Charisa Stories

Tag: grace

21 Connect: Day 13 – Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Comparison is poison to the soul. I either contrast myself to someone doing something better than me and feel downcast, or I measure myself to someone failing and feel better.

Perhaps that is my cue to refer to the Instruction Manual again. Paul writes about this very problem that was happening in the church at Corinth:

Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant! (2 Corinthians 10:12)

Writer Ann Voskamp notes that we try to measure how we are doing with imperfect—and even dangerous—measuring sticks:

Measuring sticks try to rank some people as big and some people as small—
but we aren’t sizes. We are souls. There are no better people or worse people—there are only God-made souls. There is no point trying to size people up, no point trying to compare—because souls defy measuring.

At the beginning of my book Waking Up Slowly I quoted Psalm 139, detailing how God uniquely wove together each of our individual DNA to create the one and only me and the one and only you. He knew us before we were formed, and He has ordained our days. Paul unpacks that even more in Ephesians:

It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone. (Ephesians 1:11-12 , The Message)

I am not an accident. I have a purpose in God’s plan. I have a role in God’s overall purpose. And I have a specific calling as a gift of grace. Being content with who you are really is a heart issue grounded in the truth of who you are according to Scripture.

How I wish that I could see myself as God sees me. Because of what Christ did on my behalf, God sees me as a saint. Forgiven. Valuable. Needed. What I often see is the same old failure who can’t dance, fix anything, or live consistently for God.

We see those smiling families and couples on social media and think they
are experiencing some alternate life that has eluded us. I’m sorry to break the news, but there are no perfect people or perfect families.

My fear is that we have created a culture where we feel there is something wrong with us if we are hurting. If I am struggling, I must be doing something wrong spiritually. Shouldn’t God meet this need? What is wrong with me? The fact that God created me with a desire to be in community
tells me that part of His plan is for me to be helped by other members of the body of Christ. But I think I am falling short by comparing myself to false images of people who are not being real.

Anne Lamott weighs in with her typical, unvarnished
honesty:

“Everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy, and scared, even the people who seem to have it more or less together. They are much more like you than you would believe. So try not to compare your insides to their outsides.”

Being broken, clingy, scared, and screwed up is spiritual soil prep for the seed of grace to grow.

I am not sure if writer John Mason had a biblical worldview in mind when he came up with the title for his book “You’re Born an Original, Don’t Die a Copy”, but he is theologically spot on. We are uniquely and completely designed for our roles in the body of Christ. Don’t try to imitate another part. The biggest danger to missing our lines in the production
called life is comparison. Relax and be you. No one compares
to you!

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly.

April 1, 2020
21 Connect: Day 12 – Kindness is Contagious

The apostle Paul laid out the challenge for followers of Jesus in his letter to the church in Ephesus:

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

I used to be impressed by talent and prestige. Now I find that I am more impressed by kindness. Billy Graham observed how we all—especially children—benefit from a little kindness:

“Often the only thing a child can remember about an adult in later years, when he or she is grown, is whether or not that person was kind.”

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the sadness and problems around me. Sometimes I think it is a hopeless world we live in. But I can do something. I can be kind. Edward Everett Hale once said, “I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do.”

I am not trying to shovel guilt on you or myself. Maybe we should be more intentional about being the body of Christ, rather than relying on government programs to do our job for us. I want the grace that God has given me to make my heart sensitive toward the poor as well as toward hurting and spiritually seeking people. It is hard to spend much time in the New Testament and not realize our challenge to be the body of Christ. Here is a very small sample:

If anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 1 John 3:17 , ESV

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
James 2:14-17, ESV

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 , ESV

The charge of hypocrisy leveled at the church has a lot to do with our obsession with sin management over living a life of kindness, grace, and service. If I am not living out of grace, then Jesus’ arms aren’t reaching as far as they could through me. Kindness is clearly step one.

Kindness doesn’t require great skill or advanced degrees. I can be kind with a PhD or a GED. I do not have to like someone to be kind. I have to remember that kindness means disconnecting from devices, so I can actually see and react to those around me. Kindness is powerful. Kindness tears down walls. Kindness builds trust.

Kindness shows the love of Christ through my imperfect efforts. As a Christian, kindness gives those I encounter a reason to listen to my message of redemption and grace. In return, I will be changed, receiving the greater gift.

I think writer Alexander MacLaren summarized it beautifully:
“Kindness makes a person attractive. If you would win the world, melt it, do not hammer it.”

Kindness is contagious and that is something we should run toward and not distance from. Especially now.

Taken from Waking Up Slowly

March 31, 2020
21 Connect: Day 10 – Gratitude Rhymes with Attitude

Gratitude is a mind-set, and I am praying that the response of appreciation can become a lifestyle for me, with some practice. It is easy to be grateful for the good things. Accepting with thankfulness the bad and sorrowful takes faith and trust that God is faithful with His children. I cannot claim to be grateful until I can simply say thank you for everything that comes my way, recognizing that every event will bring joy, character, perseverance, or ultimately, glory to God.

Roman philosopher Cicero wrote that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” Hmmm. I can see how that plays out. I forgive others out of gratitude for my own forgiveness. I give grace because I am grateful I was offered grace when I did not merit that gift. I give to those less fortunate out of gratitude for my financial blessings. Cicero might have been on to something.

The psalmist knew the power of giving thanks for the blessings of life.

On your feet now—applaud God!
Bring a gift of laughter,
sing yourselves into his presence.
Know this: God is God, and God, God.
He made us; we didn’t make him.
We’re his people, his well-tended sheep.
Enter with the password: “Thank you!”
Make yourselves at home, talking praise.
Thank him. Worship him.
For God is sheer beauty, all-generous in love,
loyal always and ever.
P s a l m 1 0 0 : 1 – 5 , The Message

I got a chuckle thinking about having to log in to access God in prayer. Using the password “thank you” would be a pretty good way to prepare my heart, and a reminder every time to appreciate all of my blessings.

I know that some seasons of life are difficult, and some days you just hope to survive. But I think that the majority of us would admit that we can find something to be grateful for, even in moments of frustration. Gratitude is the stabilizer for my spiritual walk. I think I can make a pretty good case that growing a grateful heart is the foundational attitude of the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

It is that important. Gratitude keeps me from envy, if I can mentally pivot to the many things I am blessed to enjoy. Gratitude keeps me from anger, if I can be grateful for how patient God is with my myriad of shortcomings. Gratitude keeps me from frustration, when it reminds me how much worse things could be. I have programmed a trigger into my gratitude response.

When I start getting cranky about my back pain, I think of those who live in constant pain. I become grateful that my pain is not constant, and I am reminded to pray for them. A simple mind- set change can take me from self-pity to prayer for others. I am also being prompted to pray for anyone who makes me angry with his or her thoughtlessness or rudeness. What is hurting that person’s heart so much that the response is filled with such venom? Full disclosure . . . I am not there yet. But when I can respond with an attitude of gratitude, it is the most freeing feeling. Maybe that is the best way to be grateful consistently. When I get outside my little world and see the suffering and sadness around me, I fall to my knees in thanksgiving for how fortunate I am.

Do everything without complaining and
arguing, so that no one can criticize you.
Live clean, innocent lives as children of
God, shining like bright lights in a world
full of crooked and perverse people.
Philippians 2 : 14 – 15

March 29, 2020
21 Connect: Day 9 – Grudges Weigh You Down

Carrying a grudge is so easy to do. But I think this writer nails how counterproductive the practice really is.

To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.

William H. Walton

I think we can all agree that God is not honored when we hold grudges, especially against fellow believers. I can disagree with you, but unless the issue is heresy, I do not have permission to dismiss you. We need to iron it out and make up.

That is not the easiest path. My default response when I am wronged is usually sinful, and I take a little comfort that I am not unique. A couple of guys who were really close to Jesus had the same sinful response to bad behavior:

He sent messengers ahead to a Samaritan village to prepare for his arrival. But the people of the village did not welcome Jesus because he was on his way to Jerusalem. When James and John saw this, they said to Jesus, “Lord, should we call down fire from heaven to burn them up?” Luke 9:52-54

My response? You betcha! Fire! Bring it, Jesus! But what was His response?

Jesus turned and rebuked them. So they went on to another village. Luke 9:55-56

As much as my heart cries out for vindication and revenge, Jesus says no. You go on to the next village. You trust God. You forgive. This journey is hard because my sense of justice says that maybe they deserve fire from heaven. But it gets even tougher. Jesus says to forgive my enemies.

I resist with my well-rehearsed five-step program. Step one is to blame someone else. Step two is to vow not to back down and give in because, after all, I was wronged. Step three is to go into hiding and despair. Step four is to be too proud to lose the battle. Step five is to hang on to the grudge, even as the weight of that animosity crushes my spirit. That is an ugly little sequence, but it is a pattern I have repeated far too many times in my journey. I imagine Jesus’ heart is saddened by my stubborn refusal to consider His forgiveness extended to me and, consequently, my refusal to lean on His power to forgive.

There is fear on that road to forgiveness, when I take my eyes off of Christ. My heart cries out in protest. What if they reject, scoff, or take advantage of my forgiveness? Jesus reminds me gently that He understands. And it is the right thing to do, no matter how the other party responds.

Sometimes truth is irritating.

When I break those chains and allow God to heal my heart, the weight of the world is lifted off my soul. Sadly, too often, it is the road less taken. But it is the path that will make a difference in my (and your) journey with Jesus.

I love these principles of Christian living, often attributed to St. Augustine:

“In essentials, Unity. In non-essentials, Liberty. In everything, Love.”

What would the impact of the gospel be if the body of Christ lived by that simple little credo? Satan knows all too well how a world that is shown God’s real love and grace would respond. So the enemy reminds me of grudges both real and enhanced. I turn from forgiveness because I convince myself that my offender does not deserve it. I conveniently forget that I did not deserve forgiveness either. There is no way I have found to release those grudges without the healing power of forgiveness. Author Will Davis Jr. explains:

Once you decide to forgive, you initiate the healing process. Forgiveness gives your soul permission to move on to the higher and healthier ground of emotional recovery. Forgiveness is to your soul what
antibiotics are to infection. It is the curative agent that will help to fully restore your soul. It doesn’t immediately remove the pain of the offense but it does start you on the road to recovery.

I really like that perspective. The decision to forgive initiates but does not complete healing. You and I will, in time, heal. But we will never get there without taking the first step of faith. Would you decide to lighten your load today and give up the grudge?

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly.

March 28, 2020
21 Connect: Day 7 – This Crisis Can Teach us the Wisdom of Sabbath

On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all his work of creation.
Genesis 2:2-3, NLT

God did not need to rest. He was modeling for His creation that we need to slow down and relax. Think of that. The God of Creation can kick back and enjoy what has been accomplished. Our Creator is telling us that we are creatures and not machines. What is wrong with us that we cannot take moments to enjoy and appreciate both our gifts of grace and the work of our hands?

God understood that the body, mind, and spirit need rest and refueling time. Our culture has lost that instinct and ability to give ourselves permission to rest. Now a worldwide pandemic has forced many of us to slow down. For some it has been a maddening and boring time. For others it has been a revelation of how our busy lives have caused us to forget the simple and sacred moments of daily living.

Jesus demonstrated that the command for Sabbath observance was not about following a hyperlegalistic rule. It was about taking the time to get over ourselves and see what God is doing. Remember this encounter with the Sabbath police?

One Sabbath, Jesus was strolling with his disciples
through a field of ripe grain. Hungry, the disciples were
pulling off the heads of grain and munching on them.
Some Pharisees reported them to Jesus: “Your disciples
are breaking the Sabbath rules!”
Jesus said, “Really? Didn’t you ever read what David
and his companions did when they were hungry, how
they entered the sanctuary and ate fresh bread off the
altar, bread that no one but priests were allowed to
eat? And didn’t you ever read in God’s Law that priests
carrying out their Temple duties break Sabbath rules
all the time and it’s not held against them?
“There is far more at stake here than religion. If
you had any idea what this Scripture meant‘
I prefer a flexible heart to an inflexible ritual’— you wouldn’t be nitpicking like this. The Son of Man is no lackey to
the Sabbath; he’s in charge.”
Matthew 1 2 : 1 – 8 , The Message

While I am reasonably sure that Jesus did not say “lackey” to the Pharisees, it sure is fun to think about. But the point is that the heart of Sabbath is not rule keeping. It is resting in the One who is our Sabbath. I can acknowledge that God has this under control and He can get by just fine without my assistance for a few hours. Writer Wendell Berry captured the spirit of letting go of my need to control every moment:

“Sabbath observance invites us to stop. It invites us to rest.
It asks us to notice that while we rest the world continues
without our help. It invites us to find delight in the world’s
beauty and abundance.”

The world gets along just fine without my help. That is disappointing and liberating at the same time. Noted author Dallas Willard, who possessed a far bigger brain than I have, says this about the fourth commandment:

“The command is ‘Do no work.’ Just make space. Attend to
what is around you. Learn that you don’t have to do to be.
Accept the grace of doing nothing. Stay with it until you stop
jerking and squirming.”

Accept the grace of doing nothing. I love that thought. I failed to recognize how innocuous and mundane little activities add up, draining my life battery.

Sabbath truly is vital to our very well-being. It can be an oasis in the desert of busy living. God does not ordinarily clamor for my attention. He waits quietly for me to show up, be still, and spend time with Him. I don’t do that often enough.

This time of rest might have been forced upon us but we would do well to learn the lessons of reflection, time, and worship. Things will return to busy soon. Let’s not forget the sacred value of Sabbath.

March 26, 2020
Connect 21: Day 5 Receiving the Gift of Grace

Today’s chapter from Waking Up Slowly is about our reluctance to receive the gift of grace. This 21 day journey explores the actions and attitudes that drive us away from God. One of those is refusing to accept that our salvation, sanctification, and satisfaction are all about what God has done and not about our own self-efforts.

As a follower of Christ, I have everything I need to be content. Yet I wander, looking for something new or the latest trend in the church. What I was looking for in every book, program, study, and event was the sweet gospel of unconditional love, unmerited forgiveness, and complete acceptance. I was looking for grace.

This line from poet Nancy Spiegelberg may be the most indicting summary
of the grace I misunderstood for decades: “Lord, I crawled across the barrenness to You with my empty cup uncertain in asking any small drop of refreshment. If only I had known You better I’d have come running with a bucket.”

I am indeed awakening to the mystery, the majesty, and the unquenchable supply of grace given to me each moment.

Grace.

It is a word that has lost its power through misuse and overuse. Fearful grace objectors banter about the ridiculous concept of cheap grace as if I must be wary of receiving a gift from my Father in heaven. Are you kidding me? If I view grace like a sales pitch for a time-share resort, I am listening to the wrong voices. There are no strings attached with grace. No fine print. No hidden costs. No promises to lure me in that have not already and forever been fully delivered. Grace gives me full title to the resort and all the first-class amenities.

Grace.

So God comes along with a redemption plan so radical that we have a hard time believing it could be true. This is what I almost always hear when I share God’s grace with unbelievers or fellow recovering legalists.
“Is this true?”
“Yes, it is,” I affirm.
The follow-up question is the same one I asked when I first heard the grace message.
“Why haven’t I heard this before?”
To be completely honest, I had heard versions of that message over my first few decades of faith.

Thank God I finally understood that I could not do it myself. I could not earn my way to righteousness. And more importantly, I finally understood that this was the best news ever. I could quit flailing and start trusting God’s
gift of grace.

You don’t have to do anything but believe. Radical. Crazy.

Grace

GOD’S TAKE
God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for
this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (Ephesians 2 : 8 – 9)

A DOSE OF GRACE
Grace is by definition an undeserved gift. Look for people in your life to whom you can give this gift of acceptance, love, forgiveness, and kindness today. Don’t expect reciprocity when you give grace. This is such an important piece to connect more with God and others. Accept His grace as a wonderful gift, and feel free to regift it over and over again.

Excerpts are from Waking Up Slowly. Check it our here.

March 24, 2020
21 Connect: Day 4 – The Owner’s Manual

Today’s chapter examines the role of the Bible in our culture and how there is a movement to diminish the importance of Scripture. Many are quick to find ways that unloving and graceless misapplications of biblical texts have done harm, while dismissing the incredible positive impact this same book has had on history. Commandments against murder, stealing, and lying are the basis of our legal system. The teachings of Jesus lived out by His early followers radically changed the status of women and children. Biblical stories and characters flow throughout great literature and art. Much of the true humanitarian work in medicine was born out of biblical conviction.
Pastor Tim Keller had this insight about Scripture.

If the Bible really was the revelation of God, and therefore it wasn’t the product of any one culture, wouldn’t it contradict every culture at some point? Therefore, if it’s really from God, wouldn’t it have to offend your cultural sensibilities at some point? Yes, it should. If the Bible is the revelation of God, then it follows that this volume contains insights into my spiritual and emotional DNA that only the Designer can fully explain.

Tim Keller

An engineer can look at a design problem and provide a solution. He or she designed the product and knows where the problem exists and how the solution can be implemented. A software designer can look into the code and find the offending bug that wreaks havoc. The designer knows how the program works. I believe that to be true about my design. God knows how my software is written and how to keep it virus free and functioning normally. I capitulate that “normal” may look a little different for me than it does for you, but that is my design.

Psalm 139 was part of the beginning premise of this book. In that text David writes about how we are formed. Keep in mind that he wrote about the miracle of conception and life centuries before sonograms and the advanced knowledge of DNA:

You watched me as I was being formed in utter
seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
Psalm 139:15

Look at the language that David uses when he writes about how life is formed in the womb, using a word that the ESV translates as “intricately woven.” The Hebrew word can be translated to variegate, which means to weave with multicolored threads. The word suggests the complex patterns and colors implemented by an embroiderer.

David could not have used a more apt illustration for the complex beginning of life than the handiwork of an embroiderer.

According to Carl Sagan, a single human chromosome (a DNA molecule) contains 20 billion bits of information. But what does that mean? What if all this information were written in an ordinary book in contemporary language?

Twenty billion bits are comparable to about 3 billion letters. If there are roughly 6 letters in the average word, the information contained in a single human chromosome is equivalent to about 500 million words. The average page of printed text contains approximately 300 words, which translates to
roughly 2 million pages. Assuming the average book contains 500 or so pages, the information contained in a single human chromosome adds up to more than 4,000 volumes.

Sagan goes on to conclude, “It is clear, then, that the sequence of rungs on our DNA ladders represents an enormous library of information. It is equally clear that so rich a library is required to specify as exquisitely constructed and intricately functioning an object as a human being.”

By the way, Carl Sagan was an astronomer and atheist, and he believed this all happened by chance. And yet that same information led former atheist Francis Collins to come to faith in Jesus as he studied the human
genome.

As the director of the Human Genome Project, I have led a consortium of scientists to read out the 3.1 billion letters of the human genome, our own DNA instruction book. As a believer, I see DNA, the information molecule of all living things, as God’s language, and the elegance and complexity of our own bodies and the rest of nature as a reflection of God’s plan.
Francis Collins

For me, I have found that no volume addresses the most fundamental questions of humankind as completely as the Bible.

Why am I here?
Do I have a purpose?
Is there anything after death?
Is there a God?
Can I know God personally?
Is God a loving or vindictive force?
Why is there pain and suffering if God is loving?
How can I find happiness?

These questions are honestly examined in the Bible, through words and interactions in the stories of the people struggling with those same imponderables. People like you and me. The Bible does not sugarcoat the failings of the most revered biblical figures—it honestly explores evil, sin, consequences, suffering, and pain. It sets forth the basis for true justice for the poor and oppressed, something that people still seek today. I have found principles for success in marriage, parenting, work, leadership, and friendship. I see hope for the future when others say it looks bleak. I realize salvation requires nothing to be sacrificed, other than my unwillingness
to confess my need. Today I will meditate on this verse.

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.
2 Timothy 3:16

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly.

I welcome your comments, thoughts, questions, concerns, and praises. Let’s talk!

March 23, 2020