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Ronald Reagan had a favorite joke that he told so often that the joke itself became a joke with staff members. A CBS News piece related the story as remembered by former Reagan aide Ed Meese. The joke was told about twin boys who were six years old. Worried that the boys had developed extreme personalities — one was a total pessimist, the other a total optimist — their parents took them to a psychiatrist.

First the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with brand-new toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. “What’s the matter?” the psychiatrist asked, baffled. “Don’t you want to play with any of the toys?” “Yes,” the little boy bawled, “but if I did I’d only break them.”

Next the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen his out look, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist emitted just the yelp of delight the psychiatrist had been hoping to hear from his brother, the pessimist. Then he clambered to the top of the pile, dropped to his knees, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop with his bare hands. “What do you think you’re doing?” the psychiatrist asked, just as baffled by the optimist as he had been by the pessimist. “With all this manure,” the little boy replied, beaming, “there must be a pony in here somewhere!”

“Reagan told the joke so often,” Meese said, chuckling, “that it got to be kind of a joke with the rest of us. Whenever something would go wrong, somebody on the staff would be sure to say, “There must be a pony in here somewhere.’”

This may seem like an odd lead in to a Thanksgiving article but regular readers know that odd linkings are part of my brain function. On this Thanksgiving Joni and I could choose to be the pessimist in the joke. This has been a tough year. Joni has been in the middle of her breast cancer treatment for eight very long months. Her prognosis is good but we know it is never certain. So we could choose to wonder why this has happened to us.

Forgive me if this is a bit crude but I can tell that when you start digging through the crap that life dumps on us you will very often find the pony. We have found so many blessings in the midst of the storm. This is just a partial list of the blessings we are grateful to God for on this special day of Thanksgiving.

• Experiencing the peace that is inexplicable. How can we find peace in the middle of a battle with cancer? It is only through the comfort of the Holy Spirit. Paul talks about this in his letter to the Church at Philippi.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4 NIV

• The friends who have been there with us throughout this trial.
  
• The countless “strangers” who are praying for us. Many are praying for Joni because of this blog. Others through prayer lists around the country. What an amazing blessing to realize that people who don’t even know us are praying for us.
  
• The privilege of glorifying God through this trial. When I first told our sons about their Mom’s diagnosis I told each of them the same thing. “If our faith in Christ doesn’t work now it is not of much value”. It has worked. And it is of great value.
  
• The realization that we can get through anything with Christ.
  
• A changed perspective on life’s little irritants. Joni’s cancer has changed how I view my world. My biggest concern is that I will forget this lesson when the treatments end and the tests are good. In the words of the Apostle Paul…God forbid.
  
• An even deeper appreciation for my bride. Her courage and faith have been inspiring…and humbling.
  
• Priorities…priorities…priorities. I want my life to count for eternity. Every day is a precious gift and not to be taken for granted.

As you face this Thanksgiving you may be looking at circumstances that may make it hard to be thankful. I understand that it can be hard at times. But I also know the value of continuing to dig through the pile. More often than I would have ever dreamed possible there is a “pony” in there somewhere. Don’t miss a blessing this Thanksgiving.

We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus, will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you. All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory.

 That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.

I pray on this Thanksgiving that you will never give up. And never quit digging for the blessings that are hidden.

 

 

This Thursday most Americans will sit down to the ridiculous excess that we call Thanksgiving dinner. I will be one of them. If my pattern continues I will eat too much of the wonderful food prepared by my bride. I will probably complain that I ate too much as if that is anyone’s fault other than my own. I will be genuinely thankful for having my family together. That will be extra special this year because Joni’s cancer is a reminder that such gatherings are not guaranteed. I will thank God for the bounty of food that will be before us. But I don’t think I will really comprehend how blessed I am to be a citizen of the United States.

A story that I read in the Miami Herald gave me a big helping of perspective as I look forward to Thanksgiving Day.

Streaks of grime cover the boys’ bodies and insects crawl on their heads as they scour through heaps of trash alongside buzzards that seem large enough to carry the kids away. Brothers Carlos, 11, and Noel, 9, are dragging a pair of plastic bags filled with fast-food refuse while Ruben, 14, chases after a dump truck spilling fresh rubbish. This is life for the children at the main municipal dump in the capital of Honduras — a life of far-too-early desperation in a country where nearly two-thirds of the population lives in poverty.

Many Latin American nations have pepenadores, Spanish slang for people who scour garbage dumps for recyclable goods they can then sell. But Honduras has the highest rate of children working at dumps — an estimated 2,000, according to UNICEF, the United Nations Children’s Fund.

”Every barrio has a dump,” said Rick Beck, a Christian missionary who visits the Tegucigalpa city dump each week to deliver food and prayer. “It’s a way of living. The problem has to be attacked spiritually, physically and emotionally.” Soledad Ramírez, director of social programs for Tegucigalpa, said the effort to get the kids out of the dump will require a long-term commitment.

”It’s not just to rescue the kids. It’s to educate them and insert them into society,” she told The Miami Herald. “Many of these children grew up in the dumps. There were even children in cribs there.”

I don’t want my ministry to be a travel agency for guilt trips. But I do want to be tender enough to the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit to realize the need and then to gladly offer back a portion of what I have been given. It breaks my heart to think of these precious children digging through the refuse of the other poor to survive. What a disturbing image to picture a crib in the middle of a garbage dump.

We are so blessed…and so oblivious.

Picture this scenario.

Here comes 6-year-old Giovanny, yanking at the brothers’ trash bags to pick through crumpled boxes of fried chicken. He’s known as El Pollo — The Chicken — for his love of the morsels he scrapes off the tossed-out bones.

We laugh about the five second rule when food falls on the floor. But for most of us it would mean nothing to toss that food away and get something else. Imagine gnawing on the remains of someone else’s scraps to get a morsel of nourishment. It is a disgusting thought. But it is a heartbreaking reality for Giovanny.

And I realize that I am so blessed…and so oblivious.

When the dump trucks roll in, it’s a mad dash to get to the refuse. Men and boys tend to push the women off the mounds, and no one seems bothered by the smell, which at times is so foul it burns the nostrils and makes the eyes tear. The pepenadores are too busy collecting anything they can use — some shoes they can wear, a semi-broken toy they can still play with, a piece of cake they can eat, a bit of metal, plastic bottles or paper they can sell.

”The problem is that they make more money in that dump than they do with an education,” said Kim Beck, who helps her missionary husband deliver food.

Enjoy the blessings that God has provided this Thanksgiving. But take a moment to reflect on how truly blessed we are in this country. Maybe a little perspective will help you realize that the position or title you were denied is not that big a deal. Or that person who irritates you at work or church is created in the image of God and in a fallen state…just like you and me. About 98% of what we get all exorcised over is trivial from an eternal perspective. What does the Lord delight in? It is not our wealth or power or position.

“This is what the LORD says: ‘Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,’ declares the LORD.” Jeremiah 9:23-24  

Count your blessings. Be grateful. Don’t feel guilty that you are blessed. But don’t forget the responsibility of that blessing. And maybe we should pray that we could begin to approach what was happening in the early church.

“All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.”  Act 4:32–35

Maybe that is not possible in this culture. I suppose I am naive. But I am sure we can do a lot better by being a little less oblivious to the suffering around us.

If you want to help the children of Honduras or anywhere in the world you can go to World Vision or Feed the Children and share a part of your blessings.

 

 

As I navigate through our increasingly more bizarre culture I alternate between laughing and crying. Yesterday I found out that our government has decided to redefine the plight of poor families in our country. For the thirty-three million Americans without enough money to buy food or families in which parents skip meals so their children can eat are now labeled as having “very low food security.” The experts feel that the term “hungry” does really describe their situation.

I think these bureaucrats have “very low common sense capacity”. Hungry describes the situation for too many people in this country. I realized that we do the same thing as followers of Jesus. Because we don’t want to offend anyone we manage to do exactly what the government is doing. We have “very low truth and grace security”. The late Howard Cosell signature phrase was “telling it like it is”. Our culture seems increasingly less capable of calling simple concepts by their name.

Our politically correct society has make sin an archaic and intolerant word. But no word as powerfully communicates any behavior that separates me from a Holy God. By reducing the power of the concept of sin we have negated the awesome gift of grace. You don’t need grace to rescue you from idiosyncrasies. I haven’t been moved by a hymn that says…

Amazing Grace. How sweet the sound,
That empowered a dysfunctional but spiritually seeking and fundamentally good person like me.

Somehow John Newton’s original line about saving a wretch like me hits a little closer to my story. I am not talking about self-bashing and looking for fault. I am talking about the mind boggling prospect of facing a holy and sinless God with resume that I would have to present. Am I a good person? Yeah, I think so. Am I up to that appointment without the redemptive endorsement of Jesus? No way.

The classic hymn He Took My Sins Away by Margaret Harris would lose some luster if many of us in the body of Christ were writing it about ourselves. Here is the refrain as she wrote it in 1901.

He took my sins away, He took my sins away,
And keeps me singing every day!
I’m so glad He took my sins away,
He took my sins away.

One hundred and four years later it might go something like this…

He recognized my dysfunctional past, He helped me find my inner voice
And showed me it was not my fault
I’m so glad He understood my syndrome
He took away my responsibility.

Same verse…everybody sing along now.

Ahh….responsibility…that is a bad word in our culture. Evangelist Mike Wells makes a sobering point in one his newsletters. He was talking to a man who was, in his words, addicted to pornography. Wells responded “I’ll bet your family is sick of watching pornography with you.” The man was horrified. “Oh no, I would never look at it around them!”  Wells asked him the uncomfortable question of how can you be addicted if you can choose when and where he watches pornography? So much of what we try to excuse as addiction is a choice that we make. We choose to find a private place. We choose to go online and we choose to type in the address of a site that is inappropriate. I will grant that not making these choices can be difficult but we are denigrating the power of Jesus Christ living through us if we say we can’t make them.

Any thing that breaks the covenant between myself and a Holy God is sin. God doesn’t have scales to weigh our sins. Really good people still fall short of the mark. I fall short and I need that fixed. Jesus came to fix it. That gift of forgiveness is incomprehensible.

Jesus called sin by it’s name…but He also calls us by name…His child. All it takes is accepting the gift of salvation.

 

 

The daily ramblings have recently featured a little dialogue between father and son. Eldest son Matt has allowed me to post our discussion on some questions he is pondering. If you would like to catch up the series started when Matt had a thought provoking, soul-searching encounter with a homeless man in Salt Lake City. I responded to some of his questions about being more transparent, pride, and the challenge of finding real friends. Here is Matt’s response to the first round of the dialogue.

Dad,

First, I love the dialogue.  It’s a little more public than I would prefer but I appreciate the opportunity for a son to engage his father in the deeper things of life.  Thanks for taking the time.

The other night Holly and I were discussing this premise of authentic relationships.  (Before you think we are the intellectual types this conversation was jammed between recorded episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and ER).  She looked at me with cute blue eyes after hearing me ponder these lofty thoughts while using big, theological words and said, “Matt, the only thing that matters is who God believes you are”.  She turned to resume her consumption of scandalous, action-packed pablum in front of the television.  Her thought has not left me.

A few days later I brought it up again on a car trip.  The only thing that matters is what God believes of us…is that true?  I mean, I know it’s true in the same way I know what a baseball looks like kind of true.  Cognitively it makes sense.  But spiritually I can’t get my mind around it. Your thoughts on pride struck me in this same way. 

But I have to be honest with you. This will be a lifetime project. I have gotten better at allowing the Holy Spirit to gain control of my pride. But I still take back control at times. Why? Because I do have things to “protect”. I want you to think I am smart, successful, a good husband, a good Dad, a good Christian. The truth is I am all of those things some of the time but definitely not all of the time. And why is that such a problem to admit? 

Pride.

It makes sense to me.  Yet, making sense of something and living it are two distinct things.  In my head, I know pride and arrogance consumes me more than I wish to admit.  Years ago I recognized this while simultaneously loathing that part of me.  I can control these feelings through false humility, downplaying the gifts and blessings as not being special or different.  I can dip my eyes during a compliment or say quick thanks that belittle the person attempting a sincere gesture all for the sake of being “humble”. 

In keeping the C.S. Lewis theme going he said, “I would prefer to combat the ‘I’m special’ feeling not by the thought ‘I’m no more special than anyone else’ but by feeling ‘Everyone is as special as me’”.  Seriously?  I can understand we are all messed up.  We see that everyday.  But we are all special?  It sounds too Sunday school turned Stuart Smalley for me.  In our modern Christian culture the Fall dominates Creation.  Yet, the truth is God believes I am special, and you are special, and everyone around us, everyday, at every moment is equally special.       

Through false humility I deny what God has so graciously provided and, in the midst of this denial, neglect to recognize how special God sees those around me.  What would we have to do to see ourselves and those around us as equally special?  Is it even possible to not create layers, caste systems, socio-economic boundaries, denominational trenches, or the multitude of other things that separate us and label us superior or inferior?  It’s a discouraging thought.

But here’s something to ponder…Henri Nouwen writes in Out of Solitude (a great 1 hour read) that when we truly reflect and look deeply into our soul that “it is in this solitude that we realize that being is more important than having and that we are worth more than the sum of our efforts.  In solitude we discover that our life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared.  It’s there we recognize that the healing words we speak are not just our own, but are given to us; that the love we can express is part of a greater love; and that the new life we bring forth is not a property to cling to, but a gift to be received.”   

How do we change what we cling to daily?  Are Christians or churches more proud of being present for people or a resume of conversions, giving, and ministries?  Can anyone truly believe that God sees us as more valuable than the sum of our efforts?  And, if we did, what would that church or those kinds of Christians look like?

Those are my questions…I look forward to the dialogue.  

Eldest son Matt posed a series of questions recently that I have addressed in two previous blogs. I just received a follow-up from him that I will address in the days to come. It is fun, challenging, and a little annoying to have your progeny make you think this deeply. Matt is a bit uncomfortable with the public nature of the dialogue and I can understand that. I have several years of public declaration that I am an idiot saved by grace who is currently engaged in a fumbling, bumbling stagger to the finish line. It is a relief to acknowledge that simple fact and I found that, for me, that declaration was a turning point in my journey.

Today the question posed by Matt involves friendships.

Why can’t all friendships feel this freedom and openness and even honesty about our ugliness?

Hey Matt,

Real friends are a treasure. I know you have probably read all of the works of 17th century French classical author François La Rochefoucauld. In case you missed this quote I will refresh your memory.

“A true friend is the most precious of all possessions and the one we take the least thought about acquiring.”

That is so true. The kind of friendship that you desire will be, if not rare, at least unusual. You will have many good friends and that is a blessing. But you will have just a handful of real friends. Friends that you can tell anything and not be rejected. Friends that you can call at any time for any reason. I have just a handful of friends in that category. Relationships like that take time. It takes investment. And I think you have to go through a variety of experiences together to really go to the next level of friendship. You don’t really know a person until you go through adversity with them. That is not something you can plan or force.

I admire your desire for openness and honesty about the ugliness in all of our lives. That is a risk. Not everyone can handle that. But if you are willing to take the risk you will find friends that are willing to go there. And they will be in that trusted circle of real friends. I know you are a fan of writer Henri Nouwen (in addition to La Rochefoucauld). This thought from Nouwen captures the heart of friendship that goes beyond backslappin’ and bad manners.  

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” 

You can’t force that. But you can help the process by being a friend. It is no surprise that Proverbs contains some great thoughts on friendship. Solomon recognized that not everyone who starts out as a friend remains a real friend.

There are “friends” who destroy each other,
      but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.  Proverbs 18:24

The need for honesty is expressed in this familiar proverb.

As iron sharpens iron,
      so a friend sharpens a friend.  Proverbs 27:17

I think that is what you are looking for in a friendship. Beyond the fun times you want a friend who cares enough to challenge. And that is when you discover the state of your friendship union. Later we find this interesting nugget.

Wounds from a sincere friend
      are better than many kisses from an enemy.  Proverbs 27:6

That is a hard truth. But that is the friendship holy grail that you are seeking. Finding a friend like that is worth the risk and it is a risk. You will likely be disappointed and even hurt along the way. But finding that small number of real friends is worth it. All friends are a blessing. Real friends are a treasure. I will wrap this up with a quote from one of my sentimental favorites, the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life”.

Remember, no man is a failure who has friends. 

Enjoying the exchange,

Dad

Last week I had the first response to Eldest Son Matt’s questions about his encounter with a homeless man named Brett on a recent trip to Salt Lake City. Matt relayed the emotional and gut level prayer that Brett prayed for him.

I asked to pray for him (Brett) and said a generic prayer of protection, hope, forgiveness, and provision of resources. I reached for my wallet again and he stopped me. He asked to pray for me. He prayed a beautifully inarticulate prayer with his raspy broken voice,

“Matt, I pray you will not do drugs like I have. I pray your children love you and accept you. I pray your woman will love you and stay with you. I pray that you have a home, job, and food. I thank you for not being scared of me and talking to me. I pray that we can see each other again.”

Did you see it? He prayed that I wouldn’t be him. Pity turned to grace. It was his grace for me.

So here are Matt’s questions for today. How can a man I knew for 20 minutes pray the most sincere prayer for me? Can the pride that sequesters us to insincerity (we are all guilty) be broken in normal life circumstances?

Hey Matt,

I have been thinking about this a lot. I think the answer to the first question and second are the same.

Pride.

You and I still have lots of it. Brett doesn’t. Brett has nothing to “protect”. His image was not damaged by being real with you. He was not the least bit concerned that you would think he was a failure. He admitted that. Brett did not need to impress you and win your favor. You had extended grace yourself by giving him time and attention. How sad is it that a man created in the image of God thanks you for not being scared of him and for simply talking to him. You made me realize how I too often choose the safe route.

Part two of your questions is the tough one to address. Can that pride that causes us to be so phony be overcome in normal life circumstances? I wish I could say yes and give you 3 easy steps to conquer pride. But I have to be honest with you. This will be a lifetime project. I have gotten better at allowing the Holy Spirit to gain control of my pride. But I still take back control at times. Why? Because I do have things to “protect”. I want you to think I am smart, successful, a good husband, a good Dad, a good Christian. The truth is I am all of those things some of the time but definitely not all of the time. And why is that such a problem to admit?

Pride.

G.K.Chesterton once said, “If I had only one sermon to preach it would be a sermon against pride.” Powerful. Because Chesterton was a man with a lot of insight on a number of issues. We foolishly take ownership and control of things that we do not really own or control. The ultimate irony for control freaks is that they truly control nothing. One moment (like your Mom’s cancer diagnosis) causes your house of control cards to come tumbling down. We have no control. So we should remember daily that we are called to live our lives as “dual citizens” with both earthly and heavenly goals. As C.S.Lewis more eloquently stated…

“If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.”

I think when we have that perspective we have a chance to put things in perspective apart from a tragic life circumstance. Seeking a very intentional balance of eternal and temporal helps to keep you grounded. Homework assignment for you. Read Romans 12 everyday for a month. Maybe change translations each week to get a different feel and to keep it fresh. Memorizing that text for living would go a long way toward your goal of living an authentic and transparent life. Here is a little snippet from The Message…

Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.

I love the language. Don’t be “stuck-up” and don’t be the “great somebody”. I really dislike the “no cursing under your breath” part. That is such a great way to be a covert “Bad Christian”. Paul does understand our nature.

Focus on what matters. As you alluded to in your letter it is easy to get off course in those years when you are establishing your career. I did. But here is what I have figured out. You gain satisfaction from your career, from doing a good job, and from success in various endeavors. But you gain joy from relationships. The most common verse on pride is likely Proverbs 16:18 about how pride goes before a fall. But earlier in Proverbs we read this truth.

Pride leads to disgrace,
      but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2  NLT

Matt, when I think of the Christians who I most admired, respected, and desired to emulate there was one common trait.

Humility.

That is not a popular word in this culture. But if you want to really pursue your goal of authentic relationships then seek to be humble and kind through the power of the Holy Spirit. You will fail at times. But if you stay sensitive to the gentle, quiet voice of the Holy Spirit and the not always so quiet and gentle voices of those who love you then you can succeed more often than not.  Your goal is a Godly and worthy goal. I will pray for you as you pursue it. Your thoughts?

Dad

 

 

Regular readers of the humble ramblings know that eldest Son Matt is an occasional contributor. Yesterday I posted his recent experience with a homeless man named Brett. At the end Matt posed some questions. In the interest of brevity (I know I am long-worded) I am taking one question at a time. Here is the first round and my response to one of his questions.

What will it take to shed off layers and layers of protective amour that guard my heart everyday?

Hey Matt,

When your Mom and I were dating three decades ago there was a popular book called Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am. The book was written by John Powell and he suggested that we are afraid that people will not like us if they know what we are really like, so we often assume poses to avoid being honest with them and ourselves. He identified different poses we assume to avoid showing who we really are as people. If I remember correctly I was a “clown” and “cynic”.

Not much has changed, huh?

So I went into marriage and my Christian journey as a husband determined to be real and not afraid to reveal who I was, warts and all. That lasted until the rehearsal dinner. I had built my entire facade on being funny, upbeat, and glib (okay…that is my scouting report) so I could not take the risk that I could be likeable apart from that act. So I kept the act going and it gradually damaged my marriage and my relationship with the Lord. Being a phony will tend to do that. Even though others thought I was okay I knew I should be placed on the “as-is” table. Damaged goods. No returns. I knew, they didn’t, and I felt like I had to keep it that way. That is an open door for Satan to mess with your mind and heart.

Because I lacked a college degree I felt like I had to “prove” that I was smart (like that is possible). So I worked too much. My lack of confidence led to defensiveness. I could not be wrong because that would make me look less intelligent and expose me as a fraud. Maybe people would then reexamine me. “Wait a minute…Dave has an ‘as-is’ sticker on him! He is damaged. Who let him in here?”

No one knew the internal struggle. I didn’t even tell your Mom about the lack of confidence and the wavering self-image. Instead I made sure that I made people laugh. Chris Rock noted that “comedy is the blues for people that can’t sing”. There is a lot of truth in that statement.

That is a little background to answer your first question. And here is what I have figured out.  

• Recognize that you are uniquely gifted with both strengths and weaknesses. I finally figured out that God has gifted me with some things I do well. Instead of worrying about what I can’t do I finally started asking God how He could use what I can do well for His glory.
  
• Remember that pride is, as C.S.Lewis beautifully described, the “anti-God state of mind”. Pride keeps us from being comfortable with revealing who we are. What if you think less of me? What if you laugh at me? Recognize that as the grating voice of pride. More on that to come in a later post.
  
• Recognize that every single person on this planet is limited in some way. Why should you be the one who is not? It is okay to let others know that you are not as strong in some areas. That makes you a member of the human race.
  
• Realize that Jesus has already penetrated the layers and layers of protective armor. He has seen you at your worst. He has seen the ugliest side of your heart and He has written a message on the cross. I love you just as you are. I forgive you just as you are. I accept you just as you are.
  
• Take the risk. I can’t promise that you will not experience someone who will see you in your raw and authentic state and turn away. That is their problem. The risk/reward factor is worth it. Because when your bride and few real friends see you as you are and still love you it is life changing. Being loved as we truly are is a earthly demonstration of grace.

Casting Crowns has a song called Stained Glass Masquerade.  The lyrics talk about how everyone at church seems so strong and the writer wonders if he is only one that is struggling. And then the question is asked. What would happen if I dared to let them see the truth?

Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Take the chance Matt. If you have found a real friend then the love of Jesus will be more than enough to make them stay. If they do not stay then you have learned a hard but valuable truth. They were not your friend. Those real relationships are possible. Those relationships are what make this journey special. You may have to take a couple of painful hits along the way when you drop the armor. But the man that God will mold out of that pain and honesty will be well worth it.

To be continued…

Dad