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This has been a hot Texas summer. Even by Texas standards this has been a scorching July. How hot has it been? Thank you for asking.

• The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground
• Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
• The cows are giving evaporated milk.
• The trees are whistling for the dogs.
• You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
• You discover that in July  it takes only 1 finger to drive your car.
  (Note to environmental hall monitors…I am not making light of global warming. Please work with me on the analogy to follow. I wrote about how it is not easy to be green and evangelical in an earlier post.)

We are struggling to keep our lawn alive while trying to be good citizens and obeying the water conservation guidelines. Some flowers planted by our entry way have lost the battle and died. Others struggle to hang on even though we try to give them the water they need to survive. But right in the midst of the brown grass and dead flowers there are weeds springing up in healthy and green defiance of the struggle around them. And it occured to me that this is a metaphor for my Christian journey. The weeds in my life grow easily and without thought. They require no intellectual or spiritual nourishment. They just pop up.

Weeds in the yard need no care or attention. They grow in a crack in the driveway or in the middle of dead flowers. In any condition or type of soil the weeds will thrive. It takes effort to keep the weeds out…not to grow them. It requires a conscious and consistent approach to keep a yard and garden weed free.

The same principle applies to my journey with Jesus. I have weeds that grow easily in my Christian life. These weeds inhibit the growth of the fruit that Jesus tells me that I should be producing. Weeds of  laziness, lack of discipline, selfishness, and pride grow quickly and choke out the fruit that I know I should be displaying. Satan would have you think that weeds do not grow in your soul’s garden when the other fruit is growing nicely. That is a lie. They can and those spiritual weeds can happen overnight. A lack of awareness of that fact will cause the weeds to creep in and eventually destroy or at least damage the fruit.

Here is the uncomfortable bottom line. If I am a Christian living in a right relationship with Jesus then others will be able to inspect my life and find fruit.

Period.

In the Gospel of John Christ says that “my true disciples bear much fruit.”  Hmmm. I don’t really see a way around that. It is easy to grow weeds and hard to produce fruit. But no matter how hot or dry or difficult the soil might be the Lord is saying I will still bear fruit if I am His disciple.

That is all I have for today because I have to go look in the mirror. I think I will find the key to a reduced crop of  fruit production staring back at me.

 

 

My wife has many endearing qualities. But she has one trait that is really annoying. She has a amazingly fine tuned balderdash detector. I toyed with other words to title her detector but decided that even a Bad Christian should show some decorum now and then. Her gift is a problem for me. I am a world class vendor of “balderdash”. So occasionally I find myself in an uncomfortable moment. One of those moments that I used to hate was when Joni would ask me this question.

“What is God teaching you?”

I hated that question. How can you fake an answer to that one? Even if I could fool my bride (unlikely) I could certainly not fool the object of the question. I would hem and haw and then come to the uncomfortable truth.

Not much.

And that was a real revelation to me. If I could not answer that question then there is not much going on in my relationship with God. When I could not answer that question I was stagnant in my walk at best and headed in reverse at worst. Recently I have not dreaded the question from my beloved. Because God is teaching me a lot during our joint journey through Joni’s breast cancer diagnosis and treatment. Not long after diagnosis day (cancer patients and family understand the impact of  D-Day) I wrote a blog about the beginning of our journey. The article was called “Sentences that change your life”. I reviewd that as I pondered what I have learned.

So what is God teaching me through this trial? Three things immediately came to mind. 

1. I am learning that my trust is only in Him. I have no ability to control this situation. I cannot make a joke that will diffuse cancer. I can’t come up with a clever plan to circumvent this disease. I can’t ignore it and hopes it goes away. I can’t procrastinate and deal with it later. Cancer is in my face and I have no control over anything. It has been humbling and frustrating. But ultimately I have had to confess that I am helpless. King David understood in this Psalm where his strength came from… I love you, LORD; you are my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the strength of my salvation, and my stronghold.
   
   
2. I am learning that most of what we agonize over in the mundane struggles of daily living is a giant pile of, uhh, balderdash. This has been a lesson and a struggle at the same time. I find myself getting frustrated and even angry when others get upset over insignificant things. I am learning that is my problem and not theirs. I am accountable for me. I want to grab these whiners by the shoulders, shake them, and tell them how much they have to be thankful for. But I am learning that my response is to silently be grateful for my blessings. And one of those blessings is not going ballistic over nothing. My fear is that I will forget this lesson when we finish this arduous journey. Feel free to call me on that if you observe me forgetting what matters. Please.
   
   
3. I am learning that God is in control of everything. Joni told me yesterday an amazing insight that God is teaching her. Part of the struggle of this journey is your expectations of how others respond. You go into a crisis like this expecting that this person will respond this way and this person will respond that way. If your experience is like ours you will be wrong much of the time. We have been amazed at how some people come out of nowhere to support and uplift your spirits. Others you would have expected to do that do not respond according to your expectations. Joni found a devotion in a book called Praying Through Cancer. This particular article was talking about how God chooses those people that He wants to care for us. He places in their hearts a desire to pray, comfort, and reach out to us. We have been so blessed by so many who have done that in our journey. But Satan causes you to dwell on someone you “expected” to be there. I am learning that God is in control of even who cares for us. Why should I dwell on a negative when He has chosen so many wonderful people to share this journey with us.

Paul writes powerfully to the Roman church.

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death? No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels can’t, and the demons can’t. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Joni and I are learning so much. It is a tough class. We are ready to finish this course and advance. But I pray we will never forget what God is teaching us through this time.

May I annoy you by asking….what is God teaching you?

 

 

 

Regular readers of these ramblings have been contacting me this week. Thousands of irate viewers…uhh…make that hundreds….okay….seven people have written to ask what is going on? “Why I have been *&*#$^ banned from your website?” asked one reader who represents the demographic I reach. For a week I received the same message that all of you read.

“You (Bad Christian) are not authorized to view this (your very own site) website. Contact the webmaster if you think this is in error.”

And therein was the problem.

My webguy was busy cruising the seas with his beautiful bride and had no email access. Apparently a new spam filter installed to block some very persistent jerks decided to block all of us as well. Since I could not contact him we were caught in a perfect cyber storm.

So please forgive us. And be encouraged that starting Monday you will be deluged with several days of  pent up “Bad Christian” rants! Thanks for your patience. It is good to be back. Hope all seven of you feel the same!

 

The website went down a week ago and we have been unable to keep you updated via this site. So much has happened that I decided to put this update in the form of an old movie serial…

First of all we must update you on the previous episodes.

When last we left you we were poring over Joni’s white blood cell count after the last round of the very difficult A/C chemotherapy.

The counts were low but good enough for us to venture on a little R&R adventure to a lake cabin in Arkansas. We left on July 10th and headed to the hills of Ouchita National Forest.

All was going well until late in the week when Joni began to have some pain in her right arm. A late night call on Friday to our doctors in Dallas was a little unnerving. They were afraid Joni had developed blood clots and they advised us to find an emergency room right away. That was not an option in the county we were visiting. The nearest big cities were Hot Springs or Little Rock. My bride and I decided to head to Hot Springs at 11 pm in search of an emergency room.

We found the hospital and got a nurse evaluation immediately.

We were ushered into a room promptly and they ran some weird tests on Joni.

The bad news was that she did have three small blood clots. We were discouraged and little frightened. The doctor gave Joni a shot to keep the clots from increasing in size and we headed back to our lake house. Arriving at 5 am we took a little nap and then headed back to Dallas.

Part of this adventure was that Joni had to give herself a shot of the blood thinner medication each morning. This is a shot of her contemplating that the first time.

But she soon conquered that and has been giving herself shots until the other medicine gets to acceptable levels. The biggest fear was whether the blood clots had effected Joni’s port and we would have to do the next round of chemo intravenously or have another port installed. Joni did have the first round of the new regimen intravenously last Wednesday and then we did another test to see if Joni’s port was compromised. We prayed and anxiously awaited the results.

The blood clots are a concern but where they are located does not present a real danger. We have been given the symptoms to watch for to make sure nothing is changing. And we are PRAISING GOD as we report that her port is clear and we can resume using the port for the rest of her chemo.

And further good news. This round of chemo (so far) has been much easier! Joni is feeling pretty darn good and she is getting back to normal activities.

We feel like we are right back on target to defeat this foe.

Thanks for praying. Thanks for your patience while the website was down. We are really excited about the good news of late. Joni had prayed that God would send some encouragement and He has answered that request. We are encouraged about the port being clear, that this round of chemo is not so brutal, and that we are knocking down mile markers on this journey.

I look forward to the day (just a few months off) that Joni will be her irrepressible self.

We love all of you.

Dave

 

 

 

 

I am taking a week off to spend with my bride. I am posting “gently read” articles from the very early days of this blog. Some of these posts are like new…only read by little old ladies on Sunday afternoons. Seriously, many of you missed these offerings. I hope you find something to enjoy.

Blessings,

Dave

 

First I must apologize to the three or four readers who eagerly show up each weekday to read these ramblings. I was stuck on the road with a defective power pack and no other computer access. So I have to admit that I “blogged” down for a couple of days. Sorry. I am now powered up and ready to ramble.

Last night I was returning from a corporate meeting being held at a casino in Uncasville, Connecticut. Your reaction was likely the same as mine. Unca – where? Turns out it is about an hour from Hartford. But that is a future blog.

My panic happened during a routine and boring flight from Hartford to home in Dallas. I was bored with the movie and tired of reading. As I absently mindedly fiddled with my wedding band it somehow flipped up and disappeared around my seat. I immediately thought of my bride and how I would explain this one. I can always play the idiot card and that is hard to trump with me. But I knew this carried a little emotional impact beyond losing some jewelry.

I pictured that little band of gold laying somewhere on the peanut littered floor. What were the ramifications of losing it? It can be replaced I reasoned. She will understand. It is just a ring. My logic was solid and then I realized that I didn’t buy it either.

I had upgraded to first class and my seat was in the back row of the cabin so finding the ring would not be so easy. Because the passenger next to me was watching the movie I decided to wait until the movie was over to disturb him to look for the ring.  That gave me time to panic and to think.

The ring was not expensive. It was not even my first wedding band (my first one came with a gumball so I had upgraded once). But that missing ring had meaning beyond it’s pawn shop value. I had mentioned this ring in my book When Bad Christians Happen to Good People. The ring had become my symbol for what it is important in my life. There are four very small diamonds that represent the four children that have blessed our lives. Three wonderful sons are a constant source of pride and love. The fourth diamond represents our daughter Katie who died after fourteen unexpected months with us. Unexpected because Katie was only supposed to live hours or maybe days. The entertwined gold strands symbolized how my bride and I had somehow merged two very different lives into one indivisible marriage. When things get tough I have trained myself to look at that ring and it reminds me about what matters.

I thought of the nearly thirty year journey that Joni and I have traveled. I am fortunate in one thing. I married my trophy wife first and saved the hassle. But when our wedding pictures are dragged out I have to laugh. There I am with bad 70’s hair and my baby blue Dumb and Dumber tuxedo. And there is Joni looking gorgeous with her beautiful blue eyes and infectious smile. The reaction is the same for nearly every person who views those photos. A thought bubble rises over their heads with the question…”What was she thinking?”.  I have no idea. I am sure she has asked the same thing. But she has hung in with me and trusted God. She has never tried to change who I am but she has always challenged me to develop my unique design in partnership with the God who loves me. She has prayed for me and our boys more than I can even comprehend. When our marriage monitor flat lined a few years ago she did not give up. That ring symbolized the trials and the triumphs. I breathed a prayer that I would find the ring.

The flight attendant loaned me a flashlight and I crawled as best I could under the seats looking for my ring. With my derriere sticking unceremoniously into the aisle I looked in every nook and cranny. Nothing. Finally I flashed the light back into the seat bracket corner and there it was. I was relieved to find the ring and, frankly, to get my posterior out of the aisle. Slipping the ring back on I realized the value of symbols. Losing that ring would not have changed my love for my wife or our relationship. But that symbol is a reminder of love and the mystery of two lives becoming one.

      And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife….   The Message Ephesians 5

It is a mystery. I am grateful for the journey. I am grateful for the potholes and the detours and the times of smooth traveling. I am grateful I chose not to exit or turn around when the journey got tough.

There is another symbol that I cherish. It is called the cross. And I would suggest that what happened there is the reason that Joni and I are still together in this mysterious and wonderful journey.

 

 

I am taking a week off to spend with my bride. I am posting “gently read” articles from the very early days of this blog. Some of these posts are like new…only read by little old ladies on Sunday afternoons. Seriously, many of you missed these offerings. I hope you find something to enjoy.

Blessings,

Dave

 

This little planet can be depressing at times. I picked up a magazine this week and came across three quotes that made me realize how desperate we are for a little hope.

The first quote was an odd mix of funny and sad. Country singer Kenny Chesney had a very short lived and well publicized marriage to actress Renee Zellweger. His description of the pain he was feeling was like a parody of a bad country song. You know what I am talking about. Songs like My Girl Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him. Chesney compared the pain of losing that relationship to “having someone come in and take the big-screen TV off the wall during the big game, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Uhhhhh. Okay.

Perhaps we have found a key to the breakdown of this marriage. I don’t want to make light of a broken covenant but what a shallow analogy to describe the break. I would suggest that the unravelling of a marriage should be far more painful than losing electronics…even during the big game.

The next quote came from writer Albert Camus. “It is a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.” To slightly modify an old Paul McCartney and Wings lyric…”I’m so sorry, Uncle Albert…but you haven’t learned a bloody thing at all.”

I have been on both sides of the money thing. And I can tell you without reservation and snobbery free that money is unrelated to happiness. Happiness is seeing my wife at the end of a long day. Enjoying dinner with my wonderful sons (and daughter in laws). Laughing with friends. Being greeted by a Labrador retriever that thinks I am the greatest human being.

Ever.

Happiness is watching a baby toddle. A child smile. An elderly couple look at one another with that look that only decades can develop. Happiness is seeing the sun rise and hearing the birds welcome that sight. Happiness is connecting with the one who made me. That is what I was created for and my happiness is found in the simplest things of life. There is joy all around us. I choose to look for those things. Yet life happens and joy is a bit harder to choose.

In his letter to the church at Corinth Paul made the amazing statement that “I am overwhelmed with joy despite all our troubles.” 2 Cor 7:4 (MSG)

Where does that attitude come from? I can guarantee it doesn’t come from money. Money cannot buy happiness. Because we can “rent” what appears to be happiness for a season our culture confuses money with real happiness.

The third quote comes from author Thomas Wolfe who has reached the same conclusion as King Solomon in Ecclesiastes. Wolfe wrote that “Man was born to live, to suffer, and to die, and what befalls him is a tragic lot. There is no denying this in the final end. But we must deny it along the way.”

Mr. Wolfe is a brilliant writer and man. But he stopped a bit short of truth in my opinion. Man is born to live. A fallen world will produce suffering for all of us along the way. Dying is a pretty safe assumption. And tragedy does befall many if not most of us. I don’t deny a thing that Wolfe said except that we must deny those things. I choose to embrace life. I accept suffering because I am in relationship with a God who understands suffering and offers comfort that is inexplicable. I have looked tragedy in the face and found peace. Jesus had a thought or two on joy and it’s source.

“I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature.  This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you.   This is the very best way to love. John 15 (MSG)

I am no where close to saying that my joy is wholly mature. But I have hope as I write this. Hope that transcends big screens, money, and the difficulties of life. I have hope because I have found the source of joy. Paul wrote a joyful letter to the church at Philippi.

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.   Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life  Phil 4 (MSG)

It really is wonderful. If your hope is a quart low there is no shortage. But you have to want to be refilled.

 

I am taking a week off to spend with my bride. I am posting “gently read” articles from the very early days of this blog. Some of these posts are like new…only read by little old ladies on Sunday afternoons. Seriously, many of you missed these offerings. I hope you find something to enjoy.

Blessings,

Dave

 

I hope you read my blog about going to Homecoming last weekend at Baylor University. It was a wonderful weekend spent with family and friends. But I want these ramblings to be authentic and real. I have an embarrassing admission to make. I drove and parked carefully in Waco last weekend because I feared I was a wanted man. Let me explain.

October 22nd dawned sunny and pleasant in scenic Garland, Texas. I blissfully strode to the mailbox to retrieve my daily dose of catalogues, junk mail, and bills. I sorted through the stack.

“No annual fee for 12 months” – Correct. I am tearing it up.

“A Special Invitation from Miracle Ear” – I don’t like what I can hear. No thanks.

“A Charming Way to Show off Your Cleveland Browns Pride” – After last Sunday??? How about therapy?

“A Special 14 Hour Sale Just For You” – I can’t be there. You can go ahead and cancel it.

And then the heart stopper.

WARRANT ISSUED

Please be advised that Judge (I don’t want to make him mad), City of Waco Muncipal Court Judge, has issued a warrant for your arrest.

This got my attention.

This may be your last opportunity to pay.

This is Texas…that is a scary statement.

You also can be arrested at your work or home.

They would have a hard time finding me working but this is serious stuff!

My mind raced. I thought that this is going to hurt the very modest sales of my Christian books when I am cuffed and dragged off to the big house. The next thought was what the blazes had I done to be a wanted man? I called the City of Waco offices and gave them my case number (my first time to have a case number). I was thinking insanity would be my plea…witnesses would be no problem. The clerk informed me that my offense was actually a parking ticket picked up and ingnored by my first born while he attended Baylor.  I could simply admit my (his) guilt, give them a credit card number, and avoid having a humiliating mug shot on file. She turned to the records to enter my payment.

“Oh wait,” she said. “This was paid in full in 1999.”

“So if I had been pulled over in Waco this weekend I would have been cuffed and jailed for an offense that has been cleared?”

“Sorry Sir, I will fix that.”

For some reason I didn’t have a lot of confidence in the record keeping on the Brazos. I asked her to send me a copy of the debt payment just in case I somehow, inexplicably, for the first time in my life,  was caught speeding through Waco. On Thursday before Homecoming I received a notarized release of my guilt. I carried it in my pocket all weekend.

Later I thought how scary that notice was and I was innocent! I can’t imagine the fear I would have experienced had I been guilty and received that warrant.

It made me think of another life experience where I fought the law. As I examined God’s Word I realized that I could not keep the law and live a sinless life that would allow me to be declared innocent in front of a Holy God. For a while I fought the law, and the law won (is there a song in there somewhere?). But I realized I could never reconcile with a Holy God on my own merit. James says if you break one part of the law you have violated all of it.

For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. James 2:10 NIV

I had broken large chunks of the law. But when I read further I found out something very interesting. My debt had been paid in full over 2,000 years ago. I would not get a notarized copy but I would get the reassuring presence of the Holy Spirit. If I was terrified to face the City of Waco what would it be like to face a Holy and Righteous God with a warrant issued for my sin?

I will never know. My debt has been paid by Jesus. I fought the law and the Lord won. If your warrant is still active may I encourage you to get it cancelled? My email address is on this website if I can answer any questions.