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  • Perfect People

    One of my passions is trying to create excitement about the need for Christian community. Time after time after time I discover that people who seem like they are flying through life are really not. When people feel safe in a community of believers they reveal hurts and fears and doubts. All of this was prompted by a song by Natalie Grant on the morning stroll with dog friend Hannah. Her song “Perfect People” played on the iPod and I related to the words.

    Never let ’em see you when you’re breaking
    Never let ’em see you when you fall
    That’s how we live and that’s how we try
    Tell the world you’ve got it all together
    Never let them see what’s underneath
    Cover it up with a crooked smile
    But it only lasts for a little while

    I often quote my friend Bruce McNicol of Truefaced.com. Bruce says “there are no together people…just some people with whiter teeth”. His point is well-taken. Through hiddenness and acting you can present the “perfect” and “together” Christian. Much of the time we would be living a lie.

    Have you ever done this? You are angry, petty and bitter during the week or even on the way to church. As soon as you walk through the church door you are beaming like a homecoming queen during the parade. We can fool the congregation but we cannot fool the Creator.

    The fellowship of believers should be a place where honesty is encouraged. Where shortcomings ought to be accepted. Church should be the place where you can say without fear, “I am struggling, I hurt, I need help.” But for some reason the opposite happens far too often. Two people who are really in pain could have this conversation every week in church:

    “How are you doing?” (Insincere query… too busy to really care)
    “Great, how are you?” (Dishonest reply… perfunctory courtesy question)
    “Fantastic, great to see you. (Really dishonest reply… safe dismissal salutation)

    Am I advocating dumping our woes on everyone we meet? Of course not. I know that too many have been wounded by unsafe places. That breaks my heart. But there are rooms of grace that exist. Don’t give up. Please.

    My fear is that we have created a culture where we feel there is something wrong with us if we are hurting. If I am struggling I must be doing something wrong spiritually. Shouldn’t God meet this need? What is wrong with me? The fact that God created us with a desire to be in community tells me that part of His plan is for us to be helped by other members of the body of Christ. Natalie Grant tells the truth with this chorus.

    There’s no such thing as perfect people
    There’s no such thing as a perfect life
    So come as you are, broken and scared
    Lift up your heart and be amazed
    And be changed by a perfect God

    Amen. Perfecting comes only from a perfect God. I cannot do it. Being broken and scared is like spiritual soil prep for the seed of grace to grow.

    Yet for years I chose to stay hidden. I believed that if my walk with God was exposed I would be excommunicated from the faith. I was so dry that I feared any spark would set my anger and emotions aflame. Satan convinced me that I would be rejected if I dared to let other see the truth behind the person. Perhaps some would reject me. To be honest I have been wounded at times. But I want to be willing to take a chance to be real. I want to be authentic and see where that takes me. I can’t find that authenticity with a painted grin and phony reply. I chose and will choose the risk of community. But, to be honest, I did not take that risk again until I was tired and broken enough to finally trust God and others with me.

    What does it look like to allow God access to everything? The next stanza has a pretty good description.

    Suddenly it’s like a weight is lifted
    When you hear the words that you are loved
    He knows where you are and where you’ve been
    And you never have to go there again

    I think that is exactly what Jesus was taking about when He said his yoke was light and the burden was easy. We have somehow inferred that life would be easy or at least easier if we follow Him. That has not been my journey. I like the way The Message translates this familiar passage.

    “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  (Matthew 11:29-30, The Message)

    So let’s review.
    • You are forgiven.
    • You are loved.
    • You have unmerited favor because of Christ.
    • You are righteous because of Christ.
    • You have power to not “have” to sin.

    Trust me. Understanding those things make the yoke several hundred pounds lighter.

    Can we trust Jesus enough to drop the perfection ruse? Can we trust him enough to be authentic? Not needy and demanding. Just honest and real in community and, of course, with Him.

    Look up the “one another” verses in the Bible. Here is an example from Hebrews (10:24, NIV):

    And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

    Who lived and died to give new life
    To heal our imperfections
    So look up and see out let grace be enough

    Be changed by a perfect God.

    God does the changing. Let Him.

  • Not Alone

    (The weekly iPod Devotional from theFish.com)

    Part of the fun of writing these weekly thoughts is to try and find artists that are new to me. This was a great week of personal discovery when I downloaded a recent album from the band Red. The new CD is titled Until We Have Faces but the song that inspired today’s iPod Devotional is called “Not Alone”.

    The lyric begins with a haunting psalm-like lament.

    Slowly fading away
    You’re lost and so afraid
    Where is the hope In a world so cold?

    Looking for a distant light
    Someone who can save a life
    Living in fear that no one will hear your cries

    (Come and save me now)

    Then the tone changes and the song becomes an anthem of hope. Why? Because God has promised we are not alone.

    I am with you
    I will carry you through it all
    I won’t leave you
    I will catch you

    When you feel like letting go
    ‘Cause you’re not
    You’re not alone

    I have to be honest and admit I have been pretty mediocre really trusting that God would carry me through great trials. I believed it intellectually. I said the words. But I did not want to surrender control so that God could catch me, carry, and comfort me. Or I was afraid I would be judged if I confessed that I wasn’t spiritually feelin’ it when the storm hit.

    I was led to believe there was something wrong with me when I was hurting. If I am struggling I must be doing something wrong spiritually. Shouldn’t God meet this need? What is wrong with me? The answer is quite possible that there is nothing wrong with me. I may simply be in a place where I must trust Him and wait. But that is NOT what I want to hear. Do nothing? Just pray and trust and have faith? I want to DO something. But God’s Word says that if I trust Him and have faith I will please Him.

    And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. (Hebrews 11:6, NLT)

    I acknowledge that can be easier written than done. I can give you a promise that is a good place to start building that foundation of trust upon.

    “And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28, NLT)

    Not a hint of ambiguity there. Jesus does not say if you pray all the time or read the Bible every morning or go to church three times a week He will be with you. He does not say He may or may not be with you. He does not say you just might disgust Him enough that He may leave you. Jesus says “be SURE of this: I am WITH YOU”.

    I believe that Jesus aches to come along side me (and you) and help us deal with the junk in our lives. His agenda is for me to stop trying to a hero going it alone and trust Him for my sin and growth. And Jesus has promised to be with me each stumbling step of the way. When a dad is teaching his toddler to walk he is patient and encouraging. When the tyke wobbles and falls a loving father doesn’t start screaming at his child.

    “There you go again! You can’t walk three bleepin’ steps before you tumble over again. You are hopeless. You will never get this walking thing down. Why am I wasting my time?”

    Hardly. The Dad encourages and applauds the effort. He lifts the child back up and exhorts him to try again. He is beaming with each step and not at all angry when the child falls. That is how I view Jesus with my spiritual walk when I understand His grace. He is thrilled with each spiritual step and is encouraging and lifting me up without condemnation when I stumble. How quickly we forget Paul’s words to the Church at Rome.

    So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. (Romans 8, NLT)

    And I will be your hope
    When you feel like it’s over
    And I will pick you up
    When your whole world shatters
    When you’re finally in my arms
    Look up and see love as a face

    Can we trust Jesus enough to quit scuffling in self-effort? Can we trust Him enough to finally surrender and look into His face? Can we trust Him enough to be authentic knowing that in His grace there is no condemnation? A good step toward that kind of faith is to believe and really trust that we are not alone. He promised we are not.

  • Where Real Change Happens…

    (Latest article at theFish.com)

    Even occasional readers of my humble ramblings know that the start of my faith narrative was mired in moralism. Our church was, without question, the denomination of “no”. Starting from that faulty foundation led me to years of sadness, tiredness and bondage.

    I replayed my long and fragmented journey to grace and freedom as I listened to a song from Hillside United titled, “From the Inside Out”.

    One thousand times I’ve failed
    Still your mercy remains
    Should I stumble again
    I’m caught in your grace

    Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades

    I remembered day after day of agonizing self-loathing because I kept failing. I did not understand His mercy nor did I believe I could fall on His grace. I was taught that such an attitude showed a lack of obedience and a dependence on “cheap grace”. Somehow I missed the message of Jesus to the religious hypocrites as I was influenced by the preaching of shame.

    I was released from that doctrinal prison just a few years ago. Moralism is answering to the wrong source of authority. Legalists sometimes default to religious traditions rather than the Word of God.

    Legalism takes the sweet Gospel of Jesus Christ and mixes in some “churchified” version of the law. Church by-laws occupy equal footing with God’s Word. Righteousness is no longer about Christ but about right behavior as only they can define it. Legalism cherry picks verses that support behavioral control while conveniently ignoring dozens of verses about grace, forgiveness, kindness, love, gentleness and forbearance.

    Focusing on right behavior can make you moral and perhaps a good person. It does not make you righteous. Such focus is not much different (if at all) from an agnostic or sporadic church-goer who really tries hard to do right and moral things. Tim Keller wrote this provocative thought about legalism in his wonderful book The Reason for God.

    “The devil, if anything, prefers Pharisees—men and women who try to save themselves. They are more unhappy than either mature Christians or irreligious people, and they do a lot more spiritual damage.”

    I spent many long and frustrating years trying to do all the right things to be righteous. I got tired. I became discouraged. I reached the point of brokenness that allowed me turn over the keys to Christ. I reached the point where I no longer had to be right. I had reached the point where I didn’t want to wear a phony mask of holiness. I had reached the point where I was willing to trust God completely with everything about me. I had reached the point where I was ready for grace. And that is the day that I began to experience what Hillside United sings about in today’s song.

    My heart and my soul
    I give you control
    Consume me from the inside out

    Let justice and praise become my embrace
    To love you from the inside out

    And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise from the inside out

    That is where real change happens. From the inside out. Moralism can restrain sin but only the Holy Spirit gives you the power to not sin. Moralism will always fail. Either you will fail to live up to your standards or you will fail by damaging those you love.

    If you are tired enough, discouraged enough, wounded enough and ready to give up then I have a very odd statement to make.

    You are in a wonderful place.

    You are ready for grace. You are ready for change from the inside out. God is waiting for you to experience His grace. Legalism is a dead end street to misery. There is a better way to live. In freedom.

    Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace. (Romans 6, NLT)

  • Gotta Serve Somebody

    (The latest iPod Devotional from theFish.com)

    Bob Dylan wrote some powerful songs about his faith journey in the late 70’s. One song he composed popped up on the iPod recently. “Gotta Serve Somebody” simply says that no matter how independent, self-sufficient or in control we might try to be we still serve something or somebody.

    But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
    You’re gonna have to serve somebody
    Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
    But you’re gonna have to serve somebody

    That lyric struck a spiritual chord because it reminded me of some seriously head and heart messing stuff I have been reading from Tim Keller. Keller wrote a thought provoking definition of idolatry and how we can substitute even good things for God.

    “Sin is building your life and meaning on anything, even a very good thing, more than on God. Whatever we build our life on will drive us and enslave us. Sin is primarily idolatry.” (Tim Keller, “Talking About Idolatry in a Postmodern Age,” www.thegospelcoalition.org)

    That is disturbing for a guy who was taught from childhood that sin is a list that included but was not limited to movies, liquor, cigarettes, dancing, long hair and rock and roll.

    Tim Keller’s definition of sin takes all of the fun out of self-righteous comparison and judging. As I read Keller’s examples of idolatry I saw how these subtle traps have played out with my family, friends, and colleagues. Most convicting of all I saw how chasing good things more than God has caused pain and brokenness in my own life. Here are Keller’s thoughts from his book, “The Reason for God”.

    If you center your life and identity on your spouse or partner, you will be emotionally dependent, jealous, and controlling. The other person’s problems will be overwhelming to you.

    If you center your life and identity on your family and children, you will try to live your life through your children until they resent you or have no self of their own. At worst, you may abuse them when they displease you.

    If you center your life and identity on your work and career, you will be a driven workaholic and a boring, shallow person. At worst you will lose family and friends and, if your career goes poorly, develop deep depression.

    If you center your life and identity on money and possessions, you’ll be eaten up by worry or jealousy about money. You’ll be willing to do unethical things to maintain your lifestyle, which will eventually blow up your life.

    If you center your life and identity on pleasure, gratification, and comfort, you will find yourself getting addicted to something. You will become chained to the “escape strategies” by which you avoid the hardness of life.

    If you center your life and identity on relationships and approval, you will be constantly overly hurt by criticism and thus always losing friends. You will fear confronting others and therefore will be a useless friend.

    If you center your life and identity on a “noble cause,” you will divide the world into “good” and “bad” and demonize your opponents. Ironically, you will be controlled by your enemies. Without them, you have no purpose.

    If you center your life and identity on religion and morality, you will, if you are living up to your moral standards, be proud, self-righteous, and cruel. If you don’t live up to your moral standards, your guilt will be utterly devastating. (Tim Keller, The Reason for God (Dutton, 2008), pp. 275-276)

    Ouch. I mean seriously. Ouch.

    Paul wrote these words to the Church at Colossae on the topic of idolatry.

    “Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.” (Colossians 3, NLT)

    It is a hard truth to admit that we often worship the things of this world because they really can be good things. God in His loving grace does not desire for us to be deprived of good and pleasurable things. He simply wants us to place them in proper order. Later in the passage Paul gives one key to avoiding idolatry.

    Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and He lives in all of us. (Colossians 3:10-11, NLT…take a moment to read verses 12-17 to see what the results of this action might look like)

    Another key is to remember a campfire song from the Jesus movement that was, to borrow the approach of Law and Order, “ripped” from the Gospel of Matthew. (Matthew 6:33)

    Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
    and all these things shall be added unto you.
    Allelu, alleluia

    Everybody is going to serve somebody or something. Who (or what) are you centering your life on today?

  • Stuck in a Groundhog Day Faith?

    Seventeen years ago a funny and underappreciated  movie came on the scene. Groundhog Day told the story of a self-absorbed news reporter (redundancy alert?) that finds himself stuck in an endless repeat of the same day. Bill Murray is perfect in the role of reporter Phil Connors. Since I live in the odd world of broadcast television I can relate to the cynical personality of Murray’s character. Reporter Phil is less than thrilled that he has been assigned to cover Punxsutawney Phil’s annual peek outside to predict winter’s duration. Connor’s looks into the camera and cynically reports:

    “This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”


    I have directed some events that offer that kind of challenge. But what got me thinking about that movie again was the plotline where Phil Connors realizes he is doomed to live the same day over and over and over. The plot is summed up in this article in Wikipedia. For Connors, Groundhog Day begins each morning at 6:00 A.M., with his waking up to the same song, Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You Babe”, on his alarm clock radio, but with his (and only his) memories of the “previous” day intact, trapped in a seemingly endless “time loop” to repeat the same day in the same small town.

    Connor has this exchange in the film.

    Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
    Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

    And that brought to mind another famous Bill Murray quote…this time from Stripes.

    And then depression set in.

    So what is the point of these ramblings? Is it to impress you with my cerebral movie tastes? The point is that too many followers of Jesus are stuck in a Groundhog Day life of their own. They wake up every day and feel trapped in a repeating pattern of frustrating behavior. And then, depression sets in. Why is that?

    Einstein was once quoted as saying that “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” I am not quite willing to concede that I was insane. But the truth is that for years I did approach my spiritual life the same way everyday while somehow expecting different results.

    I would make a mistake (that is politically correct for sin) and I would convince myself that I would never do that again. I was grateful that the consequences were not worse. I was determined to stay far, far away from that sin. And then before I know it I had forgotten the lesson and I would awaken each morning to my own version of Groundhog Day. The Apostle Paul wrote about this very thing (not the giant rodent part, but the repeating behavior part) in his letter to the Romans.

    I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.   (Romans 7, The Message)

    Wow…can I relate to that. A bit later Paul writes…I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

    That is the real question. And there is a real answer offered by Paul.

    The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

    So what can you do to get out of this sin spiral?

    Nothing.

    Wait! Don’t let depression set in. This is good news. You and I can’t do it. I am incapable in my own efficacy to escape my spiritual Groundhog Day. Only Jesus can enable me to escape this endless loop of frustration. Further advice from Paul follows in Chapter 8 of his amazing letter to the Romans.

    But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him.

    Allow the truth of that verse to soak in.

    Want to get out of your Groundhog Day existence? Most readers of these humble ramblings realize they couldn’t deal with their sin separation from God on their own. We needed Jesus. So why do we think we can deal with our ongoing sin issues on our own? When the Father looks at me on my very worst day this is what He sees.

    Jesus.

    That is step one. I don’t have to clean up the sin to please God. He loves me already because of Jesus. Step 2. I am learning daily to recognize that the Spirit of God has taken up residence in my life. I am learning that I am the one who limits His power by restricting access and control to my thoughts and actions. I am learning that I don’t need to wake up to the frustrating effects of repeated self-effort. I can wake up trusting God, trusting that Jesus has my sin covered and trusting that the Spirit of God will allow me to resolve that sin. Trusting God and what His Word says to be true allows me to escape the Groundhog Day syndrome. Instead I have a new day full of possibilities to thank God for His amazing grace.

  • I Will Follow You

    (The latest iPod Devotional from theFish.com. Check it out every Monday)

    Sports fans might have heard TV analysts noting that a young athlete is struggling on the football field because the game is too fast and furious for them to react correctly. They say that when the game “slows down” that player will be much more effective. That means the athlete will learn what matters, what to react to, how not to get faked out, and how to respond properly in each situation.

    I think that is what is happening for me after all of these years. My once frenetic efforts to be a “good Christian” are slowing down. I think I am learning more about what matters, what to react to, how not to get faked out by Satan, and how to respond in grace.

    A great way to get some less than grace filled responses is to quote an R-rated movie. So here goes.

    “Nook” LaLoosh (from Bull Durham): “A good friend of mine used to say, “This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains. Think about that for a while.”

    Yeah! Think about that for awhile!

    In many ways Christianity is a very simple faith that we have made incredibly legalistic and difficult. To paraphrase the line above. “You love the Lord your God. You love your neighbor. Sometimes it is easy. sometimes it is hard. Sometimes life rains on you.”

    Why do I want to make it so maddeningly complex? Today’s song by Chris Tomlin has one of the secrets that helped the game “slow down” for me. The lyrics from “I Will Follow” help make this journey a little more simple.

    All your ways are good
    All your ways are sure
    I will trust in you alone
    Higher than my side
    High above my life
    I will trust in you alone

    Where you go, I’ll go
    Where you stay, I’ll stay
    When you move, I’ll move
    I will follow you
    Who you love, I’ll love
    How you serve I’ll serve
    If this life I lose, I will follow you
    I will follow you

    I will follow you

    Hmmmm. Maybe if I give up my need to figure everything out and sound smart I will actually be more effective. Maybe if I just follow Him I will learn to naturally do all the things I have been struggling so hard to do. There seems to be some precedent for this concept of simply following Jesus. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” Matthew 4:19, NIV

    • But Jesus told him, “Follow me“….   Matthew 8:22, NIV
    • “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him. Matthew 9:9, NIV
    • “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”  Matthew 16:24, NIV
    • “Then come, follow me.”   Matthew 19:21, NIV
    • Finding Philip, he said to him, “Follow me.”   John 1:43, NIV
    • “Whoever serves me must follow me;”   John 12:26, NIV
    • Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.”   John 21:22, NIV

    In the immortal words of Forrest Gump…”I’m not a smart man”. But like Forrest I have a keen sense of the obvious. I have surmised (brilliantly) that Jesus wants me to follow Him. The rest of it we will figure out together.

  • The Touch of a Loving Father

    I have a couple of my “bad Christian” friends that are betting on when the first grandpa blog would appear. Whoever had January 28th is the winner. This article is not about how beautiful Ethan Paul is or how excited Papa and Nana are to get to know him. I am, however, more than willing to write that blog. Today’s thoughts came from an isolated and tender moment that I didn’t even witness.

    Since Ethan was a bit early the doctors were cautious about fluid building up in his lungs. To be sure that all was well they scheduled an x-ray on his second day. New dad Matt went along with Ethan for the procedure. Unswaddling him made the little guy unhappy and scared. As he grew more anxious his dad did what every loving father does for their child. He touched him to let Ethan know it was okay.

    Our friend Jana happened to be at the nursery and captured the candid moment.

    IMG_3105

    I keep thinking about that moment. How Matt instinctively knew that Ethan needed that touch. How Ethan wrapped his little fingers around dad’s big finger. And that Ethan calmed down because he knew that his father was there. Happily, all was okay with his lungs.

    Today I prayed that more followers of Christ would seek the touch of the Heavenly Father when they are anxious, scared and uncertain. I love the story of Jesus healing the leper. Matthew (the Apostle) tells the story in the first Gospel book.

    Large crowds followed Jesus as he came down the mountainside. Suddenly, a man with leprosy approached him and knelt before him. “Lord,” the man said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.”

    Imagine this scene. Lepers had to wear torn clothes and shout “unclean” so that people would stay away from them. Jesus could have said the word and he would have been healed. That is how he healed the paralyzed man. Christ raised a young girl from the dead while she was miles away from Him. But look at how He chose to heal this man.

    Jesus reached out and touched him.

    Can you imagine the emotion that must have run through this man who had likely not been touched in years? Jesus answered the man’s plea.

    “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” And instantly the leprosy disappeared. (Matthew 8, NLT)

    We worship a Heavenly Father that is willing to touch and love us whenever we call out. No matter how needy. No matter how “unclean”. He is always willing to touch us and heal us spiritually. God never promised that our journey would be without struggle or pain. Physical healing does not always happen. But He did promise to always be with us. We are His precious children and Paul describes that tender heart of God the Father in this passage to the church in Rome.

    For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. (Romans 8:14–16, NLT)

    Abba is an endearing and intimate title for God the Father that could be translated, “Father, my  own dear Father.” It is the title a child uses to relate to a father when the child knows that he or she is dear to Him, the one He delights in. I remember my friend Ed Underwood sharing how he desperately sought the touch of the Father while battling a deadly cancer.

    “So, last night was so much more than a night of malaise, it was a night I spent on my Father’s lap, talking with Him about my fears, feelings, and hurts. It is the upside of suffering for the child of God–deepening intimacy with Abba Father.”

    What an amazing thought and insight. The upside of suffering is deepening intimacy with Abba Father. So precious Ethan reminded me again of my own fraility. And how when I am frightened I need to wrap my tiny fingers around His mighty hand.