multitude of humble, ordinary believers whose names have been long forgotten. Early Christianity was primarily an urban faith, establishing itself in the city centers of the Roman Empire. Most of the people lived close together in crowded tenements. There were few secrets in such a setting. The faith spread as neighbors saw the lives of the believers close-up, on a daily basis.

It is too often a tragic occurrence that careful observation of modern Christians on a close-up, daily basis is a reason to turn away from faith, not toward it. The article goes on…

And what kind of lives did they lead? Justin Martyr, a noted early Christian theologian, wrote to Emperor Antoninus Pius and described the believers: “We formerly rejoiced in uncleanness of life, but now love only chastity; before we used the magic arts, but now dedicate ourselves to the true and unbegotten God; before we loved money and possessions more than anything, but now we share what we have and to everyone who is in need; before we hated one another and killed one another and would not eat with those of another race, but now since the manifestation of Christ, we have come to a common life and pray for our enemies and try to win over those who hate us without just cause.” In another place Justin points out how those opposed to Christianity were sometimes won over as they saw the consistency in the lives of believers, noting their extraordinary forbearance when cheated and their honesty in business dealings.

Perhaps the main reason the early church exploded is contained in the lyric of a simple song we used to sing while we were on staff with the organization formerly known as Campus Crusade for Christ.

They will know we are Christians by our love, by our love.
They will know we are Christians by our love.

Will they? Those exposed to the early church knew the people called Christians were different. Very different. And good different. The article continues.

Christians became known as those who cared for the sick. Many were known for the healings that resulted from their prayers. Christians also started the first “Meals on Wheels.” By the year 250, they were feeding more than 1500 of the hungry and destitute in Rome every day.

When Emperor Julian (“the Apostate”) wanted to revive pagan religion in the mid-300s, he gave a most helpful insight into how the church spread. This opponent of the faith said that Christianity “has been specially advanced through the loving service rendered to strangers and through their care of the burial of the dead. It is a scandal that there is not a single Jew who is a beggar and that the [Christians] care not only for their own poor but for ours as well; while those who belong to us look in vain for the help we should render them.”

Oh that we could adopt a “scandalous” faith that would not overlook a beggar or turn away from those who need care. Those who labor in love serving the AID’s victims in Africa are following that tradition. Is it a surprise that Christianity is growing so rapidly in Africa? God bless you. The brave followers of Jesus who carry the gospel to countries where persecution is real are following the example of the early church. God protect you.

For the rest of us the questions are uncomfortable. Are we willing to leave the climate controlled Christianity that is so comfy and go outside where it is risky and dangerous? Scripture makes our calling pretty clear.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. (1 John 3:18 ESV)

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, …
(Philippians 2:1-4:23 ESV)

Followers of Jesus are called to be servants. Do we dare trust Him enough to take the chance? Give me Your eyes to see Your grace, Your love and Your heart for this world. And the courage and faith to act as I lean fully on Your grace.

(From theFish.com)

A classic rock anthem from my youth was part of the iPod rotation today. “My Generation” was our defiant statement that we wanted nothing to do with the older folks who we believed to be clueless. The song reminded me of an interesting piece in the Wall Street Journal detailing how the younger generation places less value on the advice of their elders. That cultural trend has carried over into business, politics and the church. Serves us baby boomers right since we were the generation of don’t trust anyone over thirty. We rocked with The Who and sang these lyrics about how stupid my parent’s generation had been.

Things they do look awful cold (Talkin’ ’bout my generation)
I hope I die before I get old (Talkin’ ’bout my generation)

Sadly, like every generation since the Garden we did, in fact, get old. Writer Jeffrey Zaslow believes the advice gap between current generations is even wider today.

Older people have always offered advice to younger people, with words of wisdom culled from their memories of youth. And, of course, in every era, young people have found advice from elders to be outdated and ineffectual. These days, however, given how fast the world is changing, there’s been a clear widening of the advice gap.

It’s rooted in a devaluation of accumulated wisdom, a leveling of the relationships between old and young. On many fronts, people from Generation Y—now ages 16 to 32—assume their peers know best. They doubt those of us who are older can truly understand their needs and concerns.

Zaslow reminds us geezers and geezerettes not to get our feelings hurt.

“As for those of us who are older, we should resist feeling offended if young people shrug off our advice.”

I am not offended at all if you youngins think advice from my generation is outdated and ineffectual. We were right there with you just a few decades back.

Why don’t you all fade away (Talkin’ ’bout my generation)
And don’t try to dig what we all say (Talkin’ ’bout my generation)

I’m not trying to cause a big sensation (Talkin’ ’bout my generation)
I’m just talkin’ ’bout my generation (Talkin’ ’bout my generation)

I have read Ecclesiastes so I know there really is nothing new under the sun. Technology and culture change but human nature remains sadly consistent. So I don’t care if you don’t seek my advice on clothes, cars and jobs. In fact, I encourage you not to. No worries if you could care less what I believe about politics or investments. Paul had some words to Titus about how we older folks could and actually should influence younger men and women. By living grace filled lives dependent on Christ.

Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives.

But mostly, show them all this by doing it yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane. Then anyone who is dead set against us, when he finds nothing weird or misguided, might eventually come around. (Titus 2, The Message)

So if we follow Paul’s advice the onus falls on us (and me) to demonstrate and model the truths of God’s Word. If we demonstrate dignity, wisdom, healthy faith, love and endurance then the young men and women might be inclined to listen now and then.

And if they happen to ask my advice would be pretty simple.

• Your identity is not your job. Your job is the way you pay bills. Your identity is in Christ. You are a saint because you have been declared righteous as a gift of grace. Remind yourself of that every day.
• Living out of faith pleases God. Your actions don’t gain any favor with Him apart from faith.
• Love your spouse. There is no better testimony in this culture.
• Love your family and show it by making time for them. I have to confess that this advice comes out of some regret.
• Treasure your friends. They are the ones who provide community to live out this journey and that is how God designed it to work.
• Live in the moment. Satan loves to have us regretting the past or fearing the future. God desires to be with us in the moment.
• Model grace and truth. That balance will gain an audience with all ages.

So I am resigned to not being the guru for Generation Y. My advice may not be in great demand. But if my teaching is incorruptible and my words solid and sane (tall order) then God can use even an old fossil like me. I am trusting Him for the strength and grace to live out these truths knowing that God will do the rest. I am confident that living out these truths in grace is never outdated and never ineffectual.