Charisa Stories

Tag: grace

  • Why Is It So Hard To Unwrap The Gift Of Grace?

    Why Is It So Hard To Unwrap The Gift Of Grace?

    Every follower of Jesus is offered the gifts of grace without any strings (or ribbons) attached. All of us have full access to these gifts. Paul writes that we are brought into right relationship with God entirely as a gift of His radical and amazing love.

    When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he made us right in his sight and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life. Titus 3:5-7, NLT

    Grace is the best deal ever offered and yet we often resist accepting the gift of our Lord. We can’t believe it is true. We fear it can’t be possible that we can be loved, accepted, and adopted even when we know our behavior doesn’t deserve such love.

    But that is the miracle of grace.

    A recent Christmas song gives a humorous clue to the mindset that helps make it so hard to open the gift of Grace.

    The song “I’m Gettin’ Nuttin’ for Christmas” sums up the lie that Satan sells to every seeker of Jesus that your rewards are tied directly to behavior.

    I’m gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas
    Mommy and daddy are mad
    I’m getting nuttin’ for Christmas
    ‘Cause I ain’t been nuttin’ but bad

    That seems about right to our performance based mindset. I have not done what I should have. God has to be disappointed and maybe even a little ticked off at me so I don’t deserve this grace. I will buck up and try harder and THEN I will earn God’s love. What a sad misunderstanding of how God wants to relate to His children.

    The Christian life is a life of grace from beginning to end and it is all based on what Jesus has done for us and not on anything we have done for Him. We enter it this journey with Jesus by grace, live it by grace, and enter God’s eternal presence by grace.

    We learn as children that we get good things and receive love when we are good and do good things. Santa is pleased (and we later substitute God) when we obey. So we learn early that we had better be good. Or least fool everyone around us to think that we are being good.

    I remember (vaguely) the tension of the Santa Claus years. I knew I hadn’t really changed much. I tried to modify my behavior for a week or two leading up to Christmas but I knew I had failed to really be good. I learned a couple of things early. I learned how hard it is to change behavior by sheer willpower and I believed that I could fool Santa by living a lie.

    Isn’t that too often how we view God? We need to behave better. I don’t deserve forgiveness. I know my heart. Just like Santa we think that Jesus is making a list and He is checking it not once or twice but every moment of every day. God knows if you’ve been bad or good so if you want to be blessed and loved you had better be good or you will get nuttin’. .

    Satan sells the lie so convincingly. And we buy it for months and years and even decades. I did.

    But God and Santa are very different in their approach. God does not keep a list. He is not impressed by our hernia inducing straining to control sin.

    God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.  Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (Ephesians 2:8-9, NLT)

    Jesus offers us so many gifts. But the one we seem to have the hardest time unwrapping is this gift of grace. The stunning radicality of grace is that what seems to be too good to be true is more true than we can imagine. This unconditional love from God is unrelated to the emotions, expectations and desires that taint our human love. I am choosing to believe that truth this Christmas. I am going to allow God to love me and not attempt to earn that love. I am not going to remind myself why I am not worthy. I am going to open my arms and my heart to His love. My feelings ebb and flow. God’s feelings for me are a consistent fountain of grace so I am going to jump in the fountain today and splash around.

    Don’t buy into the bad theology that God’s gifts are performance based. Receiving this gift is based simply on coming to Him in humble need. Go straight to the gift of grace that Jesus left under the Cross. Open it. And clothe yourself in His salvation, acceptance and love. It may be the best gift you have ever given yourself. Unwrap it without guilt this Christmas. It was left there just for you.

  • Can We All Move to Mr Roger’s Neighborhood?

    Can We All Move to Mr Roger’s Neighborhood?

    The day after a wonderful Thanksgiving Eve family gathering we checked out the new movie about the iconic children’s star Fred Rogers. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood is based on the real life relationship between Rogers and Esquire magazine writer Tom Junod.

    In the movie the cynical journalist has been renamed Lloyd Vogel. Known for his unflinching exposes of people and events, Vogel chafes when receiving an assignment to do a “puff-piece” on television’s Mr. Rogers. Vogel approaches this story determined to find out if this gentle man is a fake. His skepticism prompts one of the best exchanges in the movie with his long suffering wife.

    Lloyd Vogel: I’m profiling Mr. Rogers.
    Andrea Vogel: Lloyd, please don’t ruin my childhood.

    I will not offer any spoilers. I will say the movie was not what I expected. It was much, much more.

    I have a confession to make and an apology to offer. I was “too cool” for Mr. Rogers. I mocked his sweater, slippers, and unique delivery. As a fellow Christian I am sorry I did not see what the one time aspiring Presbyterian minister was creating in his special neighborhood.

    Fred Rogers took the truths of grace and quietly created a place of acceptance and safety.

    His principles are straight out of the Gospel. And like the Jesus he studied in seminary Rogers also chose to focus his patient words toward children and those who could be tough to love.

    Fred Roger’s offered this wisdom to Vogel. “I think the best thing we can do is to let people know that each one of them is precious.” That is the overriding theme of the Gospel. That Jesus was willing to give up His life for every person because they are precious.

    There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13, NLT

    In this neighborhood Fred Roger’s addressed the difficult topic of forgiveness. “Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love. Like all of life’s important coping skills, the ability to forgive and the capacity to let go of resentments most likely take root very early in our lives.”

    It is hard to imagine what a cultural bombshell this teaching was from Jesus. “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”

    And Jesus told the mind boggling parable of the Prodigal Son who did every single thing wrong and slithered home to find his father running to embrace and welcome him back to the family. Why? Because he was precious in his father’s eyes.

    Roger’s smile radiated as he repeated this line over and over. “I like you just the way you are.” You didn’t have to try and be someone different to be in his neighborhood. And you don’t have to do anything special to be welcomed in the into the family of Jesus. Simply bring your need and trust. Just the way you are.

    Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29, NLT

    Fred Rogers never shied away from tough topics like divorce, death, and pain. “There is no normal life that is free of pain. It’s the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth.”

    Contrary to the heretical prosperity teaching of some, Jesus never once said this journey would be without pain. He did give a priceless promise that gives me hope.

    33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33, NLT

    None of us gets out of this life unscathed. Followers of Jesus have the hope that those trials will be redeemed as we grow more like Him. Perhaps one of the greatest truths of grace is summed up by Rogers

    “Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.”

    That is what grace does in the journey of a believer. Because of Jesus we are a new creation, loved exactly as we are on our best or worst days, forgiven and loved as His precious child.

    Jesus also had something to say about neighbors.

    “…an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

    37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’[e] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

    I can’t believe I didn’t recognize the principles of grace that Fred Rogers instilled through characters and stories into his gentle neighborhood. As I left the movie I voiced a minor complaint to Joni.

    “That was really powerful but I wish they would have made a bigger deal out of his faith.”

    Her reply was spot on. “He didn’t make a big deal out of his faith. He just lived it.”

    And maybe that is the biggest message Fred Rogers left with his fellow believers in Christ. Maybe we should quit worrying about how others view our faith or if we are getting a cultural fair shake. Maybe we just need to live it.




  • Could the Local Church Learn from Toby Keith’s Bar?

    Could the Local Church Learn from Toby Keith’s Bar?

    I write a lot about the importance of Christian community. I too often hear from wounded churchgoers that have not found a room of grace where there is freedom to be honest. At the risk of riling the ever present spiritual hall monitors I want to suggest a reason so many people leave the institutional church in frustration and pain. My thoughts were triggered by a song titled  “I Love This Bar” by Toby Keith. If you will hang with me to the end before launching the email barrage I think you will at least see my point. I understand that bars can be a dark place to anesthetize pain. But there is another dynamic of these gathering spots that we can learn from. In my oddly constructed brain I listened to this song and dreamed of what a community of seekers and followers of Jesus should look like.

    We got winners, we got losers
    Chain smokers and boozers
    And we got yuppies, we got bikers
    We got thirsty hitchhikers
    And the girls next door dress up like movie stars

    Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar.

    Toby Keith loves that bar because any type of person can show up and be welcomed without judgement. Philip Yancey had this provocative observation in his book “What’s So Amazing about Grace”.

    “Having spent time around “sinners” and also around purported saints, I have a hunch why Jesus spent so much time with the former group: I think he preferred their company. Because the sinners were honest about themselves and had no pretense, Jesus could deal with them. In contrast, the saints put on airs, judged him, and sought to catch him in a moral trap. In the end it was the saints, not the sinners, who arrested Jesus.”

    The early church was a mix of all types of people. The reason the faith spread against all odds is found in this description in Acts.

    And all the believers met together constantly and shared everything they had. They sold their possessions and shared the proceeds with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity– all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved.  (Acts 2 , NLT)

    I suspect that body of believers resembled the motley crew that Keith outlines in his lyrics. We were created to be in this community. A safe place that accepts and embraces those different from us because of our bond in Christ. That is what makes church dynamic to a person who experiences grace and acceptance for the first time. And that is why church can be devastating when the congregation becomes selective, judgemental and legalistic.

    A lot of churches have grace in their name. I am praying for thousands of communities that have grace in their DNA. A safe place where everyone and I mean everyone feels welcomed and loved. In this sacred place we would pledge not to gossip because we would realize that it is only by the grace of God that we are not the current targets. A community of grace that would make it a practice to reach out, touch, and care for one another sacrificially because we know that we all fall down in life and in our Christian journey. In this place we would have executives holding hands in prayer with laborers and not thinking twice about it. Blacks and whites and Hispanics and others would break bread together because we are all sinners in the eyes of a color-indifferent God and all deeply needed in the body of Christ.

    This community of grace would give freely out of profound gratitude to a God who somehow saw fit to give us an undeserved chance. All of us would practice the prodigal son ministry, running to welcome those returning from mistakes and bad decisions. We would take the risk to get involved in the messiness of one another’s lives.

    In this room of grace we would welcome any spiritual travelers and make it a priority that no one ever feels alone. We would make each other feel valuable but, on occasion, a little uncomfortable. Being comfortable in church is not the primary goal. A community of grace would not back off the truth but would share with arms wrapped around our fellow sojourners.

    In this sacred room we would worship with reverence because we have received the most amazing gift ever offered.

    The sad reality is that most of us are afraid to commit to this radical type of fellowship because we aren’t sure what it would require of us. We want to maintain control and Jesus is asking us to do something radical. Grace is a white knuckle roller coaster ride of trust.

    That is my dream of what church should look like. And that is why Toby Keith’s song resonates with me.

    [Chorus:]
    I love this bar
    It’s my kind of place
    Just walkin’ through the front door
    Puts a big smile on my face
    It ain’t too far, come as you are
    Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

    Does walking through the front door of your church community put a big smile on your face? If not, what is wrong? Is your church come as you are or only come cleaned up and acceptable? We are made for community. The church needs to realize that it is not only a place of teaching and reproach but also a place of refuge and grace. A walk-in clinic for messy believers and messy seekers. We haven’t been honest that everyone is messy. Some just clean up better for show and tell. I agree with another quote from Yancey.

    “I rejected the church for a time because I found so little grace there. I returned because I found grace nowhere else.”

    Jesus is always ready to franchise a new room of grace. Here is the promise to hang on the door.

    Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

    That is not a message of law. That is a message of grace.

    No cover charge, come as you are
    Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

    That is another thing we have communicated poorly. There is no cover charge to join the body of Christ. Admission has been paid by the Lord Jesus. Come as you are. Really.

  • Politics and Jesus

    Politics and Jesus

    Nothing like starting out the week by discussing two of the three forbidden topics: politics and Jesus. I used to be a rabid political guy. I once believed we could change the culture with the right political leaders. I was right to have the dream but wrong about the method. Even if I could get my “dream team” elected we would still have a problem in our culture.

    Sin.

    Politics and law don’t change that inconvenient truth (apologies to Al Gore) that we have an inherent human heart problem. Jesus gave us a perfect example of what it looks like to be a good citizen while recognizing what really changes the heart of man. The religious legalists (the Pharisees) were trying to trick Jesus to get Him in trouble with the Roman government. Nice try.

    “Teacher,” they said, “we know how honest you are. You are impartial and don’t play favorites. You teach the way of God truthfully. Now tell us—is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not? Should we pay them, or shouldn’t we?”

    Jesus saw through their hypocrisy and said, “Why are you trying to trap me? Show me a Roman coin, and I’ll tell you.” When they handed it to him, he asked, “Whose picture and title are stamped on it?”

    “Caesar’s,” they replied.

    “Well, then,” Jesus said, “give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God.”

    His reply completely amazed them.

    Tim Keller brilliantly identifies what happens when we make politics an ultimate thing.

    If you center your life and identity on a “noble cause,” you will divide the world into “good” and “bad” and demonize your opponents. Ironically, you will be controlled by your enemies. Without them, you have no purpose.

    We have taken demonizing to an art form in this current climate and both sides of the aisle believe they have a noble cause. We have seen the devastation to our country when we demonize our opponents. We must not fall into that trap as representatives of Jesus. Love those who oppose you and show them that grace is a bipartisan gift from God.

    Paul wrote to a church in Rome that certainly had to deal with some political issues.

    Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.  (Romans 13:1, NLT)

    That can be a hard one for believers right, left, and center to stomach at times. But I didn’t write those words in Scripture that remind me that God is in control and I am not.

    Philip Yancey wrote these words.

    Jesus and Paul spent no energy on trying to clean up the Roman empire, despite their terrible practices of abandoning infants, pederasty, and gladiator games.  Indeed, the people Jesus denounced most harshly, the Pharisees, were some of the most moral people on earth.  He did not give us the challenge of imposing our morality on others, but rather of spreading a far more radical message: that God loves sinners.  Politics is based on power, and power always causes divisions.  It is very difficulty indeed to get across a message of love and power at the same time.  One of them always loses out, and we are called to emphasize love.

    I agree. Jesus spent zero time trying to change the political culture. He spent all of His time changing hearts. The real power to change our broken world comes from the finished work of Jesus and the transformational power of the Gospel.

    My latest book, Waking Up Slowly, can be used as a 21 Day Journey to become more connected with God, one another and yourself.

    Waking Up Slowly_Cover

    No resolutions…just grace suggestions based on God’s Word. Would you join me on that journey in 2018? Click here to check it out.

  • What If?

    What If?

    Regular consumers of my humble ramblings (Bless your hearts!) know that I often find spiritual application from song lyrics both secular and sacred. Blame it on faulty brain wiring at the factory. This week I heard a snippet from Carly Simon’s haunting ballad “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” that triggered today’s musing. The song talks about the ideal of marriage. Her partner wants to marry and is convinced their union will be different. The lyrical response hit my heart.

    You say we can keep our love alive
    Babe – all I know is what I see –

    She had seen too many marriages start with fairy tale dreams and end in sorrow. That sad topic is another blog. What hit me on this day was how that principle of believing only what you see is true for us as followers of Jesus. We tell people we have good news. We tell people we have an eternal hope. We tell people they need this Jesus we talk about. But what hurts my heart is that too many people echo Carly Simon’s response.

    All I know is what I see.

    I too often have not represented the freedom and grace that Jesus desires for me to experience. I began my book When Bad Christians Happen to Good People with this quote from Brennan Manning.
    “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”

    Ouch. If my friends, family, and workmates don’t see anything different in my life then why should they listen? Wait..don’t leave me yet! I am not talking about legalistic sin management and self-righteous “good” behavior. I am talking about unvarnished honesty about the radical grace of Jesus. What if I showed them that kind of grace?

    What if I showed them grace that frees me to be wrong without shame and self-loathing? What if I demonstrated  grace that gives me the courage to be vulnerable and let them see who I really am? What if I let them know I am a total train wreck that needs that grace every moment of everyday? What if I lived out of grace that compels me to run to hurting souls instead of retreating to a safe distance to observe and hope it all works out okay?

    What if I quit agonizing about the uncertainty in the world and started sharing my belief that God is in control and He will always be with me (and you)? What if I genuinely showed gratitude for the small things as well as the big ones? What if I was consistently kind even when that action was inconvenient? What if I led instead of lamented about racial and other injustices? What if I acknowledged how much Jesus loves me by allowing that love flow to others? What if I shared that this relationship with Jesus isn’t based on performance or merit but 100 percent on unmerited Grace? What if I lived like God loves me on my worst day exactly the same as He loves me on my best day? What if I had this passage memorized and remembered it on the way out the door everyday?

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:12-17, NLT)

    Famous theologian D.L.Moody wrote that “Out of 100 men, one will read the Bible, the other 99 will read the Christian.”

    That would be completely overwhelming if I tried to do it on my own. But thank God I don’t have to attempt that unassisted. Jesus promised to be with me and is there anyone better to have your back?

    Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. (Ephesians 3:17, NLT)

    If I can believe that I would guess this little light of mine would burn a few watts brighter. And maybe some skeptics would be willing to listen.

  • Ready for a Better Way?

    Ready for a Better Way?

    Even occasional readers of my humble ramblings know that the start of my faith narrative was mired in legalism. My first church believed you could not spell denomination without “no”. Starting from that faulty foundation led me to years of sadness, tiredness and performance bondage.

    I replayed my long and fragmented journey to grace and freedom as I listened to a song from Hillside United titled, “From the Inside Out”.

    One thousand times I’ve failed
    Still your mercy remains
    Should I stumble again
    I’m caught in your grace

    Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades

    I remembered day after day of agonizing self-loathing because I kept failing. I did not understand His mercy nor did I believe I could fall on His grace. I was taught that such an attitude showed a lack of obedience and a dependence on “cheap grace”. Somehow I missed the message of Jesus to the religious hypocrites as I was influenced by the preaching of shame.

    I was released from that doctrinal prison just a few years ago. Moralism is answering to the wrong source of authority. Legalists often default to religious traditions rather than the Word of God.

    Legalism takes the sweet Gospel of Jesus Christ and mixes in some “churchified” version of the law. Church by-laws occupy equal footing with God’s Word. Righteousness is no longer about Christ but about right behavior as only they can define it. Legalism cherry picks verses that support behavioral control while conveniently ignoring dozens of verses about grace, forgiveness, kindness, love, gentleness and forbearance.

    Focusing on right behavior can make you moral and perhaps a good person. It does not make you righteous. Such focus is not much different (if at all) from an agnostic or sporadic church-goer who really tries hard to do right and moral things. Tim Keller wrote this provocative thought about legalism in his wonderful book The Reason for God.

    “The devil, if anything, prefers Pharisees—men and women who try to save themselves. They are more unhappy than either mature Christians or irreligious people, and they do a lot more spiritual damage.”

    I spent many long and frustrating years trying to do all the right things to be righteous. I got tired. I became discouraged. I reached the point of brokenness that allowed me turn over the keys to Christ. I reached the point where I no longer had to be right. I had reached the point where I didn’t want to wear a phony mask of holiness. I had reached the point where I was willing to trust God completely with everything about me. I had reached the point where I was ready for grace. And that is the day that I began to experience what Hillside United sings about in today’s song.

    My heart and my soul
    I give you control
    Consume me from the inside out

    Let justice and praise become my embrace
    To love you from the inside out

    And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise from the inside out

    That is where real change happens. From the inside out. Moralism can restrain sin but only the Holy Spirit gives you the power to not sin. Moralism will always fail. Either you will fail to live up to your standards or you will fail by damaging those you love.

    If you are tired enough, discouraged enough, wounded enough and ready to give up then I have a very odd statement to make.

    You are in a wonderful place. You are ready for grace.

    Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace. (Romans 6, NLT)

    You are ready for change from the inside out. God is waiting for you to experience His grace. Legalism is a dead end street to misery. There is a better way to live.

    In freedom.

    In Christ.

    (Waking Up Slowly offers a 21 day journey to connect more fully to God and one another.
    Check it out here.)

  • Watch The Video for Waking Up Slowly!

    Watch The Video for Waking Up Slowly!

    The official video for Waking Up Slowly is ready to watch. I am proud to announce a cameo from Maggie the Rescued Labrador (?) appearing as herself. Hope you enjoy the video preview of the book. I am super excited to share this book with you.