Charisa Stories

Tag: grace

21 Connect: Day 16 – Get Over Yourself

Valuing everyone is how Jesus lived. He modeled that with women, children, people with physical and mental challenges, lepers, social outcasts, and sinners. He served the weak and loved the unloved. He created the template for how the New Testament church should look if it functions biblically.

How did the early church explode and multiply against all odds? By serving selflessly, recklessly, and fearlessly. There was nothing comfortable about spreading the news about Jesus in the days, months, and years after His resurrection.

The apostles understood after the Cross what Jesus had been trying to tell them earlier. That the world measures greatness on an entirely different scale from the one that God uses. Remember that debate among the apostles? They had the criteria for greatness completely wrong.

They began to argue among themselves about who would be the greatest among them. Jesus told them, “In this world the kings and great men lord it over their people, yet they are called ‘friends of the people.’But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. Who is more important, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course. But not here! For I am among you as one who serves.” Luke 22:24-27

The best way to take your eyes off your own circumstances is to serve others. Even as Jesus faced the horror of the Cross, He was serving others. Martin Luther King Jr. said it well: “Everybody can be great . . . because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”

Every person in the body of Christ can serve in some way. It may be running errands for a seasoned citizen who can no longer drive. It may be babysitting for a harried young mom. It may be providing a meal to a family dealing with illness. It may be calling or visiting a lonely person. Sometimes listening is one of the greatest ways to serve others. Maybe one subtle way to serve is simply appreciating those people whom you work and live with in community.

The Carrot Principle, a book by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton, determined that appreciation might well be the missing accelerator for happiness and self-esteem. Based on a ten-year study in which two hundred thousand people were interviewed, the authors conclude that appreciation tops the list of things employees say they want from their bosses. For those who worked in offices with high morale, an amazing 94 percent reported that they were shown appreciation. Not surprisingly, when employees quit, nearly 80 percent cited lack of appreciation as the number one reason.

We have a fundamental need to be affirmed. The authors of The Carrot Principle were surprised at how sparingly this blessing is given to others. I suspect it is often in short supply in our faith communities as well. That is a wonderful way you can serve others. Simply affirm and bless them in their gifts and skills.

Serving can be the smallest gesture, or it can be a selfless response to a crisis. I absolutely love the slogan that the Salvation Army has been using recently: “We combat natural disasters with Acts of God.” That is a powerful thought. We as the body of Christ commit “acts of God” by loving, helping, and healing those who suffer from a disaster, or sometimes just from life. My insurance policy outlines “acts of God” as a way to diminish liability. My understanding of God’s Word is that we have increased liability when others need help.

I pray that I will be willing to commit an “act of God” whenever I see a hurting person. When a student is struggling and needs mentoring, you can commit an “act of God.” When a family does not have money during this financial crisis, your “act of God” will make the difference. When someone is feeling blue, you can affirm and lift that person’s spirits by simply being present and caring. Jesus taught that these things we do are acts for God.

The king will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty
and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.” Then the righteous will answer Him, “Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed you, or thirsty, and give You
something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite you in, or naked, and clothe you? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?” The King will answer and say to them, “Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.” (Matthew 25:34-40, NASB)

Part of the journey to be more connected to God and others is simple. Get outside yourself by serving and affirming others. The rewards are remarkable.

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly Book.

April 5, 2020
21 Connect: Day 15 – Let God Love You

I am learning to look into the mirror and see someone that I accept by faith and not by my feelings. I see a saint. That’s right. Many (maybe most) of Satan’s accusations about me are true. But what I now see is a man who is a saint. I found forty references to saints in Paul’s writings in the English Standard Version. From his additional descriptions, I am pretty sure that the recipients of his letters were not always behaving like saints. They were saints because of Christ, and not by meticulously following the law. God sees those who trust Jesus as righteous, no matter how many accusations are thrown at them.

Amazing.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even
before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 1:3-5)

That is my (and your) identity as a follower of Jesus. Holy and without fault in His eyes. I will be accused again, probably sooner than later. But I am learning to simply say this to myself:

“That is not who I am anymore. I am holy because of Christ.”

When I forget that truth, I allow doubt, confusion, shame, and sadness to creep in. Not leaning on the finished work of Jesus as my strength and identity sets me up for a frustrating masquerade of faith.

There may be no element more important to living fully in the moment with God than accepting that I am loved by Him right now just as I am. That is so counterintuitive to how “love” so often works in my experience. I have talked with too many men who justify their extramarital relationships by saying they deserve more than their current marriage provides. It always hurts my heart because those they hurt deeply do not deserve to be wounded by betrayal. I try to never forget what I said on that July day more than forty years ago to my bride. I made vows to Joni Lynn Banks before God. I did not sign a contract with escape clauses based on my happiness at any given point in time.

The world speaks a different love language. “I will love you while you are attractive.” “I will love you when you make me happy.” “I will love you when you do what I ask you to do.” Human love almost always includes conditional elements. That is not God’s love.

The Lord your God is in your midst;
he is a warrior who can deliver.
He takes great delight in you;
he renews you by his love;
he shouts for joy over you.
Zephaniah 3:17, NET

The attributes of God’s love are mind boggling. It is personal. You and I can relate to God the Creator of the universe as our Father. Think about that. I mean really think about that.

I am conditioned to believe that if something seems too good to be true, then I am being deceived. That is what Satan would have me believe. But the stunning radicality of grace is that what seems to be too good to be true is more true than I can imagine. This unconditional love from God is unrelated to the emotions, expectations, and desires that taint my human love. God’s love is offered to the undeserving and unworthy, regardless of status, gender, color, nationality, wealth, or educational achievement. God loves us first. He is the One who woos us to Him. He is the patient, loving Father who never leaves and is always there when His child finally comes home.

This love is ours to receive. We don’t have to do a single thing except bring our wounds and sins to the loving Great Physician. When I believe that Christ died for the sins of the world, I am moved. When I believe that Christ died for my sins, I am changed.

I am choosing to believe that today.

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly Book

April 4, 2020
21 Connect: Day 14 – We Need a Village

Not all of us have experienced the joy of Psalm 133:1: “Behold, how good
and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!” (ESV).

There is no more powerful community than a group of believers who live in unity. And nothing should level the playing field like embracing the teachings of Jesus. He cares not a whit about color, status, or appearance. Jesus looks only on the heart. In Paul’s letter to the Thessalonians, he offered the benefits of honest community:

Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone. (1 Thessalonians 5:14)

Isn’t it interesting that the challenges Paul lists are arranged from easiest to hardest? I can admonish the lazy all day long. I am pretty good about encouraging the timid. On my good days I help the weak. But be patient with them all? Come on, Paul. Do you know these people?

But that is the attraction of community. It is messy and beautiful. Frustrating and fulfilling. It is life. And it is best lived together with other messy, beautiful, frustrating, and fulfilling saints who still are quite capable of sinning. And that tees up the biggest need for community as found
in Galatians:

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.
Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. (Galatians 6 :1-3)

That seems like such an essential passage for this culture as I contemplate the devastating and heartbreaking toll of sin. I know. That is not politically correct. But there is no other word that describes what I am seeing today. Since I began this project, I have seen a beloved and effective pastor
lose his ministry for the false hope of an inappropriate relationship. Somehow he stepped away from the power of grace in community and listened to the siren song of sin.

Sin says that there is more. Sin says that you deserve to be happier and that it will be true only in a different relationship. Sin says that God does not really have your best interest at heart. I hate those lies from Satan that we continue to believe.

Christians really do have a wonderful message of hope. But too often we don’t communicate the liberating joy of the gospel. We attach strings, instead of shouting that all we need to bring to Him for salvation is our sin and need. Jesus has done the rest. Paul makes it pretty simple:

If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9)

I must begin to concentrate on the message of what Jesus has done for me. Whether my sin inventory fills multiple volumes or a Post-
it note is irrelevant. I need the Cross. Only the finished work of Jesus makes me flawless. I am wounded and need acceptance.

Lord, forgive me for my sinful judgment of wounded souls, and help me to be a light to a very dark world.

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly Book

April 2, 2020
21 Connect: Day 13 – Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Comparison is poison to the soul. I either contrast myself to someone doing something better than me and feel downcast, or I measure myself to someone failing and feel better.

Perhaps that is my cue to refer to the Instruction Manual again. Paul writes about this very problem that was happening in the church at Corinth:

Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant! (2 Corinthians 10:12)

Writer Ann Voskamp notes that we try to measure how we are doing with imperfect—and even dangerous—measuring sticks:

Measuring sticks try to rank some people as big and some people as small—
but we aren’t sizes. We are souls. There are no better people or worse people—there are only God-made souls. There is no point trying to size people up, no point trying to compare—because souls defy measuring.

At the beginning of my book Waking Up Slowly I quoted Psalm 139, detailing how God uniquely wove together each of our individual DNA to create the one and only me and the one and only you. He knew us before we were formed, and He has ordained our days. Paul unpacks that even more in Ephesians:

It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone. (Ephesians 1:11-12 , The Message)

I am not an accident. I have a purpose in God’s plan. I have a role in God’s overall purpose. And I have a specific calling as a gift of grace. Being content with who you are really is a heart issue grounded in the truth of who you are according to Scripture.

How I wish that I could see myself as God sees me. Because of what Christ did on my behalf, God sees me as a saint. Forgiven. Valuable. Needed. What I often see is the same old failure who can’t dance, fix anything, or live consistently for God.

We see those smiling families and couples on social media and think they
are experiencing some alternate life that has eluded us. I’m sorry to break the news, but there are no perfect people or perfect families.

My fear is that we have created a culture where we feel there is something wrong with us if we are hurting. If I am struggling, I must be doing something wrong spiritually. Shouldn’t God meet this need? What is wrong with me? The fact that God created me with a desire to be in community
tells me that part of His plan is for me to be helped by other members of the body of Christ. But I think I am falling short by comparing myself to false images of people who are not being real.

Anne Lamott weighs in with her typical, unvarnished
honesty:

“Everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy, and scared, even the people who seem to have it more or less together. They are much more like you than you would believe. So try not to compare your insides to their outsides.”

Being broken, clingy, scared, and screwed up is spiritual soil prep for the seed of grace to grow.

I am not sure if writer John Mason had a biblical worldview in mind when he came up with the title for his book “You’re Born an Original, Don’t Die a Copy”, but he is theologically spot on. We are uniquely and completely designed for our roles in the body of Christ. Don’t try to imitate another part. The biggest danger to missing our lines in the production
called life is comparison. Relax and be you. No one compares
to you!

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly.

April 1, 2020
21 Connect: Day 12 – Kindness is Contagious

The apostle Paul laid out the challenge for followers of Jesus in his letter to the church in Ephesus:

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

I used to be impressed by talent and prestige. Now I find that I am more impressed by kindness. Billy Graham observed how we all—especially children—benefit from a little kindness:

“Often the only thing a child can remember about an adult in later years, when he or she is grown, is whether or not that person was kind.”

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the sadness and problems around me. Sometimes I think it is a hopeless world we live in. But I can do something. I can be kind. Edward Everett Hale once said, “I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do.”

I am not trying to shovel guilt on you or myself. Maybe we should be more intentional about being the body of Christ, rather than relying on government programs to do our job for us. I want the grace that God has given me to make my heart sensitive toward the poor as well as toward hurting and spiritually seeking people. It is hard to spend much time in the New Testament and not realize our challenge to be the body of Christ. Here is a very small sample:

If anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 1 John 3:17 , ESV

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
James 2:14-17, ESV

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 , ESV

The charge of hypocrisy leveled at the church has a lot to do with our obsession with sin management over living a life of kindness, grace, and service. If I am not living out of grace, then Jesus’ arms aren’t reaching as far as they could through me. Kindness is clearly step one.

Kindness doesn’t require great skill or advanced degrees. I can be kind with a PhD or a GED. I do not have to like someone to be kind. I have to remember that kindness means disconnecting from devices, so I can actually see and react to those around me. Kindness is powerful. Kindness tears down walls. Kindness builds trust.

Kindness shows the love of Christ through my imperfect efforts. As a Christian, kindness gives those I encounter a reason to listen to my message of redemption and grace. In return, I will be changed, receiving the greater gift.

I think writer Alexander MacLaren summarized it beautifully:
“Kindness makes a person attractive. If you would win the world, melt it, do not hammer it.”

Kindness is contagious and that is something we should run toward and not distance from. Especially now.

Taken from Waking Up Slowly

March 31, 2020
21 Connect: Day 10 – Gratitude Rhymes with Attitude

Gratitude is a mind-set, and I am praying that the response of appreciation can become a lifestyle for me, with some practice. It is easy to be grateful for the good things. Accepting with thankfulness the bad and sorrowful takes faith and trust that God is faithful with His children. I cannot claim to be grateful until I can simply say thank you for everything that comes my way, recognizing that every event will bring joy, character, perseverance, or ultimately, glory to God.

Roman philosopher Cicero wrote that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” Hmmm. I can see how that plays out. I forgive others out of gratitude for my own forgiveness. I give grace because I am grateful I was offered grace when I did not merit that gift. I give to those less fortunate out of gratitude for my financial blessings. Cicero might have been on to something.

The psalmist knew the power of giving thanks for the blessings of life.

On your feet now—applaud God!
Bring a gift of laughter,
sing yourselves into his presence.
Know this: God is God, and God, God.
He made us; we didn’t make him.
We’re his people, his well-tended sheep.
Enter with the password: “Thank you!”
Make yourselves at home, talking praise.
Thank him. Worship him.
For God is sheer beauty, all-generous in love,
loyal always and ever.
P s a l m 1 0 0 : 1 – 5 , The Message

I got a chuckle thinking about having to log in to access God in prayer. Using the password “thank you” would be a pretty good way to prepare my heart, and a reminder every time to appreciate all of my blessings.

I know that some seasons of life are difficult, and some days you just hope to survive. But I think that the majority of us would admit that we can find something to be grateful for, even in moments of frustration. Gratitude is the stabilizer for my spiritual walk. I think I can make a pretty good case that growing a grateful heart is the foundational attitude of the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

It is that important. Gratitude keeps me from envy, if I can mentally pivot to the many things I am blessed to enjoy. Gratitude keeps me from anger, if I can be grateful for how patient God is with my myriad of shortcomings. Gratitude keeps me from frustration, when it reminds me how much worse things could be. I have programmed a trigger into my gratitude response.

When I start getting cranky about my back pain, I think of those who live in constant pain. I become grateful that my pain is not constant, and I am reminded to pray for them. A simple mind- set change can take me from self-pity to prayer for others. I am also being prompted to pray for anyone who makes me angry with his or her thoughtlessness or rudeness. What is hurting that person’s heart so much that the response is filled with such venom? Full disclosure . . . I am not there yet. But when I can respond with an attitude of gratitude, it is the most freeing feeling. Maybe that is the best way to be grateful consistently. When I get outside my little world and see the suffering and sadness around me, I fall to my knees in thanksgiving for how fortunate I am.

Do everything without complaining and
arguing, so that no one can criticize you.
Live clean, innocent lives as children of
God, shining like bright lights in a world
full of crooked and perverse people.
Philippians 2 : 14 – 15

March 29, 2020
21 Connect: Day 9 – Grudges Weigh You Down

Carrying a grudge is so easy to do. But I think this writer nails how counterproductive the practice really is.

To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.

William H. Walton

I think we can all agree that God is not honored when we hold grudges, especially against fellow believers. I can disagree with you, but unless the issue is heresy, I do not have permission to dismiss you. We need to iron it out and make up.

That is not the easiest path. My default response when I am wronged is usually sinful, and I take a little comfort that I am not unique. A couple of guys who were really close to Jesus had the same sinful response to bad behavior:

He sent messengers ahead to a Samaritan village to prepare for his arrival. But the people of the village did not welcome Jesus because he was on his way to Jerusalem. When James and John saw this, they said to Jesus, “Lord, should we call down fire from heaven to burn them up?” Luke 9:52-54

My response? You betcha! Fire! Bring it, Jesus! But what was His response?

Jesus turned and rebuked them. So they went on to another village. Luke 9:55-56

As much as my heart cries out for vindication and revenge, Jesus says no. You go on to the next village. You trust God. You forgive. This journey is hard because my sense of justice says that maybe they deserve fire from heaven. But it gets even tougher. Jesus says to forgive my enemies.

I resist with my well-rehearsed five-step program. Step one is to blame someone else. Step two is to vow not to back down and give in because, after all, I was wronged. Step three is to go into hiding and despair. Step four is to be too proud to lose the battle. Step five is to hang on to the grudge, even as the weight of that animosity crushes my spirit. That is an ugly little sequence, but it is a pattern I have repeated far too many times in my journey. I imagine Jesus’ heart is saddened by my stubborn refusal to consider His forgiveness extended to me and, consequently, my refusal to lean on His power to forgive.

There is fear on that road to forgiveness, when I take my eyes off of Christ. My heart cries out in protest. What if they reject, scoff, or take advantage of my forgiveness? Jesus reminds me gently that He understands. And it is the right thing to do, no matter how the other party responds.

Sometimes truth is irritating.

When I break those chains and allow God to heal my heart, the weight of the world is lifted off my soul. Sadly, too often, it is the road less taken. But it is the path that will make a difference in my (and your) journey with Jesus.

I love these principles of Christian living, often attributed to St. Augustine:

“In essentials, Unity. In non-essentials, Liberty. In everything, Love.”

What would the impact of the gospel be if the body of Christ lived by that simple little credo? Satan knows all too well how a world that is shown God’s real love and grace would respond. So the enemy reminds me of grudges both real and enhanced. I turn from forgiveness because I convince myself that my offender does not deserve it. I conveniently forget that I did not deserve forgiveness either. There is no way I have found to release those grudges without the healing power of forgiveness. Author Will Davis Jr. explains:

Once you decide to forgive, you initiate the healing process. Forgiveness gives your soul permission to move on to the higher and healthier ground of emotional recovery. Forgiveness is to your soul what
antibiotics are to infection. It is the curative agent that will help to fully restore your soul. It doesn’t immediately remove the pain of the offense but it does start you on the road to recovery.

I really like that perspective. The decision to forgive initiates but does not complete healing. You and I will, in time, heal. But we will never get there without taking the first step of faith. Would you decide to lighten your load today and give up the grudge?

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly.

March 28, 2020