Charisa Stories

Tag: grace

We Need Friends on the Journey

The advent of social media has accentuated the difference between friends and friendships. I have hundreds of Facebook “friends” befriended with a click. It is easy to have friends who know what you like, listen to, and read. But it is hard work and risky to cultivate friendships with people who know who you are when the facade comes down.

Real friends are a treasure that we push way too far down the priority list. We sure think a lot about pursuing other treasures on our list. Too many of us don’t prioritize the importance of building real friendships. Honestly, when you have a real crisis, would you rather have a promotion or a pal you could lean on? When heartaches come, would you prefer an award or an ally to walk with you?

In the grand scheme of life, you will have just a handful of real friends. Friends whom you can tell anything or say anything to and not be rejected. Friends who will drop everything when you need them.

Joni and I have many friends and that is a blessing. But the “real” friend roll call is shorter. Relationships like that take time and investment. I believe you have to go through a variety of experiences together to really get to that next level of friendship. You don’t really know a person until you go through adversity with him or her. That is not something you can plan or force. Joni’s cancer journey thinned our friend “herd” a bit as we learned who was there when we were at our worst. But God brought others into our lives who were willing to be real and present.

There is something powerfully healing and affirming about having someone in your life with whom you can drop the pretense. Many of us harbor the secret fear that if our friends found out everything that was true about us they would drop us in horrified indignation and run for the hills. But what if that is one more lie from the Deceiver? What if we could develop relationships of trust and grace where exactly the opposite occurred? What if the revelation of the truth about us caused our friends to love us more? What if we trusted a few with who we really are? I know some of you might be checking out right now because you have been deeply hurt by someone you trusted who did not deserve that trust. I have been there.

God designed this journey of life to be lived in community. It’s the description of the early church.

They joined with the other believers and devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, sharing in the Lord’s Supper and in prayer. A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together constantly and shared everything they had. They sold their possessions and shared the proceeds with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity—all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved.

Acts 2:42-47

We were created to be in a community with other believers. Because of our unity in Christ, we are to embrace those different from ourselves. That’s what makes a church dynamic to a person who experiences grace and acceptance for the first time. And that is why church can be devastating when the congregation becomes selective, judgmental, and legalistic. Anne Lamott shares a thought-provoking observation: “You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”

That is both an ouch and an amen statement. When differences result in judgment, what we thought was a safe place instead becomes the biggest betrayal of all. When we become “experienced” Christians, something seems to happen. We can lose touch with our former brokenness and sinfulness and desperate need to be forgiven and accepted. That is when the pretense begins that our holiness is based on performance instead of complete dependence on Christ.

I know that finding and living in real community in our culture isn’t easy. I understand how easy it is to want to throw in the towel. The truth is that we need community, even if we’ve been hurt by bad relationships in the past. If you aren’t in a community of grace, it may be time to ask God to lead you to such a place. I know that can be daunting. It took me a long time to find such a place. It took me a longer time to realize how God was redeeming every hurt, every slight, and every trial. Eventually, I was able to see how He’d been preparing me, especially through those hard times, to embrace and welcome grace in a whole new way. That is best experienced in a community of fellow Jesus followers. I know it isn’t easy but it is definitely worth the effort.

This is an excerpt from Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace. Looking for an unique Christmas gift? How about an autographed copy of Stay, Grunt the Runt, Waking Up Slowly, or Between the White Lines. All books ordered before December 15th at my online store will be autographed. Click here to order.

November 29, 2021
Feeling Thankful in the Cultural Chaos

I encourage myself and you to turn off the news this week and concentrate on what we have to be thankful for this holiday. I think you might be surprised at how many good things you take for granted everyday. I love the concept of Thanksgiving. The idea that we collectively take a day to concentrate on the abundant blessings we have in this country.

Thanksgiving Song by Mary Chapin Carpenter captures the intimacy of this wonderful holiday.

Grateful for each hand we hold
Gathered round this table.
From far and near we travel home,
Blessed that we are able.

After the pandemic Thanksgiving last year just the simple ability to gather around a table holding hands is a huge blessing. I have so much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for another year with my wonderful wife Joni. I am grateful for three wonderful sons, now three amazing daughter-in-laws, and six heart stealing grandchildren. I am blessed that our family is able to be together this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for good friends.

Grateful for this sheltered place
With light in every window,
Saying “welcome, welcome, share this feast
Come in away from sorrow.”

Every year brings sorrow. Friends and family have suffered illness this year. Some have gone through deep trials. Some have passed away. Sorrow is a part of this journey. But there is something healing about counting blessings and feeling gratitude. Taking that time provides a sheltered place from sorrow. For me the light in the window of my soul is my trust in a God that is faithful, loving and good in both blessings and in sorrow.

Grateful for what’s understood,
And all that is forgiven;

Jesus is the light that said welcome when I felt anything but welcome. He invited me to the feast that I did not deserve to attend because of His grace. Jesus said I was forgiven. How can I be anything but grateful if I understand the magnitude of that undeserved love?

We try so hard to be good,
To lead a life worth living.

I might add a little personal clarification to Carpenter’s lyric. I understand the desire to live a life of significance. I get trying to be good. But my experience with the grace of the Lord Jesus has taught me that it is not trying so hard to lead a life worth living that brings peace and joy. It is following Jesus each day. It is allowing God to love me and asking Him to help me give away that love to others. It is trusting God to provide opportunities to serve. It is believing that God is faithful even through the valley. It is trusting that what God says about me is true. That I have been changed and I have a new identity in Christ. I am deeply loved and cherished by God. I am declared righteous because of Jesus and that righteousness has nothing to do with how hard I work to be “good”. It is because of Christ. I am so grateful for grace. So very grateful.

Paul’s words to the Colossian Church make a fitting devotional thought for this holiday.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:12-17, NLT)

I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving.

November 21, 2021
What Triggered Jesus?

I am fascinated and more than a little convicted when I look at the behaviors that caused Jesus to react with anger or harsh words. Let’s first look at a few examples that prompted grace and not condemnation.

A woman caught in adultery is dragged before Jesus with the demand that he condone the law that she should be killed for her sin. His reaction? Jesus knelt down, wrote in the sand, and challenged the persons without any sin to hurl the first rock.

When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” (John 8, NLT)

Jesus had compassion on a person who was deeply shamed and in need of forgiveness for sin. He did not excuse her transgression. He commanded her to go and change her behavior but He did not condemn or lecture.

Story after story was told of people chasing after Jesus to hear His teaching and seek His healing in word and touch. One example of an egregious attempt to get His attention is told in Luke 5. Jesus was teaching to a packed house when a bizarre interruption occurred.

Some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a sleeping mat. They tried to take him inside to Jesus, but they couldn’t reach him because of the crowd. So they went up to the roof and took off some tiles. Then they lowered the sick man on his mat down into the crowd, right in front of Jesus.

I imagine my response would be something along these lines. “What in the Sam Hill are you doing? Can’t you wait until we take a break?” Jesus saw that they were not selfishly trying to jump the line. He saw their hearts.

Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the man, “Young man, your sins are forgiven.”

He commanded the man to pick up his mat and go. Much to the amazement of the witnesses the paralyzed man did exactly that.

Time after time Jesus was harangued to heal someone when He was exhausted. He never responded in frustration.
He dined with people who clearly violated His moral teachings. He recruited a tax collector who had betrayed and financially oppressed his own people. He allowed a woman of questionable reputation to anoint His feet with perfume. He violated every cultural standard by talking to and sharing the hope of salvation with a woman who had lived with multiple men. These acts brought condemnation from the religious leaders who saw religion as performance based keeping of rules.

Jesus did not recoil from sin and demand groveling repentance before the person was worthy to win forgiveness. He looked on the heart of the person in sin and responded with healing grace.

But one sin did trigger Jesus on a consistent basis and I need to take note and examine my own heart. The most harsh words from Jesus were usually directed at religious hypocrites. We have no shortage of hypocrisy in our churches and in our culture today.

The word hypocrite comes from the Greek word hyprokrites, meaning one who plays a part, an actor. Probably no word is more destructively used in describing Christians than hypocrite. André Gide once defined a true hypocrite as the “one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity.”

My first instinct when a Christian leader engages in inappropriate behavior is to pull out my hypocrite hammer to smite them. My first reaction should be to ask God to shine a light in my own dark places to see if a similar lack of discernment lives in my heart. The truth is that response is not a given.

One of Christ’s severest rebukes concerned the hypocrisy of the Pharisees (Matthew 6). These religious leaders liked to be seen and heard when praying, recognized when giving, and pitied when fasting. Had the Jerusalem Broadcasting Network been on the air, you just know that some slick-haired Pharisees would have hosted the prime-time programs.

Today the church condemns those who live immoral lives while we churchgoers too often engage in gossip and selfishness and bigotry. The unchurched stand by in amazed, bemused, cynical, or angry observance of our hypocrisy. And they lose respect for our message.

Ironically the people most uncomfortable around Jesus were the religious, the churchgoers as it were.

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too.

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness. (All texts from NLT)

Is it any wonder that Jesus was so reviled by the religious establishment? Jesus came to fulfill the law and provide a way for me (and you) to be reconciled to God. Jesus provides the opportunity for a relationship with God through faith and grace. The Pharisees, like many of the religious leaders that our culture criticizes, controlled by demanding legalistic works and by fear of punishment.

So why don’t the followers of Jesus communicate the grace of God more effectively? That is too often the heartbreaking shortcoming of the church.

Tim Keller writes brilliantly about how we confuse righteousness with moralism.

“Sin and evil are self-centeredness and pride that lead to oppression against others, but there are two forms of this. One form is being very bad and breaking all the rules, and the other form is being very good and keeping all the rules and becoming self-righteous.”

My righteous can only be because of Christ. I am sobered that Jesus was consistently triggered by hypocrisy. If I am going to be a light to others I need to focus on my heart and allow the Holy Spirit to illuminate my areas of hypocrisy. I don’t want to just look good on the outside. I want my heart to be clean by the redeeming power of God’s gift of redemptive grace.

November 15, 2021
How Would Jesus Confront the Cancel Mob?

Twitter makes cowards courageous and the anonymity of cyberspace can make the mean spirited downright evil. I have watched with sadness as Twitter tyrants have destroyed or severely damaged people and institutions. Sometimes the venom is directed at those who simply have a sincere difference of opinion on moral issues. And no event seems to generate more glee than a Christian leader or institution failing.

Without fail the hypocrite word is used with smug satisfaction.

And it is true. Let me make this personal since I can only speak honestly for me. I am a hypocrite. I do not consistently live up to the teachings of Jesus. I fail. I sin. That is why I need a Savior and not a self-help course. I am confident not in my holiness but in the holiness of Jesus. I remember hearing a pastor say that “we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. But that doesn’t keep us from comparing distances.”

That is exactly what I used to do and still do when I forget why Jesus found it necessary to die for me! I condemned without knowing anything about that person’s wounds or struggles. I would self-righteously note that at least I haven’t said something that offensive or done that bad thing! I am not as bad as them!

So what?

God’s Word says I am condemned when I judge, idolize, lie and covet without the redeeming grace of Jesus. It doesn’t matter whether it is less offensive than another person’s actions. Whether I fall a millimeter short or miles short is meaningless. I have fallen short. I am a desperate sinner in need of a Savior. Today I asked for the Holy Spirit to examine my heart. I am not responsible for the comments of others. I am accountable for my comments and thoughts before the One who went to the Cross to win my forgiveness.

There is a familiar passage from the Gospel of John about a woman caught in sin. I wondered how Jesus might respond to today’s condemning cyber-mobs. Here is a modern social media version of this well known story.

A crowd soon gathered, and He (Jesus) sat down and taught them. As He was speaking, the teachers of wokeness brought a woman who had been caught in the act of hateful speech. They put her in front of the crowd.
“Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the very act of intolerant speech. We say she should be fired, disgraced, and shunned. What do you say?”
They were trying to trap Him into saying something they could use against Him, but Jesus stooped down and looked at the device in His hand. They kept demanding an answer, so He typed a message that appeared on every device in the crowd simultaneously. They read the message on their screen. “All right, but let the one who has never unfairly judged another and who has never said an ugly untruth about another send the first Tweet!” Then he looked down and typed something else.
When the accusers read this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
“No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Remember that every person is precious in My sight and that I loved them enough to endure the Cross. Go and sin no more.”

Forgive me for taking liberties with such an amazing text. But I think it brings it home for us that I (and you) are often just like that mob who dragged the woman to Jesus.

Lord Jesus,

Forgive me for my judgment of others. Forgive me for my ugly thoughts. Forgive me for my sin of not defending others who are overlooked and oppressed. Forgive me for my mean comments about those you love dearly. And thank you for still loving me in spite of the ugly reality of my own sin. I fall on your grace today. Please remind me to use these gifts of communication only to edify, encourage and inspire and to remember Paul’s words to the Colossians.

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. (Colossians 3:13-14, NLT)

Thank you for loving me. Help me to love others in the power of Your Amazing Grace.

Amen

Waking Up Slowly is my personal journey to become more connected to God, others and myself. I would love for you to join me on this journey.

November 1, 2021
Can We Change the Culture?

Watching the news on television is devastatingly depressing. I prefer to spend my leisure moments reading, listening to music, and walking with canine friend Maggie. On today’s walk I pondered whether this culture can be redeemed while Maggie sniffed and checked p-mail.

So many smart, and I pray, well intentioned people think our society can be changed through programs and education. Before you hit cancel I am open to all helpful options. While it is possible we have a head problem Jesus said the real problem comes from the heart.

“But the words you speak come from the heart—that’s what defiles you. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.”
(Matthew 15:18-19, NLT)

Change happens from the inside out. I wrote about the culture war in my book “When Bad Christians Happen to Good People”. Here is an excerpt from that discussion.

If I were to ask the average Christian what victory in the culture war would look like today, I would probably get answers along these lines: Abortion would be outlawed. Gender issues would go away. The Ten Commandments would hang in every courthouse, and kids would pray in school.

But would accomplishing these objectives constitute victory? Many Christians think it is our mission to rid the world of sin. That is not going to happen until Jesus returns to reign. We have tried through politics and failed miserably. We have tried boycotts. We tried advertising and media with very mixed results. We have targeted immorality but have not helped those hurt by or entrapped in it. We fight abortion. We denounce same sex relationships. We battle Hollywood and television and the evil media. We rail against pornography.

As a young man who grew up in the ’50s and ’60s, I can confirm that all of the aforementioned cultural indicators now sought by many Christians were once in place: There was no legalized abortion or significant gay political presence. We prayed at school functions and watched Ozzie and Harriet on television instead of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Pornography was not easy to obtain. Yet the sexual revolution, rampant drug use, violent political protest, and explosive racial tension emerged from that very era. Hmmm.

We Christians have missed our calling. The church needs to understand that even if we devoured every single moral issue on our evangelical plates, the people of this world would still be seeking meaning and purpose in their lives. All of the cultural issues I’ve mentioned so far are merely symptoms of a bigger problem: the internal condition of people. Political and legal processes can only restrain sin. Only the changing of individuals can really affect a society as a whole. And that is where we have missed the boat. We can attempt legislation of morals until the end of time. But change comes from the inside (heart) out…rarely from the outside (rules) in. We cannot herd sin neatly into our theological corral. Sin cannot be managed by moralism. Unfortunately Christians are more identified by what we oppose than Who we follow.

How did the early church have such a profound impact with no money, power or influence? By giving their heart and soul to God. They gave Him control and out of that surrender they gave and served selflessly. They loved the unlovable. Cared for those that no one else would care for. Risked their lives to comfort those dying of infectious disease and sacrificed their own possessions for orphans and widows. Their lives were so powerful that the culture could not help but notice. Even the pagan writers of the day marveled at the sacrifice of these “Christians”. The followers of Christ who changed the world did not drive fancy cars and have perfect hair. They sold out in complete trust and allowed God to change them from the inside out. They served sacrificially.

Jesus talked about the danger of a religion that tries to work from the outside in.

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too.” (Matthew 23, NLT)

That is my prayer for today. I want to live from the inside out. I have been changed but I want to live out of that truth. Don’t think that I am against having heartfelt convictions about cultural issues. I am not. But I am against communicating those concerns to a hurting world apart from grace and the love of Christ. God’s plan will be accomplished. In the meantime we need to be loving others selflessly.

That is the cry of my heart today.

October 25, 2021
When Reality Comes Around…

Please forgive me for driving slowly down memory lane as I approach my 50th high school reunion this month. Soon after graduation I became a disc jockey at 1000 watt “powerhouse” WCHI in Chillicothe, Ohio. This was back in the days of turntables and actual vinyl records. I got to pick my own playlist that was mainly Top-40 pop. Unfortunately my playlist was often influenced by my emotional state. I didn’t realize I was doing that until a friend pointed out that I had thoroughly depressed them with my melancholy melodies that day. I would play “How Can You Mend A Broken Heart” from the Bee Gees followed by “She’s Gone” by Hall and Oates followed by the Carpenters singing “Goodbye to Love”. Not sure the sponsors (except maybe antidepressant manufacturers and counseling centers) wanted me to be such a musical downer.

Another one of my go to songs to bring the listeners down was a song by Irish singer Gilbert O’Sullivan. Alone Again Naturally reached the top of the charts for several weeks and the tune popped up on satellite radio recenty. He sings about how life is good and full of promise and then everything changes. That would be called life.

But as if to knock me down
Reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces

Leaving me to doubt
Talk about God in His mercy
Who if He really does exist
Why did He desert me?

In my hour of need
I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally

Those lyrics reflects the struggle of many former believers and struggling believers around us. Several people who are dear to me are going through deep valleys of heartache right now. They sometimes feel deserted and may wonder if God is there. This walk of faith was designed to be lived out in community. I think that is why so many struggle so mightily because we (as a body of believers) lean toward programs more easily than toward authentic community. Community is messy and hard and painful and incredibly fulfilling. My friend John Lynch describes that place of healing as the Room of Grace and I have yet to find a better descriptor of a place where God’s love is demonstrated to wounded sojourners. In the Room of Grace your problems, weirdness, neediness, and weakness does not result in judgment but in acceptance. In that room you can trust God and others with the truth about you and not be pushed away. Fellow inhabitants of the room run toward you when you hurt and not away. That place exists but there are not nearly enough rooms of grace. And if more such rooms were constructed the body of Christ would be a much healthier organism.

It seems to me that there are more hearts
Broken in the world that can’t be mended
Left unattended
What do we do? What do we do?

What do we do? I had to acknowledge my own weakness and need for others. I had to lean fully on my dependence on Christ to live this journey out. No heroic self-effort on my part makes me a better Christian. It is all because of Christ. That flies in the face of the American values of being self-made and independent. As a Christian I must surrender self and be dependent to be used by God. I would suggest that we drop the pretense of “victory” over sin and the lie that a particular flavor of faith will result in prosperity, health and green lights during every road trip. That is not the Gospel. I would suggest that we get real about our struggles and let others know that their struggle is also ours. I would suggest that you pray for friends and family but also listen to the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit as to how you can serve them. When a loved one comes to mind send them a note, call them, drop a card and take the time see how they are doing. Too many in the church feel unattended because we, His arms to the flock, are not reaching out. Walking with those who are struggling is draining. It can be ugly. There is no guarantee of success. But can I encourage you with this lesson learned? There is nothing more exciting that realizing that God has somehow divinely used your stumbling efforts in the life of one of His children. Nothing will make you worship more than seeing how God uses a humble and trusting heart far more effectively than a slick and convincing tongue.

Paul wrote these words to the Church at Philippi.

Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. (Philippians 2, NLT)

I see a grace revival stirring and we need it desperately. Because in a room of grace the broken hearts will not be left unattended. Pray for more rooms of His grace.

October 4, 2021
Truths I Wish I’d Known in High School

In just a couple of weeks I will be traveling to my hometown of Chillicothe, Ohio to celebrate my 50th High School Reunion. Wow! That is a lot of mileage on the life odometer and you can’t roll it back. A few years ago my great-niece asked my advice about navigating the emotional ups and downs of the high school years. Here is what I told her.

1.    I wish I had known that my high school years did not define me for life

My teen years were a mixed bag of memorable highs and incredible lows. Now I realize that I am grateful for what I once considered some of the difficult moments of my life. In many of those spiritual valleys you could not have begun to convince me that God was molding me or that those experiences could ever be of value.
Had I been the coolest guy or the best athlete I most likely would not have developed a sensitive spirit to others. With the benefit of hindsight I can promise you that I am grateful for every refining difficulty and problem. High school did not define who I would become and it does not define you either.
2.     I wish I had known that every person is created in God’s image…and He loves them just as much as He loves me
Sparky Anderson, a former Cincinnati Reds manager, once said that “you can never go wrong being classy.” And you can never go wrong being kind to everyone. Sometimes you will be tempted to ridicule or tease those who are less attractive, intelligent, gifted, or cool. Don’t do it. High school is the start of a very long journey. Some people seem to be leading the life race coming out of high school turn but there is a long way to go. The real winners know that life is a marathon and that God has a plan for that long race. Be kind to everyone. Jesus loves them. And so should you.
3.    I wish I had known in high school that I needed to take responsibility for my own actions
Learn now to say these three sentences.
I was wrong.
I am sorry.
Forgive me.
And keep your “but” out of those statements. Don’t say “I was wrong ‘but’ I didn’t think it would hurt you” or “I am sorry ‘but’ I was having a bad day.” Those are not real apologies. Take responsibility. Live with integrity. That will make you unique in this culture!
4. I wish I had really believed that God had a plan for my life
Every person has a God-designed destiny whether they believe it or not. Henri Nouwen wrote about living with that frame of mind.

We seldom realize fully that we are sent to fulfill God-given tasks. . . . We act as if we were simply dropped down in creation and have to decide how to entertain ourselves until we die. But we were sent into the world by God, just as Jesus was. Once we start living our lives with that conviction, we will soon know what we were sent to do.
Living out of who you are is liberating. The apostle Paul had some thoughts about such a life when he wrote to the church at Ephesus.

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:8-10, NLT)

Think about that! You were rescued from the death of sin by grace. It was a gift that could not be earned. And you are a new creation, indeed a masterpiece for whom good things were planned from the beginning of time. How can followers of Jesus possibly have self-image issues? Only when we believe the lies.
5.  I wish I had known that the most important decision I will ever make is who or what I worship
Everyone one worships something or someone. It can be money or power or fame or popularity or another person. We have a deep yearning to find our purpose and significance. If you don’t find that identity and significance in Christ you will tend to fill it with wrong things. Often those things are not inherently bad. But they can become bad things when they become the focus instead of Jesus. We used to sing a camp song with these lyrics..
Seek ye first the kingdom of God
And His righteousness
And all these things shall be added unto you
There is nothing wrong with these “things” when you seek the kingdom of God first.
6)  I wish I had known that God’s grace is the key to freedom
In high school I learned quite clearly that my performance was the key to my acceptance. I transferred that belief to my relationship with God. That was a spiritual stumbling block until I learned the remarkable truth of God’s grace. I finally learned that it was Jesus’ performance for me that makes me accepted by God and not my good behavior for Him.

Grace allows me to quit trying to be righteous and actually begin to be righteous as I focus on the One who gave me the gift of grace. Grace allows me to deal with sin instead of trying to manage and rationalize it. Grace is real and powerful. It is not weak or cheap. If you think grace is cheap, go to the foot of the Cross, look up, and see what grace price was paid for every person on earth. Grace should never be my cover for sin. Instead grace is my only hope to deal with it. Grace makes me tremble when I think of an almighty and powerful God who loved someone unlovable like me. Why would He give such a gift to an unworthy child? And how could I be comfortable taking advantage of that amazing grace? I cannot. I pray that I will not. Grace is compelling. I want it to be compelling in my life as well. Real grace works. Love grace with abandon.

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.
(Ephesians 2:8, NLT)
I know that most of us have to learn the lessons of life the hard way. I am still learning after all of these years how to follow Jesus more consistently. He is so incredibly patient and loving as I stumble along. Add that to the list of things I wish I had known and believed.
An excerpt from this blog came from Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace. Click here for more info.

September 26, 2021