Charisa Stories

Tag: forgiveness

  • Can We Ban All Broad-Brushes?

    One of the things that I struggle with the most in our current cultural climate is the broad-brushing by all sides. What do I mean by that?

    If you disagree with someone’s faith or political opinion you automatically assign to them the worst values from the most extreme people proclaiming that message. Without knowing a single thing about their story, their heart, or their background we tend to throw down the gauntlet of judgment.

    A lot of Christians have been unfairly targeted recently. Some deserve to be called to accountability. I have never had a problem with being honest about how I and many other followers of Jesus often fall short of representing the grace and love of Jesus.

    That is just a fact. That doesn’t change who Jesus is.

    But one heartbreaking result is that the entire Christian faith is being dismissed and denigrated by a lot of people with social media influence.

    With just a bit of internet searching I can find example after example of failed followers of Jesus. What is harder to find are stories about the millions who serve selflessly every day and without being noticed. Why do so many people sacrifice willingly to help those who give them very little or even nothing in return?

    I know a standard answer is indoctrination as a child into this phony faith. That didn’t happen to me. I was not raised in the church as a child or brainwashed to believe. Another accusation is there is blind acceptance of faith without questioning. That is not my story either. I did a deep dive into my faith when I experienced doubts. I needed to see if I could stand firmly on what I believed. I can tell you there is intellectual depth in the Christian community that helped me sort through my questions with clarity and confidence.

    I will be honest and tell you it is hard to read some of the comments that strangers have made about my faith. It is harder still to read and hear them from people I know. But that is the reality of the spiritual battle that all followers of Jesus face.

    If it is true that there is an enemy who tries to destroy the claims of Christ then it makes total sense that the narrative he would push forward is entirely negative. The Enemy does not want the millions of stories of people making a difference capturing the limelight. That would illuminate the darkness of this fallen world with the hope of Jesus.

    So what should be our response to these attacks? Jesus made our response pretty clear.

    43 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. 46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even unbelievers do that.” (Matthew 5:43-47, NLT)

    When you have the opportunity to talk to someone who opposes your faith you should ask to hear their story. Why do they have such strong feelings against God? Did something or someone cause that reaction?

    It is amazing how hearing someone’s story can often soften your heart toward them. You have a much better understanding of why they react the way they do. And listening (really listening) can open a door to dialogue about your own journey and story. You will be acting as a true child of God.

    Occasionally I hear some kind things directed toward me. I am grateful for that but here is my honest response to those words. I might have some basic personality traits that were positive but I can say with 100% conviction that most of the things you like about me were cultivated, refined, and grown through the love of Jesus and the gentle teaching power of the Holy Spirit.

    Own your failures. We all fall short. I am careful not to communicate that my desire is for an unbeliever to stop living in a particular way or to quit a sin I abhor. My message is to really get to know Jesus. In the movie the Jesus Revolution a church welcomed in young men and women who were doing drugs and living a life that many in the congregation deemed decadent. If the message had been clean up your life and then you can be part of our community the revival would have stopped cold. Instead the message was come to know Jesus and let Him show you how to change how you live. That happened millions of times during that remarkable revival.

    It can still happen today. But I fear that God can not use me if I am busy broad brushing everyone I disagree with. I want to share His story without judging theirs. I am throwing away the broad-brush.

  • No Matter How Many Years We Live We’re Only Here for a Little While

    This life is just the warmup act for followers of Jesus. A classic tune from the Righteous Brothers reflects my hope.

    If you believe in forever,
    Then life is just a one-night stand.

    Those lyrics reminded me that even if you hit triple digits on the age odometer this journey is still an eternal blink of the eye. Your significance is not how long but how well you live your life. Not how much fame or money you gain but what you do with time you are given.

    This weekend a song popped up on satellite radio called “We’re Only Here for a Little While”. Billy Dean is singing about leaving a funeral and recognizing his need to slow down and enjoy the everyday blessings of life. He decides to become intentional about doing the things that matter instead of worrying and tweeting about things that don’t amount to a hill of beans in eternity. 

    Gonna hold who needs holdin’
    Mend what needs mendin’
    Walk what needs walkin’
    Though it means an extra mile
    Pray what needs prayin’
    Say what needs sayin’
    Cause we’re only here for a little while.   

    That is a pretty good to do list to live a life that makes a difference. Being present with those you love. Forgiving AND asking to be forgiven. Taking your journey with Jesus seriously. Understanding and practicing the power of prayer. Speaking the truth in grace and love. The last lyric is the one that is most fraught with danger. We often find it easy to say what we think needs to be said. It is such a difficult thing to speak truth into the life of someone who is determined to go their own way. Perhaps a gigantic how to clue is embedded in a verse from the Gospel of John.

    Now the Word became flesh and took up residence among us. We saw his glory—the glory of the one and only, full of grace and truth, who came from the Father. (John 1:14, NET)

    Jesus was full of grace and truth. Most of us are full of truth or we are full of some variation of that. I suspect in God’s wisdom, grace comes first because we have a far harder time communicating with grace. I am often willing to be “honest” and tell you where you are wrong. Doing that with grace and truth requires me to love you and to be vulnerable. Jesus modeled a perfectly balanced blend of grace and truth.

    That is my prayer as I engage those who have made mistakes and are suffering the consequences of those decisions. I pray that I will always present truth as a gift of grace from a loving God instead of performance demands in order to be acceptable to Him. The following principle is nearly always true.

    Truth presented as law hardens hearts. 
    Truth presented with grace changes hearts.

    When we meditate on the grace given to us as a free gift by our gracious God we can can begin to model Paul’s words to the church at Ephesus.

    Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. (Ephesians 4:15, NLT)

    Meditate on Paul’s words and remember we are only here for a little while. That would help us worry a little more about the things that matter for eternity. And focus on the One who can unite us.

  • Things I Can’t Afford to Forget

    I am always saddened by the all out sprint to judgement of people and institutions that make mistakes. It often seems the harshest comments come from people who ought to tap the brakes before they go there. These are folks that have made their own mistakes. Often they were offered second chances. My initial response was self-righteous indignation because, let’s be honest, I am good at that.

    Eventually the quiet voice of the Spirit reminds me that I have also been that guy who is quick to judge. I am that guy who tries to argue with God about forgiveness and whether someone “deserves” mercy. A little snippet from my book Stay addressed this very issue after Paul threw down an incredible statement to the Ephesian church.

    Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
    (Ephesians 4:32, NLT)

    That is a very tall order and one that is impossible to do without remembering how much I have been forgiven. If you say something nasty about me and ask for forgiveness, I will almost certainly grant it. If you do it again and ask forgiveness, I will probably forgive you. If you do the same thing again and ask forgiveness, I will most likely respond ungraciously and ask you to “prove” you are sorry.

    Yet that illustration is exactly what I do in my relationship with God every day. I have asked Him to forgive the same sin dozens, even hundreds of times. Still His Word tells me I am forgiven and He loves me just the same as the first time I confessed that sin. That is how God has forgiven me through Christ. I should respond accordingly, forgiving each and every offense out of profound gratitude. Do you see any way around the obvious command to forgive? Me either.

    Bottom line: we are commanded to forgive as we have been forgiven. Forgiveness may well be the missing ingredient to the healing of most relationships. Forgive the one who wounded you. Forgive yourself and seek forgiveness if you are the one who wounded. Perhaps your efforts will not result in reconciliation. That is sad but ultimately okay. What if the other person does not deserve to be forgiven? Consider Jesus as He looked down in agony from the cross.

    Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” And the soldiers gambled for his clothes by throwing dice. (Luke 23:34, NLT)

    I can say with complete confidence that I have not endured the level of wounds, betrayal, mocking, and abuse that Jesus experienced. Yet He could look at those evil perpetrators and ask His Father to forgive them. That gives me some perspective. Perhaps my situations are forgivable, with His help and only with His help.

    I have spent a lot of unhappy moments not enjoying the freedom the Lord intended because I did not want to forgive someone who hurt me. I grieve to think of how I have stubbornly refused to forgive others for real and/or perceived slights over the years. I can imagine Jesus looking at me with sadness (not condemnation) because I have not fully comprehended the magnitude of the debt that has been erased from my account because of Him. I can hear Him saying,

    “Dave, when you choose to hold onto bitterness, you shortchange yourself on joy and peace.”

    If I cannot forgive, I have forgotten or never comprehended how much I have been forgiven.

    Taken from Stay by Dave Burchett copyright © 2015. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.

    How quickly I forget. I forget how much I have been forgiven. I forget how much I am loved by Jesus. I forget that I am a brand new creation. I forget I am righteous because of the finished  work of Christ. I forget that there is no condemnation in Christ. I forget that I am a beloved child of God and He is for me. I forget that He has my back and He has me in His hand forever. I am forgetful.

    But thank God He does not forget His promises. More than anything I need to not forget that today.

  • How To Shine Your Light For Everyone To See

    How To Shine Your Light For Everyone To See

    Even in my rock and roll days I loved the music of Glen Campbell. His final gift before his death was a moving and deeply personal look at how Alzheimer’s affects a family in the documentary “I’ll Be Me”.  

    Glen Campbell

    One of my favorite Glen Campbell songs, “Try a Little Kindness”, is a message that we desperately need to hear and heed in our current societal climate.

    You got to try a little kindness
    Yes show a little kindness
    Just shine your light for everyone to see
    And if you try a little kindness
    Then you’ll overlook the blindness
    Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets

    I think it is fair to say that we have an abundance of narrow minded people loudly making their presence felt. People so narrow minded they could look through a peephole with both eyes. The lyrics of Try a Little Kindness seem like a simple and even naive sentiment. I would argue this little chorus is one of the most important and doable things that we as followers of Jesus can do to shine a little light. And we have been given that assignment by our Lord.

    “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.”

    Matthew 5:14-16, NLT

    I wrote a chapter about the power of kindness in my new book, Waking Up Slowly. Here is a brief portion of that chapter.

    The amazing thing about God’s grace is that He is not a God of a second chance. He is a God of chance after chance after chance ad infinitum. We are never outside God’s redeeming grace, no matter how much or how often we blow it.

    How is that even possible? We write off people after one or two offenses. How can God keep forgiving us after countless offenses? It doesn’t make sense. That is because grace does not make sense in our accounting system. So how does that work in our relationships with our community? The apostle Paul pulls it all together perfectly in his letter to the church in Ephesus:

    Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

    Ephesians 4:32, NLT

    Kindness should be contagious because the God of the universe has been kind to us. That is part and parcel of the love story of the gospel.

    Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

    Romans 2:4, NLT

    I used to be impressed by talent and prestige. Now I find that I am more impressed by kindness. Billy Graham observed how we all—especially children—benefit from a little kindness: “Often the only thing a child can remember about an adult in later years, when he or she is grown, is whether or not that person was kind.” I find that to be so true when I run down the list of adults from my childhood. I filter them by that very trait. They were either kind or unkind.

    Paul recognized the importance of this contagious gift in his instructions to the church at Colossae:

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

    Colossians 3:12-15, NLT

    I have often said that if the church lived according to those four verses alone, there would be a spiritual awakening in the land. If we simply loved one another as Jesus commanded we could spark a revival. That is my job as a follower of Christ.

    Frederick Buechner captured the idea brilliantly: “If you want to be holy, be kind.”

    (Excerpted from Waking Up Slowly with permission of Tyndale Publishing)

    Today I remember Glen Campbell by determining to follow his advice.

    If you see your brother standing by the road
    With a heavy load from the seeds he’s sowed
    And if you see your sister falling by the way
    Just stop and say, you’re going the wrong way

    Everyone of us can be kind. Give it a try. When you do your light will shine.

    One act of kindness would be to donate to the Alzheimer’s Association to help find a cure for this cruel disease.

  • Forgiveness Does Not Appear To Be An Option

    Forgiveness Does Not Appear To Be An Option

    I think forgiveness is the most challenging thing Jesus commands us to do. I have tried to argue with God about forgiveness and whether someone “deserves” mercy.

    Scripture can be so annoying sometimes. Paul threw down an incredible statement to the Ephesian church.

    Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
    (Ephesians 4:32, NLT)

    That is a very tall order and one that is impossible to do without remembering how much I have been forgiven. If you say something nasty about me and ask for forgiveness, I will almost certainly grant it. If you do it again and ask forgiveness, I will probably forgive you. If you do the same thing again and ask forgiveness, I will most likely respond ungraciously and ask you to “prove” you are sorry.

    Yet that illustration is exactly what I do in my relationship with God every day. I have asked Him to forgive the same sin dozens, even hundreds of times. Still His Word tells me I am forgiven and He loves me just the same as the first time I confessed that sin. That is how God has forgiven me through Christ. I should respond accordingly, forgiving each and every offense out of profound gratitude. Do you see any way around the obvious command to forgive? Me either.

    Bottom line: we are commanded to forgive as we have been forgiven. Forgiveness may well be the missing ingredient to the healing of most relationships. Forgive the one who wounded you. Forgive yourself and seek forgiveness if you are the one who wounded. Perhaps your efforts will not result in reconciliation. That is sad but ultimately okay. What if the other person does not deserve to be forgiven? Consider Jesus as He looked down in agony from the cross.

    Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” And the soldiers gambled for his clothes by throwing dice. (Luke 23:34, NLT)

    I can say with complete confidence that I have not endured the level of wounds, betrayal, mocking, and abuse that Jesus experienced. Yet He could look at those evil perpetrators and ask His Father to forgive them. That gives me some perspective. Perhaps my situations are forgivable, with His help and only with His help.

    I have spent a lot of unhappy moments not enjoying the freedom the Lord intended because I did not want to forgive someone who hurt me. I grieve to think of how I have stubbornly refused to forgive others for real and/or perceived slights over the years. I can imagine Jesus looking at me with sadness (not condemnation) because I have not fully comprehended the magnitude of the debt that has been erased from my account because of Him. I can hear Him saying,

    “Dave, when you choose to hold onto bitterness, you shortchange yourself on joy and peace.”

    If I cannot forgive, I have forgotten or never comprehended how much I have been forgiven.

    Taken from Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace.

    How quickly I forget. I forget how much I have been forgiven. I forget how much I am loved by Jesus. I forget that I am a brand new creation. I forget I am righteous because of the finished  work of Christ. I forget that there is no condemnation in Christ. I forget that I am a beloved child of God and He is for me. I forget that He has my back and He has me in His hand forever. I am forgetful.

    But thank God He does not forget His promises. More than anything I need to remember that today.

  • See You Later!

    See You Later!

    Just to clarify I am not planning on stopping my Monday Musings. I don’t want my tens of followers to be concerned. I wanted to explain in this week’s musing why I have adopted “see you later” whenever I leave the presence of a loved one. I might add “love you, see you later” to my departure. That phrase “see you later” became very intentional after a dear friend passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. When my friend died the loved ones in his life had no idea they would not have a chance to see him again in this life. Because of his deep and abundant faith his family and friends cherished the hope of seeing him again in Heaven.

    When I go to the memorial service for a follower of Jesus there is, of course, sadness. But every time I leave these services I am full of hope and peace that I will see them again. Paul wrote about this in his letter to the Thessalonians.

    And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. 14 For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, NLT

    What a difference it makes to have that hope of victory over death. Paul rejoiced in that hope with the Church at Corinth.

    But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:57)

    Without a doubt the death of a friend or family member leaves a deep sadness and earthly emptiness. It takes time for that to heal and the truth is it never heals one hundred percent. The hope of reuniting with them in eternity is one of the greatest comforts I have found.

    In the early 1970’s my three year old nephew Dean developed childhood leukemia. Our house was a halfway point between his home and Children’s Hospital so we spent a lot of days and nights together. I was incredibly close to Deanie.

    I remember visiting him at Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. He was not doing well but I still held out hope for healing. As I left Deanie looked at me from from his hospital bed and said, “See you later, Uncle Dave”. I got the news the within a couple of days that Deanie had gone to be with Jesus. I was devastated. Sad. Angry. Depressed. But over time those words begin to resonate.

    “See you later, Uncle Dave”.

    I began to find comfort and peace in those words and in that hope. I heard a wonderful testimony from a Christian woman here in Dallas. Alvanetta was the wife of a local high-school football coach named James Jones who died in 2001. Sympathizers told Alvanetta that they were sorry she had lost James. She smiled, looked at them, and said, “I didn’t lose him. I know exactly where he is.”

    I cannot imagine living without that hope. That hope should affect the way I live in a profound way. We live in world consumed by fear and especially the fear of death. That is not how Jesus wants us to live. Paul summarized it beautifully while addressing the Roman Church.

    If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. (Romans 14:8, NLT)

    God is in control. He loves me. My eternal hope in Him is secure. So I can say “see you later with great confidence” to my fellow followers of Jesus. To those who don’t share my hope in Christ I pray you will honestly examine the life and claims of Jesus. In Jesus I have found forgiveness, love, comfort, identity, and joy even in difficult circumstances. I hope you find that in your journey. I cannot describe the peace it gives me to believe it when I say “see you later”.

  • My Grown Up Christmas Wish Is Available To Everyone

    My Grown Up Christmas Wish Is Available To Everyone


    Amy Grant     recorded “My Grown-up Christmas List” for her “Home For Christmas” album. The lyrics imagine an adult going back to Santa with a different perspective on what matters most in life. Instead of material things the writer now asks for good things for others. I love the sentiment of the song.

    No more lives torn apart
    That wars would never start
    And time would heal all hearts
    Everyone would have a friend
    And right would always win
    And love would never end
    This is my grown-up Christmas list

    I thought about my “grown-up” Christmas list this week. I would love for all of the things in the lyric above to come true. But I have lived enough to know they will not. Everyday lives are torn apart. Wars start too frequently. Time does not heal every heart. Some who are reading this are lonely. Right seems to lose way too often and love ends for many.

    So what could I wish for that would be available for all? My grown-up Christmas list would have one simple wish. That every person would truly understand the outrageous grace gift that God offers to each one of us. All we have to do is open that gift in faith. Christmas is when the gift came to earth wrapped in swaddling clothes.

    I wish that everyone who hears the Gospel message would comprehend the one way love that God demonstrated. Instead of turning His back on sinners who deserved just that God chose to reach out to His creation with a radical plan for forgiveness. A plan that is unlike any other religion in history. Man made religion always demands something to earn salvation. God’s plan for redemption requires the lost to bring nothing to the table other than their sin and the need for salvation. Nothing.

    God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (Ephesians 2:8-9, NLT)

    Not a single requirement other than believing. A gift of grace. Grace that is so vast and inexhaustible that no sin or sinner can exceed the scope of this amazing grace to cover their sin and redeem them. I coined an acronym for grace that only partially captures the enormity of God’s love.

    God’s Radical And Complete Embrace.

    God initiates salvation. The plan is so radical that it feels otherworldly. Salvation is complete and God’s embrace shows His desire to know us as His beloved children.

    I wish that everyone who believes the Gospel would truly believe that they are a brand new creation. Recreated as a saint with complete freedom in Christ. Adopted as a child of God. Forgiven forever. And that all of those things are completely true because of Jesus.

    I wish I could give those things to everyone on my list. Life will give us sadness, loss and loneliness but trust in Jesus gives us hope in the darkest storm. It started with the baby we celebrate at Christmas. The gift of forgiveness and hope is available to everyone.