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I have been writing a lot about where our hope truly lies and that we need to be a positive light in a negative world. Last week Joni and I were meeting with our wonderful church small group from Waterbrook Bible Fellowship. The study was from John and we each read a verse from the passage. Here is my verse and I am not making this up.

“Stop grumbling among yourselves,” Jesus answered. (John 6:43)

I laughed and told the group this might become my new life verse for this very negative cultural season. The verse follows a section where Jesus talks about how He is the bread of life and has come from Heaven. This was just too much for the locals who knew Him as the kid raised by Mary and Joseph down at the carpenter shop. But the message is timeless. I need to stop grumbling and start living out of who God says I am as His child. Maybe that is why God calls me His child because I sure can be childish at times.

The grumbling verse reminded me of one of my favorite grace parables. A vineyard owner hired some workers at 9 in the morning to help bring in the harvest. Jesus continues the story.

“At five o’clock that afternoon he was in town again and saw some more people standing around. He asked them, ‘Why haven’t you been working today?’ “They replied, ‘Because no one hired us.’ “The landowner told them, ‘Then go out and join the others in my vineyard. (Matthew 20:6-7)

So far the story is nice. A kind and compassionate man wants to help some poor folks who had no work. They could work an hour and at least get a tiny bit for their effort. But Jesus is about to turn the “fairness” doctrine over like a table in the Temple.

 “That evening he told the foreman to call the workers in and pay them, beginning with the last workers first. When those hired at five o’clock were paid, each received a full day’s wage. When those hired first came to get their pay, they assumed they would receive more. But they, too, were paid a day’s wage. When they received their pay, they protested to the owner, ‘Those people worked only one hour, and yet you’ve paid them just as much as you paid us who worked all day in the scorching heat.’

“He answered one of them, ‘Friend, I haven’t been unfair! Didn’t you agree to work all day for the usual wage? Take your money and go. I wanted to pay this last worker the same as you. Is it against the law for me to do what I want with my money? Should you be jealous because I am kind to others?’

“So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last.” (Matthew 20:8-16, NLT)

Can’t you just see it? The grumbling of the sweaty and exhausted all day workers decrying that they had been treated unfairly yet the truth is they got exactly the wage they agreed upon. I wondered about the reaction of the latecomers. Did they gloat about their luck? I don’t think so. I imagine they wept at the kindness of an unmerited gift given by a kind man. At 4 pm they faced the prospect of going home with nothing to provide for their family but two hours later they had been given, not earned, a full days wage! Think of the joy as the men went home and excitedly told about this amazing generosity. The family likely gathered around and touched the denarius like a sacred gift from Heaven. What a contrast of joy from a once forgotten group of men juxtaposed against the grumbling of the people who had done the “right” thing and expected to be treated better. What a picture of grace! We don’t earn grace by a full day or one hour effort. Grace is a gift. Grace is an unearned gift of love to be savored, appreciated and treasured.  Brennan Manning wrote about the incomprehensibility of grace to the American mindset.

My life is a witness to vulgar grace — a grace that amazes as it offends. A grace that pays the eager beaver who works all day long the same wage as the grinning drunk who shows up at ten till five. A grace that hikes up the robe and runs breakneck toward the prodigal reeking of sin and wraps him up and decides to throw a party, no ifs, ands, or buts. A grace that raises bloodshot eyes to a dying thief’s request — “Please, remember me” — and assures him, “You bet!”…This vulgar grace is indiscriminate compassion. It works without asking anything of us. It’s not cheap. It’s free, and as such will always be a banana peel for the orthodox foot and a fairy tale for the grown-up sensibility. Grace is sufficient even though we huff and puff with all our might to try and find something or someone that it cannot cover. Grace is enough…

Indeed. Grace is enough when I simple relax and receive this amazing gift.

Rich Mullins was (and still is) one of my favorite Christian songwriters. It seems impossible that it was 20 years ago today that he was killed in a car accident. His music impacted me greatly and this song was one of my favorites.

“We Are Not As Strong As We Think We Are” opens with this stanza.

Well, it took the hand of God Almighty
To part the waters of the sea
But it only took one little lie
To separate you and me
Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are.

If only we could acknowledge that we are not as strong as we think we are and then live accordingly I believe we would see an amazing difference. We need God and community to be spiritually and emotionally healthy. Yet pride tells me that I am able to handle the situation. Fear tells me that telling the truth in love will only make it worse. So one little lie or misunderstanding dealt with in my own strength negates the strength of a God who could part the waters of the seas and could no doubt heal my pain. If I let Him.

I remember when a major food company recalled thousands of chili cans that were tainted with deadly toxins. A later follow-up to that story told about cans of chili exploding as the pressure built up inside the containers.
That is a messy and disgusting metaphor for how we deal with the internal toxins of gossip, slander and hurt. We seal them up and store them away hoping it will somehow be okay. But the toxins of gossip and slander have not been killed, only compartmentalized. The pain continues to grow, slowly and inexorably. Finally the pressure builds to the point of explosion. There is a better way.

James wrote these words to the early church:

It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. (James 3:6, The Message)

James doesn’t pull any punches, does he? One good way to cling to unity is by not believing the gossip that is spread about. And we certainly shouldn’t spread it any further. Gossip is a parasite that requires a host organism to survive; don’t give gossip a place to live. Think of how many times you have believed something to be true only to find out the information was mostly or even totally wrong. The threat of a libel or slander lawsuit causes some of us to be cautious in our written remarks about others. But we’re not so careful about discussing our brothers and sisters. We need to give them the grace that we would hope for if the roles were reversed.

God is serious about how we communicate about others in the flock. Peter writes:

Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. (1 Peter 3:8-9, NLT)

So there is an added bonus for your godly communication: a blessing at no extra charge. Rich Mullin’s wrote this in the chorus of the song.

We are frail
We are fearfully and wonderfully made
Forged in the fires of human passion
Choking on the fumes of selfish rage
And with these our hells and our heavens
So few inches apart
We must be awfully small
And not as strong as we think we are.

No, we are not as strong as we think we are. Rich Mullins wrote another song that you probably know.

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God.

We need to acknowledge that He is God and we are not. That He reigns with wisdom, power, and love. We need to leave our pride at the altar and depend on His grace and strength. And we need to not be deceived about this simple truth. We are not as strong as we THINK we are.

Check out the new book at WakingUpSlowly.com.

If you read more than a snippet of my writings you know that I am a grace guy. But there is a question that confounds me.

“If grace based theology as the way to live out the Christian life is true then why is it not more popular in the church?”

That is a great question. I have been swept away by grace. Everything in my life has been changed by taking away my performance based faith and believing in Christ’s performance for me.

During a recent football telecast I thought about a parallel between one of my least favorite football strategies and this grace conundrum. Perhaps it was an insight from the Holy Spirit. Perhaps it was simply because my brain is not wired to factory specs. But this idea popped in my mind. A lot of football teams play a defense that is called the prevent defense. That style of defense is designed to allow the opponent short yardage gains as the defense tries to prevent big plays and long touchdowns. The theory is that if you can force the other team to settle for short gains they will eventually make a mistake, get called for a penalty or simply fail to get the yardage needed.

I thought about the opponent we line up against as followers of Christ. It occurred to me that Satan played a kind of “prevent” defense in my spiritual journey for many years. It was almost like the Enemy was willing to give up short gains of spiritual growth and ministry as long as I focused on my own efforts to keep grinding out more gains. Satan, like a good defensive coordinator, believed that I would make a mistake and then he could pounce on my miscue and cause a costly turnover. My failure would cause me to doubt myself, my commitment and my worth. When I made a mistake Satan’s play by play announcer would broadcast loudly in my head.

“You have failed again. Jesus must be really disappointed with this effort but He certainly is not surprised. Dave has been a disappointing member of the team since he joined.”

After another failure I would get tentative and fearful. The announcer always chimed in.

“Certainly no reason to expect victory from Dave this time. He has failed over and over in this very situation. To be honest, I am not sure why Jesus even keeps him on the roster. Expect him to be cut soon.”

The goal line of joy and freedom and peace seemed more and more difficult to reach. Finally I was happy just to make a short gain now and then. I seldom sustained a lengthy drive of positive spiritual gains.

But then I discovered a new offense. A game plan that Satan can’t defend. When I lined up with grace there was no way for the Enemy to keep me from the goal of freedom and joy. Instead of grinding out each painful yard with begrudging self-effort I simply followed the lead block of the Spirit and ran with confidence. I remembered my team identity and the power that was promised from that association. I believed that I would be victorious not because of my skill but because of Christ.

Maybe the analogy is a stretch. Maybe not. Since I detest the prevent defense in football it seems logical it came from Satan. I do think there is something to consider in the idea that Satan “gives” us little gains and tries really hard to stop the big ones. I believe that grace scares the Enemy more that anything we do because grace relies on surrender and trust. My self-effort against the ruler of this world is a long shot. My surrendered life to Jesus is a sure victory. Jesus has fought this battle and won. Why we would we not depend on His game plan to reach the goal? I will meditate on these words from Hebrews this week.

So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.  (Hebrews 4, NLT)

Check out Dave’s new book Waking Up Slowly here.

I am amazed by people who are so brazenly sure they are right about what they believe. I have friends who are completely sure there is no God and there is no logical need for such beliefs. They believe science is the ultimate answer for everything and they view my faith as a naive weakness. I have always felt that absolute certainty is the trump card of a fool. So I will be honest. I have wrestled with doubt in my faith journey. I am not convinced that I know everything. Here is a bit of what I wrote about that journey in Waking Up Slowly.

The story line of the movie Risen was intriguing to me. Historically, there was a Nazarene who was crucified, and two groups had a tremendous interest in making sure that his death was the end of the story. The Romans wanted no movement to grow so large that it would cause political unrest. The Jewish leaders wanted to stamp out the heresy that they believed this Teacher was spreading, in order to keep their power intact. It was a win-win situation for the religious leaders and Rome to eliminate this messianic hope of the people. The story is told through the eyes of a Roman military tribune named Clavius tasked by Pilate to make sure Jesus’ crazy followers did not steal the body. A story had been circulating that the Nazarene would rise again in three days, so Clavius made sure the massive stone was rolled into place over the entrance to the tomb and sealed. Roman soldiers guarded the tomb, knowing full well they could be killed if they failed to keep the body secured.

Three days later the body was gone, and Clavius began a desperate hunt. The battle-hardened soldier could not accept that this Nazarene named Jesus could have somehow comeback to life. That is a step of faith that people are still wrestling with two thousand years later. But it is the most important question of all, if you are to put your faith in Jesus.

If Jesus did not rise from the dead, then there really is no difference in this man and any other great moral teacher. But if Jesus did rise from the dead, then His words are different from the words of any other teacher. All of Christianity depends on what happened in that event.

Risen explores the imagined lengths that the Romans and religious leaders went to in order to quell the rumor that Jesus had risen. They tried to find the body (or any similar body that might pass for his) that could be displayed to stop the rumors. They were not successful.

I struggled with these same questions forty-something years ago:

• How could the body disappear?
• How did a bunch of cowards like the apostles become heroes of the faith and become willing to die martyrs’ deaths? Simply because they stole the body out of a tomb?
• Could they have kept a lie of such massive implications secret?

I love the way former Watergate principal Chuck Colson honestly evaluated the event:

I know the resurrection is a fact, and Watergate proved it to me. How? Because 12 men testified they had seen Jesus raised from the dead, then they proclaimed that truth for 40 years, never once denying it. Everyone was beaten, tortured, stoned and put in prison.

They would not have endured that if it weren’t true. Watergate embroiled 12 of the most powerful men in the world—and they couldn’t keep a lie for three weeks. You’re telling me 12 apostles could keep a lie for 40 years? Absolutely impossible.

Honest people can view the same evidence and come up with completely different opinions. I wrestled with the claims of Jesus Christ for a long time before I decided to believe that He was who He claimed to be. And I remember feeling exactly what the fictional character Clavius felt when he was asked what he feared most: “Being wrong. Wagering eternity on it.” I have never been able to accept the idea that there is no design or purpose to this life. People who do not accept faith think that humankind naturally evolved into doing the right things in community for the common good. I believe something or Someone writes that on our hearts. I see creative genius that I cannot account for as accidental.

Perhaps the most important argument for me is the impact that the Nazarene teacher has had on my life. I have haphazardly attempted to follow Him for many years. Tolstoy’s quote fittingly describes my awkward attempts: “If I know the way home and am walking along it drunkenly, is it any less the right way because I am staggering from side to side!”  The apostles followed Jesus and saw that it was not an easy choice at times. Many followers were deserting Jesus after some difficult teaching.

At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him. Then Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked, “Are you also going to leave?” Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God.” (John 6:66-69, NLT)

That is my belief. I am drawn to Jesus. I believe that God decided to redeem man through this outlandish plan. No religion offers redemption without works other than the gospel of Jesus. I believe I have seen His hand over and over in my life. But if I am wrong and had the opportunity to live my life over again, I can honestly say I would change nothing.

I consider a life pursuing the impossible goal of becoming like Jesus to be more valuable than any honor or possession I could attain. The teachings of Jesus are so amazing and so radical that I cannot imagine that any man could have imagined them. If you drill down into just His words, you will find a sacred pathway that is worth seeking.

I believe my marriage is still intact because I have followed the teachings of Jesus. I don’t say that lightly. I honestly believe that without that faith commitment, Joni and I would not have survived. Whatever kind things that my friends and colleagues might say about me are in large part due to how I believe I should respond to them based on the words of Christ. I have been shaped and matured by this radical Rabbi who changed history. He changed me.

Tim Keller puts it this way:

The Christian Gospel is that I am so flawed that Jesus had to die for me, yet I am so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me. This leads to deep humility and deep confidence at the same time. It undermines both swaggering and sniveling. I cannot feel superior to anyone, and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone. I do not think more of myself nor less of myself. Instead, I think of myself less.

I have been changed by these truths. I have confronted my doubts and I have chosen to stay focused on the claims of this Rabbi from Nazareth. If I am wagering my eternity, I choose to wager on Jesus.

I had some social media fun with the picture above helpfully proclaiming “YOU ARE HERE”. As if I could be anywhere else while I was, well, there.

But as you probably already suspect that picture produced some musing that begat today’s blog. For years I wandered spiritually wondering where I was on my journey. Was I going to Heaven? Was I a good, bad, or indifferent Christian? Was I loved? Was I significant? The question of where I was as a follower of Christ and who I was as a person consumed and confused me.

The always present Enemy answered the questions above on a regular basis. Probably not going to Heaven. Definitely a bad Christian. Not really loved or bad things wouldn’t happen to you. Totally insignificant. The following is a little excerpt on this topic from my latest book Waking Up Slowly.

For too many years I believed the accusations, without considering the question that Philip Yancey asks.

Sociologists have a theory of the looking-glass self: you become what the most important person in your life (wife, father, boss, etc.) thinks you are. How would my life change if I truly believed the Bible’s astounding words about God’s love for me, if I looked in the mirror and saw what God sees?

I am learning to look into the mirror and see someone that I accept by faith and not by my feelings. I see a saint. That’s right. Many (maybe most) of Satan’s accusations are true. But what I now see is a man who is a saint. I found forty references to saints in Paul’s writings in the English Standard Version. From his additional descriptions, I am pretty sure that the recipients of his letters were not always behaving like saints. They were saints because of Christ, and not by meticulously following the law.

God sees those who trust Jesus as righteous, no matter how many accusations are thrown at them. Amazing.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.

(Ephesians 1:3-5, NLT)

That is my (and your) identity as a follower of Jesus. Holy and without fault in His eyes. I will be accused again, probably sooner than later. But I am learning to simply say this to myself: “That is not who I am anymore. I am holy because of Christ.”

When I forget that truth, I allow doubt, confusion, shame, and sadness to creep in. Not leaning on the finished work of Jesus as my strength and identity sets me up for a frustrating masquerade of faith.

There may be no element more important to living fully in the moment with God than accepting that I am loved by Him right now just as I am. That is so counterintuitive to how “love” so often works in my experience. I have talked with too many men who justify their extramarital relationships by saying they deserve more than their current marriage provides. It always hurts my heart because those they hurt deeply do not deserve to be wounded by betrayal. I try to never forget what I said on that July day more than forty years ago to my bride. I made vows to Joni Lynn Banks before God. I did not sign a contract with escape clauses based on my happiness at any given point in time.

The world speaks a different love language. “I will love you while you are attractive.” “I will love you when you make me happy.” “I will love you when you do what I ask you to do.” Human love almost always includes conditional elements. That is not God’s love.

The Lord your God is in your midst; he is a warrior who can deliver.
He takes great delight in you; he renews you by his love; he shouts for joy over you.
(Zephaniah 3:17, NET)

The attributes of God’s love are mind boggling. It is personal. You and I can relate to God the Creator of the universe as our Father. Think about that. I mean really think about that. I am conditioned to believe that if something seems too good to be true, then I am being deceived. That is what Satan would have me believe. But the stunning radicality of grace is that what seems to be too good to be true is more true than I can imagine.

(Reprinted with permission of Tyndale Publishing, All Rights Reserved)

So where am I today? No matter what my physical location might be I have both feet firmly planted on the foundation of my identity in Christ. I am putting my full weight on His Grace. No matter where I am that is who I am! And it is a really peaceful place to be after all these years.

My heart has been deeply saddened by the racial tension that has surfaced recently with frightening intensity. Like many white Americans I rationalize that I am not a part of the problem. I have always condemned those organizations that teach hate toward my brothers and sisters of color so I felt like I was a spectator in this battle. Three friends have been helping me to see another side.

My eyes began to be opened by my friend Kevin Butcher. Kevin is white pastor of a mulitcultural flock in a predominantly black Detroit neighborhood at Hope Community Church. He told me that Black Christians want their White brothers and sisters to listen to their hearts and not offer excuses or rationales. They simply want to be heard. So I decided to do just that by seeking to hear the hearts of two Black brothers in Christ.

I know Duke Barnett well. He is an amazingly talented educator, administrator and leader. He is a great husband, dad and friend. The other man I asked to share his heart is a pastor in Nashville, Tennessee. I became friend with Montagne McDonald through my books and blogs. I was impressed with his teaching and heart for his flock. These are men that love Jesus. They love their Black community and they also love the White community. I asked these two African-American brothers to share their frustration and feelings about how White Christians respond to them.

My assignment was simple. Ask questions. Shut up. Listen. Don’t get defensive. Remind myself to shut up again. Listen some more. That is a slightly edgier but accurate paraphrase of James 1:19.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. (NLT)

Perhaps that would be a good strategy for all of us when we are trying to understand another brother’s story. Here is what my brothers shared with me. I pray that you will open your hearts to hear them as well.

Montagne:

“I feel I am becoming depressed talking to my friends who are Caucasian who have automatically judged me because I try to explain where the anger in many black communities are coming from. I try to discuss how a group like Black Lives Matter is not monolithic. They are made up of individuals who are angry, scared, and/or fed up.”

Duke:

“It seems the word “empathy” would be most important in your circle of friends right now. They must see you from your perspective and not theirs in order for the conversations to take any form of positive movement. Once again, that’s a sign of the presence of White privilege. They are telling you by their responses and action that they don’t have to see it from your perspective but you are expected to see it from theirs.

Montagne:

The fear is from a real place. There was a time we wished for cameras to catch police in the act. Now we have them, but nothing has changed. No one is being punished. As a young man, I have had a gun to my head by a police officer just because I reached for my license too fast. He said he would blow my head off. I was 18. Can you imagine what that does to a young boy’s mind? I have had my car searched, was patted down simply because the officer thought a friend of mine who was riding with me mouthed “F-you.” He was actually trying to get the cops attention because we had just left a friend who was in a car accident two blocks away. I was nineteen then.

Duke:

In this world, there are people with good intentions and there are people with bad intentions. Black Lives Matter has both, All Lives Matter has both, Blue Lives Matter has both and I can go on and on. However, it’s important that we look past the symptoms of hurting people and focus on the cause. When some say that Black lives matter, they are saying this to bring value to the Black community. There is systematic racism in this country that affects Blacks, Asians, Indigenous people, and many other ethnicities. However, the public battle has always been Black and White. From schooling to jobs to neighborhoods to church, systematic racism is alive and well.

I spent my childhood in the poor areas of Dallas, so I understand how “some” law enforcement (Black and White) view/treat people (especially, Black males) in those poor areas. Fortunately for me, I was able to get out of the projects, have different opportunities, and hear a different message. Now, the racism is still evident, I just have the capacity to respond differently. Unfortunately, many of our Black brothers don’t have that option. So, they have lived their whole lives in survival mode, some working 2-3 jobs and some using crime as a tool.

So, when people combat Black Lives Matter with All Lives Matter or Blue Lives Matter, they’re in essence reducing their value…again and again and again.

Montagne:

When we talk about White privilege, it is not an indictment on all White people. It is just there is a social system that favors Europeans over other races. It does not mean I am blaming them or hate them. Also, I don’t believe in the whole “color blind” philosophy. Many people I know who live by that code, have a harder time identifying inequalities concerning race.

Being African American, I also feel as though I have to prove myself to Whites. To prove I am not a thug, or a deadbeat. To prove I am smart, or respectable. Even with that, when we see images on TV or in movies, either we are not prominent in the story, or we are depicted in stereotypical ways. I am finally learning I should not have, and will not keep trying to prove myself to others. I am smart because I love to learn, I am respectable because that is how I was raised. I cannot get caught up in the “race” race like that anymore. Color does not prove a person is predisposed to violence, ignorance, morality, or respectability.

I love my White brothers and sisters. I just want some who do not get it to, for a moment, understand how I feel. Empathy is so important. To be understood is a precious gift. That is the best way to love us. Attempt to understand. Thank you again. This means so much to me.

Dave:

Thank you my brothers in Christ. I love both of you as friends and as fellow followers of Jesus. I have been guilty of “defending” myself from my culture. Forgive me for trying to rationalize or justify that I did not contribute to your pain. I compare my previous responses to an apology followed by a “but” that explains the behavior. There is no “I am sorry but” in this situation. I am deeply sorry for the hurt the black community has suffered and continues to suffer far too often. Period.

Martin Luther King Jr. had some legitimate reasons to hate, but he chose not to. His words have not lost their power: “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

Another courageous African American, Booker T. Washington, made a similar choice. “I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.”

Followers of Jesus have the only hope for real change. I hope and pray that my White friends will ask the Holy Spirit to soften their hearts and not get defensive. Just hear the pain and the frustration of my brothers. Do not miss their heart. Their love for Jesus and their deep, deep hope for change. I share that hope. And we all share that hope in the One that can actually change the hearts of all races. The church must lead the way on racial issues.

Remember the words to the Galatian church…

There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.

In the body of Christ we are one. No Black or White. No rich or poor. No male or Female. Lord, give us the grace and love to be agents of change and to be one in Your love. God is giving us a window and opportunity for a revival of brotherhood flowing from the boundless supply of Grace. I don’t want to miss it. Please listen. Then pray. We can make a difference if we live out of the love of Jesus. My brother Duke uses a hashtag on all of his social media. It is so appropriate here. #onelove

I invite my brothers and sisters of color to join this conversation with your stories. I promise to listen.