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As I was finishing my first book the editor at Waterbrook Publishing asked me to submit some potential titles. I sent ten suggestions but, in keeping with my character, three of them were jokes. Imagine my surprise when one of my “smart aleck” ideas was chosen as the official title. That is how the book became “When Bad Christians Happen to Good People”. I had no idea how much that book would resonate with people who had been wounded by the church. I started the book with a rather unusual disclaimer.

I must begin with some words of disclosure. I am a hypocrite. I can be arrogant and selfish. I have been known to stretch, conceal, or slightly massage the truth. I am sometimes inconsiderate and insecure. I struggle with lust and impure thoughts. My ego often rages out of control, and I battle foolish pride. I can be lazy and foolhardy with my time. I get angry, petty, and ill tempered. I am sarcastic and cynical.

I am a Christian.

That is how I started this book when it was first published and ten years later I got to do a revised version.

As I look back over those words years later I have a sad confession to make. I have made some progress yet all of the disclaimers I wrote about then are still in play today. A lot has changed in my life since that first edition went to press. One of the dangers of writing is that your words go into your permanent record. If you write something that you regret you cannot seek deferred adjudication or buy up all of the copies in existence. Actually I might be able to do that with my incredibly modest selling second book but that is another story.

When I wrote the first edition of this book I was a little angry. Okay, at times I was a lot angry. I had seen and experienced the damage that is done by those claiming the name of Christ while demonstrating virtually none of His teachings. I wrote with passion and honesty. In retrospect perhaps a little too much honesty came out of my passion. God has taught me a lot since the original version of this book arrived in book stores. This revision will reflect some of that journey. My wife’s trial with breast cancer and more pain from the church further defined my walk with Christ. But one significant event has changed my very relationship with Jesus and forms the basis of a brand new chapter (no peeking for repeat readers…you will know which one).

So I get the rare author mulligan. A blessed do over. A chance to put at least a clarifying note into my permanent record. And I am grateful to my friends at WaterBrook Press for the chance. This book started with an honest declaration of my brokenness and shortcomings. That I can be a bit of a jerk and I am a Christian.That surprised a lot of you. It shouldn’t have. If there is one theme about our faith that should be communicated it is that we all fall short of the mark.  That is why we need a Savior and not a self-salvation checklist.  Author Max Lucado has a wonderful line. He says that God loves you just the way you are, but He refuses to leave you that way. So all of us believers are somewhere on that continuum of where we started and where God wants us to be. But that realization seems to penetrate our thinking only sporadically. In fact, there are those among us who will call me a counterfeit since I admit to such unflattering traits. They will write and tell me that if I had their brand of faith, I would be above any of these sins all of the time. I believe they would be wrong.

In the revised version I got the chance to detail my grace epiphany that changed everything. You will read the remarkable story of our precious daughter Katie. I show how I learned that God is more concerned about my heart than He is about me getting upset with others. I can control how I respond to people. I can decide who I turn to in times of frustration, anger and trial.

My original working title was “Don’t Reject Christ Because of Christians”. That is still my fear today that I will not reflect the amazing grace of Jesus. Since my eye (and heart opening) change I have lived this truth from the Gospel of John.

From His abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another.

I hope you will be encouraged by my journey through trials inflicted by the church and my own lack of understanding about where my identity should be found.

Waterbrook and Multnomah are offering an incredible eBook special for When Bad Christians Happen to Good People. You can buy the eBook version for $1.99 until November 4th. That is less than a Grande drip coffee at Starbucks! Check it out at your favorite retailer by clicking on a link below.

Amazon.com

Barnes and Noble

Christianbook.com

This was an interesting week. The lovely Mrs. Burchett acquired a brand new knee on Monday (so I was nursing and not musing last week). She is doing great and will be chasing grand kids in short order. The day before surgery a brief but violent storm took down multiple power poles in our neighborhood leaving us without power. We hoped it would be quickly resolved but the reports said we would likely be without power until Friday.

Now I had a conundrum dealing with a convalescing wife in a home without power. Do I curse the darkness (literally) or do I address the problem with determination and good cheer? That is a choice. I would venture that any energy wasted on complaining and assigning blame is wasted energy. I put out a call to friends and family for a generator. We found one and had the generator up and running by Monday night. We were able to power the refrigerator, a lamp, a coffee pot (surprise) and a couple of fans. From that modest base we were able to do everything we needed to do to take care of my beautiful patient. Urban camping actually became kind of a fun challenge as the days went by. I turned on the light switch every single time I walked into a dark room proving how much I am a creature of habit. Flashlights were my constant companion. The unexpected blessing was not watching any television news.

After we figured out how to navigate this inconvenience I thought about the timing of this event. It was not the best time for a power outage but we made it work. I thought about how blessed we are to have power, internet, appliances and all of the things we take for granted 99 percent of the time. My inconvenience is the everyday existence for much of the world and often a hundred times worse. My cold shower reminded me of the blessing of hot water that I rarely am thankful for. I did learn that cold showers could be a tremendous water saving feature.

I spent a lot of time last week being grateful for what I have and generally take for granted. Gratitude is the stabilizer for my spiritual walk. I think I can make a pretty good case that growing a grateful heart is the foundational attitude of the fruit of the Spirit—love,joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. It is that important. Gratitude keeps me from envy, if I can mentally pivot to the many things I am blessed to enjoy. Gratitude keeps me from anger, if I can be grateful for how patient God is with my myriad of shortcomings. Gratitude keeps me from frustration, when it reminds me how much worse things could be. I have programmed a trigger into my gratitude response. When I start getting cranky about my back pain, I think of my friend Mike (and others) who live in constant pain. I become grateful that my pain is not constant, and I am reminded to pray for them. A simple mind-set change can take me from self-pity to prayer for others.

I am also asking God to give me a heart to pray for anyone who makes me angry with his or her thoughtlessness or rudeness. What is hurting that person’s heart so much that the response is filled with such venom? Full disclosure . . . I am not there by any means. But when I can respond with an attitude of gratitude, it is the most freeing feeling. Maybe that is the best way to be grateful consistently. When I get outside my little world and see the suffering and sadness around me, I fall to my knees in thanksgiving for how fortunate I am.

Would you join me in meditation on these two verses this week? We can’t control our circumstances but we can control our response. Gratitude is a great foundation to build from.

 Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

When I need “comfort” music I often go country. Tracy Lawrence has a simple yet thought provoking song called “As Easy As Our Blessings.” Here is the opening stanza:

Lately I’ve been having more nights that I can’t sleep
Storms of life keep blowing in sometimes it gets so heavy
It drives me to my knees and it’s coming down again
Then a voice inside reminds me of the roof over my head
And my wife and kids are tucked away warmly in their beds

I have written often about Satan’s strategy to rob us of our joy. When we spend our time regretting the past or living in fear of the future we cannot live in peace in the moment. Paul addressed the syndrome in his letter to the church at Philippi.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4 NIV

Perhaps the most insidious tactic of the enemy is to suggest that troubles demonstrate that God is not there or that He has abandoned us. I think one of the dangerous and maybe even deceitful things that Christians communicate is that coming to faith in Jesus will make your life trouble free. Perhaps we should have a warning label with every presentation of the gospel.

  Caution – “In this world you will have trouble”.  (Read the small print in Mark and John, this truth IS in the brochure)

Coming to faith does not remove the trouble from our lives. Jesus is not a money back guarantee for perfect health, unlimited prosperity, and non-stop giddiness. Trouble is a part of life. Problems refine or ruin us. That is where Jesus comes in.

I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue  to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.  The Message  John 16

That is what I have discovered in my journey with Jesus. When life delivers the inevitable I can be assured, deeply at peace, and even unshakable. NBA star Alonzo Manning faced a career ending illness but his response was interesting. “Adversity introduces a man to himself.” I would suggest that adversity introduces a person to their faith. Does it stand up to the hard times? Jesus came to give us life and to help us get through the risks that living life brings.

Part of that strategy is always taking a step back and remembering all of the blessings that we have in our lives. Tracy Lawrence asks a question that my not be theologically correct but it is thought provoking.

Up in heaven sometimes I wonder if God sits there and listens
To all his children thinking it’d be nice if we’d forget our troubles as easy as our blessings

I doubt that God sits there and thinks how nice it would be if we’d forget our troubles. I suspect He is saddened by our lack of trust in Him. Paul has a prayer about how we can experience the joy and peace that we long to feel.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.  (Romans 15, NLT)

Recognize that God is the source of hope and then trust in Him to meet your need. The second stanza of Tracy Lawrence’s song suggests that keeping an up to date accounting of our blessings is another key to joy.

Suddenly I don’t feel like counting what I need
So I start counting what I have when times are at their toughest
My wife still stands by me and my children make me laugh
Then I crawl back in bed and start to think as I lay there
Could it be that he’s already heard and answered all my prayers

The chorus sums it up.

It’d be nice if we’d forget our troubles as easy as our blessings.

Human nature likely makes that impossible. But it is possible to remember the source of our blessings and to remember that God will fill us completely with joy and peace if we trust Him.

Regular readers of these humble ramblings (all tens of you) know what an over the top dog lover I am. I shared this illustration in my book Stay.

A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, “Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side.”

Very quietly, the doctor said, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?”

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side of which came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, “Did you notice my dog? He’s never been in this room before. He didn’t know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing… I know my Master is there and that is enough.”  (Source unknown)

I love that thought. One of the stories that did not make the book Stay about our Golden Retriever Charlie was detailed in my last book Waking Up Slowly. Charlie developed a large benign tumor under his front leg that made walking difficult. We took him in for what would be a rather serious surgery at his ripe old canine age of twelve. The vet did a masterful job in removing the growth and taking care of Charlie. My spiritual epiphany occurred when we were called to the animal hospital to pick him up. We waited as they brought Charlie out. He shuffled slowly out and I was taken aback by his appearance. Charlie was trembling, frightened and appeared to be in some pain. His head was down and his perpetual motion tail was strangely still. He seemed confused and disoriented. Then I walked over to Charlie and simply touched him. Almost immediately he quit trembling and he made a valiant attempt to wag his tail. We carefully got him into the car and took Charlie home to heal.

As I reflected on that scene it struck me that Charlie’s reaction to my touch and mere presence was a wonderful illustration of how Jesus comforts (or desires to comfort) me. When I (his master) touched Charlie he was comforted. His pain was not gone. He was still frightened. He was still a bit disoriented and unsure. Charlie’s circumstances hadn’t really changed at all. But he knew that his master was there and that made it better. What a picture that is of how the touch of Jesus enables us to respond when we are frightened, in pain, disoriented and confused. We need to remind ourselves that Jesus never promised that all trouble would vanish when we believe in Him. In fact the opposite often happens. Jesus did promise that He would be there and that would be enough. My prayer for myself and for you today is that we will seek, realize, and be comforted by the touch of the Master in times of difficulty. Paul realized that contentment is not found in good circumstances. He wrote these words from prison while chained to a Roman soldier.

I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Philippians 4, The Message)

I am so grateful that Paul did not write I “am” content and I “know” the secret. He was divinely inspired to honestly write that he had “learned” to be content and he had “learned” the secret of being content. It did come naturally or easily to Paul either. Don’t be discouraged. If you are following Jesus and seeking the touch of the Master then you are learning as well. Contentment is learning how to be present in the present with Jesus. Our nature is to not enjoy the moment at hand and the blessings that usually surround us. Satan would have us living in regret of the past and fear of the future. Jesus said to follow Him. He told us our past is forgiven and our future is in His Hands. Enjoy the moment. Seek the touch of the Master. And continue “learning” to be content. It will change your life.

I would love to share more stories with you of faith, love and grace in my latest book Stay:Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace. Click here for more info.

I had some social media fun with the picture above helpfully proclaiming “YOU ARE HERE”. As if I could be anywhere else while I was, well, there.

But as you probably already suspect that picture produced some musing that begat today’s blog. For years I wandered spiritually wondering where I was on my journey. Was I going to Heaven? Was I a good, bad, or indifferent Christian? Was I loved? Was I significant? The question of where I was as a follower of Christ and who I was as a person consumed and confused me.

The always present Enemy answered the questions above on a regular basis. Likely not going to Heaven. Definitely a bad Christian. Not really loved by God or bad things wouldn’t happen to you. Totally insignificant. The following is a little excerpt on this topic from my latest book Waking Up Slowly.

For too many years I believed the accusations, without considering the question that Philip Yancey asks.

Sociologists have a theory of the looking-glass self: you become what the most important person in your life (wife, father, boss, etc.) thinks you are. How would my life change if I truly believed the Bible’s astounding words about God’s love for me, if I looked in the mirror and saw what God sees?

I am learning to look into the mirror and see someone that I accept by faith and not by my feelings. I see a saint. That’s right. Many (maybe most) of Satan’s accusations are true. But what I now see is a man who is a saint. I found forty references to saints in Paul’s writings in the English Standard Version. From his additional descriptions, I am pretty sure that the recipients of his letters were not always behaving like saints. They were saints because of Christ, and not by meticulously following the law.

God sees those who trust Jesus as righteous, no matter how many accusations are thrown at them. Amazing.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.

(Ephesians 1:3-5, NLT)

That is my (and your) identity as a follower of Jesus. Holy and without fault in His eyes. I will be accused again, probably sooner than later. But I am learning to simply say this to myself: “That is not who I am anymore. I am holy because of Christ.”

When I forget that truth, I allow doubt, confusion, shame, and sadness to creep in. Not leaning on the finished work of Jesus as my strength and identity sets me up for a frustrating masquerade of faith.

There may be no element more important to living fully in the moment with God than accepting that I am loved by Him right now just as I am. That is so counterintuitive to how “love” so often works in my experience. I have talked with too many men who justify their extramarital relationships by saying they deserve more than their current marriage provides. It always hurts my heart because those they hurt deeply do not deserve to be wounded by betrayal. I try to never forget what I said on that July day more than forty years ago to my bride. I made vows to Joni Lynn Banks before God. I did not sign a contract with escape clauses based on my happiness at any given point in time.

The world speaks a different love language. “I will love you while you are attractive.” “I will love you when you make me happy.” “I will love you when you do what I ask you to do.” Human love almost always includes conditional elements. That is not God’s love.

The Lord your God is in your midst; he is a warrior who can deliver.
He takes great delight in you; he renews you by his love; he shouts for joy over you.
(Zephaniah 3:17, NET)

The attributes of God’s love are mind boggling. It is personal. You and I can relate to God the Creator of the universe as our Father. Think about that. I mean really think about that. I am conditioned to believe that if something seems too good to be true, then I am being deceived. That is what Satan would have me believe. But the stunning radicality of grace is that what seems to be too good to be true is more true than I can imagine.

(Reprinted with permission of Tyndale Publishing, All Rights Reserved)

So where am I today? No matter what my physical location might be I have both feet firmly planted on the foundation of my identity in Christ. I am putting my full weight on His Grace. No matter where I am that is who I am! And it is a really peaceful place to be after all these years.

Waking Up Slowly makes a great 21 day devotional book. Check it out!

I was blown away the first time I heard Lauren Daigle’s song “You Say”. The lyrics perfectly describe the battle that most of us fight to believe that what God says about us is true. Here is a sample of her powerful lyrics.

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know…

I wrote about this topic in my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace.

I am drawn to wounded and dysfunctional people like a moth to light. When I hear their stories, I see a familiar pattern. They tend to believe that all the old junk in their lives is still true about them in God’s eyes. Too many followers of Jesus cannot believe they are a new and holy creation.

Recently I saw a T-shirt with this message: “Even if the voices in my head aren’t real they do have some good ideas”.

I got an initial chuckle out of that one. But then I thought, Wait! The voices in my head rarely have good ideas.

I suspect that is true for some of you as well. Sadly, the voices in our heads are real, formidable foes, voices that were programmed from childhood. Negative comments from parents, teachers, coaches, siblings, friends, fellow Christians, and assorted others have laid down deeply grooved tracks in my self-image soundtrack mix. Favorite cuts like these are always cued and ready to be played.

“You will never change.”
“What were you thinking?”
“I can’t believe you did that again.”
“What is wrong with you?”
“I am so disappointed in you.”

And the number one accusation on my personal Top 10 countdown . . .

“How could you be so stupid?”

That one cued up and replayed just this weekend when I locked my rental car keys in the trunk. When you mess up, the voices begin. And then your own voice joins the chorus. “It is true. I am not worthy. I am not enough. I am stupid. I don’t deserve to be loved.”

When you face disappointment, rejection, failure, loss, and trials, self-incriminating remarks flood your mind.

Why wasn’t I a better (pick one) spouse/friend/brother/sister/relative?”
“If I had done (insert action), this would not have happened.”
“Why didn’t I (insert missed opportunity) when I had the chance?”
“Why did I (pick one or more) work too much/travel too much/whatever too much when I should have been there?”

If I may lean on my sports background here, Satan calls the all-out blitz when people of faith go through seasons of trial and doubt. He delights in accusing and trying to rock the very foundation of your faith. Satan is, always has been, and always will be a liar. You have learned to never trust a liar at work or in other relationships. How much more should we pray to recognize and reject the lies that Satan attacks us with during adversity?

There is another voice. It is much softer and requires more effort to hear. It is not a voice of shame. It is a voice of hope, love, acceptance, forgiveness, and grace. You have to slow way down and be quiet to hear this voice.

Lauren Daigle’s lyrics describe this voice poetically.

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe
What You say of me
I believe

All of us hear those voices from the enemy. The voices from bad experiences in our past may require counseling to help erase them. But for the everyday challenges of the journey, I have learned that the voice we tend to hear first in the spiritual battle is the loud one. Step back, be still, and listen for the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit.

Our God is a God of forgiveness. We need to fix our eyes on Jesus. Don’t lose heart. Don’t allow the enemy to keep you from leaning on God for comfort because of your shame. That is not from the Lord.

In John we read this amazing promise.

But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. (John 1:12, NLT)

Don’t believe the lies. You are a child of God. Beloved. As Lauren Daigle sings this truth I pray that we will believe it today.

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity,

It is true. Believe it.

Excerpts taken from Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace

OK, I admit it. I like country music. I also like rock, Motown, jazz, pop, folk, gospel, and classical music. I once tried to distance myself from country in an ill-fated attempt to be sophisticated. To quote an old family idiom, that effort was like putting earrings on a hog. I am a small town boy and my roots are in the hills of Kentucky. So I no longer deny that I have a few banjos and some fine squirrel recipes in my genetic pool.

In addition to my chromosomal predisposition toward Nashville, I am developing a deep appreciation for the honesty of country music. It is one of the few safe places to discuss God, country, and old-fashioned values without fear of politically correct busybodies getting their undergarments twisted. We all laugh at a few outrageously titled country tunes, but there are many songs that reflect exactly who I am: a proud father, a husband who married way up, a patriotic American, and an unabashed follower of Jesus.

Recently a song from country duo Montgomery Gentry popped up on the iPod. The title track from their CD Back When I Knew It All resonates with me. The lyrics describe the passage for many of us:

Back when the world was flat and mama and daddy didn’t have a clue
That was back
Back when a pitcher of beer and a couple shots made me bulletproof
Back when God was a name I used in vain to get a point across when I got ticked off
Lord I’m learning so much more
Than back when I knew it all

I realize now how little I really knew about being a man and about walking with Jesus when I started out. I had bad theology based on performance so it should come as no big surprise that I was incredibly inconsistent in how I lived out my faith. I was judgmental because I knew exactly what those “sinners” should be doing. I didn’t know their circumstances or challenges but that did not matter. I didn’t care enough to pray for them or come alongside them to help. I just knew they were wrong. At least I felt that way back when I knew it all. Here is another part of the song:

I’ve learned that love is a woman that will settle you down
A Sunday sermon can turn life around
Man I can’t believe all the answers I’ve found
Since, back when I knew it all.

Paul wrote these words to the church at Colossae:

And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness (Colossians 2:6-7 NLT).

I am grateful for how much God has taught me since “I knew it all.” The first step was realizing how untrue that feeling was. Now I am amazed at how much I don’t know. The second step was seeking the source of real truth. The journey I am on right now is to really trust that truth and not just know it. I am overflowing with thankfulness that God was patient during the time that I thought I knew it all.

I am learning slowly that trusting truth really does transform you. Especially when you realize you don’t know it all.

Check out my new book at WakingUpSlowly.com