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I am changing careers. I have decided to start issuing official sounding studies about obvious things. I have a keen sense of the obvious. Why not profit from that? My career epiphany came as I read a study that found that college students are self-centered. Seriously?

I am planning to release my first groundbreaking study soon. My thesis is that people stuck in rush hour traffic are less friendly. I am pretty sure I am right.

While the conclusion of the study about today’s college kids isn’t shocking the conclusions about the reasons are indeed interesting. According to the study’s lead author, psychology professor Jean Twenge, the reason narcissism is now epidemic can be traced to an unhealthy desire to boost self-esteem.

Narcissism is defined at dictionary.com as excessive love or admiration of oneself. The second listed definition smacks of irony.

A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.

So our out of balance attempts to artificially boost self-esteem actually creates an unhealthy self-esteem deficit in many young men and women. Very interesting.

Here are some excerpts from the Associated Press story.

In the study released today, researchers warn that a rising ego rush could bring personal and social problems for the Millennial Generation, also called Gen Y. People with an inflated sense of self tend to have less interest in emotionally intimate bonds and can lash out when rejected or insulted.

“We need to stop endlessly repeating ‘You’re special’ and having children repeat that back,” said the study’s lead author, San Diego State University psychology professor Jean Twenge. “Kids are self-centered enough already.”

Some of the rise in narcissism was probably caused by self-esteem programs that many elementary schools adopted in the 1980s, the study suggested. It noted that preschools began to have children sing a song to the tune of “Frère Jacques” that proclaims: “I am special, I am special. Look at me.”

Other trends such as permissive parenting, increased materialism and the fascination with celebrities and reality TV shows may also heighten self-regard, said the University of Georgia’s W. Keith Campbell, a study co-author.

Dr. Twenge has written a book titled “Generation Me: Why Today’s Young American are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled – and More Miserable Than Ever Before”.

Let’s be honest here. Maybe the “Mellennials” are a bit higher on the narcissism scale but this self-absorption is not confined to the university level. I would suggest this has been a growing phenomenon since the Baby Boomers starting crawling around America’s nurseries. The effects of America’s heightened self-regard has filtered into our churches as well. You could do a church version of Dr.Twenge’s book called “Generation(s) Me: Why Today’s Christians have more Teaching, Programs, Resources – and are more Miserable Than Ever Before.” Sadly, you can too often see Christians who don’t realize who they are in Christ lash out when rejected or insulted just like the students in the study. Why? The answer for Christians is that we have forgotten or don’t understand what Christ has done in our lives.

Self-esteem for collegians or congregations does not come from singing songs and being told you are special. The foundation of such shallow self-esteem is built on sand and is easily washed away by life’s storms.

But healthy self-esteem is possible. I believe it can be accomplished through applying some timeless truths.

1. It is not about you. Dr.Stephen Bramer, a teaching pastor at our church, shared that he was taught as a child that you find joy by living with clear cut priorities. The plan is simple and uses joy as an acronym.   J – Jesus comes first, O – Others come next, Y – You come last. When I have lived my life in that order I have found joy. Unfortunately my percentage of days lived in that order needs to get higher.
   
2. You are special. But you are special because you are created in the image of God and not because of a group sing-a-long.
   
3. I believe that every one of God’s children is gifted to contribute to His church and to His plan. Having a part in the Great Commission of the Lord Jesus gives you significance that has eternal value.
   
4. Self-worth is found in being loved unconditionally by the Creator of the Universe. Jesus said “I love you” when you were unlovable. Having a personal relationship with God gives you self-esteem that is built on a solid foundation and that can withstand life’s storms.
   
5. We were created to be in community and being self-absorbed sabotages that plan. I can enjoy the benefits of community only if I put things in the right relational order.
   
6. All of these truths come together when you become a child of God and allow Jesus total access. The old self must go away. Paul wrote powerfully about our potential to live new lives in Christ Jesus. Take a moment to read Romans 6. Good stuff.

The conclusion of the narcissism study made me chuckle. Dr. Campbell did note that narcissism can have benefits, suggesting it could be useful in meeting new people “or auditioning on American Idol.” So if the primary benefit of narcissism is getting shredded by Simon Cowell I think I will pass.

When I awoke today I thought about these words of Jesus.

“And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

That makes me feel pretty good about myself today.

 

I am so happy that I decided to start this blog eighteen months ago. I would encourage every Christian to journal several days a week or you can blog (ego journal) about what God is teaching you. It is interesting and a blessing to look back at what God has been doing in our lives. Who knew when I began the daily ramblings that I would be writing about Joni’s cancer journey?

On too many occasions recently I have been visiting with someone who has cancer or who has a friend or family member with the disease. I sometimes refer them to the website to read some of our experiences during the journey. I decided to make it easy for anyone who wants to share what God has taught us with others that are currently going through this trial. Here are some of the “cancer chronicles” that Joni and I have written over the past year.

A word of encouragement to those beginning the journey. Cancer is scary. The treatments seem overwhelming. But here is what Joni and I have learned. God gives you the grace and strength to take this journey one step and one day at a time. You will look back at the end and wonder, “how did I do that?” Be encouraged that you can. Stay steadfast in your faith. Keep your sense of humor as much as possible. Determine that the cancer has picked a formidable foe and don’t give in.

You can do it. We did.

Here are some links followed by a brief capsule of the contents.

Sentences that change your life … Reflections on the shock of hearing Joni’s diagnosis and the plan that we implemented to not “waste her cancer”.

How to be a good cancer buddy … What to say and what not to say when your friend has cancer.

I will praise you in this storm … The theme song we adopted for the journey.

I am a rock? … Joni’s touching gift to me on my birthday.

Wouldn’t take nothing for the journey now … Written the day before we began the frightening chemotherapy regimen.

Poison for healing? … The mindboggling concept of using poison for good.

The Ultimate Oxymoron? … Cancer humor may seem like the ultimate oxymoron but we found it was vital to healing.

Bald is Beautiful – Part 1 … A tribute to my beautiful bride when she lost temporary custody of her hair.

Bald is Beautiful – Part 2 … A tribute to the amazing women who make up the breast cancer sisterhood.

Round 3  … Rocky had nothing on my bride in toughness.

Unmasked … The realization that we did not have to be superhuman in this journey.

The meaning of Kemosabe … Reflections on the privilege of being Joni’s “chemo-sabe” during her treatments.

In our last episode … When we had a little adventure that was not in the brochure I decided to use some old movie stills to tell the story.

Kleenex Warning … It is okay to be scared. But you don’t have to stay there.

One Finish Line in Sight … Part of the plan is setting up markers along the journey. Rejoice when you hit each goal.

We’ll remember always…Diagnosis Day … Some days you will always remember. D-Day is one of those.

Reflections from the Slow Drip Spa … The amazing spirit that permeates the cancer treatment center humbles me.

I have eyebrows! … Joni’s realization that sometimes incredible blessings come in the oddest ways.

Pop the top! … A PG rated note from Joni about ditching the wig and going with her sassy short hair look.

Book plug (not mine): Joni found tremendous comfort and insight in a book that we now give to cancer patients. The book is called Praying Through Cancer…Set Your Heart Free From Fear. It is excellent.

Joni and I pray that you will trust Him completely in the journey. We would love to hear from you if you (or a loved one) are on the cancer journey now.

Blessings and peace in the trial.

Dave

The lovely Mrs. Burchett and I recently had the joy of watching Ricky Skaggs and Kentucky Thunder in concert. I have decided that if am ever unresponsive you can check my heart status by putting a Ricky Skaggs CD on the stereo. If my toe doesn’t start tapping I am likely flat-lined. You just can’t help responding if you have a pulse.

I left the concert and waded through Skagg’s discography. One song brought back memories of something my Mom always said to me. The song that jogged that recollection was called Don’t Get Above Your Raisin’.

Now lookee here gal don’t ya’ high hat me,
I ain’t forgot what you used ta be
When you didn’t have nuthin,
That was plain ta’ see.
Don’t get above your raisin’
Stay down ta’ earth with me.

Mom was raised as a farm girl in Kentucky and she was fiercely proud of that. So anytime she perceived that I was getting a bit uppity and full of myself she would throw that line down.

“Don’t get above your raisin’.”

Sometimes it was over such important issues as abandoning Maxwell House for that fancy-schmancy Starbucks. Usually the comment was meant to keep me grounded and to remind me where I came from. Can’t say that I always appreciated the input.

I think we do the same thing as Christians. A big reason that we are not more joyful and victorious in this journey is that we forget where we came from. We have forgotten our raisin’ and the gift of our salvation. Somehow we forget how desperate we were and start to believe that we were actually deserving. You know, God is pretty fortunate to have me on board. Paul reminds Titus to tell the believers in Crete to remember where they came from…

Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other.

Not too attractive. Nothing to be uppity about. Then the grace of God intervened.

But—“When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, He saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.”

So that is where I came from. That is where you came from if you are a follower of Jesus. Paul wraps ups this text with a challenge.

This is a trustworthy saying, and I want you to insist on these teachings so that all who trust in God will devote themselves to doing good. These teachings are good and beneficial for everyone.

My constant challenge is to not get above my raisin’ spiritually.

• If I can’t forgive then I have forgotten where I came from. I did not deserve to be forgiven by a Holy God. I was.
• When I look with disdain at another person I have forgotten where I came from. That person is a soul that Jesus came to this planet to die for on the cross.
• When I don’t accept another brother or sister I have forgotten that I was unacceptable to a Holy God. Jesus said you are acceptable because of Me. We must offer the same grace because of Jesus.
• When I can’t serve without expectation of personal return I have forgotten where I came from. If I remember where I came from I will serve because I am grateful for what Christ did for me.
• When I don’t give joyfully of my time and treasure I have forgotten where I came from. If you truly understand where you came from the natural response is to serve Him joyfully.

This is important stuff. I don’t want to forget where I came from both as a person and as a child of God. My small town roots are a big part of who I am. And my encounter with grace at the foot of the Cross defines who I am spiritually. I pray that I will remember every day who I am and where Jesus brought me from. Take time to remember where you came from. And then respond appropriately.

 

 

Yesterday I had the joy of driving from scenic Garland, Texas to every bit as scenic Waco, Texas. Despite the mindboggling beauty of the I-35 transit I was able to get in some iPod time on the way. One song that struck me on the journey was a recent Grammy Award winner. The artist is John Mayer and he won a statue for Best Male Vocal Pop Performance with a song called “Waiting on the World to Change”. 

The song is written as an explanation of sorts for the apathy displayed by many of Mayer’s generation toward political and social activism. The song is powerful and, to me, a bit depressing.

Me and all my friends
We’re all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There’s no way we ever could

Now we see everything that’s going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don’t have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

I couldn’t help but think that this could easily be reworked to describe the state of mind for many churchgoers in America. Sadly, that song could be multi-generational in our churches as well. It is so easy to see everything that is going wrong with the church and those who lead it.  But we decide that we don’t have the energy or the means or power to beat it. So we just keep waiting. Waiting for the church to change. Waiting for the leadership to change. Waiting. Mayer describes the next step.

It’s hard to beat the system
When we’re standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Rather than step in it is so much easier to step back and it is really easy to just step away. Researcher George Barna notes that millions of self-described born-again Christians have left the church. Many are standing at a distance and waiting on the church to change.

It’s not that we don’t care,
We just know that the fight ain’t fair
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

The average Christian would no doubt tell you they support the church in theory. But they are just sick of the church ….(pick two from the list below)

___ Being full of hypocrites (as if we couldn’t squeeze in a couple more)
___ Being too much about politics
___ Constantly Fund Raising
___ Not being friendly
___ Having teaching that is too boring
___ Having teaching that is too much “entertainment”
___ Being too legalistic
___ Being too into freedom
___ Playing music that is too modern
___ Playing music that is too old fashioned

You get the point. It is not a problem to find a problem. And we keep waiting. Waiting for the church to change.

But Jesus has a different plan that could help my dilemma and also the apathy that Mayer sings about. Jesus asks us to accomplish the goal with a radical plan. He asks me to change. He asks you to change. He tells us that we are accountable for ourselves. Period.

Do you think things would change if we could implement the instructions below written to the church at Colossae?

So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective.

And later in the chapter Paul describes what that would look like…

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

 Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.  Colossians The Message

Can you imagine what the church would look like by simply implementing those few verses alone? Reflecting the love and light of the grace of God will change others. If enough of us follow that plan then the church will change. No waiting. And if enough churches change then the world will change. So that is the plan. No waiting required. Just get started on you today. I will work on me. We can stop waiting for the church to change and simply be obedient to do our part. It is a start. And to be honest, I am tired of waiting.

 

Some days are too busy to write. So if I may paraphrase the classis bit from Johnny Carson…

“I have in my hand some earlier posts, a child of four can plainly see these posts are hermetically sealed. They’ve been kept since noon today in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnalls’ porch. No one-but one -knows the contents.” 

With no further ado we open the seal to one of these earlier posts. Hope you enjoy.

Dave

I used to be terrified by Dracula when I was a kid. Bela Lugosi played the Transylvania terror and I did not sleep well for many nights after seeing that movie. The standard defense methods against a vampire were generally not available to an eight year old kid. I did not have any silver bullets, did not possess a crucifix, was too chicken to think about the wooden stake, and could not figure out an excuse to put garlic on the shopping list. So I hunkered down under the covers, stayed close to beloved mutt Penny, and began my first foray into earnest prayer. God does work in mysterious ways.

So it brought back those childhood memories when I picked up an article headlined Give the slip to ‘energy vampires’. The premise of the piece written by Patrick Pemberton is that certain people possess bad vibes, passive-aggressive tactics or outright meanness that simply wipes you out. The concept comes from a book written by psychiatrist Judith Orloff entitled “Positive Energy: 10 Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress & Fear into Vibrance, Strength and Love”. I certain relate to the 9 classifications of energy vampires that she outlines. Her ideas to combat them veered a bit from my strategy. Let’s look at a few of them with Orloff’s strategy with the approach of your humble bad Christian following in italics.

THE BLAMER

This guy has a sneaky way of making you feel guilty for not getting things right. He’ll dole out endless guilt, resort to verbal abuse, and levy accusations, leaving no room for discussion.

Solution: Imagine yourself enveloped in a cocoon of white light, then picture the cocoon as a shield forming a fail-safe barrier around you. This is a barrier zone where negative vibes can’t disable you.

Reaction…. Uhhhhh. Okay. My cocoon proved to be way too porous (shouldn’t have used the lowest bidder) and negative vibes pummelled me. So I went back to my original plan. I don’t mean to get all spiritual but this is actually where I am in my journey with Jesus. I have finally realized that I have a new identity in Christ. When confronted with verbal accusations, guilt, and even verbal abuse I am learning (still got a long way to go) to remember that I am attempting to live in a way that demonstrates the supernatural presence of God investing in my life. To respond gently in such a circumstance is supernatural. I am not talking about being a wimp. A strong but gentle response communicated with grace is my goal. Jesus laid down the uncomfortable truth in the gospel of Matthew.

“If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”  Matthew 5 The Message

THE SO-CALLED FRIEND

Driven by envy or insecurity, she puts you down for seemingly no reason, deflating your energy.

Solution: Break eye contact and visualize yourself power-sucking back every drop of energy she’s taken from you. Exhale and envision negative energy as dark gunk leaving your body through your lower spine as you picture fresh air and sunlight coming in. Consider a bath or shower and drink lots of water to reinforce this feeling of cleansing.

Wow. That is some toxic friend! Do you have to call the EPA for this strategy? This is an area that is under construction in my life. My Christian journey is much like Interstate 35 from Dallas to Austin. Constant construction, delays, and frustration. But when the construction is finished and the traffic runs smoothly it is such a relief. That is how my experience with Christ has been. I finish construction on one area and enjoy the exhilaration of smooth sailing. Then I realize that the Lord is setting up construction cones again. Doh!

I am learning to confront the so-called friend in love. Again, I turn to the teachings of Jesus. “This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.Or say you’re out on the street and an old enemy accosts you. Don’t lose a minute. Make the first move; make things right with him.” 

Easy? Hardly.

But amazingly effective most of the time.

CHAOTIC CROWDS

It can be an unruly crowd, complete with elbowing, smoking strangers, or just a big rowdy group at a mall or sporting event that gives you a general sense of chaos.

Solution: Find a quiet seating area out of the stream of people where you can go to take a breath, close your eyes, then imagine yourself in a tranquil setting.

The stunning Mrs. Burchett and I just found ourselves in such a situation recently at a post-Christmas sale that resembled a European soccer riot. We found the following solution also works very well.

Leave.

THE FIXER-UPPER

A dependent, she makes you her therapist and calls on you to fix her problems.

Solution: Identify the co-dependency issues and distance yourself with compassion. Offer emotional support, but don’t spew out solutions. If you’re consistent, she won’t expect you to fix her problems in the future.

This is a tough one. But people generally become dependent for a reason. Often the reason goes deeper than a friend can dig out. But offering love and the hope that I possess is one fixer-upper that has worked for me and those I love.

Other categories of energy vampires include the Unintentional Sapper, the Seemingly Nice Guy, the Constant Talker, and the Drama Queen. Most of us can relate to the people described by Ms Orloff. But I must tell you that I find an inherent danger in allowing myself to view people like this. Believe me I am often tempted to go to my cocoon of white light and avoid the neediness of those around me. But the words of Jesus continue to trip up my desires.

“Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage. Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand–shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.”    Matthew 5 The Message

I cannot perceive those who annoy me as my adversaries and still live as a follower of Jesus. So while I enjoy the amusing concept of energy vampires I cannot view them that way. Even those who are a drain are people created in the image of God. Jesus died for the salvation of fixer-uppers, blamers, so-called friends, complainers, drama queens, sob sisters, constants talkers, etc. A more concise categorization of all of these types might be sinners. So I hope I can look at these sometimes needy souls not as vampires but as people who need the hope I hold within me. But on a bad day garlic is still very effective.

There was a little saying that I have heard all of my life.

If you can’t say something nice about them…then don’t say anything.

Had I practiced that very wise advice I would have had many more “quiet times” in my life. I have not always practiced that simple principle even though I have read and nodded solemnly in agreement as I read James and Paul warn of the dangers of gossip and an uncontrolled tongue.  Whether you call it venting or sharing it is always perilously close to gossiping. That is one of those “fine line” challenges. Like Dave Barry’s quote that “there’s a fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness’.” I would submit that there is a fine line between venting/sharing and gossip. Gossip is one of the favorite tools that Satan has in his toolbox.

Brooklyn Tabernacle takes gossip very seriously. New members hear this charge as they become members of the church. 

And now, I charge you, as pastor of this church, that if you ever hear another member speak an unkind word of criticism or slander against anyone—myself, another pastor, an usher, a choir member, or anyone else—you have authority to stop that person in mid sentence and say, ?Excuse me—who hurt you? Who ignored you? Who slighted you? Was it Pastor Cymbala? Let’s go to his office right now. He will get on his knees and apologize to you, and then we will pray together, so God can restore peace and unity to this body. But we will not let you talk critically about people who are not present to defend themselves. New members, please understand that I am entirely serious about this. I want to help resolve this kind of thing immediately. And meanwhile, know this: If YOU are ever the one doing the loose talking, we will confront you.

If every church practiced this I suspect we have far less division in the church. An interesting thought about gossip comes from Frank A. Clark. “Gossip needn’t be false to be evil – there’s a lot of truth that shouldn’t be passed around.”

Ouch. That convicted me. I have vented and shared things that were true. Somehow that made me feel better that I was venting truth. But I later realized that my venting was not edifying to the body of Christ. I may have been right but I was not righteous. One of the biggest lessons I am learning about the spiritual dangers of gossip is the Piranha Principle.

The Piranha is an interesting fish. I wrote about visiting the National Aquarium in New Orleans several years ago in my book When Bad Christians Happen to Good People. The potentially deadly fish swam peacefully and quietly in the tank. I read the plaque about the behavior of the fish. Piranha are peaceful when they are fed, water levels are normal, and food sources are readily available. But when the water gets low they feel crowded and threatened. When you add hunger to that situation the entire personality of the Piranha change. They get angry, aggressive, and prone to feeding frenzies. They begin to attack anything in the water, including one another.  

I have seen too many church goers become emotionally frenzied like these Piranha. When we (Christians) are well fed and happy we swim happily about the sanctuary. But if the environment changes watch out. When the Pew Piranha feels threatened or change is instituted the frenzy can begin. Just like our fish counterparts, a feeding frenzy is never a solo act. Others get caught up and join in. And before long the blood of division is in the water. And it is a tragedy for the church, the body of Christ, and for those who get involved.

I have witnessed emotional feeding frenzies in many churches. It is truly amazing the emotional power that is generated by a group of passionate people (often very good people) sharing their frustration and anger apart from prayer, repentance, and forgiveness.

King Solomon wrote that “a perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.” How tragic. But that is happening every single day in the church. Later he notes that “without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.”

So my challenge to you and to me (as I look uncomfortably into the mirror) is to not add any fuel to the gossip fire. I have too often added kerosene instead of kindness. I want to be tender and not tinder. I cannot use the lyric from the old Billy Joel song as an excuse that “we didn’t start the fire”. Jesus is asking us to not spread the fire and, when we can, to extinguish it with grace.

 

I have tried to avoid the whole Anna Nicole Smith tragedy that is dominating so much of TV “news”. But an ancillary story caught my eye. The article in the Dallas Morning News was titled “Smith joins ranks of Playmates dead before 50“.  Apparently a disproportionate number of women who have posed in Playboy magazine have died tragically before the age of 50. Automobile accidents, drug overdoses, homicides, a plane crash — all have claimed the lives of Playmates. What caught my eye was a comment from a photographer for the magazine.

“It’s sad how many girls we’ve lost,” said Peter Gowland, who photographed a number of centerfolds for Playboy in the 1950s and 60s.

“It’s a curse to be beautiful,” Gowland said.

No, Mr.Gowland, it is a gift to be beautiful. The curse is young women being exploited for their beauty by self-centered men. The curse is believing that your significance and value is found in being a object of lust for selfish men. The curse is sin.

I know I sound like such an old fogey but pornography has become a significant and real problem in our culture. It is a problem for far too many Christian men. When I was a young man you had to go to some seedy, disgusting place to get pornography. Today I am ten seconds away from the whatever I want to download. In the interest of full disclosure I was a regular consumer of the magazine in question many years ago. I regret every cent I spent and every moment I invested in devaluing those women. As men who are serious about following Jesus we must hold one another accountable to not contribute to this demeaning industry. I bought the rationalization for awhile that this magazine was “classier” and had “good articles”. What a load of bovine excrement that argument was in retrospect. I know that many women see no issue in being a “model” for these magazines. That doesn’t change my responsibility to view them as souls created in the image of God for His Glory and not objects for my desires.

Jesus knew how men are wired.  He knew that we cannot play with the fire of lust without eventually getting burned. Countless marriages have been ruined by this pernicious industry. Intimacy has been impacted because of unrealistic expectations. Countless women have been exploited and damaged. And that brings us back to the real curse. Sin.

Let’s call it by it’s name.

There is a cure. Paul prescribes the cure to this curse in his letter to the church at Rome.

When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners.  Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. 8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.  And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation.  For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son.  So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.

No, it is not a curse to be beautiful. Or smart. Or talented. It is a curse to define yourself only by a temporal asset. You were created to be in fellowship with your Creator. Find that relationship and then beauty, intelligence, and talents become gifts to be used for God’s glory. Let’s review Paul’s incredible claim from above.

So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.

Sin is the curse. You can check out the cure here.