Charisa Stories

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  • Need Hope? Call On Jesus.

    An experienced friend recently noted that “getting old is not for sissies”. 

    Indeed. 

    Even if you escape personal difficulties you will undoubtedly have family and friends who are going through physical, emotional and spiritual trials. One of the songs that I default to when I am walking through valleys with others is from singer/composer Rich Mullins. The song is from his CD called Songs and it is simply titled “Hold Me Jesus”. 

    Well, sometimes my life
    Just don’t make sense at all
    When the mountains look so big
    And my faith just seems so small

    Right now I am in a pretty good place in my life and journey with Jesus. But then I started thinking about the many friends and loved ones who could relate completely to those lyrics in their current situation. And I can certainly remember seasons of my life when those words accurately reflected the condition of my soul.

    And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
    It’s so hot inside my soul
    I swear there must be blisters on my heart

    And I remember how I used to respond. I would deduce it was my fault and I would decide that I had to do something to bolster my faith. I had to read more verses or do a study or pray more or believe more. But the answer was far more simple and the chorus by Rich Mullins nails it.

    So hold me Jesus, ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf
    You have been King of my glory
    Won’t You be my Prince of Peace

    I need to quit flailing and trying so darn hard to be righteous. Hold me Jesus. Won’t you be my Prince of Peace? I start my praying by stating a truth that is simple and profound.

    “Jesus…thank you for your constant presence and love today.”

    That is the truth of the Gospel. But I remember how I used to think that I had to “do stuff” for God to earn His favor and receive His love and peace. For those of us “doers” who absolutely must do something I have our assignment.

    Trust God.

    That’s it. I have made it so stinkin’ complicated and religious for so many years. When I exercise that simple act of faith I can move forward with confidence. When I trust God obedience comes out of gratitude and not teeth gritting compliance.

    Why did I fight His amazing grace and His unconditional love. Rich Mullins nails that too.

    Surrender don’t come natural to me
    I’d rather fight You for something
    I don’t really want
    Than to take what You give that I need
    And I’ve beat my head against so many walls
    Now I’m falling down, I’m falling on my knees

    That was me. Hanging on to the familiar malaise of self-effort instead of surrendering and accepting grace and freedom. Rich Mullins is now with the King of Glory and the Prince of Peace but his ministry continues around the world. Next time you are flailing and striving to please God why not try that little prayer of gratitude.

    “Jesus…thank you for loving me today and walking with me through this difficult valley.”

    “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  (Matthew 11:28-30, The Message)

  • Life Can Hurt. Jesus Is The Healer.

    Being in loving community with others means you share in their joys and their sorrows. Sometimes the sorrows come in tsunami waves and all you can do is care, pray, and be present. Good and decent people deal with financial, emotional, and physical suffering all around us and it is easy to lose heart. The news seems to be only tragedy and heartbreaking sadness. What can be redeemed of all of this suffering?

    A song called “The Hurt and the Healer” by MercyMe resonated when I first heard it over a decade ago but recently that same song has ministers deeper in my soul. I was not aware that Bart Millard and Andrew Farley had co-written a book about this issue of Jesus being the healer when life hurts. The lyrics are powerful…

    Why?
    The question that is never far away
    The healing doesn’t come from the explained
    Jesus please don’t let this go in vain

    I can’t explain why things happen. Sometimes it is the consequences of sin. Sometimes it is simply life. I have learned in my years of following Jesus that He does not let suffering go in vain. I have seen over and over how God redeems sadness and tragedy. He so often brings beauty out of ashes. When I cannot see how any good can come out of a trial I trust my Abba Father in faith. Believe me I don’t always “feel” that emotionally but I can move forward in faith. God has never let me down. And I believe He never will.

    Breathe
    Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do
    Pain so deep that I can hardly move
    Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
    Lord take hold and pull me through

    Most of us have been there at some point. If not, you will be someday. Peter talked about the inevitability of suffering in this life in a passage that we usually leave out of the brochure when we tell others about our faith. All of us who follow Jesus are going to suffer.

    Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world. (1 Peter 4, NLT)

    Count me among the brethren who tried to dance around this truth for as long as I could. Be very glad? Seriously? But when you have nowhere else to turn but to Christ you find out that you should have turned to Him first all along.

    Jesus come and break my fear
    Awake my heart and take my tears
    Find Your glory even here
    When the hurt and the healer collide

    Jesus meets you there and not in theory. He suffered. He agonized with God the Father. He knows the human condition. He has already been where you are. When the hurt and the Healer collide something amazing happens. The pain may not immediately go away but peace and hope begin to slowly heal the pain. Peter did not end his writing on suffering with the buzz kill of Chapter 4. He wrapped it in a bow of incredible hope in the next chapter.

    In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation. (1 Peter 5, NLT)

    That is a promise that we can hold on to in times of sorrow and suffering. Jesus is always there even though we often forget that truth. I am trusting that promise this week for myself and my friends who are hurting.

  • Papa’s Advice For My High School Bound Grandson

    My oldest grandchild is entering high school next fall. There is a mixture of real excitement and a bit of anxiety as he moves into that level. I wanted to share some things I wish I had known when I began that journey. Here are a few insights from your Papa often learned the hard way.

    1.    I wish I had known that my high school years did not define me for life.

    My teen years were a mixed bag of memorable highs and lows. Now I realize that I am grateful for what I once considered some of the difficult moments of my life. In many of those spiritual valleys you could not have begun to convince me that God was molding me or that those experiences could ever be of value.

    Had I been the coolest guy or the best athlete I likely would not have developed a sensitive spirit to others. With the benefit of hindsight I can promise you that I am grateful for every refining difficulty and problem. Those difficult times helped me grow emotionally and spiritually. High school did not define who I would become and it does not define you either.

    2.     I wish I had recognized consistently that every person is created in God’s image. And He loves them just as much as He loves me.

    Sparky Anderson, a former Cincinnati Reds manager, once said that “you can never go wrong being classy.” And you can never go wrong being kind to everyone. Sometimes you will be tempted to ridicule or tease those who are less attractive, intelligent, gifted, or cool. Don’t do it. High school is the start of a very long journey. Some people seem to be leading the life race coming out of high school turn but there is a long way to go. The real winners know that life is a marathon and that God has a plan for that long race. Be kind to everyone. Jesus loves them. And so should you.

    3.    I wish I had realized in high school that I needed to take responsibility for my own actions

    Learn now to say these three sentences.

    I was wrong.
    I am sorry.
    Forgive me.

    And keep your “but” out of those statements. Don’t say “I was wrong ‘but’ I didn’t think it would hurt you” or “I am sorry ‘but’ I was having a bad day.”  Those are not real apologies.

    It is so important that the friends you spend the majority of your time with share your desire to follow the Lord and love others. Your circle of friends influence your path.

    Take responsibility. Live with integrity and kindness. That will make you unique in this culture!

    4. I wish I had trusted that God had a plan for my life.

    Every person has a God-designed destiny whether they believe it or not. Henri Nouwen wrote about living with that frame of mind.

    “We seldom realize fully that we are sent to fulfill God-given tasks. . . . We act as if we were simply dropped down in creation and have to decide how to entertain ourselves until we die. But we were sent into the world by God, just as Jesus was. Once we start living our lives with that conviction, we will soon know what we were sent to do.”

    Living out of who you are is liberating. The apostle Paul had some thoughts about such a life when he wrote to the church at Ephesus.

    God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:8-10, NLT)

    Think about that! You were rescued from separation from God by His grace. It was a gift that could not be earned. And you are a new creation, indeed a masterpiece for whom good things were planned from the beginning of time. God has a plan for you! When you trust these truths you are less likely to deal with self-image issues.

    5.  I wish I had known that the most important decision I will ever make is who or what I worship.

    Everyone worships something or someone. It can be money or power or fame or popularity or another person. We have a deep yearning to find our purpose and significance. If you don’t find that identity and significance in Christ you can unintentionally fill it with wrong things. Often those things are not inherently bad. But they can become bad things when they become the focus instead of Jesus.

    It is less likely for these “things” to be wrong when you seek the kingdom of God first.

    6)  I wish I had known that God’s grace is the key to freedom.

    In high school I often felt that my performance was the key to my acceptance. I transferred that belief to my relationship with God. That was a spiritual stumbling block until I learned the remarkable truth of God’s grace. I finally learned that it was Jesus’ performance for me that makes me accepted by God and not my good behavior.

    God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.
    (Ephesians 2:8, NLT)

    I know that most of us have to learn the lessons of life the hard way. I am still learning after all of these years how to follow Jesus more consistently. He is so incredibly patient and loving as I sometimes stumble along. Add that to the list of things I wish I had known and believed when I was your age.

    You are already demonstrating many of these things your Papa didn’t figure out till later. Enjoy this next season of life and know that your family loves you dearly. And God is always with you.

  • The Miracle of My Mom’s Parting Gift

    If my Mom was born in today’s world I have no doubt she would have flourished with her strong, independent, and intelligent personality. But life for women in the 40’s and 50’s was limiting and I would guess a bit frustrating at times.

    I loved my Mom but our relationship was often challenging. She was raised in a family where love was not openly expressed. She could be negative and her comments often impacted me. I knew that she loved me fiercely but I will admit that I grieved for a more gracious expression of her love.

    As her health declined I prayed that her relationship with God would be clear to her and to her family. In the summer of 2006 I journeyed to Ohio to visit her. A group of Christian friends in Texas told me they would pray that I could discuss salvation with my Mom. I thanked them for their concern but in my heart I felt they were naive. They did not know my Mom. 

    Fast forward a few days as I am sitting with her. The conversation was mundane. Out of nowhere she dropped this bombshell.

    “How can you be sure that you are going to heaven?”

    You could have knocked me over with a feather and I immediately thought of those saints in Texas praying for exactly this moment. And I felt a bit of shame because I was the naive one who doubted the power of prayer. I shared the gospel with my Mom. She assured me that she had trusted Christ as her Savior. The next question was nearly as surprising.

    “What if you trusted Christ but haven’t lived it?”

    Wow. What do you say to that? I chose to tell her the truth. That she was always a child of God but she had likely forfeited some joy by not walking more consistently with Him. She had likely missed chances to serve and probably many blessings the Lord had desired her to experience. Still, there was a nagging question in my mind that I lacked the courage to address. I knew there were people who had hurt my Mom deeply and she had showed no signs of forgiveness. I was fairly certain she would take that bitter anger to her grave but I knew that was forgiven by the grace of God.

    But Mom took those comments about living for Jesus to heart. She chose to live for Him with the rest of her days. She told my niece that she had prayed more in the last year than she had in her whole life. She regularly asked me to pray for her and told me she was praying for me and especially for Joni as my bride battled breast cancer.

    My Mom began to regularly tell me she loved me. That was something you didn’t say in her family. You were just supposed to know it. She told me she was sorry if she had hurt me with her words or actions. That was the first time I had heard those words from my Mom in 53 years. It was a powerful moment of grace and reconciliation between us. When I saw her the last time she kissed me and said, “you don’t know how much you mean to me.” But she was wrong. I finally did. 

    But the real miracle happened in her last days. My niece asked Mom about a woman she had felt so much bitterness and hatred toward. When I was told about her response the words sent chills through me.

    “Oh honey. That was in the past. I have forgiven her.”

    What irony that I have been writing about forgiveness and my Mom gave me a miracle of forgiveness as her final gift. Forgiveness can happen. It is never too late. For those who think they cannot forgive I will tell you that with God it is possible. I am saddened that my Mom is gone but I am rejoicing in her victory. She was able to lay her burdens at the foot of the Cross and pass unencumbered into the presence of the Lord. She finished her days living out this verse.

    “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
    ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4‬:‭32‬ ‭NLT‬‬

    Seventeen Mother’s Days have gone by since she passed away. I praise God that I have not really lost my Mom.
    Nope.
    I know exactly where she is.

  • Comprehending The Gift Of God’s Grace Is Mind Boggling

    I write a lot about where our hope truly lies and how we need to be a positive light in a negative world. I came upon this wise advice for social media posters from the Gospel of John.

    “Stop grumbling among yourselves,” Jesus answered. (John 6:43)

    I laughed when I read that and thought this might become my new life verse for this very negative political season. The verse follows a section where Jesus talks about how He is the bread of life and has come from Heaven. This was just too much for the locals who knew Him as the kid raised by Mary and Joseph down at the carpenter shop. But the message is timeless. I need to stop grumbling and start living out of who God says I am as His child. Maybe that is why God calls me His child because I sure can be childish at times.

    The grumbling verse reminded me of one of my favorite grace parables. A vineyard owner hired some workers early in the morning to help bring in the harvest. Jesus continues the story.

    “At five o’clock that afternoon he was in town again and saw some more people standing around. He asked them, ‘Why haven’t you been working today?’ “They replied, ‘Because no one hired us.’ “The landowner told them, ‘Then go out and join the others in my vineyard. (Matthew 20:6-7)

    So far the story is nice. A kind and compassionate man wants to help some poor folks who had no work. They could work an hour and at least get a tiny bit for their effort. But Jesus is about to turn the “fairness” doctrine over like a table in the Temple.

    “That evening he told the foreman to call the workers in and pay them, beginning with the last workers first. When those hired at five o’clock were paid, each received a full day’s wage. When those hired first came to get their pay, they assumed they would receive more. But they, too, were paid a day’s wage. When they received their pay, they protested to the owner, ‘Those people worked only one hour, and yet you’ve paid them just as much as you paid us who worked all day in the scorching heat.’

    “He answered one of them, ‘Friend, I haven’t been unfair! Didn’t you agree to work all day for the usual wage? Take your money and go. I wanted to pay this last worker the same as you. Is it against the law for me to do what I want with my money? Should you be jealous because I am kind to others?’

    “So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last.” (Matthew 20:8-16, NLT)

    Can’t you just see it? The grumbling of the sweaty and exhausted all day workers decrying that they had been treated unfairly yet the truth is they got exactly the wage they agreed upon. I wondered about the reaction of the latecomers. Did they gloat about their luck? I don’t think so. I imagine they wept at the kindness of an unmerited gift given by a unexpectedly kind man. At 4 pm they faced the prospect of going home with nothing to provide for their family but two hours later they had been given, not earned, a full days wage! Think of the joy as the men went home and excitedly told about this amazing generosity. The family likely gathered around and touched the denarius like a sacred gift from Heaven. What a contrast of joy from a once forgotten group of men juxtaposed against the grumbling of the people who had done the “right” thing and expected to be treated better. What a picture of grace! We don’t earn grace by a full day or one hour effort. Grace is a gift. Grace is an unearned gift of love to be savored, appreciated, and treasured. 

    My old nature screams that people who make bad decisions over and over get what they “deserve.” They don’t “deserve” to be pursued and loved and restored. They made their bed—now let them lie in it. But there is a small quiet voice in my heart that tells me that they have value. That they are loved by their Creator. And that voice asks who am I to decide who “deserves” anything? Did I “deserve” this amazing gift of grace? The honest answer is no way. Remembering that comprehending God’s amazing grace makes it way easier to love and treat kindly that person who disagrees with you. 

    Would you open the outrageous gift of grace and accept it as a mind blowing outpouring of love from a Father who delights in you? Grace doesn’t make sense in our performance based culture. Grace is outrageous. And the amazing thing I find over and over is this simple truth. Grace changes hearts. It is the word the church in America needs to model more than ever. We are given inexhaustible grace. We have more than enough to share.

  • Can The Yoke Of Jesus Really Be Called Easy?

    This has been a tough season of life for many people I care deeply about. My heart feels heavy as I remember the words of Jesus.

    “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

    I wrote about this passage in my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace.

    What did Jesus mean by that statement, “My yoke is easy”? Clearly, the burdens of life are heavy. There is nothing easy about heartache, pain, and loss.

    I reread Jesus’ inviting words: “Come to me.” No one needs to go through life’s difficulties alone, but the truth is that Jesus will not force Himself on you. The wonderful news is He is always present and you have permission to come to Jesus whenever you are ready.

    In Jesus’ day, oxen were harnessed together with a wooden yoke, a beam that fit over the animals’ shoulders to keep them moving together in one direction. The oxen shared the effort to accomplish the task. That idea fit quite well into my former performance-driven faith. Of course Jesus is with me, but I decided that I had to pull my weight. The only problem with my view was that it was unbiblical and even dangerous.

    In this passage Jesus is not speaking of physical burdens. Jesus was talking about the yoke of the Torah, the yoke of the law of Moses, which his Jewish listeners would have known well. The Old Testament yoke represented submission to authority. The Jews knew that the law was impossible to keep, but they kept trying. Jesus was offering them His yoke of grace. Compared to the impossible standards of the Pharisees and the law, His way was easy.
    Agreed.

    Jesus makes another important offer. “Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart.”

    For years, I strained to pull my weight by self-effort, while Jesus quietly offered a better way. I don’t have to figure this out to be loved by Jesus. I just need to be available.

    “Let me teach you.”

    I wore myself out trying to do more to please Him, even as He whispered, “I am humble and gentle at heart. Your trust and faith pleases Me, not your joyless self-efforts to be better.”

    Members of that agrarian culture of Jesus’ time would have known that you train a young ox by pairing it with an experienced ox. The mature ox would carry the bulk of the burden as the younger one walked by its side and learned. That is a beautiful image. Jesus walking alongside me, but carrying the bulk of the burden (if not all of it) as I learn from Him. I don’t need to strain myself in an attempt to shoulder everything on my own; Jesus wants me to be willing to gently submit to His strength and not rely solely on mine. He is extending an offer to those who are exhausted, emotionally drained, and buckling under what life brings. Pain and loss are a given in this life, but it is comforting to know that I can find rest for my weary soul, even as I grieve and doubt and waver. When I am exhausted, I can take time and seek respite in Him. 

    Corrie Ten Boom wisely wrote these words. “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.” That strength is found in Jesus. He is your strength and your hope. Keep your eyes on Jesus and the words of a classic old church hymn will begin to ring true in your heart.

    Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
    Look full in His wonderful face,
    And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
    In the light of His glory and grace.

    The yoke of grace is easy and the strength of Jesus will get you through tough times.

  • How To Define The Voices In Your Mind

    Recently I saw a T-shirt with this message: 

    Even if the voices in my head aren’t real they do have some good ideas. 

    I got an initial chuckle out of that one. But then I thought, “Wait! The voices in my head often have terrible ideas”.

    I suspect that is true for some of you as well. Some of the bad voices in our heads are formidable foes that come from emotional and spiritual baggage.

    If I may lean on my sports background here, Satan calls the all-out blitz when people of faith go through seasons of trial and doubt. He delights in accusing and trying to rock the very foundation of your faith. Satan is, always has been, and always will be a liar. You have learned to never trust a liar at work or in other relationships. How much more should we pray to recognize and reject the lies that Satan attacks us with during adversity?

    There is another voice. It is much softer and requires more focus to hear. It is not a voice of shame. It is a voice of hope, love, acceptance, forgiveness, and grace. You have to slow way down and be quiet to hear this voice. 

    Jesus had to deal with Satan’s lies face-to-face. Three times He was tempted by the devil’s alluring promises (see Matthew 4:1-11). He rebuked the lies by leaning on Scripture. As the time neared for His time Jesus comforted His followers with this promise of a guiding voice.

    26 But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you. (John 14:26, NLT)

    If we believe that promise how would you expect the Spirit of God to communicate while teaching you? Through intimidation and shame? Of course not. Paul pointed out the incomprehensible love of God is his letter to the Romans.

    But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. (Romans 5:8, NLT)

    That kind of love communicates truth with grace and patience. Jesus followed that promise of the Holy Spirit with another promise. Peace of mind and heart.

    27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. (John 14:27, NLT)

    Our minds get hacked by the enemy. The voice I tend to hear first in the battle is the loud one. I need to step back, be still, and listen for the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit. 

    Satan’s voice is predictably negative. So many times I listen to the lament of friends and I recognize the voice they are hearing is not the tender Spirit of God. Here is just a partial list to evaluate to see if the voice you are hearing is from the Holy Spirit or the enemy. 

    • The voice of God convicts in love to help us grow. The enemy condemns.
    • The voice of God is calming and reassuring. The enemy creates anxiety and unrest.
    • The voice of God comforts. The enemy judges and shames.
    • The voice of God clarifies and directs. The enemy sows doubt and confusion.
    • The voice of God brings reassuring peace. The enemy peddles fear.
    • The voice of God gently leads you to trust Him. The enemy says to trust yourself.
    • The voice of God offers moral courage. The enemy promotes ungodly compromise.
    • The voice of God encourages. The enemy discourages at every turn.

    I have a simple question I ask myself when negativity floods my mind. Does the voice I am hearing reflect the grace, love, and character of Jesus? If not I redirect my heart toward His Word. Want another wonderful promise today?

    And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. (John 14:16, NLT)

    The Advocate is the Holy Spirit. He will never leave you. The Holy Spirit will always teach you and remind you of the love and grace of Christ. The Advocate will plant peace in your heart and mind. 

    I cannot imagine what my life would look like in this crazy culture without that comfort. Those voices of past sin and failures and hurt are no longer who I am. The voices of accusation that I might hear when facing loss and trials don’t define me anymore. The quiet voice of God is always available to you and me. I pray you will seek that comfort today. His tender voice is there. Always.