Charisa Stories

Tag: grace

21 Connect: Day 9 – Grudges Weigh You Down

Carrying a grudge is so easy to do. But I think this writer nails how counterproductive the practice really is.

To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.

William H. Walton

I think we can all agree that God is not honored when we hold grudges, especially against fellow believers. I can disagree with you, but unless the issue is heresy, I do not have permission to dismiss you. We need to iron it out and make up.

That is not the easiest path. My default response when I am wronged is usually sinful, and I take a little comfort that I am not unique. A couple of guys who were really close to Jesus had the same sinful response to bad behavior:

He sent messengers ahead to a Samaritan village to prepare for his arrival. But the people of the village did not welcome Jesus because he was on his way to Jerusalem. When James and John saw this, they said to Jesus, “Lord, should we call down fire from heaven to burn them up?” Luke 9:52-54

My response? You betcha! Fire! Bring it, Jesus! But what was His response?

Jesus turned and rebuked them. So they went on to another village. Luke 9:55-56

As much as my heart cries out for vindication and revenge, Jesus says no. You go on to the next village. You trust God. You forgive. This journey is hard because my sense of justice says that maybe they deserve fire from heaven. But it gets even tougher. Jesus says to forgive my enemies.

I resist with my well-rehearsed five-step program. Step one is to blame someone else. Step two is to vow not to back down and give in because, after all, I was wronged. Step three is to go into hiding and despair. Step four is to be too proud to lose the battle. Step five is to hang on to the grudge, even as the weight of that animosity crushes my spirit. That is an ugly little sequence, but it is a pattern I have repeated far too many times in my journey. I imagine Jesus’ heart is saddened by my stubborn refusal to consider His forgiveness extended to me and, consequently, my refusal to lean on His power to forgive.

There is fear on that road to forgiveness, when I take my eyes off of Christ. My heart cries out in protest. What if they reject, scoff, or take advantage of my forgiveness? Jesus reminds me gently that He understands. And it is the right thing to do, no matter how the other party responds.

Sometimes truth is irritating.

When I break those chains and allow God to heal my heart, the weight of the world is lifted off my soul. Sadly, too often, it is the road less taken. But it is the path that will make a difference in my (and your) journey with Jesus.

I love these principles of Christian living, often attributed to St. Augustine:

“In essentials, Unity. In non-essentials, Liberty. In everything, Love.”

What would the impact of the gospel be if the body of Christ lived by that simple little credo? Satan knows all too well how a world that is shown God’s real love and grace would respond. So the enemy reminds me of grudges both real and enhanced. I turn from forgiveness because I convince myself that my offender does not deserve it. I conveniently forget that I did not deserve forgiveness either. There is no way I have found to release those grudges without the healing power of forgiveness. Author Will Davis Jr. explains:

Once you decide to forgive, you initiate the healing process. Forgiveness gives your soul permission to move on to the higher and healthier ground of emotional recovery. Forgiveness is to your soul what
antibiotics are to infection. It is the curative agent that will help to fully restore your soul. It doesn’t immediately remove the pain of the offense but it does start you on the road to recovery.

I really like that perspective. The decision to forgive initiates but does not complete healing. You and I will, in time, heal. But we will never get there without taking the first step of faith. Would you decide to lighten your load today and give up the grudge?

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly.

March 28, 2020
21 Connect: Day 7 – This Crisis Can Teach us the Wisdom of Sabbath

On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all his work of creation.
Genesis 2:2-3, NLT

God did not need to rest. He was modeling for His creation that we need to slow down and relax. Think of that. The God of Creation can kick back and enjoy what has been accomplished. Our Creator is telling us that we are creatures and not machines. What is wrong with us that we cannot take moments to enjoy and appreciate both our gifts of grace and the work of our hands?

God understood that the body, mind, and spirit need rest and refueling time. Our culture has lost that instinct and ability to give ourselves permission to rest. Now a worldwide pandemic has forced many of us to slow down. For some it has been a maddening and boring time. For others it has been a revelation of how our busy lives have caused us to forget the simple and sacred moments of daily living.

Jesus demonstrated that the command for Sabbath observance was not about following a hyperlegalistic rule. It was about taking the time to get over ourselves and see what God is doing. Remember this encounter with the Sabbath police?

One Sabbath, Jesus was strolling with his disciples
through a field of ripe grain. Hungry, the disciples were
pulling off the heads of grain and munching on them.
Some Pharisees reported them to Jesus: “Your disciples
are breaking the Sabbath rules!”
Jesus said, “Really? Didn’t you ever read what David
and his companions did when they were hungry, how
they entered the sanctuary and ate fresh bread off the
altar, bread that no one but priests were allowed to
eat? And didn’t you ever read in God’s Law that priests
carrying out their Temple duties break Sabbath rules
all the time and it’s not held against them?
“There is far more at stake here than religion. If
you had any idea what this Scripture meant‘
I prefer a flexible heart to an inflexible ritual’— you wouldn’t be nitpicking like this. The Son of Man is no lackey to
the Sabbath; he’s in charge.”
Matthew 1 2 : 1 – 8 , The Message

While I am reasonably sure that Jesus did not say “lackey” to the Pharisees, it sure is fun to think about. But the point is that the heart of Sabbath is not rule keeping. It is resting in the One who is our Sabbath. I can acknowledge that God has this under control and He can get by just fine without my assistance for a few hours. Writer Wendell Berry captured the spirit of letting go of my need to control every moment:

“Sabbath observance invites us to stop. It invites us to rest.
It asks us to notice that while we rest the world continues
without our help. It invites us to find delight in the world’s
beauty and abundance.”

The world gets along just fine without my help. That is disappointing and liberating at the same time. Noted author Dallas Willard, who possessed a far bigger brain than I have, says this about the fourth commandment:

“The command is ‘Do no work.’ Just make space. Attend to
what is around you. Learn that you don’t have to do to be.
Accept the grace of doing nothing. Stay with it until you stop
jerking and squirming.”

Accept the grace of doing nothing. I love that thought. I failed to recognize how innocuous and mundane little activities add up, draining my life battery.

Sabbath truly is vital to our very well-being. It can be an oasis in the desert of busy living. God does not ordinarily clamor for my attention. He waits quietly for me to show up, be still, and spend time with Him. I don’t do that often enough.

This time of rest might have been forced upon us but we would do well to learn the lessons of reflection, time, and worship. Things will return to busy soon. Let’s not forget the sacred value of Sabbath.

March 26, 2020
Connect 21: Day 5 Receiving the Gift of Grace

Today’s chapter from Waking Up Slowly is about our reluctance to receive the gift of grace. This 21 day journey explores the actions and attitudes that drive us away from God. One of those is refusing to accept that our salvation, sanctification, and satisfaction are all about what God has done and not about our own self-efforts.

As a follower of Christ, I have everything I need to be content. Yet I wander, looking for something new or the latest trend in the church. What I was looking for in every book, program, study, and event was the sweet gospel of unconditional love, unmerited forgiveness, and complete acceptance. I was looking for grace.

This line from poet Nancy Spiegelberg may be the most indicting summary
of the grace I misunderstood for decades: “Lord, I crawled across the barrenness to You with my empty cup uncertain in asking any small drop of refreshment. If only I had known You better I’d have come running with a bucket.”

I am indeed awakening to the mystery, the majesty, and the unquenchable supply of grace given to me each moment.

Grace.

It is a word that has lost its power through misuse and overuse. Fearful grace objectors banter about the ridiculous concept of cheap grace as if I must be wary of receiving a gift from my Father in heaven. Are you kidding me? If I view grace like a sales pitch for a time-share resort, I am listening to the wrong voices. There are no strings attached with grace. No fine print. No hidden costs. No promises to lure me in that have not already and forever been fully delivered. Grace gives me full title to the resort and all the first-class amenities.

Grace.

So God comes along with a redemption plan so radical that we have a hard time believing it could be true. This is what I almost always hear when I share God’s grace with unbelievers or fellow recovering legalists.
“Is this true?”
“Yes, it is,” I affirm.
The follow-up question is the same one I asked when I first heard the grace message.
“Why haven’t I heard this before?”
To be completely honest, I had heard versions of that message over my first few decades of faith.

Thank God I finally understood that I could not do it myself. I could not earn my way to righteousness. And more importantly, I finally understood that this was the best news ever. I could quit flailing and start trusting God’s
gift of grace.

You don’t have to do anything but believe. Radical. Crazy.

Grace

GOD’S TAKE
God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for
this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (Ephesians 2 : 8 – 9)

A DOSE OF GRACE
Grace is by definition an undeserved gift. Look for people in your life to whom you can give this gift of acceptance, love, forgiveness, and kindness today. Don’t expect reciprocity when you give grace. This is such an important piece to connect more with God and others. Accept His grace as a wonderful gift, and feel free to regift it over and over again.

Excerpts are from Waking Up Slowly. Check it our here.

March 24, 2020
21 Connect: Day 4 – The Owner’s Manual

Today’s chapter examines the role of the Bible in our culture and how there is a movement to diminish the importance of Scripture. Many are quick to find ways that unloving and graceless misapplications of biblical texts have done harm, while dismissing the incredible positive impact this same book has had on history. Commandments against murder, stealing, and lying are the basis of our legal system. The teachings of Jesus lived out by His early followers radically changed the status of women and children. Biblical stories and characters flow throughout great literature and art. Much of the true humanitarian work in medicine was born out of biblical conviction.
Pastor Tim Keller had this insight about Scripture.

If the Bible really was the revelation of God, and therefore it wasn’t the product of any one culture, wouldn’t it contradict every culture at some point? Therefore, if it’s really from God, wouldn’t it have to offend your cultural sensibilities at some point? Yes, it should. If the Bible is the revelation of God, then it follows that this volume contains insights into my spiritual and emotional DNA that only the Designer can fully explain.

Tim Keller

An engineer can look at a design problem and provide a solution. He or she designed the product and knows where the problem exists and how the solution can be implemented. A software designer can look into the code and find the offending bug that wreaks havoc. The designer knows how the program works. I believe that to be true about my design. God knows how my software is written and how to keep it virus free and functioning normally. I capitulate that “normal” may look a little different for me than it does for you, but that is my design.

Psalm 139 was part of the beginning premise of this book. In that text David writes about how we are formed. Keep in mind that he wrote about the miracle of conception and life centuries before sonograms and the advanced knowledge of DNA:

You watched me as I was being formed in utter
seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
Psalm 139:15

Look at the language that David uses when he writes about how life is formed in the womb, using a word that the ESV translates as “intricately woven.” The Hebrew word can be translated to variegate, which means to weave with multicolored threads. The word suggests the complex patterns and colors implemented by an embroiderer.

David could not have used a more apt illustration for the complex beginning of life than the handiwork of an embroiderer.

According to Carl Sagan, a single human chromosome (a DNA molecule) contains 20 billion bits of information. But what does that mean? What if all this information were written in an ordinary book in contemporary language?

Twenty billion bits are comparable to about 3 billion letters. If there are roughly 6 letters in the average word, the information contained in a single human chromosome is equivalent to about 500 million words. The average page of printed text contains approximately 300 words, which translates to
roughly 2 million pages. Assuming the average book contains 500 or so pages, the information contained in a single human chromosome adds up to more than 4,000 volumes.

Sagan goes on to conclude, “It is clear, then, that the sequence of rungs on our DNA ladders represents an enormous library of information. It is equally clear that so rich a library is required to specify as exquisitely constructed and intricately functioning an object as a human being.”

By the way, Carl Sagan was an astronomer and atheist, and he believed this all happened by chance. And yet that same information led former atheist Francis Collins to come to faith in Jesus as he studied the human
genome.

As the director of the Human Genome Project, I have led a consortium of scientists to read out the 3.1 billion letters of the human genome, our own DNA instruction book. As a believer, I see DNA, the information molecule of all living things, as God’s language, and the elegance and complexity of our own bodies and the rest of nature as a reflection of God’s plan.
Francis Collins

For me, I have found that no volume addresses the most fundamental questions of humankind as completely as the Bible.

Why am I here?
Do I have a purpose?
Is there anything after death?
Is there a God?
Can I know God personally?
Is God a loving or vindictive force?
Why is there pain and suffering if God is loving?
How can I find happiness?

These questions are honestly examined in the Bible, through words and interactions in the stories of the people struggling with those same imponderables. People like you and me. The Bible does not sugarcoat the failings of the most revered biblical figures—it honestly explores evil, sin, consequences, suffering, and pain. It sets forth the basis for true justice for the poor and oppressed, something that people still seek today. I have found principles for success in marriage, parenting, work, leadership, and friendship. I see hope for the future when others say it looks bleak. I realize salvation requires nothing to be sacrificed, other than my unwillingness
to confess my need. Today I will meditate on this verse.

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.
2 Timothy 3:16

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly.

I welcome your comments, thoughts, questions, concerns, and praises. Let’s talk!

March 23, 2020
21 Connect: Day 3 Busyness is Not Next to Godliness

My personal belief is that one of the biggest and most damaging mistakes that the church makes with new believers is not teaching clearly and continually what happens when
you put your faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. It seems that we too often get young Christians immediately into studies and activities, suggesting that change can happen only when you are trying hard and concentrating on the spiritual disciplines.

That was my struggle for forty years before I realized a simple truth. Dramatic change took place the moment I made that faith commitment to follow Jesus. Scripture tells
me that when I decided to become a follower of Christ, the following things happened immediately:

I was given a new identity.
I became a new creation.
I received the gift of the righteousness of Christ.

I struggle with that concept because I am not always righteous in my behavior. That may well be the biggest understatement in this volume. Here is the amazing theology of the gospel: God sees me as righteous and worthy because of my relationship with Jesus. Nothing I have done or ever will do could earn that righteousness. It is a gift of grace because of the finished work of Jesus on the cross.

I was changed completely when I put my trust in Christ as my only hope for salvation. I did not have to struggle with futile performance to change. I was changed that day. But it has taken me forty years to know Him better, never realizing I had been carrying around the key to that kind of relationship since day one.

Now I see a different picture. I see Jesus standing at my side and explaining that I am completely changed. I see Him telling me that my sins are forgiven and I can quit relitigating past mistakes. I see Him explaining to me that all of those things that used to be true about me are no longer true. I see Him repeating that, because I tend to nod my head without really believing it. Jesus explains to me that no matter what the accuser might say, those things that used to define me are dead and buried at the Cross. I see Jesus telling me that I have the Holy Spirit to comfort me and provide an unshakable source of strength.

He reminds me gently that I don’t have to grit my teeth and try harder to win favor and please Him. He tells me for the ten
thousandth time that sin does not have power over me anymore.

And I see His demeanor being just as patient and kind as the first time He told me that truth. I hear Him remind me that power over sin is looking to Him for my strength and not trying to fight it with my busyness and resolve.

I see Jesus looking deeply into my eyes and tenderly expressing (again) that it is my trust in God that pleases Him. No other works are required. My faith is what pleases Him according to God’s Word. Nothing else. I picture Jesus embracing me and saying, “Relax. Rest. Let Me love you and then, out of that rest and love, you can love others. Quit making it so complicated, Dave.”

I have a hard time putting my full weight on those truths. Today I want to meditate on these words from Jesus.

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30, NLT

What a wonderful thought for such a time as this.

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly.

March 22, 2020
Up for a 21 Day Journey Together?

My book Waking Up Slowly was written to be used as a 21 day journey to become more connected to God and one another. Since many of us just picked up some extra time I wondered if a few of you would like to join me on a three week quest? You don’t need to buy the book but if you want to here is the link.

I will post an excerpt each day with a quick devotional. I will ask for your comments on that day’s topic and how God is using this worldwide storm to bring us closer to Him. I noted in Waking Up Slowly that we are the most connected culture in history but arguably the most disconnected from God and one another. Our three week journey will cover actions and attitudes that cause us to become more or less connected to God. We will discuss things like fear, pride, gratitude, doubt, busyness, kindness, grace, regret, lack of forgiveness, and many more. Some topics will hit home more than others and you might choose to revisit those again after our journey. I don’t know how many of you will join me on this trip. I just feel like somebody needs it right now and I have the time. If you are already signed up to receive my blog it will be delivered by email. You can sign up today to be on the email list. The signup box is on the front page of the site. And I will link each day to my author page on Facebook. We launch our journey this Friday. Hope you join me!

March 18, 2020
Which Voice Are You Listening To?

The number one Christian recording for 2019 was Lauren Daigle’s song “You Say”. The lyrics perfectly describe the battle that most of us fight to believe that what God says about us is true. Here is a sample of her powerful lyrics.

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know…

I wrote about this topic in my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace.

I am drawn to wounded and dysfunctional people like a moth to light. When I hear their stories, I see a familiar pattern. They tend to believe that all the old junk in their lives is still true about them in God’s eyes. Too many followers of Jesus cannot believe they are a new and holy creation.
Recently I saw a T-shirt with this message: “Even if the voices in my head aren’t real they do have some good ideas”.
I got an initial chuckle out of that one. But then I thought, Wait! The voices in my head rarely have good ideas.
I suspect that is true for some of you as well. Sadly, the voices in our heads are real, formidable foes, voices that were programmed from childhood. Negative comments from parents, teachers, coaches, siblings, friends, fellow Christians, and assorted others have laid down deeply grooved tracks in my self-image soundtrack mix. Favorite cuts like these are always cued and ready to be played.
“You will never change.”
“What were you thinking?”
“I can’t believe you did that again.”
“What is wrong with you?”
“I am so disappointed in you.”
And the number one accusation on my personal Top 10 countdown . . .
“How could you be so stupid?”
That one cued up and replayed just this weekend when I locked my rental car keys in the trunk. When you mess up, the voices begin. And then your own voice joins the chorus. “It is true. I am not worthy. I am not enough. I am stupid. I don’t deserve to be loved.”
When you face disappointment, rejection, failure, loss, and trials, self-incriminating remarks flood your mind.
Why wasn’t I a better (pick one) spouse/friend/brother/sister/relative?”
“If I had done (insert action), this would not have happened.”
“Why didn’t I (insert missed opportunity) when I had the chance?”
“Why did I (pick one or more) work too much/travel too much/whatever too much when I should have been there?”
If I may lean on my sports background here, Satan calls the all-out blitz when people of faith go through seasons of trial and doubt. He delights in accusing and trying to rock the very foundation of your faith. Satan is, always has been, and always will be a liar. You have learned to never trust a liar at work or in other relationships. How much more should we pray to recognize and reject the lies that Satan attacks us with during adversity?
There is another voice. It is much softer and requires more effort to hear. It is not a voice of shame. It is a voice of hope, love, acceptance, forgiveness, and grace. You have to slow way down and be quiet to hear this voice.

Lauren Daigle’s lyrics describe this voice poetically.

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe
What You say of me
I believe

All of us hear those voices from the enemy. The voices from bad experiences in our past may require counseling to help erase them. But for the everyday challenges of the journey, I have learned that the voice we tend to hear first in the spiritual battle is the loud one. Step back, be still, and listen for the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit.

Our God is a God of forgiveness. We need to fix our eyes on Jesus. Don’t lose heart. Don’t allow the enemy to keep you from leaning on God for comfort because of your shame. That is not from the Lord.

In John we read this amazing promise.

But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. (John 1:12, NLT)

Don’t believe the lies. You are a child of God. Beloved. As Lauren Daigle sings this truth I pray that we will believe it today.

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity,

It is true. Believe it.

Excerpts taken from Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace

March 2, 2020