Charisa Stories

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  • Signs of the Times

    Signs of the Times

    My daughter-in-law Caroline runs an online sign business called Vine & Branches that features lots of creative, fun, and inspiring designs. Last week I checked in on the online store and received an unexpected blessing. Her latest designs touched my heart and seemed so appropriate for this season we are enduring.

    This is a hard time. Turn on the news and all you see is the threat of disease, disheartening discord, and heartbreaking violence. Fear seems to be the predominant emotion and the embers of that fear get stoked constantly by sensational reporting and angry social media.

    The first sign I saw in the store was a great reminder of God’s character and how trustworthy He is.

    I have been on this planet three score and seven years. Over and over and over I have seen God’s faithful hand during difficult times. I know from His Word that God is faithful to His children even in the darkest storm. The writer of Hebrews gives us a starting point to overcoming fear.

    Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. (Hebrews 10:23, NLT)

    He will keep His promise. We know the Author of the next chapter of our life. We know that God sees us as His beloved, adopted children. We can trust the next chapter when we remember His sovereign Hand is writing our story.

    The next sign reminded me of my ultimate hope and the reason followers of Jesus find victory even in the darkest storms.

    Even in this difficult season there is much beauty and goodness to be found in this world. I love life and I try to find sacred moments every day. But I sense in my spirit that there is something more. Something better that awaits someday.

    C.S. Lewis explained that longing in Mere Christianity.

    “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”

    I believe that. I have hope in the finished work of Christ no matter what my current situation might be.

    The final sign I noted was simple and profoundly true.

    Followers of Jesus have the comfort that God will redeem darkness with light and sadness with joy. Jesus was completely honest about the trials of this world and the hope He offered.

    “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NLT)

    Jesus didn’t come to flatten the curve on sin and death. He overcame it. That is why I can be hopeful when the world looks dark. And that is why I finish this musing referencing the sign I used in the title. Psalm 71:14 offers a way to focus on Him and not on our fear.

    “But I will hope continually
        and will praise you yet more and more.”

    I rarely use this space to endorse a product but I will make an exception this week. You can find beautifully crafted and inspiring signs at Vine & Branches that make wonderful gifts for the upcoming Christmas season or anytime.

  • “Trash Talking” in Community.

    “Trash Talking” in Community.

    Last week we moved out of the house that our family had called home for thirty years. We experienced a lot of love, laughter, and memories in that house. There was also a lot stuff. Tons and tons of stuff. My amazing wife Joni organized a multi-week campaign leading up to the move to decide what needed to be sold, donated, re-homed, or trashed. It was a daunting task.

    Last Wednesday marked the final day of Operation Downsize as we finished cleanup at the old house and moved a few things to temporary housing. Several people from our church small group came to help us finish up. At our home church, Waterbrook Bible Fellowship, we call these groups “Home Teams”. We wrapped up some final packing and loaded a few fragile items into friend’s vehicles to be transported.

    But one embarrassing problem remained. The trash overflowed the capacity of our trash container. The solution was surprising. Several of our friends volunteered to take a bag of trash home with them to dispose of.

    Later Joni commented about the day. “Our Home Team is amazing. They even took our trash.”

    My first thought was this was a very practical metaphor for what community should be. We all wish that we had people who would be willing to take on the “trash” in our lives willingly and without judgment. My friend John Lynch has a saying I have quoted so much I should pay him residuals.

    ““What if there was a place so safe that the worst of me could be known, and I would discover that I would not be loved less, but more In the telling of it?”

    Or to use our moving metaphor “what if there were a few people who knew I had more trash in my life than I could handle, but they were not disgusted or repelled but moved to take on that trash and help me get rid of it.”

    That is a room of grace where there is no condemnation. Joni and I have been a part of three different small groups that were transformational. They all had the following characteristics.

    1. Leave your politics on the porch. Most of us have strong convictions about political issues but these gatherings are about Jesus and how He relates to our journey together. Jesus spent zero time on politics except to tell the Pharisees to give Caesar his tax money.
    2. Make your gathering a safe place. Nothing shuts down trust more that sharing private things without permission. We make a rule that nothing is shared outside of our meeting without permission. That includes the sneaky Christian way of gossiping by sharing “prayer requests” out of “concern” for others. Get permission. Building that trust will help amazing things to happen.
    3. Learn each other’s stories. We make it a point to find out the life and spiritual journey each member of our group has taken. Hearing what a person has gone through in life will often change your heart attitude from judgment to deep admiration for their courage and resilience.

    God knows that we need others to make it through this often difficult journey. Scripture is full of exhortations about caring for and loving one another. Here are a couple of my favorites.

    Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25, NLT

    Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:13-15, NLT

    This passage in 1st John summarizes the why for living in community and loving others. We do it because Jesus first loved, served, and sacrificed for us.

    God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

    Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. 1 John 4:9-11, NLT

    All of us have excess trash in our lives. A lot of us are not quiet sure what to do with it. If we trust Jesus and others to help us with that trash you will find joy and liberty that you cannot imagine.

  • Time for a Family Conference!

    Time for a Family Conference!

    While our three sons were living under our roof there were five words that struck fear in their hearts.

    “Time for a family conference”.

    They knew that I was about to have a conversation with them and I was going to do most of the talking. I suspect they felt I was being punitive when I called for a conference. The truth is I was pursuing protective love and not punishment. Protective love sees a family dynamic that is hurting someone in the family and when one in the family is hurting all of us are hurting.

    When I see the current dynamics of my Christian family I wish I could call a family conference with a heart of protective love. I see social media posts from friends who identify with Jesus that are downright mean and ungraceful. Some repost things that are supposed to be funny but are disrespectful. Others repost sensational stories without verifying them. All of those actions dim the light of our witness.

    I totally understand that there are cultural trends that dismay followers of Jesus. I support standing up for the truth. But I am convicted more than ever that the only way to have an impact is to communicate that truth in love.

    I already know the push back from some readers. They remind me that Jesus got angry and even destructive when he overturned the tables in the Temple. Fair point. So I have compiled a brief survey to complete. Please check each statement that is true about you.

    _____ I have never sinned.

    _____ I know with 100 per cent accuracy the heart and motives of those I disagree with.

    If you can check both of those statements then I will happily grant you the “Jesus Exemption”. For the rest of us I would suggest that we concentrate more on following the words of Jesus.

    “Do to others as you would like them to do to you. If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that?” Luke 6:31

    Or maybe we should follow the example of Paul. He found himself in Athens surrounded by people that had to upset him. His strategy was brilliant and instructive for social media today. I wrote about it in When Bad Christians Happen to Good People.

    What if we decided to be a kinder and gentler culture warrior, fearlessly and boldly confronting the culture with a great and incomprehensible love? I can tell you in advance that the results would be mixed. Acts 17 documents the apostle Paul’s visit to the city of Athens, a city that caused him great distress (the Greek word, roughly translated, means “ticked off”) because the city was full of idols. Yet, instead of arguing with or maligning the Jews and God-fearing Greeks, he reasoned with them and others who came to listen. Paul was introducing them to some strange ideas, and they wanted to know more. Verse 21 notes that residents of Athens spent their time doing nothing but talking about and listening to the latest ideas. Their pastime could be considered an ancient version of our talk-radio format. I love what happens next. Paul met his audience where they were. He stood up and said, “Men of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious. For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship [notice no condemnation of the idols that Paul obviously found distasteful], I even found an altar with this inscription: to an unknown god. Now what you worship as something unknown I am going to proclaim to you” (verses 22-23).

    Brilliant! In broadcasting this is known as packaging your idea. You set up a common interest and then tease the audience with the coming payoff to keep them tuned in. But what if Paul and the early believers had approached Athens with some of the strategies we use today? Several believers would march throughout the marketplace defiantly holding up placards:

    “If you think you are stoic now, wait till the Lord returns!”

    “Hey, Epicureans…the party’s over!”

    What if Paul had stepped up and announced, “Repent, you pagan, godless sons of the devil, before you burn in a fiery hell. Take your idols and put them where the goddess of sunlight doesn’t shine.”

    I don’t think Paul would have had much of an audience, let alone success. When he finished speaking to the crowd in Athens, the Bible records the box score. It’s pretty much what you and I can expect when we sincerely and lovingly explain our faith. Some of them sneered. Some of them said, “We want to hear you again on this subject.” And a few “believed.” Paul endured all that he did for those who believed and those who wanted to hear more. He could not have enjoyed the sneers. While that response is not unexpected, it is never fun.

    The early church had no chance to “win” the culture war. Instead they built a community of believers that infiltrated the culture.

    Winning hearts almost always works by communicating the truth with grace and love. Truth communicated as law will harden hearts. Truth communicated with grace and love has a chance to soften and change them. To wit, I have never seen one single example of a person persuaded by a Facebook rant. I have seen hundreds hardened in their beliefs (right or wrong) by those tactics.

    Change happens when the God’s love breaks through the hurt and confusion of the past and shows the future hope of grace and forgiveness. I will buy you coffee if you can show when a change of heart happened by being harangued and called names. Change happens when the gentle and quiet voice of the Spirit touches a wounded heart. So my plea to my fellow followers of Jesus is to realize you represent Him when you proclaim your truths in the name of Jesus. If you can’t be graceful you might prayerfully consider removing the Jesus tags from your bio. I don’t say that to be mean. I am simply saying if you are representing Jesus you have this standard to follow.

    God blesses those who work for peace,
        for they will be called the children of God. Matthew 5:9

    And I might call in Paul for backup at my family conference.

    Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29

    Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. Colossians 4:6

    I know how easy it is to get riled up with internet threads. Remember who you represent and respond accordingly. Jesus makes it clear.

    A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart. Luke 6:45

    All followers of Jesus need to prayerfully examine our hearts before we hit send.

  • What Would My Last Message Be?

    What Would My Last Message Be?

    I only knew W.T. Johnston for a year and a half while writing Between the White Lines but his impact on my life has been remarkable. He knew his time was limited by an incurable lung disease. I remember expressing my sadness for his prognosis. W.T.’s response still amazes me.

    “I have been given a great gift. A lot of people don’t have a chance to see how their life mattered and to say what they need to say to others.”

    His post-game message after the nationally televised state title game has been seen by millions.

    I don’t know how much time is left on my life odometer. It could be 30 years. It could be 30 days. I spent some time this week wondering what my message would be if I knew my time was limited. I think it would look something like this.

    Love your wife.

    Most of us repeated something like this on our wedding day.

    I, (Guy in Hideous Tux), take you (What Were You Thinking Beautiful Bride), to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

    One of my last messages to young men and women would be to take those vows seriously. The word cherish is a word that guys don’t use much but it is one we should look up and learn the meaning. Dictionary.com defines it simply. To treat with affection and tenderness; hold dear. I wish I had cherished my wife more consistently over the years. I do plan to finish strong.

    Love your children.

    I would tell parents to love their children for who they are and not what you had hoped to produce. Affirm them with love for who they actually are and the gifts God gave them. I hate disingenuous praise. Every child is gifted in some areas and not so much in others. Tell them how they are special. Tell them when you are proud of them. Tell them you love them. Let them be kids now and then. Let them get dirty and break things once in a while. It’s okay. They are kids. It is no reflection on you that they are not perfect.

    Love your friends.

    I would want my last message to encourage people to make friends and not just acquaintances. When I see people who don’t have a good friend I feel really sad for them. A person with good friends is never poor. Solomon knew that a real friend loves you no matter what happens. He wrote these words in Proverbs. There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

    Love your life.

    Sure life is hard. For some life is really hard. But we do have a choice in how we play the cards dealt to us. Read stories about those who play their difficult life cards well. And pray for the strength to choose that strategy. It is a choice.

    Love to laugh.

    Everyone who knows me at all knows that I love to laugh and enjoy my time on the planet. I have adopted the philosophy that if an embarrassing moment is going to be funny in a year you might as well start laughing today. Learn to laugh at yourself. Laugh with your spouse and your kids and your friends. Laugh often and long.

    Love to serve and give.

    The happiest people I know are those who give their lives away. It is so counter-intuitive to the messages we are bombarded with every day. I would probably work in a little bit from Philippians 2, Colossians 3 and Romans 12.

    Love grace.

    I would encourage everyone to memorize Paul’s message to the Ephesian Church.

    God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:8-9

    There was NOTHING I could do to earn salvation. It was all because of Jesus and the Cross. I brought nothing to the table but my sin. Jesus did all the work. On the day I believed I became a new creation. Forgiven. A saint because of Christ. And God set me on a course to do the work He had planned before I was born. I would encourage everyone to always err on the side of grace. We give grace knowing that someday soon we will need to receive it.

    Love today.

    I think Satan’s strategy is devastating simple and effective. Cause us to live in regret of the past and fear of the future and that will rob us of the joy of today. Find something to love in each day. Every day has sacred moments. Look for them.

    Love learning.

    I had some bad teaching in my early journey with Jesus but I have never stopped learning and pursuing the truth and what it means to be a disciple of Christ. I love to learn. About God, about life, about everything.

    Love Jesus.

    Because God became flesh I can relate to a Savior that understands the frailties of my flesh. Because the Creator understands His creation I can be sure that God understands my pain, frustration and loneliness. It is difficult for me to relate to an invisible God. That is the miracle of God becoming man. I can relate to Jesus because He has walked in my sandals.  That is the sovereign genius of the incarnation. We can relate to God in flesh in a way that is different. When I suffer I know that Jesus understands. He has been there. When I am lonely or feeling betrayed I can know (in my finite ability) that He understands. When I am joyful and laughing He understands. By becoming like me I can believe that Jesus can empathize with me on a different level. Because I know He gets it then I also get it. God loves me and Jesus has my back.

    My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.   (I John 2)

    Jesus is a friend who never leaves you. Never condemns you. Jesus loved you enough to suffer the Cross. He is the one friend who will not let you down. Accept His forgiveness and redemptive grace today. I think that would be my closing argument.

  • Is Coming Together an Impossible Dream?

    Is Coming Together an Impossible Dream?

    An anthem from my youth came on satellite radio today. The Youngbloods recorded “Get Together” in 1967 and it became one of the quintessential peace songs of the era.

    I remember listening to a staticky AM transistor radio while singing along with The Youngbloods. I was sure that my generation could make a difference. We would fix the mess that my parents and grandparents had made. We believed peace was possible. We just had to get together. This would be easy enough. Just love one another. Everybody sing now…

    C’mon people now,
    Smile on your brother
    Ev’rybody get together
    Try and love one another right now 

    Nice words. The problem was contained in the last line of lyric above. Try and love one another right now. How is that working out for our peace loving generation? Not so well. It is far easier to sing about loving one another than it is to actually love another. No matter how much I “try” I seem to fail miserably when I determine that I will, in my own strength, love others. It is easy to love some people. But loving the unlovable is the challenge. On that count we have not done so well. Jesus pointed out my hypocrisy on that count.

    • If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. (Matthew 5:46-47, NLT)

    As an idealistic teen I believed that more education, communication, and edification would change the world. I believed that the problem was not sin. The problem was a lack of knowledge. I was wrong. The problem is sin. Education and communication certainly help. But real change comes from the inside out. And for me that came from the most amazing revolutionary in history, Jesus Christ. How we have marginalized the powerful teachings of Jesus. He bluntly said that peace was not going to be found in this life.

    • “But the time is coming–in fact, it is already here–when you will be scattered, each one going his own way, leaving me alone. Yet I am not alone because the Father is with me. I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”   (John 16, NLT)

    Jesus said the Holy Spirit would comfort us in times of trouble and that the peace the world advocates would fall short.

    • “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  (John 14, NLT)

    I watch the news and my heart aches. I wish we could have peace on earth but I have come to believe that is not possible through human institutions. I truly wish it were possible.

    It is not in my trying that we can get together. It is by trusting God and allowing Him to love me. When I understand how much I am loved then I can love others. Only then can we truly love one another and maybe, just maybe, we can get together and share that love.

    My book about the remarkable life of Coach W.T. Johnston is available now! I hope you will read and share his inspiring story.

  • Looking for Hope in all the Wrong Places?

    Looking for Hope in all the Wrong Places?

    A song by Joe South reflected my teenage disdain for those in power who seemed to not care a whit about the regular folk. I check the comments of young adults today and I realize that not much, if anything, has changed since this song was recorded in the turbulent late 60’s.

    “The Games People Play” was recorded by Joe South and here are the first two stanzas.

    Oh the games people play now
    Every night and every day now
    Never meaning what they say now
    Never saying what they mean

    And they wile away the hours
    In their ivory towers
    Till they’re covered up with flowers
    In the back of a black limousine

    I have to admit that a bit of the anger and power of the protest was diminished with this hard-hitting chorus.

    La-da da da da da da da
    La-da da da da da de
    Talking ’bout you and me
    And the games people play

    Hard to gin up a lot of “in your face” intensity and passion when you are singing “la-da-da-da-da-da-da”.

    I see the same anger directed at my generation (pretty much deserved) that we felt toward my parent’s.

    We thought that hope would be realized with the right leader or a political party. We believed that change would come because of kindred politicians or better laws or courts that would establish justice as we saw it. We thought that the right leader would make sure that we educated every child no matter their circumstance. We hoped that this political savior would provide for the needs of every person at no cost to them. We were wrong by placing that hope on the government without putting responsibility on ourselves. Changed hearts change culture.

    The word hope is used about 80 times in the New Testament. The first appearance of the word in the NIV translation pretty much lays out my belief that my hope is not found in the houses of power.

    “In his name (Jesus) the nations will put their hope.” (Matthew 12, NIV)

    Paul wrote about the hope that I have in his letter to the Romans.

    I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13, NIV)

    The second chorus of South’s tune has a real pearl of wisdom.

    God grant me the serenity
    To remember who I am

    That is what I have learned since I was the angry young man hellbent on changing the establishment. I remember who I am. I am a follower of Jesus. A child of God. A servant who is humbled by His amazing grace. I am changed because of Christ. I have hope that is real. I have peace that transcends circumstance. When I keep my eyes on Jesus, I maintain a better perspective on every area of my life. You do that by remembering what really matters.

    Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and He lives in all of us. (Colossians 3:10-11, NLT)

    I remember a campfire song from the Jesus movement that was, to borrow the approach of Law and Order, “ripped” from the Gospel of Matthew. (Matthew 6:33)

    Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
    and all these things shall be added unto you.
    Allelu, alleluia

    Who (or what) are you centering your hope on today? Hope grows when you seek Jesus and rest in His Righteousness. Nothing else makes sense.

  • The Cancel Culture and Grace

    The Cancel Culture and Grace

    Cancel used to be a fairly straight forward transaction. You canceled a reservation to dinner. Your flight was cancelled. Now cancel can mean your reputation and very career can be ruined if you offer an opinion that is controversial or unacceptable in the crazy court of social media. The normal sentence is shaming the person who dared offer some thought counter to the prevailing cultural trends. I understand pushing back against hateful stereotypes and name calling. That needs to be called out. But more and more this technique is being used to silence the heartfelt convictions of people who simply have a different world view.

    Questioning a cultural trend now results in public shaming, bullying, and harassment.

    I loathe the strategy of organized shaming to silence speech and cultural discourse. One of my personal hypocrisy tests is to examine my own propensity to “cancel” others that I don’t agree with. I might not launch an online attack but the reality is that refusing to entertain the viewpoints of others can effectively cancel them in your own heart.

    Sadly the church was canceling before canceling was cool. I grew up being taught that if you did not hold a particular doctrine you were not a real Christian. You were “canceled” from fellowship. If you partook in activities that were not sanctioned by the denominational rulebook you were canceled. These rules often were not biblical. They were man made convictions that had nothing to do with the redemptive work of Jesus. For example, our church said we couldn’t go bowling because alcohol was served at the bowling alley. These kind of legalistic rules became as important to some in the church as actual Biblical teachings about forgiveness, serving one another, and loving your neighbor. The result of a “rules religion” is brilliantly summarized by Tim Keller in his book Prodigal God.

    “We tend to draw conservative, buttoned-down, moralistic people. The licentious and liberated or the broken and marginal avoid church. That can only mean one thing. If the preaching of our ministers and the practice of our parishioners do not have the same effect on people that Jesus had, then we must not be declaring the same message that Jesus did.”

    Our culture says you have to act correctly and you will be loved. Jesus said you are loved no matter what you have said or done. The culture says clean up your act and you will be forgiven. Jesus says you can be forgiven by simply accepting His gift of grace and redemption with no clean up required. It is one hundred percent His work on the Cross and nothing that you or I bring to the table.

    A song by one of my favorite artists, Andrew Peterson, reminds me of the mystery of grace. Peterson beautifully illustrates that I am like every sinner who ever lived or will live. Peterson’s lyrics hit home and remind me that I am saved by grace alone. I was a sinner in need of a Savior. Andrew Peterson’s lyrics describe it well.

    I am the woman at the well, I am the harlot
    I am the scattered seed that fell along the path
    I am the son who ran away
    I am the bitter son who stayed

    I am the angry men who came to stone the lover
    I am the woman there ashamed before the crowd
    I am the leper who gave thanks
    I am the nine who never came

    Paul tells us that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. I used to feel superior to those who violated my denomination’s “Top 10 list of things not to do if you are a real Christian”. But I came to realize that having less repulsive sins on my resume than someone else only mattered to my miserable band of legalists. I still fell short.

    I have come to understand why legalism is so much easier than grace. Legalism allows me to assess the situation and then apply a verse or assign a task. If that person rejects that Biblical admonition or task then legalism allows me to withdraw because they are disobedient. Grace does not give me that option. Grace demands that I move toward the struggle of my brother or sister and not away in judgment. No wonder grace is a tough sell.

    A quote by Pastor Paul Donnan says it far better than I ever could.

    Grace doesn’t treat us better than we deserve. It treats us without the slightest reference to what we deserve. Grace ceases to be grace if God withdraws it upon any human failure. If Grace is in any way tied to something you do, then it is no longer a gift but a wage, and that’s not grace.

    Grace does not “cancel”. Grace does not shame. Grace does not answer anger with anger. That person is likely crying out of pain and deep wounding. Perhaps a gentle answer will give hope. Grace does not lash out when wronged. Grace is kind and gentle.

    Being graceful is a pain in the hind regions but it is what we are called to offer to others. Paul addresses this to the church at Colossae.

    You have died with Christ, and he has set you free from the spiritual powers of this world. So why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires. (Colossians 2:20-23)

    It is time for followers of Christ to quit canceling one another over issues that don’t mean squat to those who desperately need to hear the good news of the Gospel. Hurting souls don’t care about our denominational divides. They need Jesus. It is time to focus on the One who unites us instead of the things that divide us. We need to focus on becoming a light in this terrible darkness. There are so many hurting and sad people who want our message of hope in Christ to be true. Why would they examine our faith if the church can’t be united as followers of Jesus?

    One more thought from Paul.

    Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. (Colossians 4:5-6)

    Be kind to those who disagree and remember the words of author Alexander MacLaren. “Kindness makes a person attractive. If you would win the world, melt it, do not hammer it.”

    Don’t cancel others. Give grace. Forgive. Love one another. Be kind.

    Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. (Ephesians 4:15, NLT)